mack: now that i'm captain. we should like. stop. like the. the things we do. like i should get a girlfriend. right? that's what captains do. right smitty?
will: yeah sure man no sweat do what u want
mack: that's... it? ur not... like. upset?
mack, internally: he should be so fucking upset. like crying-his-eyes-out, so-angry-he-breaks-things-and-begs-me-not-to-leave upset. like he should tell me not to go through with it and that he'd be better for me than any girl. and he should obviously throw me down onto the bed and fuck me to make me understand that i'm all he wants. obviously. like objectively that's what he should do. like objectively that's what i would do if smitty said he'd want to fuck someone else. like i'd chain him to the bed and not let him leave until he swore i was all he wanted. and like obviously he should do the same to me bc he doesn't want anyone other than me and he doesn't want ME to even think about anyone else. like, objectively.
will, carefully keeping his voice easy-going and perfectly even: well yeah it was only a matter of time. fun while it lasted though, right?
mack, blood boiling: like it's been two years though. nothing?
will: dude no offence but ur not the only man in the world. if u wanna get a gf, get a gf. hey, do u think people still use raya for hookups or should i just redownload grindr?
mack, blank faced, gritted teeth: whywouldudothat.
will: i mean if ur getting a gf, then i'm--
mack: throws will's phone against the wall
mack: why would i say sorry? i'll buy u another one. ten if u want. like do u think ur grindr hookups would. or even could. like i'm obviously way better for u than any of them
will: that's not really how apologies work
mack: good bc i'm not apologizing when ur the one being a fucking idiot. pull ur head out of ur ass smitty obviously u won't need to download anything bc ur not fucking anyone else
will: well unfortunately u don't get to decide that for me.
mack: i do if ur my boyfriend, though.
will: well luckily we're not that, so.
mack: we are though. like exclusive. like no one other than me. right? say it
will, sighing theatrically: fineeee if that's what u want then whatever i guess. neither one of us will fuck anyone else. if u insist
mack: i do. like, ur mine smit. obviously.
will, internally, smug as hell even though he's been on the verge of hyperventilating ever since mack started talking abt getting a gf: and that's how it's done baybeeehh will smith married will smith chosen will smith the one and only suck it ladiesss i'm gonna make him buy me a ring with a rock so big my hand gets sore lugging it around yet another flawless play by wild wild willyyy
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