I see lists on lists on lists about introverts, who we are, what we want, how to take care of us, etc. That seems like an awfully big, blankety generalization. I don't feel good about being lumped in with a whole bunch or strangers, in the same way as I don't feel good about speaking on behalf of said bunch. But, as always, I am more than happy to share what I think (through words, in list form, and from the comfort of my very cozy, sparsely populated living room) under the relative anonymity of the internets.
1. Everybody talks more than I'm comfortable with.
I do my best to speak when I have something relevant to say, and then say little else. I have noticed through careful observations of both parents (one an introvert and the strong-silent type and the other an ambivert who loves the talking) that the more you say, the less people tend to listen. Sometimes all of the words are just overwhelming and I am just done.
2. I hate unplanned interactions
I walk around with headphones and sunglasses on as often as possible because 1. I get to pretend to be on a catwalk and it makes me feel sexy and 2. I don't like getting pulled into a conversation against my will. It catches me off guard and it makes me uncomfortable. It especially bothers me on the bus because I don't have anyplace else to go. Similarly uncomfortable are elevators, waiting in line, jury duty, breaks in the middle of class and parties. Speaking of parties...
3. Parties tend to involve too many people
I am always flattered when people invite me to things. I do like some people, and the people I like I really like. And I want to help you celebrate your housewarming, but I'm just too awkward to deal with all of the people and all of their small talk expectations. I don't really do well with strangers in groups of more than 1. My first impulse is to bring a book and/or spend the entire evening talking to your dog.
4. Bachelorette parties are my personal hell
Bachelorette parties typically mean a bunch of needlessly dick-shaped things, drinking a whole bunch (I suck at drinking), making small talk with women I don't know and usually don't have much in common with, and being forced into awkward, unplanned interactions with strangers. They can also mean male strippers (not my thing) and spending a pile of money that I just don't have for fun that I just won't have. Again, I am happy to help you celebrate your impending nuptials, but pretty please let me do it by buying you a good cup of coffee.
5. I'm introverted enough that I really only want to date other introverts
Meeting a partner's friends and being expected to go out and be around people on more than a once per week basis is too much. My current traveling companion is more introverted than I am and it's the best relationship I've ever had. I don't think those two facts are unrelated. Being in a relationship with another introvert means I don't have to explain myself when I say I just want to stay in and binge watch Netflix.
6. If I haven't been alone for too long I start to get strange
Like, I feel crazy and start saying more weird stuff than usual and I forget things. It's as if my brain is shutting down from overstimulation.
I absolutely hate talking on the phone. It's like an unplanned interaction but with no face. It's tedious and it makes me tired. If you call me I'm more than likely not going to pick up. But I'll text all day. Texting allows me to plan what I'm going to say and review it before I send it. I like having a prepared statement. You can also have an e-mail, a facebook message and even the occasional tweet. Similarly, I try not to set foot in a retail establishment between Thanksgiving and New Years. Dog bless the internet. I probably wasn't wearing pants when I bought your gift, just because I didn't have to.
8. Don't ask what I'm thinking
If I wanted you to know what I was thinking I would have told you. Since I didn't, you can safely assume that my thoughts are proprietary. All that's going to do is make me uncomfortable and I probably still won't answer you. Except now I'm irritated when before I was just thinking.
9. I hate people knocking on my door
Another unplanned, unsolicited interaction. Unless you are delivering something that I explicitly ordered, I don't want whatever it is.
10. Salespeople freak me out
Nothing is more off-putting than walking into a store and being immediately accosted for information. Hihowareyouwhatcanihelpyoufindermagherdhaveyouheardaboutourbigfatsalehihihi. I just can't. I promise I will ask for help if I need it. Otherwise, I did dress myself this morning and shopping is actually a pretty similar process.
11. More than likely I'm not mad at you, I don't hate you, that's just my face
I don't quite have resting bitchface, but sometimes it's close. I get lost in thought a lot. If I'm not saying anything it's probably just because I have nothing to say.
12. Loud people make me uncomfortable immediately
They just do. It's too much.
13. I feel like I live in a world built for extroverts
I know, poor me. And I know the grass is always greener, but it seems like in the public sphere being an extrovert is easier and gets you more. More comfort, power, influence, connections, business opportunities, whatever. But the private sphere, aka the inside of my house, is where I'm more comfortable anyway, and I have much more control over that.
14. I don't think there's anything wrong with the way I am.
I think it makes me a more critical thinker, more perceptive, and a better listener. Me, not you. There are plenty of critical thinking, perceptive extroverts who know how to listen. Being an introvert works for me. I like knowing how to be alone and knowing how to enjoy being alone, it makes me better company when I do choose to seek out other people.
I'm sure there's more. I'm not suggesting that anybody should cater to my idiosyncrasies, but I'm not apologizing for them either. For better or for worse they're mine and I like them.