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almost home
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Discoholic 🪩
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@chillinglikavillain
@clouds-94-blog @wolfsbloodxo @aligorfibro @butshewasntbittershewassad @fancy-femme @tofeelthesunagain @tgelayxu604 @aomac @superpoor-kids @jodiewig @rxsegxldn @pickledpomegranate @0000002256 @handbagsndgladrags
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@clouds-94-blog @wolfsbloodxo @aligorfibro @butshewasntbittershewassad @fancy-femme @tofeelthesunagain @tgelayxu604 @aomac @superpoor-kids @jodiewig @rxsegxldn @pickledpomegranate @0000002256 @handbagsndgladrags
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Baby otter being introduced to water
This is a top tier post
where can I find more videos like this
my dogs af
Guess who’s got a new ringtone
ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD
THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS
YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN
SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.
NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE.
NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING
NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE
GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED
IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGES thanks for the tip karkat
My wife just did this and has been running around the house screaming “IM A FUCKING GODDESS”
Its true, I have been.
@fancy-femme
Considering republicans are a joke themselves, we'd like to see some of these asks
actually it was just that 1 ask sorry
*feels intense dirty capitalist pleasure over acquiring a new material object* my father karl will forgive me because I have a retail kink and kinks are protected even under communism
THEY PUT THIS IN A TV SHOW
Miserable, swollen and poorly 😩
this is that one vine that you always have to watch when it comes on your dashboard
this vine represents everything that i am
do u ever forget to sleep or eat or drink water or something and ur like “oh shit yeah I need that to live”
me when I got money: ha! broke ass bitch how the dollar menu taste? I wouldn’t know because it’s Big Macs only around here hoe!!!!
me when I’m broke: capitalism is inhumane and must be put to an end