鐵門螞蟻

陽炎翼朱雀心

[chilxiuitl]

6.6.26

a little sad and alone among people. i fear the world i long for doesnt exist, and i dont know how to create it, except to be myself fully and authentically

but in the meantime, my heart hurts

i kept coming back in panic but even that world, those worlds, are colder now. i think i can take a page from my friend about what its like to be overlooked and yet to stay steady. in the meantime i self care and try hard and 大悲萬物

[thekimonogallery]

Old town of Tsumago, Japan in the rain.  Photography by Bernard Languillier on Flickr

[fuckyeahmarxismleninism]

April 30, 1945: Red Army troops enter Berlin and raise the Soviet flag over the Reichstag, symbolizing the defeat of Nazi Germany.

Photo: “Raising a flag over the Reichstag” by Yevgeny Khaldei. This famous photo was taken on May 2 to recreate the actual event two days earlier, when no photographer was present.

[picturesinhistoryblog]

A US Air Force Lieutenant is held captive by a young North Vietnamese girl soldier, 1967

[chilxiuitl]

[thebasedkaiya-deactivated202605]

i dont knowwww how to bond with people but i know i want to

[patrickbatemanamericanpsycho]

Neon Genesis Evangelion

[fkingfullmetal]

Fuck My Ex

[chilxiuitl]

忠勇功

[chilxiuitl]

TT.TT loss grief hatred, trying so hard to show up but compared to the amount of effort and skill it takes to thrive, it seems hopeless to live and survive -- how can anyone be happy here? my rejecting and judgement and alienation make me more incapable of success but i cant fake that this is okay or enough in any meaningful sort of way!

the important things, the ugly truth, the heavy chains, the yearning for freedom and being able to breathe gratitude and express deep love and joy --- wont you come back to me, in another form?

cant i start somewhere anew? it seems nowhere is safe or welcoming. it seems so difficult to break this.

[chilxiuitl]

help, i feel myself falling into old traps

familiar faces, overeactions, external discomfort from internal struggle, transgressive ego, insecure domineering, avoidant coldness, all for what?

i would hope that my path is made clearer with daily care, work, and awareness. i would hope that one thing doesnt imply another, that it is possible to feel two things at once. that it is worth it to be human and to have special needs and to be good

[hellish-daddi]

[hellish-daddi]

[remanence-of-love]

[chilxiuitl]

in tears from a cascade of crystal snow pears and frosted letters, flowers kiss plum and condensed milk, that person who has so much love to give is me

at that time, one of the first who returned my affection, who was cool and sweet, who called me on the phone, who drew me manga. things i absorbed into myself because of so much love i have been given, it can't possibly be that I would still feel empty and hungry

that crisp honey moon, bursting icy shards of sweet fruit, that moon is me tonight 🌕🌙🍐

[heartpeacenquiet]

[remanence-of-love]

[chilxiuitl]

百煉成萬重

才三認記

[04k96]