Perspective

Seeing the world we live in differently•Accepting life

[china7974mexicana]

Wanna freshen up those manicures? Get a new set before a trip? Hit my sister up! @naild_elizabeth she accepts walk ins and appointments! You won’t be disappointed in her work. Curious? Go check out her page for her work! #nails #atwater #naild #manicures #acrylic #gel #art https://www.instagram.com/p/BzJZmOqn_1G_9DnfixDL-L3KEvgf_wunuc89hw0/?igshid=qe9uex249kql

[china7974mexicana]

Thank you @st7rsoka 😭❤️💕 I appreciate you letting me be your model and doing my make up. I don’t have time recently to do my face or even have fun. But I’m thankful for you and for the small little break we took. 😘☺️ #makeup #challengelook

[china7974mexicana]

Definitely not all the pictures, just the ones on my phone. But got to walk the stage yesterday and I got to say I am really blessed to be surrounded full of love and laughter. 💕☺️ still got ✌🏽 more classes but one step away from the 🌎 🌍 #stanstategrad #EnglishTESOL

[china7974mexicana]

Time to set them out to get the wrinkles out 😉 #graduation #stanstate 13 more days, 4 finals, and then to tackle the stage. 👩🏻‍🎓

[china7974mexicana]

Four years came and went too fast. There were down moments and uplifting ones too. There are memories I choose to leave behind in the past because of the good ones I have in my present. I don’t regret having pledged Phi Mu. I’m definitely a better person because of it. But to the future members-do not let bitterness or negativity overpower the happiness or the positivity you are capable of achieving. Accomplish as much as you can because time is fleeting and soon you’ll be going Alum too. #phimuetaxi 🌙this is goodnight and not good bye🌙 💖

[china7974mexicana]

Missing Spain a little extra tonight 🇪🇸💝 #Spain #España

[china7974mexicana]

I'm supporting Children's Miracle Network Hospitals Dance Marathon! https://events.dancemarathon.com/participant/453571 My goal to support CMNH is to raise $100.00. "Since 1983, Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals has helped fill family's funding gaps by raising more than $5 billion. Dance Marathon helps support the nonprofit’s mission to save and improve the lives of as many children as possible. Donate for the children. ❤ #phimuetaxi #cmnh #dancemarathon2018 #csustan #donate #forthekids #FTK

[china7974mexicana]

I'm supporting Children's Miracle Network Hospitals Dance Marathon! https://events.dancemarathon.com/participant/453571 My goal to support CMNH is to raise $100.00. "Since 1983, Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals has helped fill family's funding gaps by raising more than $5 billion. Dance Marathon helps support the nonprofit’s mission to save and improve the lives of as many children as possible. Donate for the children. ❤ #phimuetaxi #cmnh #dancemarathon2018 #csustan #donate #forthekids

[china7974mexicana]

Soooooo....my belated gifts were finally gifted. Loved the reactions. #bts #sweater #army #bangtanboys #rapmonster #rm #v #taehyung #jungkook #kookie #jimin

[china7974mexicana]

[china7974mexicana]

Cheers to 2018!!! 🥂☺️Feliz Año 2018!

[china7974mexicana]

Life is a constant spin of events, stability hardly lasts so gotta learn to dance.

Unknown

[china7974mexicana]

Throwback to Sunday’s Concert! Totally loved it. Rode the BART for the first time too. My Eli and I’d first kpop concert. ⚠️Warning: there is screaming in the videos lol ⚠️ #kard #Kpop #Concert #sanfrancisco #wildkard

[china7974mexicana]

"Being above the clouds helps give a good dose of humility since you realize you're such a small life in the grand scheme of things" A couple more weeks and it turns into a year since I took my first flight and my first journey abroad. Tuve mucho temor a ver por la ventana entonces le pedí a un compañero de Estados Unidos que la tomará. Un día yo tomaré mi propia foto. 📷☁️🌎➡️🌍

[theartofanimation]

纳言.7

[china7974mexicana]

Breathtaking

[china7974mexicana]

Reverse Culture Shock Reflection

It's been 6 months since I've been back from Spain. It's taken me a while to make this post. For many reasons I couldn't bring myself to write it. I've had tough semesters, but this one wasn't any different. Upon leaving for Spain I had many fears: Would I be forgotten? What happened if I lost friends? What if I don't make friends abroad? What will be when I return? These were only a couple of them. After these months of getting back into this life, I've come to a point where I need to write out my thoughts and emotions. Many don't really talk about what they experience or live when coming back home after studying abroad. Before I go any further, I must state boldly and honestly I do not nor will I ever regret studying abroad in Bilbao. It was a dream come true, a prayer I desperately prayed that was granted to me, it was a wish that gave me more than I'd believed. To answer the above fears, I was forgotten. The me that left the U.S. didn't come back. I came back different. I came back changed. But most of this change came from within. I love myself more, I'm willing to be selfish for myself, and I'm not longer willing to let myself be used or stepped on anymore. But this caused me to lose balance. I forgot about the friends who did remember me. I forgot to care about them. I forgot to care about my family. Something I didn't wish to accept until I was faced to accept and to fix. A mistake that I am trying to correct and try harder at keeping those loved ones. I did lose friends. I lost one that I hadn't thought was possible to lose. It pains me. It hurts because I no longer think "what can I do to keep it? What can I do? I'll do anything." The me that didn't come back would've tried harder, but the me that came back thinks "friendship is a two way, I'm no longer responsible for keeping the whole boat, if they choose to walk away then I am fine with that. I'll cherish the memories but I'm not willing to have all the blame piled on me. I'm not willing to apologize for what isn't my portion of responsibility. I'm no longer willing to tolerate to that extent." I know some are meant to walk in your life and leave it, but I still find it difficult to not cry when they exit. Some think I was betrayed, but I don't see it that way. I simply see it as two people that changed and stopped trying to meet halfway. Stopped trying to see the others view. I hold no grudge or resentment. Neither anger or sorrow. I've already shed my tears and my pain. I'll simply cherish the memories and hold those close to my heart for they were precious moments full of laughter and joy. Whatever the future holds I'll take a step toward it. The me that lived in Bilbao did make friends. I made friends with amazing people. I learned and I grew more because of those friendships. I was able to leave my prejudices and my judgements aside to meet and befriend people I wouldn't have believed I'd become friends with. For that I am beyond blessed and thankful. The be that happened to exist upon my return was hard to accept and hard to adjust to. Many refused to accept that I needed time to adjust. Many refused to believe I needed it. The question of "what can 5 months abroad change? It can't change that much" but for me it did. I came back happy and joyful. I came back excited and hopeful. But much of that was doused with cold water the day I arrived home. Much of that was dimmed when I saw that those around me didn't much care to LISTEN to me, sure they'd ask, but it seemed to be asking to ask but not because they actually wanted to LISTEN. The reason we abroad students talk about our experience is because talking about it makes it real. Talking about it helps me remember it did happen. It helps me be the me that was born there. Many didn't believe when I said I'd changed. They didn't support as I thought they would. They didn't understand my feelings and my frustrations. I came back to the home I left, a home I love, but a home that frustrated me. I came back changed and the home I left was unchanged. And why should it have changed? They've been living the life I was living not too long ago. My home didn't have its world turned around. My life did. I lived and saw a new world. I'd made a home of my own, a home I had control over, a home I MYSELF had made. I came back and I just couldn't fit myself back into the space I'd left empty. I couldn't fit myself into the mold of the me I'd been. But it saddens me to say that some of me has made myself fit back into that mold. If only to make my home feel home. For those leaving to study abroad, do it. Don't hold back. Go for it. It's an experience that will have its highs and it's lows. It will test you more than you thought it could. It is up to you how to grow and what to learn. But know that even the lows will be cherished. The lows will help make the highs that much more remembered. Don't be afraid to cry. Do not be afraid to laugh and to live. I sure as hell don't regret it. Even after everything and everything I'm still going through I wouldn't take it back. I would leave again and live it all again.

[china7974mexicana]

The same sun may rise and set all over the world, but that sun looks different as it visits the lands. I miss the sunrises and the sunsets. I miss the cool breeze kissing my cheeks and teasing my hair as I walked the concrete pathways of the city. I miss smelling the Ria as I sauntered over the bridge. But most of all I miss the me I had found.