Dear Tina,
It is incredibly difficult to write you this letter, as being without you is the hardest thing Iâve done in such a long time. Before I met you, I was a wreck. Depressed, alone, self-loathing. I tried so hard to be good enough for those I cared about, but they werenât ever pleased with me. I basically felt like shit. Then you came along and turned my whole life upside down. Iâll never forget the day you were introduced to me. I was blown away. Honestly. I never felt so fucking amazing in my entire life. I didnât even know it was humanly possible to feel so euphoric, so blissful, so confident, so energetic and alert, so⊠alive! You gave me the type of feeling Iâd been searching for my entire life, and I fell in love instantly. From then on, you were my obsession, my world. You were on my mind all day every day, and whenever I wasnât with you, I spent all my time frantically, desperately trying to find you again. You took away all my pain and sadness and replaced it with pure, indescribable joy and happiness. It felt as though heaven was coursing through my veins whenever you were around. You made me feel more bliss and pleasure than anyone or anything else ever has, and I will always be grateful to you for that. Make no mistake, you had and always have a special place in my heart and in my memories. However, you are also extremely detrimental to my life, and I can no longer allow you to be in it. It took me far too long to realize this, but you have brought far more hurt and destruction into my life than goodness. You never took away my pain and sadness, you just postponed it, then multiplied it by a thousand. For all you gave me, you sure liked to take. You took and took and took; nothing satisfied you. My car, my phone, my laptop, my education, my future, my family, my money, my friends, my mental health, my sanity. Even my free will. I was your slave. You controlled my every thought, my every move, my every decision. The entire time, I felt like you were lifting me up to heaven, when in reality you were dragging me to hell. I felt you were giving me wings, but you took away my sky. For every time you made me feel euphoric, you also made me feel lower and more depressed than I thought was possible, even worse than I felt before you came along. For every time you made me feel confident, untouchable and bulletproof, you also made me feel weak, vulnerable, shameful and self-loathing. For every time you made me feel accepted, you also made me feel isolated. For every time you made me feel awake, alert and full of energy, you also made me pass out and sleep for days at a time; sometimes I would be so drained I would struggle to get out of bed or even open my eyes. For every time you lifted my mood and made me carefree, you made me irritable and angry, with more cares than I even wanted to think about. And for every time you made me feel alive, you made me feel like I was dying. For every single good thing you ever gave me, you took it away and made me feel nothing but more pain and misery. You took everything I had, and you wonât stop until you have my life. Well Iâll tell you right now thatâs not going to happen. This is where we will part ways. Iâm sick and tired of you making me sick and tired. Iâm not letting you have any more of me. Iâm standing on my own two feet and taking back my life and my freedom. I will always cherish the good times weâve had, but bringing you back into my life will mean nothing but bad news. Saying goodbye to you is the hardest thing Iâve ever had to do because you were my crutch, my best friend, the one I relied on to get through everything. But I know that I need to do this. I thought you were the solution to my problems, when in reality you caused them and made the already existing ones worse. I will always miss you, but I will not miss the misery you brought into my life, and I know I canât have one without the other. So, with a heavy heart, I say goodbye forever and donât ever come back.
snowghoul
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tangentwithtanner
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yousharknotpass
