Chl03b3ar16

[chl03b3ar16]

Warning, vent post

So during my parents divorce, I was the venting dummy for everyone I forced myself to carry that emotional baggage because I thought that what everyone needed, and some people close to me explained that’s not healthy and I realized that. So I continuously try and try to stop but when I do I get made the bad guy saying that “I don’t care” and “they’re slowly losing me” but what their loosing is their venting dummy. They keep guilting me back into being their venting dummy. I’m tired of it all and honestly I’m starting be be apathetic towards everything I don’t know if that’s a coping mechanism or what but I just don’t know anything anymore. I don’t know how I’m feeling or what I want or even something as simple as what I want to eat. I both feel everything and nothing at the same time. I just don’t know. I’m starting to numb.

[chl03b3ar16]

today was…eventful to say the least and I just want to use that as a reminder to y’all to not feel like you have to solve everything for everyone… I’m speaking from experience it only takes from yourself….. it makes you incredibly exhausted to the point doing basic tasks feels like running a marathon so remember to set boundaries for yourself and know when to back away for your health and safety

[chl03b3ar16]

if your like me and feeling a bit espresso depresso about not being able to hug your bestfriend cause they live a thousand miles away think of it like this, you can’t hug each other everyday but that makes the times you can all the more special and a memory you will cherish. You might not get to talk to them everyday but that means the times you do are never boring. You might not even get to say “i love you” everyday but that only makes the times that you do even more meaningful and powerful. (Not only is this words of wisdom for people like me this is also for my amazing and beautiful bestfriend @pippin-pigeon)

[pn-thoughtsofdread]

“Happy snails are the largest ones. That’s why they are so big they gotta keep all that happiness somewhere”-@Chl03b3ar16

Chl03b3ar16

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Tee hee I love this and I absolutely agree!

[chl03b3ar16]

Love yourself for who you are. No matter what anyone has to say about anything about you your beutiful. People always want to change things about themselves but you are perfect how you are you just can’t see it because your blinded by your thoughts. If you think changing your hair will make you feel more confident then go for it but consider the permanent changes because later on you might want your old self back. Take care, drink water, eat food and be kind to yourself and others. <3

[chl03b3ar16]

why do things happen the way that they do? A person that I trusted with my life from a young age left without a second thought abandoning my family and that left me hurt but I didn’t show it. I felt that I needed to appear fine for the sake of others and as I grew older that habit stuck.. except it’s not a habit anymore it’s now a normal day to day thing it’s exhausting. Don’t do what I do please tell your loved and trusted ones how your really feeling it may be difficult at that moment but it’s worth it in the end. Don’t make the same mistake I did. Take care of yourself you deserve it.

[pn-thoughtsofdread]

"The best thing to hold onto in life is each other." — Audrey Hepburn

What does family mean. Familial love to me is my dad pulling up to my driveway in his old as dirt blue Toyota Carola blasting Manic Monday by the bangles after you’ve had the worst possible Monday morning. Family is when someone you love wether related to you or not makes time for you and puts effort in to sharing both joys and sorrows. It’s the couple who I wish every day were my real grandparents, asking me to their birthdays and anniversary’s. It’s having an adopted sister who lives across the continent in another country, but you still talk every day. It’s knowing that no matter what house I come home to at the end of my day there will always be safety and love waiting for me. Family is my mom sitting at our kitchen table building a puzzle as i poor my heart out to her about art troubles shitty music and how much I love this blog. It’s sitting in silence on the couch with my sister both of us with our headphones on and ignoring the world. It’s walking with my baby brother to the basement because he’s to scared to go on his own. It’s belting out Hamilton while crammed into a car on a road trip none of us wanted to take. Family is shared moments and feelings, shared music and meals. My family is my world.-PN

[chl03b3ar16]

I love being on call with my best friend they melt my stress and sadness away and replace it with laughter and love and I cannot thank them enough for that they are the most beautiful, kindest, amazingly wonderful person and honestly to me they are perfect they are my soulmate my best friend my family I love them so much <3

[chl03b3ar16]

Just a reminder to be kind to everyone and yourselves <3

[pn-thoughtsofdread]

“A problem is a chance for you to do your best.” —Duke Ellington

Yesterday I came home, the fires closest were put out. The smoke still stays a horrid reminder of all my city has lost. Today I was home, or well I was in my house. I also couldn’t be farther away from home, home is my favourite person, favourite sound, favourite colour, favourite face. She is a force stronger than any, a life more beautiful than most. She lives 3,107.997 km away, and I love her more than anything. My best friend, my home and my happy place. -PN

[chl03b3ar16]

How is you fellow human person? <3

Very good how are you fellow human being

[chl03b3ar16]

Just a cool cat

[pn-thoughtsofdread]

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched — they must be felt with the heart.” -Helen Keller

Floating is such a strange way to be, though if you think about it we are all floating in some way. Floating out on the lake today was interesting, sitting on the board and just talking and living. It turned into quite the surreal experience, I learned a lot I shared a lot I taught some. I saw an eagle flying overhead and it just seemed right. Floating is so strange yet it just seems right. -PN