The catch up
Woooow! It’s been a while since I did anything on here. Can you believe I opened this in 2011! A lot has changed in the years that have followed.
I’m now 27
Mammy to a five year old going on 15🤦🏼♀️😂
House 🏠
Work
And I’m in my final year of university. Who would of thought it hey. The girl who came on here 8 years ago, blogging away about life. Granted I’m not “well off” but life’s not too bad at the moment. Asa’s absolutely thriving and will be 6 this year. Literally where does the time go. I miss my little 7lb 10ounce baby. He’s growing into a lovely boy - if I do say so myself 😁 polite, caring, intelligent and above all else .. he’s happy. All I want is for him to have these qualities, know right from wrong and be whatever he wants too be. Go where he wants too, do what he wants too. I know my job as his mammy is right then. So far so good 🤞🏻
Last year was awesome the first 6months, then it all went sour . A guy- the norm🤦🏼♀️ that’s my problem see, I’m such a complete sucker for love. Blue eyes and a nice smile. This time it was different. I got myself sucked into a single dad. Asa’s dad isn’t around so I think the fact I knew he was an awesome dad made me fall for him. It was great, but he’d disappear and be weird. Then came a shock... I was pregnant. Now I’ve always wanted to have another baby, I never wanted a big gap but I’d been on my own 7years all in all, never interested in anybody. So was a shock! Fast forward the nightmare. I decided to keep the baby, had a lot of hurdles and complications. He decided we’d do it together, then came the news. No heartbeat 💗 .. to say I was devastated would be an understatement, I completely lost my marbles. He left me to do what needed to be done alone. And didn’t want to know. And all a week before Christmas. I ruined it all. But that wasn’t the worst, I’ve never felt pain like it. To lose your child is unbearable and to top it off the person I needed wasn’t there. I didn’t care about me, I couldn’t eat or sleep. I just wanted to know he was okay. Pah!
The end result, a breakdown and anti depressants.
I’ve lost friends because they just didn’t understand or want too. But I pulled along for Asa and my family and most importantly -myself 😊 I’m proud of that. It’s always going to be apart of me , I don’t regret it. But I regret chasing him and trying to get answers for his actions. But we live and learn don’t we. I know I have!!
So now we are in JULY 2019, crazy how fast time goes. The last 5months have been another rollercoaster of emotion. But I think I’ve met “the one” . They say you know when you have. I’ve got that feeling. It’s a bit bonkers but I do. We are polar opposites! For starters I’m welsh and he’s English 😂 but he’s bloody fit! I’m crazy about him. He came into my life at such a dark time, I’m very grateful because I found myself again and he brought something out of me I didn’t know. It hasn’t been the easiest but anything that’s worth it isn’t . There’s a lot that needs to happen for things to be “perfect”, but I’m persevering because I love him. Love conquers all blah blah blah haha..
So yeah , quick long catch up. Think I’ll be blogging more now. I forgot how therapeutic it is.
Time to enjoy the summer holidays with my boy as much as I can 💚