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Ellen blog: laugh-dance-ellen

[sexualremarks]

WHY DO PARENTS ALWAYS RUIN YOUR DAY AND THEN ACT LIKE THEY DIDNT RUIN YOUR DAY AND WONDER WHY YOURE IN A BAD MOOD

[joseph-joestop]

friend: makes a typo

me: makes fun of the typo, repeats the typo for the next ten minutes straight, makes puns based on the typo, names my firstborn after the typo

[mefisutofaust]

when the teacher makes a mistake in a math problem

Teacher : I’m a human too guys, I make mistakes too

me :

[robinshcerbatsky]

[archatlas]

[chlorihated]

Me: *withdrawing money from the atm*

Girl Scouts posted up across the ATM: Wassup playa!!!

Me: OH SHIT!!!

[televisionandchill-deactivated2]

[traicionerra-blog]

[haroldysl]

valentines day is tomorrow is anyone secretly in love with me????? speak now bc I’m probs in love with u too 

[dogmuzzle-deactivated20170328]

me at the dentist

dentist: when was the last time you flossed?

me: bro u were THERE

[youneversoul]

My shyness has ruined so many opportunities

[8nq-deactivated20161103]

you’re my favorite notification.

[bleachbrat]

Me: I am content

Me: *remembers argument that never properly ended/ all the things that bother me that I’ve never said bc I’m terrified of being abandoned*

Me: I am no longer content

[lilacpug]

[peperomint-deactivated20160104]

me: *eating microwaved ramen noodles and watching kitchen nightmares* cannot believe this asshole didnt use fresh chicken in his paella, unbelievable

[malibamis]

people actually liking each other at the same time sounds so fake

[genderh20]

Today I skipped class instead of arriving two minutes late because my school’s tardy policy is harsher than its absence policy and that’s all you need to know about the American education system.