bellyachers @bellyachers - Tumblr Blog

to know that I could come back here and write about it, to tell you that I’m still dreaming of california in loops, that I’m often holding a fistful of fallen flower petals, cleaning out my room, thinking of horse hair, braids, knots, treble time in distant states, getting in my head, love letters to deliver, that there’s a thread running through it all, there’s a light waiting to be described, there’s work to do

still focused on gestures, at the moment trying to remember how to look at myself + how to make better work (because it should feel like hot light, should feel like someone pointing out ash on yr cheek), and soon (but also be about, or like, bad blurred pictures I can’t make sense of but still love), listened to kp on repeat I hate it when dudes try to chase me, wrote the note ‘dogwood or mt. loma prieta’, bought a dress for a wedding, palpated my birthmark, (it’s still mine), thought of that very old jawbreaker song that goes I built this life and now it’s mine, wore a smoke coloured t-shirt and a smoke coloured jumper and pushed up the sleeves, watched videos of fields

still all about but you know I hated to close the door on you + love is not a symptom of time, time is just a symptom of love + but I fell for you honey easy as falling asleep + will you tuck your shirt, will you leave it loose + you ranged real hot and real cold but I'm sold, I am at home on that range --- all things I wish I could write like, anyway, you break that beam of light,

TIME MOVES BOTH WAYS ///