zombieland sentence starters (pt. 1)
Look i know you’re in a rush, but it only takes two seconds.
If caring too much about hygiene is an offense, then i’m a smooth criminal.
Seriously, i don’t have the guts god gave one of those trembly toy poodles.
They say you can’t go home again.
Here’s the thing about scared people, they’re great at hiding it.
They say you know home by the way it makes you feel when you leave.
I’m not easy to get along with, and i’m sensing you’re a bit of a bitch.
Stretching’s important. You should stretch.
Whatever’s inside an overturned hostess truck, it can’t be good for your health.
This twinkie thing? Not over yet.
Ever since i was born, i’ve been ruled by irrational fear.
Last i saw, he was still out there, going crazy
Quit it! Some homeless guy tried to eat you?
Set aside, the feverish, homeless cannibal. I’m living the dream!
I heard there’s still a place untouched by all this crap.
You’re like the penguin at the north pole who’s heard the south pole’s really nice this time of year.
Wanna see how hard i can punch?
Best do like me and put home sweet home in your rear view.
I used to love grocery shopping.
I’ve seen em eat tofu, black licorice, and fourteen of the fifteen offerings from Lean Cuisine.
All i could think, all i could think was, what are the odds! Another marriageable woman to bring home to the folks.
Relax! I just passed for a zombie!
Are the two of us smart enough to come up with a con like that?
Knowing them? It’s a trap.
With the muscles and the glasses. And how he sucks in his stomach. I’m guessing high school football trainer.
They can die happy… I mean.
We’re not going back! They’re dangerous! Okay… not dangerous. Pathetic.
I saw this Discovery Channel show. On wildebeest herds. They always wait for the slow and weak. That way, when the lions show up, they only eat the slow and weak.
Make one more adjustment to my seat, and you’re riding “Bitch.”
Not so worried about global warming, Tipper. Apocalypse and all.
They’re a natural stimulant. Keeps a man awake.
Society? Collapsed. Population? Destroyed. Hair? Bouncy.
It’s a scary world out there. But someone’s gotta poop their pants in it. Might as well be me.
Once I work out this neck crick. Payback time.
In the meantime, remember, cardio, seatbelts, and -- this has nothing to do with anything -- but a little sunscreen never hurt anyone.