[chocoboparty]

🐥Hello!! I’m Prompto!!

im a system host/fictive! my pronouns are pri/prin and im (bodily)22 years old! this is a personal blog for me only!! i will post thoughts and reblog things i like :) some info about me:

▫️🌼 autistic with adhd

▫️🌼 suspected osdd1b system

▫️🌼 bodily puerto rican (english/spanish ok!)

▫️🌼 engaged to my perfect fiancé!!!!!

more info, DNI/BYF, and userboxes under the cut!! please read my DNI before interacting!!

main blog instagram

🐥Even More Stuff!!

my typing abilities fluctuate! i try to use simple sentences on this account as its easier for me. if anything needs a translation/clarifying lmk!!

i am a very troubled and traumatized person, i will sometimes vent but everything will be tagged accordingly. i would also appreciate if anyone could let me know if i over share, as i struggle to understand the boundary and im working on not doing it as much!!

my tagging system will look like this:

#🐥talking / #🎮reblog / #🩻vent / #🌼me #🐟noct / #🎧autisms / #🫂sys stuff

feel free to mute any of these if needed!! :]

🐥Do Not Interact!!

please don’t interact with my account if any of these describe you! thank you :)

▫️pro/ship, pro/contact paras

▫️anti xenogender/neopronouns, terfs

▫️syscourse/fake claim others

▫️like/talk about ardyn izunia positively at all

🐥Before You Follow!!

some things you should know before following/interacting with me / my account :)

▫️i am still very much connected to my source, and have actual memories from it. please refrain from making weird comments about me or noctis (the characters)

▫️there might be passing references to both hypersexuality and paras, since I suffer from both, they will be tagged. i am pro recovery

▫️i don’t participate in syscourse, all i know is the basic knowledge that trauma is needed to form a system during childhood

▫️this account is mostly rambling and personal talks about my experiences, might post over and over

🐥Userboxes!!

thank you for reading all the way through!! here’s some userboxes that fit me!

[color-palettes]

I’ll See You Tonight - Submitted by s0r4sp0nyt41l

#884499 #bb6588 #8889cc #ccaa87 #e4a8ca

[nebulagore]

THE INFECTED SLUSH PRESENTS . . .

BORFEMINEU !

(bor-femin-neu)

a gender for when your bpd (borderline personality disorder) affects your neutral-aligned gender in a feminine way for whatever reason.

made for those exclusively with/questioning/or suspected bpd. not intended for those who are transbpd or any varient.

coined by me (@viralvirvs), but if this was already coined, consider this an alt. flag !

graphics — @/the-mad-habit

[punk-circus]

someone give this boy some PDA!!!

[chocoboparty]

I think we should stop centering the comfort of people without CDDs when talking about whether or not they can use terms that are for people with complex dissociative disorders.

Someone finding terms like alter and system “helpful”, doesn’t mean they should be using them when they don’t have a CDD. those words in context are specifically talking about CDDs. they are used in medical and psychiatric contexts and are Specific to people with CDDs.

I don’t understand why it’s more important that people without these disorders are able to use words that aren’t for them because they “help” them. why is their comfort more important than the people who actually suffer from the disorders? how is it helpful to use a word that doesn’t actually describe what you’re experiencing? how is it helpful to muddy the waters of the words meanings just to make it fit into things that it wasn’t mean to be used for?

it’s not hard to use different terms. it’s not hard to not appropriate terms that are specific to disorders. idk. maybe we should be worrying about how it’s affecting the people with the disorders instead of people without it?

[starlight-labyrinth-system]

I’m so fuckin annoyed honestly. “Fictives can’t have source trauma it’s not possible” my ass.

Dude if that’s true then explain to me why certain things from my source that are mentioned make me shut down or dissociate. Explain to me wanting to cry and scream because memories hurt.

Explain to me why my headmate breaks down into tears whenever she fronts and she’s triggered by random things that related back to her source.

Not possible? Not possible?! I’m glad you don’t have to deal with source trauma but some of us fucking do. Idk the science behind it but I know it’s happening. Maybe the brain just needs to fill in the missing years of our life and says “oh fake memories are better then no memories or what really happened irl- right?”

Idk bro but it fucking sucks and it is really fucking painful.

[newblgo]

usually it's because trauma is similar even metaphorically to what happened to the body eventually if brain has a need for a fictive then trauma is added because it's part of something that is introjected so kinda... would say accidentally but not really if you know what I mean

so pseudomemories - either source comes from media or inner world - are valid

it's part of what mind believes

in movie United states of Tara an alter called Buck was explaining his lack of male part of body by saying he lost it at war as he had to somehow accept his situation

in Alice and Frankie you can see an alter who is white despite of body being black as they were a victim of racism so they wanted to be stereotypically pure/better/deserving of the status and respect they never had but also turned into a persecutor

in real life a kid can create an alter that is a dragon from something they watched because it's scary and can protect them but it can come with a baggage of whatever that dragon been through to be more realistic - not only traits but possibly memories as we speak

we don't have to know/be aware WHY it happens the way it does, sometimes it isn't deeper than - I felt connected to that character and when it splitted it just kinda is that character more or less so obviously it will have some background even if system didn't go through that

it's hard to understand and even harder to live as you will go through flashbacks of things that didn't truly happen but you can't help it, it's happening

so many times we've been dealing with things that came from head space as they mirrored and even sometimes exagerrated what we had to deal with irl we felt ashamed and judged but it all makes sense to us and that matters, we have to process it through those "fake" experiences, at times even we are punished by something tragic by a persecutor who says we deserve it and it doesn't have to mean anything else than an odd way to self harm

you can dig into reasons behind all this, you don't have to though, it's still part of your life, good is to understand it's an illness as it can fuck with your head a lot if you don't try to making shit worse so grounding can help as well as therapy if one has access to it

good luck!

[plurapony]

DID is not Plural

Alright so since we are talking semantics, let's remove the DID background from the conversation and talk about the meaning of Plural.

Plural: Denoting More than One

Plural DOES NOT explicitly "more than one person" it has never meant that.

An alter is an alternative state of consciousness. So DID is! Plural because you have MORE THAN ONE state of consciousness!!

So even if you don't believe DID is having multiple people in your head, DID IS STILL PLURAL.

Now onto having multiple people in your head...

This entire discourse essentially boils down to semantics. Your version of "multiple people" may mean that there are multiple fully fleshed out individuals who are separate and live their seperate lives. And that's okay! But you need to realize lot of language is subjective and just because YOU have that meaning does not mean everyone does.

For us "multiple people" just means individuals who's thoughts and opinions matter. Who should be treated with respect and listened to. This does not mean they are all fleshed out.

For an example I'll bring up Chasm. Chasm doesn't have pronouns and is only referred to by Chasm. Chasm doesn't have interests or care about Chasm and only exists to be a voice for others. Chasm does not have a physical appearance in the headspace. Chasm just exists to complete Chasm's duties.

Just because a word means something to you DOES NOT MEAN IT MEANS THE SAME TO EVERYONE. Stop dictating the language others use to heal.

And an afterthought

It's disappointing that the DID system discussions have essentially boiled down to semantics. Especially with the knowledge that many of us in this space are neurodivergent - something that heavily impacts the way we perceive the world and what their meanings are.

DID is extremely under researched and we could be sharing much more productive conversations, but instead it's all about what a specific word means and why you can't or cannot use it.

[chocoboparty]

if you’re using the words alters/system or anything that is synonymous with those words but don’t have/consider yourself to have a complex dissociative disorder you are appropriating clinical terms that don’t apply to you. those terms are by definition specifically talking about parts in complex dissociative disorders. it’s not gatekeeping or denying an experience when those words have specific psychiatric meanings and it does no one any good to use them incorrectly. systems are specific to complex dissociative disorders. there is no other way to form a system by definition.

the words you use have meaning and are actually important and part of a diagnosis. it’s okay for a term not to be for you.

[dame-nostalgique]

I made some little fairies out of pressed flowers 🌷

[errantknightess]

fishing trip

[chocoboparty]

going to be so fr w/ u guys maybe if the term system wasn’t used by people who don’t have complex dissociative disorders the world would be a better place

[softwaring]

moon and rainbow at sunrise by mark ham

[maryblackwood]

we have always lived in the castle illustrated by thomas ehretsmann for centipede press

[chocoboparty]

why so many posts in osddid tumblr just claiming things don’t happen because they don’t happen to You specifically… sure there are things that can’t happen but so much is just things other systems experience… because they are other systems… different from yours…

you do not know what’s happening in other’s lives to make their system be the way it is.. all we can know is our own experience, there is value in accepting experiences that aren’t ours

[animatedglittergraphics-n-more]

[animatedglittergraphics-n-more]

[chocoboparty]

fiancé been busy for hours (not his fault) feel bad for him. miss him. dislike being without him for too long. sometimes makes me feel small, don’t have anyone else to talk to. or maybe don’t feel like talking to anyone else. don’t consider myself lonely but I prefer him. I prefer him and Ignis and gladio and even luna /source. but can’t talk to iggy or gladio and noct is busy </3

fictive ramble more under cut

really miss being with friends /source

miss being outside and driving in regalia and smelling iggy’s food and trying to arm wrestle gladio but never lets me win. see Gladio’s favorite ramen at super market. see mention of fishing think of going with Noctis. all of us with campfire trying to keep warm. been years. but im still same age. stuck. only noct understands. lucky to have him with me at least. like we both got sucked into a different dimension. weird. call irl friends names from source because makes things easier. always forget to use real name when refer to them. want me and Noctis to be happy and traveling and not worrying about anything too much. but it’s okay. just weird to not be in source anymore.