[calling-out-corruption]

Modern life.

[chocoletd]

🤔

[severelyfuturisticharmony]

Did you know?

Online look for the best feiyue shoes on: http://www.icnbuys.com/feiyue-shoes

[sriramallama]

I reblog this twice a month and still have yet to implement it in my routine

[chocoletd]

👍

[funnyandhilarious]

Relaxing In A Few Seconds

[chocoletd]

👍

[demegoddess]

reblog dis and money will magically appear

[boldbad28]

👀👀

[domokittie]

Reblog

[mrcum1]

Yea

[chocoletd]

😁

[niggaainndamatrix-deactivated20]

All the times Samuel L Jackson said “Muthafucka” in a movie lol

[chocoletd]

😂

[xshuttlesworth]

YO WHO REMEMBERS THIS 🤣🤣🤣

[destinio1]

This is STILL one of the funniest videos EVER!

[messyjessysworld-deactivated202]

Pretty sure I reposted this already but idkk 😂

[chocoletd]

😂😂

[destinyhadachild-deactivated201]

Who is this person, I swear I need to befriend excellence like this.

[pharaohoftheghetto]

Best man at my wedding fr

[kinkynproud1]

This is by far the best video on tumblr in the history of tumblr. He’s amazing.

[chocoletd]

💯

[kingrudegyalchina]

🚬🐸

[kingrudegyalchina]

This NEEDS MORE NOTES

[chocoletd]

👍💯

[pandaaamonium14]

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! _______________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral… _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

[skrillcholas-cage]

oh my god these are great

[princemetalthunder]

fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes

[chocoletd]

😂

[cartnsncreal]

I guess this is why straight men don’t like to talk about their issues with friends because it always turns into a joke. 

this absolutely broke my heart. 

#BlackMentalHealthMatters 

[nooniebaddass-deactivated201804]

Smh It’s Always A Joke

[trilligan-island-deactivated202]

This why I can’t fuck with a lot of people cause it’s always just a joke

[17mul]

😡💔

[satanic-alienz]

#BlackMentalHealthMatters!

[chocoletd]

😖

[thebookwormfairy]

[jphcrk-deactivated20251128]

*pretends I’m reblogging this for fun but I’m really reblogging this because I’m super fucking paranoid*

[thegrizzler-deactivated20180526]

Same

[lordbear1]

Why the fuck did I read this!!!

[chocoletd]

🤔

[24kt0nyg0ldz]

This how u know if a girls head game is A1. This is arguably one of the funniest skits i’ve ever came across. Please watch this and reblog this so everyone can see this. Promise it’ll make your night or day lol 

[profoundsavage]

LMFAO brush she said “ya dick look like Forest Whitaker” 

[madredenutrias]

V BBM KUK km k

[lovethyhippie]

Lmfaoo

[sipnsyphe]

lmao the Lebron part got me dead xD

[ugggghhhhhhhh]

Where can I subscribe?!?!?

[yourbigsisnissi]

Pure cinematic gold from start to finish lmao

[datboinitty]

Too damn funny

[chocoletd]

😂

[imstuckinarut-astrology-deactiv]

Virgo does often function better in a clean and tidy environment, but this can go beyond just being a neat person but to being sensitive to their surroundings, to seeing the environment they find themselves in as an extension of the state they are in inside. Clutter outside can build upon feelings of clutter inside. Tidiness, or going beyond that, a serenity, can give them space to breathe.

Interesting when considering that Virgo is the oppositional energy to Pisces, the way they also slot themselves into their exterior world. Both are affected heavily, if in different ways, by the environment in which they find themselves, their states manipulated.

[chocoletd]

👍

[fiti-vation]

[chocoletd]

👍

[victorious]

Reblog this and money will be entering your life this week

[chocoletd]

👍

[ithelpstodream]

[lissanaria-deactivated20220607]

I’ll never not reblog this, because it needs to be consistently said. 

[negusofficial]

He’s invited to the bbq & gets two to go plates

[myunrealisticfiction]

^ no. He’s just being a decent person. Stop rewarding people for doing the right thing

[thequeenadwoa]

👆🏾👆🏾 THANK YOU!! Fuck that cookout shit.

[chocoletd]

🤔

[niggitynice]

[90svigilante-deactivated2018022]

😂😂

[aaliyah-apollonia-deactivated20]

This is so black lol what happen to this guy?

[grandpaq]

I’m crying 😂

[amerikkkanpie-deactivated201903]

Funny af

[jaeswavy]

😂😂😂 🗣 bring back Def Comedy Jam and Def Poetry!!

[grandmaster-jon]

Black as hell!! LOL

[noushxx]

I gotta reblog this again

[tay-the-creator]

The niggatry at its finest💀😂🤦🏾‍♀️ I live for it

[chocoletd]

😂😂😂