Hello, everyone! I mentioned in a previous post of mine that I planned to post a new Kamilah x MC story before the new BloodBound chapter is released. So, here it is! I hope that you all like it! :)
The setting of this story takes place after the meeting with the Five of Japan.
You sit on the bed of your chosen room at Takeshi’s penthouse suite. You absentmindedly clutch the soft comforter as your mind begins to wander.
You think of the Rheya and the impending doom that will surely come should you fail to stop her. You involuntarily swallow as you imagine the drastic consequences of such failure.
You then think of Gaius and automatically shudder as your mind relives the memory of your death at his hands. But you also can’t help but wonder at the vulnerability hidden behind his monstrous surface.
You then think of Kamilah… of how you and she went through so much together. And of how deep your feeling for her ran…
You also think of Aiko Nakamura and how Kamilah openly admitted to having a fling with her so carelessly. You then think of Gaius again and then of Serafine….
As an agitated feeling makes your chest ache, you force yourself to stop your train of thought. It’s not until you hear the tearing of fabric that you realize that your fingers actually ripped through the fabric of the comforter.
You sigh wearily and let go of the punctured cloth.
The sound of a knock then reaches your ears.
Upon hearing her voice, you automatically straighten your back and stare directly at the night sky beyond the floor-to-ceiling window.
You clear your throat before responding. “Yeah?”
The door opens and closes before you sense Kamilah approaching you. She stands at the foot of the bed - as if waiting for you turn your head to greet her.
After a silent second, the older vampire moves to sit beside you. Yet, you keep your eyes trained on the starry sky.
“Amy?” She calls out to you softly.
From the corner of your eye, you notice Kamilah’s eyes widen almost imperceptibly at the curtness of your voice.
“I… just wanted to see how you’re feeling.”
“I’m fine. Thanks for asking.” You say a little too quickly. You internally wince and curse yourself for being too obvious.
As expected, Kamilah is clearly unconvinced. “Amy…” she lifts one hand to touch your cheek.
But before she can, you immediately stand to move to the window. Although your back is turned to her, you can sense her shock at your abruptness.
“I said that I’m fine.” You say again, hoping that she’ll take the hint.
It’s clear that she has no plans of doing so when she moves towards you. “You’re clearly not okay.” She steps to the window so that you’re standing side-by-side. You still refuse to look at her even though her head is turned to yours.
Kamilah lets a few silent moments pass until she speaks again. “Will you tell me what’s wrong?” She prompts, her tone concerned.
You mentally debate whether or not this is the right time to bring it up. You eventually decide that now is as good as any considering the circumstances.
You sigh as you continue to stare at the dark horizon. "You said that vampires have flings every century or so because they get bored..." You begin, still looking forward.
You pause. And you can sense that Kamilah is waiting for you to finish. A minute lapses before you speak again. "So, what does that make me? Another... fling?" Your voice cracks at the last moment.
As you silently pull yourself together, you sense her stiffen momentarily. A few seconds later, you feel her fully turn toward you. You crane your head and see her looking at you with completely widened eyes.
"No..." she starts to say, her voice colored with subdued shock. "... of course not. You are much more to me than that, Amy." She starts to reach for your hand... but you move it away from her grasp.
Both Kamilah's outstretched arm and expression fall at your rejection.
You bite your lip to calm yourself. "Oh, really?" You manage to straighten your tone again. You exhale before continuing. "Do you remember before I left for Paris? We went to your office together. And on the way, you told me that I'm the first person you've been within a century. And that I should know that that means something..."
You then cross your arms in front of your chest. "When you said that, I felt... special." You clench your own biceps even more tightly. "I felt like I meant something to you. But literally, just about an hour ago, you said that vampires have flings every century because of boredom. And then we both just met another ex of yours - a pretty, rich and powerful ex who may or may not still have the hots for you. And well ..." You finally look at her as you wave one hand around aimlessly as if to wrap up your statement.
A pained look settles on Kamilah's face. She bows her head as she takes a breath. She keeps her head down for a moment before raising it to look at you.
You train your eyes away from her again.
"Amy..." she steps towards you. As she raises her hands and hovers them tentatively over your shoulders, you take a step back. "Don't. Just don't right now." You mumble.
Kamilah's arms fall down back to her sides.
"I --"she struggles with her words for a brief second before clearing her throat. "I'm sorry." She finally manages. "I'm sorry for what I said. It was thoughtless and careless of me. I should've been more considerate of you."
You smirk sardonically. "Hmph. Maybe you should have. But then again, when we first met, you admitted to having had a lot of lovers. So that doesn't make what you said about vampire flings any less true, does it?”
From your periphery, you see the older vampire flinch at your remark. A tense silence fills the air. "... No. It doesn't." She finally admits.
You give a derisive laugh at your ironic victory. "Ha. I thought so."
The agitated feeling in your chest begins to grow, and you breathe in an attempt to quell it. But it eventually grows into a raging storm of emotions – you feel as if it's threatening to shatter you. You try to choke back a sob and roughly press your hand against your mouth.
Tears eventually fall from eyes as you try to take a breath. “After everything we went through together…. All the personal and intimate moments. The fact that you Turned me because you said that you didn't want to lose me…” you try to wipe away the tears as they come.
“… All of those things should be enough to give me a sense of security about our relationship. But… they…they aren't!” You start to cry freely. “For some reason, they aren't! And… now I'm feeling upset and jealous because you and your ex have a vibe going!” You rub at your tear-streaked eyes in frustration.
You then finally look at Kamilah and see shock and hurt on her features. “I… don’t know about this anymore, Kamilah!” You hastily rub your wet cheeks. “You can make me feel as if I’m the only one you see. But at the same time, both your past and your actions give me mixed signals!”
You sniffle and sob at the same time. “I accept your past, Kamilah. But somehow, it always manages to bite me in the ass!”
A tense silence fills the room. For what seems like an agonizing eternity, Kamilah can only stare and gape at you. A myriad of emotions flashes in her eyes as the gravity of your outburst settles. Your frustrated sobbing soon calms down to silent weeping.
The older vampire finally moves – she closes her eyes as if to reflect, before taking a deep breath. When she opens them, her gaze is anxious and uncertain.
“A…amy.” She calls to you, her voice a soft whisper.
Without a word, you move to sit on the bed and bow your head – too tired and numb to even give her a response.
Kamilah approaches you tentatively. When you show no signs of wanting to move away, she sits down next to you.
"I..." She hesitates and pauses. From the corner of your eye, you see her rubbing her thumb against her palm – a telling sign of nervousness. “I… I want to explain." She stops as if waiting for you to retort. When you remain quiet, she continues.
"Let me explain, Amy... Please."
Your raise your head at the last word and finally look at her – unable to believe it. You see the vulnerability you just heard in her usually calm voice clearly reflected in her eyes. The shock stills you for a long moment.
The older vampire seems unsettled by your lack of response. “Please.” She says again, her tone pleading.
Kamilah is actually begging you to listen.
You thought that you would never hear that word from her outside the bedroom.
You continue to look at her in surprise, unsure of what to say or do. You take in the weakness she allowed to break through her walls. A fragile and sad woman stands in place of the fearsome and proud warrior you’ve come to know.
Kamilah sighs, relieved. She clenches her hands together as if to brace herself for what she’s about to say.
Moments pass by before she speaks. “I thought that I loved Gaius.” She begins, her voice just above a whisper. “But I realized that I was merely manipulated by him. He turned me into the worst version of myself.”
She shuts her eyes tightly as she continues. “But that doesn't change the fact that at one point in time, I was a monster. And that I was devoted to him, in a sick and twisted way.
“We had... what you would call an 'open relationship.' We had no qualms about each other seeking out the company of others. And... I was actually thankful for that. I sometimes sought out other people for amusement. But over the course of several centuries, I found myself yearning for something else. Something that he couldn't give me. So, I had lovers.”
When she opens her eyes again, she immediately looks away, as if ashamed. “But I always went back to him. I think it's because I felt tied to him and that I'll always be tied to him no matter what. And he always went back to me.”
“But after nearly two millennia of bloodshed, I started to become disillusioned with the life I had been living. I slowly stopped enjoying needless violence. Eventually, I grew tired and sick of it. I guess I have Adrian and his goodness to thank for that.” The corners of her mouth quirk upwards at the mention of her blood-brother. “Somehow, someway, I resonated with his compassion.”
“When we moved to America, I felt like it was a chance for me to be a better person. But I was still with Gaius during that time, so for the sake of keeping up appearances, I played along. But in reality, I no longer enjoyed partaking in his monstrous activities.
“A part of me wanted to leave Gaius back then. But another part of me told me to stay with him for two reasons: the first was because of the history we had together… and the second was because…” She trails off, and you notice the slight tremble of her hands. “…he would probably execute me for even thinking of leaving him.”
Suddenly, her voice hardens. “But in the 1920s, Gaius went too far.” You see her hands close into fists. “He planned to virtually eliminate all humans save for a few thousand who would be drugged to serve as bloodstock for us. I could no longer just stand by. So, I decided to help the other Council members take him down and imprison him.”
Her fists then unclench as she sighs wearily, the burdens of the past obviously weighing heavily on her mind. “When we succeeded, I... didn't know what to feel. I felt relief, sadness, and anger all at the same time. I was relieved because Gaius was stopped. I was sad because, despite everything, the fact remains that Gaius and I still had a history together. I was angry because I hadn't acted sooner and because I had been blind for so long.”
The Egyptian vampire raises her hands to rub her face tiredly. “I eventually realized that I hated myself. I hated how evil I was. How I caused so much pain and suffering.
“So, I decided to try to atone for my sins. From that day and onwards, I denied myself any true happiness because I deserved none of it. How could I? I was a monster.”
She pauses as if to let the weight of her words of reflection sink in.
“For an entire century, I had been leading an isolated existence – devoid of any true happiness.” She speaks with an air of resignation while looking at the polished floor of the room. “My relationship with Adrian was a small piece of salvation. But at the end of each day, I was alone.”
She then raises her eyes to meet yours. “… until I met you.”
You feel your heart thump almost painfully against your chest as Kamilah looks at you with amazement, tenderness, and yearning.
“Before I met you, I thought that I would live the rest of my existence alone and without any kind of happiness until the end of time. I was trapped in a darkness of my own making… But you came into my life and lit the way to a better and brighter path." Her voice, which was weighed down with anguish, is now uplifted with a quiet joy.
“You are a kind, beautiful, and brave soul who drew me in. You saw me for who I am and accepted all of me. You showed me that there's still hope in this world. I meant what I said before, Amy. You are the most remarkable person that I know. You are my greatest miracle.”
Kamilah slowly reaches for your hands. This time, you don’t pull away.
She grasps them in hers, and you feel the warmth of her gentle touch. "… And the greatest love of my life.”
Your heart soars at her declaration, and you feel as if you're flying. You feel tears form in your eyes again.
“It's true that I've had lovers. But none of them could ever compare to you, my firefly. I love you, Amy. With all that I am and all that I have.” Kamilah’s voice is raw with solemn devotion and passion.
You gasp as she moves from the bed to kneel in front of you – all the while keeping your gaze.
“I told you back at Elias's vineyard that if you would accept me, I'm ready to be yours. So... the question is... will you have me?”
You take in the sight of her – kneeling and bearing her heart out. The tears start to stream down your cheeks freely. You feel as if you’re dreaming.
"Ka... Kamilah..." you begin shakily.
You slowly kneel down to meet her eyes. The earnestness and vulnerability in them are as clear as day.
You take an unsteady breath. "You... you have no idea how badly I wanted to hear that." You sniffle. "How badly I needed to hear that."
Kamilah's lips curve into a sad and remorseful smile. "I... I should have told you sooner."
Amidst your tears, you manage a small laugh. You frame her face with your hands, and she leans into the touch. You stroke the sides of her face with your thumbs. "Of course, I'll have you." You lean closer. "I love you too." Your voice is heavy and thick with emotion. "I love you so much."
A bright and beautiful smile graces Kamilah's features. "I love you, my firefly. And I vow to always stand by you and protect you."
You feel warmth and happiness bloom inside of you – the joy rejuvenates your entire being. You giggle uncontrollably and lean in even closer until your forehead is resting against hers.
"Kiss me, Kamilah." You whisper against her lips.
She gladly obliges, and you meet together in a soft and heated kiss. You wrap your arms around her, and she pulls you closer by your waist. Your tongues brush together sensually, and you moan into her mouth. You eagerly press yourself against her – wanting your every sense to be engulfed with her. Kamilah slides one hand down from your side and down your thigh until it reaches behind your knee.
You break away momentarily to look at each other - you're both breathless from the intensity of your shared kiss. Kamilah's gaze is smoldering, but at the same time, her eyes are alight with love and devotion. You feel your already flushed face become warmer at her potent gaze.
"I love you, Amy." She declares once again, her voice gentle and solemn. "I am so sorry for not saying so sooner. And for making you think and feel otherwise."
You move one hand from her neck to hold the side of her face. "Hey. Better late than never, right?" You jest to lighten the mood. Your effort is rewarded with a light chuckle from the older vampire.
"But all jokes aside," you say while caressing the side of her chin, "I'm just glad to finally hear that you feel the same way."
Kamilah turns her head to press a kiss to the side of your hand. "I do feel the same way. And I always will. No matter what."
Your smile widens as your chest flutters again. "I'm going to hold you to that."
