‘ let’s just say some brutal murders happened in there which would lends itself into being haunted. ’
‘ give that baby a ball. ’
‘ why is it only people who get murdered? why doesn’t someone who choked on a peanut get a ghost? ’
‘ you know, people don’t like their stepmothers. ’
‘ so you think like 90% of people who have stepmothers are like ‘aw, my stepmother… i’d love to bury an axe in her face.’ ’
‘ that is fucking awful. ’
‘ that’s strange because, if your pa is laying there, his head turned into blood oatmeal, and you hear ma come in, you’re probably not just like, ‘oh, i wonder what she’s up to today.’ you’re probably like, ‘hey ma, you should probably come here.’ not just, ‘oh i wonder if she’s gonna go take a little nap.’ ’
‘ i’ve got a life-changing thing to tell you here. ’
‘ we should probably give her a little holler. ’
‘ i mean, maybe she’s just thinking back on the good old mutton days. ’
‘ it reminds me of downton abbey a little bit. it’s very proper. ’
‘ i feel like a little fancy little lord in this room. ’
‘ i’m not doing this because i want to steal. ’
‘ i’m doing this because i want to give the ghosts significant reason to haunt me. i want them to be upset with me. ’
‘ i stole from you, you hear me?! ’
‘ cool….. that’s pretty… cool. ’
‘ if people were already like, ‘we think you murdered them’ i’d be like, ‘fine, i guess i’ll spend their money.’ ’
‘ i’d like to see you put on a dress from that time period– that came out weird, i could’ve worded that better. ’
‘ we’re sleeping here. we can’t even run away! ’
‘ she’s gonna kill us tonight. ’
‘ come on, buddy. times-a-tickin’. show up. murder us. be the first ghost to murder someone in history. we’ll get it on film. you’ll be famous. ’
‘ just say something. you don’t have to get violent. ’
‘ those are four pieces of circumstantial evidence that make him just as much of a suspect, in my mind. ’
‘ both of them seem dubious as hell, that’s all i’m saying. ’
‘ but you know me… i’m a fan of conspiracy theories. ’
‘ i was gonna say this doesn’t seem that crazy to me. ’
‘ wait, are we agreeing right now? ’
‘ i’m not saying ghosts are real, i’m just saying. ’
‘ can you imagine if you got sleep paralysis in this room? ’
‘ why would you fucking say that right before we’re about to sleep? ’
‘ dude, why would you say that? you know one of my greatest fears is a face staring at me through the window. ’
‘ even if we get possessed tonight, we can have a nice brewski after. ’
‘ well, i’m just trying to distract myself now. ’
‘ the late 1800′s was peak ghost time. 90% of ghosts are from that era. ’
‘ you never really hear about a ghost from 2010 or so that’s wearing like a flannel and ripped jeans or some shit like that. ’
‘ they’re followed by doom. ’
‘ they’re really just getting boned by fate now. ’
‘ do you think because you believe in all of this stuff that you have a higher chance of being a ghost? ’
‘ i’d be a pleasant ghost. i’d like pour people tea and stuff like that or i’d do chores around the house and i’d tip my hat and i’d tap dance out of the room. ’
‘ right, doesn’t that sound great? wouldn’t you like to be haunted by me? ’
‘ this is the sorrowful room. do you feel sorrowful in here? ’
‘ i’m fine with not talking too much to he because she scares me. ’
‘ i feel a little bit like i’m being watched, but i don’t mind it. ’
‘ oh fuck, dude. i feel really weird all the sudden. ’
‘ i don’t feel particularly strange, it’s just not a great chair. ’
‘ now that’s just rude. ’
‘ it’s kinda just a dick thing to do. ’
‘ how do you arrest a ghost? you can’t. ’
‘ you better watch out or the ghost of yankee jim will give you some taffy. some folks say they hear him playing a jolly little kazoo tune in the middle of the night. ’
‘ he’s not a ghost. that’s not a spooky enough name. ’
‘ if i were him, i’d haunt this place. ’
‘ let’s do it before i change my mind. let’s just do it. ’
‘ watch your language! ’
‘ well, you’re not a man of your word. ’
‘ it’s a nice sunset. enjoy it, it’s the last one you’re ever gonna see. ’
‘ you don’t think ‘the grey ghost’ is a pretty cool nickname? ’
‘ right, yeah, it’s a haunted ziplock bag. ’
‘ before that toothpaste hit the floor, i didn’t believe in ghosts. i thought this was all b.s. ’
‘ i swore i’d never return, but here i sit, like a freakin’ idiot. ’
‘ who stores laundry detergent in a gin bottle, though? ’
‘ by the way, i have a bottle of whiskey in my room if you wanna go drink it. ’
‘ that just fucking cut through that thing like a hot butter patty. ’
‘ ‘ugh’? that’s all you gotta say about that? ’
‘ boats are tough, ya’know? it’s not an easy life, the boat life.. ’
‘ are you scared right now? ’
‘ you’re not fucking scared right now? ’
‘ could it have been my imagination? of course. could it have been a spirit? well, maybe. ’
‘ i just think it’s embarrassing for them to drown in a pool… on a boat. ’
‘ it looks like it’d be pretty easy to get crushed to death here. ’
‘ a little seamen lubrication, huh? c’mon, that was funny. ’
‘ do i feel strange right here? yep, i don’t like it. ’
‘ okay, now i’m starting to get scared again. ’
‘ you’re really gonna hate this. ’
‘ i have a feeling i’m really gonna hate this. ’
‘ you’re gonna lose your mind. ’
‘ they laughed and told me i was an idiot to my face. ’
‘ i don’t think we’ve ever attempted something more idiotic than this. ’
‘ did you just fart? you piece of shit. ’
‘ oh crap, i’m starting to psych myself out again. ’
‘ i don’t know what you did. i’m angry again. ’
‘ what the fuck? it’s morning. ’
‘ she’s a beaut. you’re a beautiful lady. i love your bones. ’
‘ alright, approach it with an open mind. let’s get started. ’
‘ so this is just a bunch of hobos and rapscallions who were meeting down by the train tracks? ’
’ 28% of people believe in the existence of a new world order. ’
‘ 28% of people probably believe that the sun moves around the earth. ’
‘ well, i don’t have any scientific polls for that, so… ’
‘ i’m just sayin’ people are dumb! ’
‘ that’s not creepy? that didn’t make your spine tingle a little bit? ’
‘ oh, i can’t wait for that parade of other ‘experts’ you’ve got lined up. ’
‘ 4% believe that lizard people control our societies. ’
‘ xeroxing is not how cloning works! ’
‘ what are you, a clone expert now? ’
‘ i don’t believe you. i’ll fucken look it up right now. ’
‘ he looks like he just pooped his pants. ’
‘ the name of their child, blue ivy, has been interpreted to stand for ‘born living under evil illuminati’s very youngest.’ ’
‘ so this has just moved to… like, frat-level hazing? ’
‘ i am not in the illuminati, she is not in the illuminati… you may be. ’
‘ by the way, if the illuminati is a real thing, the fact that they have a public relations director… fucking amazing, right? ’
‘ i’m not saying that there’s lizard people– ah, fuck, i guess that is what i’m saying. ’
‘ what the hell are you talking about? you’re making this all up. ’
‘ what the fuck are we doing here? ’
‘ get our little detectives hat out. ’
‘ is this all in our mind? ’
‘ this could be the most elaborate delusion of all. ’
‘ these are true crime serial killer trading cards. ’
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