[choofighters]

Can’t believe it’s come to this but I have an inquiry with nowhere to turn but snzblr. Praying someone knows jack about this.

Holy TMI ok. Basically every time I get off I sneeze several times without fail and I feel like I can’t consult external sources about this without giving myself away. This happens whether I’m alone or with someone else.

I’ve seen people on here talk about like, a kink-induced mental block where they can’t sneeze around other people.

Is this also fetish related thing even though it feels entirely out of my control? Some sort of condition I’ve never heard of? Does anyone else do this? Is there anything to make it go away?

[choofighters]

God, they're so seamlessly affable. And you can tell from everyone's faces how pleased they are to talk to them. You watch as they make their rounds, drinking and chatting. You're outside speaking to a mutual friend when they come to join you both.

"Hi." They breathe the word at you as they sidle up to your friend's side. There's an almost imperceptible crackling sound on the 'h' that betrays a kind of moistness. They swallow and their throat bobs. You notice the flush across their neck. They're holding a near-empty glass.

"Someone's having a fun night," your friend observes with no real bite. They give a little shimmy and smile; utter personification of shamelessness.

They open their mouth, to say something to you it seems. Instead, their nose twinges and they reach forward to put a hand on your shoulder, as if to offer you support. You stiffen. Haphazardly they bring their other arm to hover in front of still-parted lips, unaware but certainly not impolite.

They snag a swooping breath. Under their sweater you see the swell of their chest. They crumple with a sneeze, and it's noisy but not too loud, unrestrained and almost healthy-sounding in its unabashedness.

"hhH-yYnNTZzSh'YOo!" Their hand trembles where it rests but doesn't tighten. It was aimed slightly downwards, in the space between the two of you. They straighten, sniffling, beaming like nothing happened, moving their hand down to cup your elbow, giving it a pat. They chuckle very softly, but whatever congestion that's been brought forward makes it sound like they're going "ha ha ha" and--fuck, if that isn't the cutest thing you've ever heard, actually.

"Sorry," they mention, while your friend rubs their shoulder, snickering, and you fight the heat suddenly winning the battle towards your complexion.

"...No sweat."

[choofighters]

GUYS. Sneezing on call? Sneezing on FaceTime? I feel like especially since a lot meaningful connections and friendships for people with this kink are formed online, these moments/tropes deserve ALL the love. Not only is it just adorable, but it can come with so many variations.

For instance:

Do they mute themselves? Move away from the speaker in an attempt to spare whoever they’re talking to from their outburst?

Or perhaps they remain right where they are, one hand already preoccupied with their phone and the other scrubbing at their nose. Do they sneeze openly? Right into the speaker? What does that say about them as a character?

The same thing goes for video calls. Do they shift out of the camera’s view, so that all that can be seen is a trembling shoulder, but the sneeze is still completely audible, if not even more so?

Or the exact opposite, perhaps they fumble to mute themselves but sneeze completely on camera, the low graphics potentially exaggerating a light spray?

Maybe they do neither, sneezing on full display once, twice, three times! 

And of course because it’s a phone call, the person on the other end can only watch and listen. Maybe they hear things they wouldn’t have noticed before; the desperation of a hitch, the audible wetness on the end of a “n’TsCHieWw!”, the liquid sniffle that follows.

Do they have the kink? Are they struggling to stay composed themselves, surreptitiously holding the speaker right up against their ear in an attempt to hear every last detail?

Maybe they’re a vanilla, happy to offer many blessings and affections, as well as some comments/observations on allergy/cold season  

When I say the possibilities are endless, I mean endless. Not to mention the inherent realism of this situation. Like, look me in the eyes and tell me you’ve never sneezed on the phone at least once hehe

[choofighters]

A and B step into the parking lot, and it’s the warmest day of the year so far. Outside the grass is tall and almost too green. White flecks of dandelion bristles speckle the breeze.

In the car A keys the engine.

“It’s snowing,” they say in good humour with a grin. B turns away from A towards the window and crushes a near silent stifle, their arms shielding them in a protective, jerking gesture.

“hh-Npgxxt! nhh…” They sniffle. It’s surprisingly drawn out, the sound textured. B cringes and scowls.

“..That ain’t snow.” They murmur.

[choofighters]

Guys. Sneezing on call? Sneezing on FaceTime? I feel like especially since a lot of meaningful connections and friendships for people with this kink are formed online, these moments/tropes deserve all the love. Not only is it just adorable, but it can come with so many variations.

For instance:

Do they mute themselves? Move away from the speaker in an attempt to spare whoever they’re talking to from their outburst?

Or perhaps they remain right where they are, one hand already preoccupied with their phone and the other scrubbing at their nose. Do they sneeze openly? Right into the speaker? What does that say about them as a character?

The same thing goes for video calls. Do they shift out of the camera’s view, so that all that can be seen is a trembling shoulder, but the sneeze is still completely audible, if not even more so?

Or the exact opposite, perhaps they fumble to mute themselves but sneeze completely on camera, the low graphics potentially exaggerating a light spray?

Maybe they do neither, sneezing on full display once, twice, three times! 

And of course because it’s a phone call, the person on the other end can only watch and listen. Maybe they hear things they wouldn’t have noticed before; the desperation of a hitch, the audible wetness on the end of a “n’TsCHieWw!”, the liquid sniffle that follows.

Do they have the kink? Are they struggling to stay composed themselves, surreptitiously holding the speaker right up against their ear in an attempt to hear every last detail?

Maybe they’re a vanilla, happy to offer many blessings and affections, as well as some comments/observations on allergy/cold season  

When I say the possibilities are endless, I mean endless. Not to mention the inherent realism of this situation. Like, look me in the eyes and tell me you’ve never sneezed on the phone at least once hehe