in light;

Decide what to be and go be it. Christopher. Twenty. UCD.

[christopherradcliffe]

roselinewynters‌:

her initial instinct was to sass ; but she needed pants, and he was the closest to the rack. “yeah, chris. didn’t you?” wasn’t he…- away? attending a school that wasn’t the walt disney hellhole that everyone came to hate? this made no goddamn sense. “that’ll do. anything will do.”

“Yeah, but I went to bed in my bedroom at home... Must have been a weird fucking dream.” He frowned, throwing her a pair on the closest rack. “You went to sleep here? On the floor of the merch store?” 

[christopherradcliffe]

cfselcouth‌:

“ you seem the type. “ she’d never be. alva was the one hitting. when she got hit, it was by things like fists, and it was usually result of her words. “ we have literally never been on the same team. a dome isn’t changing that. “ she eyed the bat with suspicion.  

Chris knew better than to respond - nothing good could come of that conversation. “Yeah, well.... believe whatever the fuck you want, but I want out, and that’s not going to happen if we’re bludgeoning each other to death.”

[christopherradcliffe]

undcrlings‌:

benjamin scoffed, folding his arms across his chest as he glared at his younger brother, “it’s not like i fucking asked to be here,” he spat, anger present in his tone. there wasn’t a lot to be excited about, but the one thing that had lifted his spirits was the chance to reconnect with his younger brother, which had obviously been a foolish thought. “nice to see you too, chris.”

Christopher probably should have been expecting Ben’s attitude - they rarely fought as children, but when they had, it was always Chris who conceded first and apologized, regardless of what happened or who’s fault it was. “Yeah, exactly.” Chris hadn’t exactly come to WDA out of his own volition either, but this was the first time they had seen each other in over a year.  I missed you, ran through Chris’s head, but instead: “You never want to be where I am.”

[christopherradcliffe]

“Why in god’s name are you here?” If there was one person who Chris least expected to show up to this pity party, it was Ben. He had never been there when Chris needed him, so why now? Why here?

@undcrlings

[christopherradcliffe]

CHRISTOPHER RADCLIFFE is TWENTY years old and a JUNIOR at UNiVERSITY COLLEGE DISNEY. He is the son of ROGER and ANITA RADCLIFFE. Originally from LONDON, he now lives at UCD. Since he left WDA:

Christopher left WDA an introverted, anxious, and severely depressed young man. He has come a long way.

He took a gap year before starting college, where he worked at home and travelled the world with his brother, Ben.

Other than that gap year, Chris hasn’t really seen Ben much. His leaving still hurts.

He’s come into himself a lot more. He’s more confident and for once, really likes who he is as a person. 

Although he’s more willing to stand up for himself, Chris is also more cautious about who he trusts.

Chris loves college. He wants to become a chemist or an aerospace engineer, and is working towards a degree in both.

Read his bio here

[cfselcouth]

alva’s not in the mood to talk. “ have you ever been hit with a lacrosse stick ? “ she narrows her eyes, swings the crosse until its leaning against her shoulder. “ FOLLOW UP: would you like to be ? “

[christopherradcliffe]

“I have actually, so you don’t scare me.” Chris rolled his eyes, remembering a not so fond memory from high school. “besides, we’re all on the same team here.” His voice was nice enough, but the baseball bat clutched in his hand told a different story all together.

[roselinewynters]

“shit-” it was the first word out of her mouth as she started awake, the gravity of the situation taking little time to sink in. she had been on her honeymoon. she and carter had been…- doing what people on their honeymoon DID. and whatever had happened ; where she was, now - rose was there sans a stitch of clothing. she was in a giftstore, that much she knew from the fact that as quickly as she registered the situation, she was able to move in behind a rack ; just in time for the door to swing open, and for someone else to enter. so. it could get worse. taking stock of her surroundings and realizing she was near enough to some sweaters ( wda was emblazoned on their chests, but that didn’t make SENSE- ), she cleared her throat and made her presence known with a softly spoken, “could you- uh- maybe, perhaps, throw me over a pair of pants?” 

[christopherradcliffe]

“Did you just-- wake up there?” Christopher asked, rummaging through the coat-rack filled with sweatpants -all with WDA or Walt Disney Academy written down the side. He would have embraced her or said hi or something but it was all too weird.  “Size small?”

[benjamin-radcliffe-blog]

[jennyxrad]:

Christopher couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable as his siblings talked over his bedside. He felt funny, but couldn’t describe it. They were paying more attention to him than they had ever done, and he knew it was just because of the situation he had gotten himself into. But their efforts for conversation were mostly fruitless, as Christopher was barely listening, his eyes glued to the ceiling, letting their voices go in one ear and out another and wondering why he had been too scared to go through with it. Shying away from Jen’s touch, Chris avoided making eye contact with either of his siblings, not wanting to engage either of them in conversation.

Blood getting hot, Jen turned on her older brother and her hand moved so quickly to slap him in the face that one might have only recognized it as a slap by the sound. “Don’t you dare tell me to shut up, Benjamin. Where the hell have you been this entire time? Fucking some guy’s brains out, getting so high that you don’t even know where you are, diving from some cliff into a lake just so that your sad and directionless life will feel thrilling for just a moment? Fine, you’re immortal, who cares if you spend a few years in the middle of nowhere? You’re not wasting your life, but you’re wasting ours. It’s obvious that our parents aren’t going to take care of this mental child here,” she waved at Chris’s bed without looking at him, “but who says you can’t? None of us are going to live forever, Ben, so who says once we bite the dust you can’t go back to your disgustingly lax way of life?! Do you realize as much as I hate school i’m still in it? Do you realize that I dropped important things to come here to see how he was doing? You, Ben, are the number one most selfish person I have ever met, and I can’t believe you actually have the audacity to tell me to shut up, when all i’m doing is worrying about Chris?!”

Ben looks down at Chris and nearly melts, he can’t stand seeing him like this it’s just not natural. “I’m sorry buddy”he tells him. He winces as he feels Jen’s slap across his face, “Oh because you’re really helping in this situation Jen”he retorts, “Calling it stupid? That’s a great way to boost confidence, I’m sure that it’s exactly what Chris wants to hear”he says with a sigh as he takes a step towards his sister, the anger boiling up inside. There’s a reason he does’t get along with his family he forgot about it until now. “Mental child”he says quietly, “Listen to yourself, you don’t care about him”he says to her, “You act like you do”he continues, “But you don’t”. “And don’t start, you have never been in my position, the worst thing I could be doing is living my normal life-because that consists of drinking, heartbreak, anger, depression- and we’ve all seen how well that turns out”he hisses, “And last time I checked, I’m here. I’ve always been here for Chris, and you know it.”

[christopherradcliffe]

Christopher wanted to smack both of them, but he was so tired of their bickering that it felt pointless to step in. Not to mention Christopher was currently in a hospital bed with an IV in his arm, making getting up rather difficult. He was also just mentally tired, and frustrated. Ignoring Ben’s gesture towards him, Christopher remained motionless. How could they do this? They were just like his parents, meaning well but getting caught up in themselves. “I’m sorry,” was all Chris could bring himself to say, in a tone barely more audible than a whisper.

[benjamin-radcliffe-blog]

[jennyxrad]:

@benjamin-radcliffe @christopherradcliffe

“As much as I hate seeing you here of all places…” Jen declared, walking into the hospital room, her eyes lying on her brother sitting up in his bed. She had visited the day before as well, but because of her flight she had gotten there pretty late and Chris had been sleeping. “…It’s good to see you didn’t succeed in your stupid, selfish endeavor to take your own life and torture your poor sister on the phone as you did so. If you didn’t look so completely pathetic in that bed, I would have the right mind to slap you.” Instead, she walked to his bedside and kissed his cheek, laying her head on top of his brown hair. “You fucking scared me, Christopher Radcliffe.”

“Shut up Jen”Benjamin mumbles as he listens to his sister, “You’re not helping”he adds as he runs his fingers through his hair. “But, it is glad to talk to you Chris”he says with a small smile as he moves over to stand next to his brother’s bed. “I know I should probably visit more, and trust me I’ll work on it. But in the mean time, I have souvenirs?”he offers as he holds up a bag. He’s awful in these situations, and honestly he just wants to run and hide but he knows he needs to step up and be the big brother as much as he just wants to be the little brother. “I didn’t get any for Jen of course”he says with a laugh, “Just for you”

[christopherradcliffe]

Christopher couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable as his siblings talked over his bedside. He felt funny, but couldn’t describe it. They were paying more attention to him than they had ever done, and he knew it was just because of the situation he had gotten himself into. But their efforts for conversation were mostly fruitless, as Christopher was barely listening, his eyes glued to the ceiling, letting their voices go in one ear and out another and wondering why he had been too scared to go through with it. Shying away from Jen’s touch, Chris avoided making eye contact with either of his siblings, not wanting to engage either of them in conversation.

[jennyxrad]

his lips finally made contact with her skin after never ending moments of hovering and breathing over it, silently satisfied with the natural reaction her body was giving him. ash pressed small kisses up her neck, making sure to take his sweet time before moving up to the spot behind her ear then down to her jaw. “people never do what they should,” one hand slid up from her waist to the bare skin of her stomach, ash finding himself needing to feel his skin against hers.

Jen closed her eyes, letting her other senses take over. His smell, for once not putrid, mixed with her own fragrance each time she breathed. His lips pressing up against her skin felt like they should have been there a lot sooner, only make each contact point feel like it was sizzling. She felt her face heat up, no doubt extremely red already. When he paused to speak, that was the point that Jen abandoned all common sense. If she had any doubt about it before, it was immediately trashed and there was no going back. Turning around, Jen placed both of her hands on each side of his face, palms sensing the rough skin beneath, as she leaned in and made lip contact.

[christopherradcliffe]

[christopherradcliffe]

call -- Jen

Jennifer: Oh my god, fucking shit Christopher [Jen's voice was filled with panic, her thumbs now shaking even worse because of the rising desperation in her brother's voice] I can't even use my phone, what did you do?! Chris keep talking to me, don't you dare stop talking just keep talking, you need to stop the bleeding. Find- find some thing to stop it [Jen felt her eyes sting] Fuck- oh god, okay, i'm calling the police and an ambulance, just stay put, alright? [She hit the emergency speed dial number.]

Christopher: I'm so sorry. [Christopher was quiet for a second, the only sound his sobbing breaths] I-I cut myself, I'm sorry... [Christopher drew a sharp breath inward] Jen no! You can't! Please- please. They'll take me away, I can't go back there. Please don't! Please... [Christopher whispered, shaking violently. Vaguely remembering something about stopping the bleeding, he fumbled with pressing his sheets to his hands, unfortunately not actually doing much to stop the bleeding]

[christopherradcliffe]

call -- Jen

Jennifer: Oh my god [Jen's heart began to beat harder, and she ran her hand through her hair over and over, the hand holding the phone beginning to shake a little.] Where's mum? Is she home? Or dad? Are you alone, Chris? If you are, uhm- go- go find one of the dogs. Sit with Lucky, you need to not be alone, okay? Sit with Lucky, and then talk to me. [Jen put the phone on speaker and then, thumbs shaking and hardly able to push buttons, began to fiercely text her parents, and then the local police around her house.]

Christopher: I-I don't know where mum or dad are... I-I'm scared Jen. I'm so scared... [Christopher sinks down onto his bed, before noticing the blood seeping onto the sheets, sending a new wave of panic through him] My wrists are bleeding, Jen you have to help me, help me! [Christopher's intense shock makes it seem as if his wrists have come as a surprise.]

[christopherradcliffe]

call -- Jen

Jennifer: [Jen picked up the phone with an air of annoyance somewhere around the word 'alone', and hearing the tone in her little brother's voice instantly made her heart feel like lead] Chris what are you talking about- hold- hold on [there was a shuffling sound on her end and then the sound of a door closing] What are you on about?

Christopher: [he was panicking now, leaning against his bed for support, his chest heaving up and down] I-I thought I was better, I really did.. I just- I want it all to end.. [through tears, Christopher glanced down at his wrists and shuddered]

[christopherradcliffe]

call -- Jen

Christopher: [as the phone rings, Chris paces in his room, his breathing quick and his steps becoming increasingly more panicky] Jen? Jen-- Please pick up! [His voice is shaky, as it rings once, then twice, and then Christopher just starts talking] I need your help, I-I can't reach Ben and I'm home alone and I thought I was better, I was better but I'm not and I'm so scared, oh my god please be there I-- [Christopher breaks off as his words mix with hysteria and sobs]

[christopherradcliffe]

📞Call ->Christopher

Jennifer: Okay, this school is not as exciting as I remember it, and i'm honestly pissed that i'm the only Radcliffe still trapped here. I mean, you're home and Ben is off doing who knows what with who knows who. Knowing him, he's having a shit ton more fun than I am watching these cows sitting around drooling, and chewing their cud. I hope you're having a blast and a half because god knows i'm not. *Jen took a deep breath, letting out a sigh audible over the phone.* But seriously, how are you? Provide me with something before I go completely insane.

Christopher: Jen- Oh, really? To be perfectly honest, it always seemed like you wanted to get away from us. I-I'm okay. Nothing much ever happens in my life, though, so I don't really have anything to tell you. It's been a long time, I didn't realize you even wanted to talk to me ever again..

[christopherradcliffe]

GOODBYE MY SWEET SUMMER CHILD ;

wake me up - avicii | head full of doubt/road full of promise - the avett brothers | silouette - owl city | born to die - lana del ray | be ok - ingrid michaelson | way back home - prince | the longer I run - peter bradley adams | fight song - rachel platten | yesterday - the beatles | story of my life - one direction | silhouettes - of monsters and men | here comes goodbye  - rascal flatts | home - phillip phillips | dont ask me why - great caesar | here comes the sun - the beatles 

[christopherradcliffe]