Twit Beyond Measure

I'm Shivani. When I'm not running with scissors, I can be found judging books by their covers. I also frequently call roses by other names, then check if they smell just as sweet.

[shitpostgenerator]

pasta fucks

[schrodingers-blursed-kitty]

I believe they call themselves “Italians”

[shittymoviedetails]

In Taylor Swift’s 2017 song “Look What You Made Me Do”, she says “I’ll be the actress starring in your bad dreams.” This is foreshadowing to her role in Cats (2019), which will give all its viewers nightmares.

[catasters]

[toobasementpanda]

I dream of this sort of bed-to-body ratio

[catasters]

[you-had-me-at-hallow]

Oh look, I found a summary of the entire Harry Potter series:

[bucketofchum]

Pros and Cons about making art

Pros:

Art

Cons: 

Making

[demilypyro]

Doesn’t matter how morally just a post is, how funny it is, or how important it is. Some posts are just too long.

[mens-rights-activia]

- Pope Leo X, 1517, regarding Martin Luther’s 95 theses

[johnnyjoestarrelatable]

this is typical from alabama but the fucking wording of this lmfao

[chronically-sardonic]

christina-dh‌:

angelofgrace96‌:

pulmonary-poultry‌:

brawltogethernow‌:

avengerwho‌:

earendil-was-a-mariner‌:

Ironic that Bilbo is so annoyed with the Sackville-Bagginses for stealing from him and trying to evict him from his house, when his whole adventure involves stealing from someone and evicting them from their house.  

To be fair, he was essentially helping someone else get rid of their own Sackville-Bagginses

This is an absolutely world-rocking take on narrative parallels in The Hobbit. Like why yes those were equally petty property disputes, and your point?

Thorin: “The dragon Smaug is terrible beast who has invaded our home and taken the heirlooms of our people as his loot.”

Bilbo: *remembering the last time Lobelia Sackville-Baggins was in his house* “I know the type.”

[kelgrid]

I’m at my dog sitting job in a pretty old countryside farm and the lady who does the cleaning up here told me this morning that there are old tunnels (now closed up) running from the house to the church (1km) and I did not want to know that

[kelgrid]

Imagine what could come from there? Ghouls, ghosts, vampires?

[kelgrid]

[shittymoviedetails]

Best character arc ever

[makingfunofthestarks]

[sarahconnorjr]

[chubbycattumbling]

CAT ARMOUR

[somecutething]

[myjetpack]

for the @guardian review

[cikero]

is there anything better than kissing a cat’s soft belly

[gothraccoon-deactivated20211114]

kissing a sleeping cats soft little forehead and hearing them go brrrrrb?

[cikero]

god you’re so right

[aura-eden]

Claude Monet