Okay so you really think about it, Labyrinth is one of the most bonkers movies out there. Like, it’s directed by Jim Henson. Produced by George Lucas. The original script was written by Monty Python’s Terry Jones. And that’s just the production team! The central plot is kicked off when some random girl half jokingly asks goblins to take away her baby step brother- and not only do these goblins exist, but they actually listen! Because apparently David Bowie just likes to kidnap children now and is also the king of the goblins. Speaking of David Bowie, is Labyrinth a musical? Because yeah there’s random songs, but all but one are just sung by David Bowie doing evil goblin king things and I feel like they’re more there because it’s David Bowie and he wanted to sing stuff.
The CGI is all absolutely garbage. The practical visual effects are actually really good. There’s the most impressive puppetry you’ll ever see. The entirety of the labyrinth is covered in glitter. This is just accepted apparently, since none of the characters even comment on it. Actually, several things are just unexplained. Like that Ludo the big beast/yeti thing has the ability to sing to rocks. Is he controlling the rocks, or do they come to his aid? Are the rocks sentient? Another character, Sir Didymus, is literally an anthropomorphic dog who for some reason has the mannerisms of an English knight and rides an ordinary sheepdog named Ambrosius. And for some reason David Bowie knows him by name? Like he specifically mentions Didymus by name, despite the fact that he doesn’t know Hoggle OR Ludo’s names (and he has even met Hoggle several times at this point). Are we just supposed to accept that this random dog is famous enough to be on first name terms with the goblin king? Why can David Bowie just casually turn into a barn owl? Why is this never actually mentioned? And again, speaking of David Bowie, why on earth is he so obsessed with kidnapping this random child?? This entire movie felt like a fever dream in the best way possible. 10/10 would watch again.
