Chronicle Of A Gaysian

Journey of a 25 years old gay asian on love and life.

[chronicleofagaysian]

Journey to being Fit

Day 1

I’ll mark today as the official first day of my thousand miles journey of being fit and healthy. I have always wanted a better body, more defined and muscular shape, as well as looking good, healthy and sexy in my own skin. So in order for me to achieve that, I have to start somewhere, and today is the beginning of that journey.

After doing some research online, and numerous attempts in the past of getting fit, I decided to start my journey with this beginner workout plan/routine: https://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/beginner-body-weight-workout-burn-fat-build-muscle/

I choose this because it is quite easy to do. It is also something that I can do without going to the gym. I can’t afford a gym membership right now because I just started working early this month, and I haven’t got any savings or spare money to spend on fitness related things. But, I’m not gonna making excuses, so I choose this routine so that I can get started and get into the consistency of working out and take it from there.

I will try this routine maybe for a month and see if I make any progress. I am currently more focused on doing the exercises in the right form because some exercises are still quite hard for me. For example, push ups. I still can’t do the standard push ups in the right form and have to bring my knee down to do it. So in terms of progress, I will chart it based upon how well I can do these exercises from week to week. I also add a chin-up to the routine because it is also an exercise that I can’t do well and I want to be able to do it. 

I will definitely be journaling this journey consistently here so that I will keep staying on track. Hopefully in time I can’t look back and see how it all started and be proud of the progress I made. Until then, I will keep exercising and progressing to have a healthy, sexy and fit body.

[chronicleofagaysian]

Depressed As Fuck

It has been quite depressing for me these past few weeks. After I quit my second job, things are just...difficult. Life is difficult. Not to mention that I turned 25 two weeks ago. The feeling was just...’fuck”.

I am really trying to pull myself together, and try to put my life back in order. But I am too tired and lazy and unmotivated and uninterested in doing any self-improvement stuff until I can get a job. So far, even though it has been difficult, I manage to land some interviews and received good responses. The only problem now is just that I’m waiting for a response from a company I’m dying to work with and they won’t be able to let me know whether I will get the job in two weeks time. It’s like...ugh, another couple of weeks of despair and sorrow.

Seriously, my mind is not even in the right place right now. I just wish I can curl up next to somebody and just sort of feel safe. I sometimes touched my roommate in the early morning when I had to wake him up and just sort of caressed him. God, I’m such a freak. But he knows I do that, he asked me to anyhow. 

[chronicleofagaysian]

Gay App Sickness

Somehow, whenever I logged on to any gay dating apps and viewed the guys on there, I felt like a hole was being carved out of my heart. That sense of longing was so strong I can literally felt it in my heart and stomach. It made me miserable very quickly. But now, I try to channel this longing, this emotion into a fuel that can drive me to change something about myself. I feel this way because I am not an attractive person, I admit that. Guys don't hit me up on apps. So I'm gonna change that. I'm gonna be putting effort into exercising, grooming and growing myself so that I can at least be attractive to some people. Make no mistake, I am doing this for myself, I don't need other people validation of my beauty (inner and out). But once in a while, it feels good to be able to talk to someone where the attraction is mutual.

[chronicleofagaysian]

Movie Night with Straight Roomate

So my roomate finally has some times for us to spend together watching movie. He had been wanting to watch X-Men Apocalypse and since I got it downloaded on my laptop few months ago, I suggested we watch it together. Whenever I got the time to spend with him, I'm always excited. Even though we actually sleep in the same room (not on the same bed) and have our nightly pillow talk, I still like it when he spends time just with me. I do have a bit of a crush on him, but we're more like brothers than anything else. I have no brothers of my own so having him in my life is something I'm very grateful of. He's straight of course and very cute too. But above all, he's the first person I came out to and the person who has been supporting me not only for my sexuality but also my life in general. So I really love hime very much. I guess this is the feeling you get when someone you love spend his time with you. I just hope one day I can find a boyfriend who will be able to give me the same feeling.