My chronicles

My questions, rants, thoughts and experiences as a sufferer of chronic illnesses

[queen-of-truands]

Death doesn’t discriminate between the sinners and the saints, it takes and it takes and it takes and we keep living anyway: we rise and we fall and we break and we make our mistakes and if there’s a reason I’m still alive when everyone who loves me has died I’m willing to wait for it.

Aaron Burr, Hamilton (via queen-of-truands)

[chroniclesofachronic]

A note on slow walkers

Slow walking people can be infuriating for us faster walking people. Don’t they know that some people have places to be? Do they even know they’re walking slowly??

HOWEVER

sometimes I limp, and sometimes my joints (including hips) dislocate. Because of this, there are times when I have to walk much more slowly than usually, and it’s very annoying for me, and I know it’s annoying for other people, but I can’t help it. 

I know people who aren’t particularly fit but are trying to change that, and they hate how red faced and sweaty they get when walking quickly: it’s uncomfortable and sometimes embarrassing. They walk at slower paces.

Someone very dear to me has plenty of health problems including lupus, and undergoes chemotherapy to try and help her. She is very weak, but she tries to walk when she can instead of relying on her wheelchair and potentially losing the little mobility/muscle she has left. 

So please, please, even though it can be annoying/inconvenient for you, don’t get angry with these people and if you really can’t stop yourself from being annoyed, don’t approach them about it (unless you are sincerely offering your help). I’ve seen so many people go from rude and obnoxious to mortified and apologetic when they find out that the slow walking girl has to use a wheelchair and is going through chemo. 

No, we don’t owe anyone an apology or an explanation. But I’m willing to bet that at least some of those people who tried to shout out this poor girl will think twice before speaking/judging in future. And to me, that’s worth every second I spend dealing with the ignorant and often entitled behaviour of other people.

[spooniestrong]

I've been in physiotherapy for over a year now. I improved a bit in the first few months but things have plateaued since. I'm not gaining any muscle but I am gaining fat. I eat a healthy weight management diet and do my physiotherapy every day. I'm starting to lose hope of ever being fit and I'm finding it hard to see the point in trying. I'm really struggling with body image and I feel even worse that there's nothing I can do about it. Are there any other spoonies that manage to get/stay fit?

Unfortunately I can’t help you here, but I know there are plenty of Spoonies who can… Spoonies? Help?

*love & spoons* 💙

[chroniclesofachronic]

I used to have physiotherapy, which did ease a bit of my pain but didn't make me fit. I've always found it hard to gain weight (I'm above average height for a woman and I currently weigh 50kg), but recently I started going to the gym. I made sure not to push myself too hard and for the first month, only went two or three times. That was in August, and this month I've started going two or three times per week. Sure enough, I've started to notice some muscle on my body. I'm hardly fit, but I'm definitely getting there. I don't know what condition you're in or what you do during physio, but perhaps physio in conjunction with other exercise might benefit you?

[chroniclesofachronic]

Me: *trips over* Friends: *automatically assume I'm about to die and that they must call 999 because I am a fragile excuse for a human being*

[chroniclesofachronic]

Pretending your illness is playing up so you can reject an offer of social interaction without hurting someone’s feelings

[chroniclesofachronic]

I can never decide what to tell people when they ask what it is I have. I mean, it's none of their business, but I don't want to be rude. And do they want the whole list, or just one condition? Because if I give the full list, chances are, they aren't going to know everything, which then means I'm expected to give a brief summary of them and just thinking about all of this is making me tired. But if I only give one thing, I don't want them to think that that one condition can cause every symptom I have.

[emmiirose]

So relevant

[chroniclesofachronic]

Will I lose my dignity? Will someone care? Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?

Will I? Rent (musical)

[chroniclesofachronic]

Reactions when I explain that my poor attendance is due to chronic illness

Person 1 from course: Oh, I'm glad you're feeling better today though. :) Person 2: But you're missing so much stuff, how are you going to catch up?! Aren't you worried about not showing up?? Person 3: Ah, I see. *continues the conversation like a normal human being* Person 4: Wait, so what is it you have? 1. Thank you. 2. I'm more worried about me slapping you for constantly trying to get me worked up about this and making me feel like I should show up even when I'm in too much pain to do so, thank you very much! 3. It's really not a big deal, so thank you for not treating it as such. 4. Erm. We just met. I am not about to tell you exactly how broken my body is. Rude.

[chroniclesofachronic]

You're allowed to be body positive. Everyone should be. HOWEVER: don't you dare insult someone else's weight, whether they're over or underweight, in order to feel better about yourself or to "spread body positivity". Loving/accepting your own body is great. But don't hurt other people in order to do it.

[chroniclesofachronic]

So yesterday I went into uni for the first time this week. Ten minutes later, I was shaking in a corner while one of my lecturers ran to the cafeteria to buy me something to eat and drink. Good start to the year. xD