Explicit || Convent/Church AU inspired by the Byzantine Empire || Priest x Nun || Lots of Lore & Character Study || Rivalmance || Tags Will Be Added with Progression of the Story
After awakening from his millennia long slumber, Solas arrives at the convent of the Order of Silentir, disguised as a scholar priest. Near here, in the Frostback Mountains, a rift was formed and a statuette of Mythal fell from the sky. It is believed to contain a fragment of All Mother's soul, something mythallians have been preparing for for centuries. He seeks to lock away the fragment, just like he did with the Evanuris all these years ago, to keep the false goddess and her minions away from this fragile world.
He does not foresee how much trouble the future Oracle will prove to be.
Sister Pav'ra is just like the other cloistresses, if not for her destined fate and a deep connection to the Fade. She's devoted, the High Priestess' favourite pet, assigned to assist Father Solas in his studies of the rift. But, under a faithful facade, there is something wicked kept in deep slumber, something Solas promises himself to uncover. With dirty secrets coming into the light of day, everything turns more complicated, foul and filthy than any of them could ever predict.
âSo I rise for your glory and never fall. Pray for me, Mother of All. Mythal'enaste.â
You can read the first chapter, "Starved", here and a small excerpt under the cut~
all the images included in this post are from pinterest
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Her palms smooth down the robe, burgundy but with a gold rope wrapped around her waist. Itâs a reminder of her devotion, of how far she has come and all the right she did to get to this place. She brushes fingers down her shawl, making sure itâs in place, weaved into long golden hair, before heading towards the gathering. Her steps are practiced in stealth, subtle. Sheâd learnt not to be seen nor heard, just a ghost haunting the church. In the commotion and excitement sheâs not noticed, not until the High Priestess turns around to search for her. She canât see her gaze but knows exactly when it lands upon her, for the corners of the lips of the older woman curve up in a smile. Warmth spreads down Pavâraâs limbs as sheâs gestured to come closer. She will make her proud.
âLethallin, let me introduce you to sister Pavâraâ the High Priestess announces, turning the manâs attention towards her. The other cloistresses step to the side to let her through, some with jealousy painted over their faces, while the more friendly ones giggle or send her encouraging smiles. Thank Mythal, she still has some friends in the convent. âSister Pavâra is one of the most knowledgeable on the Fade in our Order. She will show you around our archives and attend to the rift with you. Lethallan, brother Solas will offer guidance in your studies. I trust you will provide him with proper hospitality.â
Pavâra lowers her gaze as she offers a little bow to the priest before looking upon him. She canât help the curiosity in her eyes as they stray to assess the new arrival. He is tall indeed, with grey irises guarded but filled with life. They scan her back, expression relaxed and calm, as she does her best to stand tall without seeming cocky. It is no good to be too confident.
âAndaran atishâan, Father. May the grace of our Lady fill your days with lightâ she speaks quietly, for the loud in these tall halls is suffocating. Every sound bounces around in the church and the buzz surrounding them is enough to disturb the spirits. âItâs an honour to have you with us.â
âThe pleasure is all mineâ he responds with casualness not fully proper for the occasion. Tipping his head to the side, he rests fingers against his chin as if in deep thought, eyes never leaving her face. The contact is far too long, leaving the High Priestess clearing her throat.
I crawl out of my hole with a sense of shame and disdain for myself, like I usually do after disappearing because of the overwhelming reality of the real life.
For the ones curious about my recent whereabouts, check it out below.
And I guess I am on substack now? You can read my first post here.
okay okay okay, so here is the less official note
I feel like this might be a somehow-maybe-universal auDHD experience? lmk ha ha :'))
I absolutely love the fandom spaces and I love love all the beautiful, kind people I meet thanks to those spaces. But sometimes life gets too lively (hah, sue me) and that's what happened, basically. I was writing my fanfics, drawing my drawings, talking and having so so so much fun and then BAM-- exam session!
I obviously knew it was coming, but this one was TOUGH. I'll leave my thoughts about Polish academic system for another post but fuck me, damn.
And when my auDHD ass gets overwhelmed, I get anxious, depressed and stop enjoying the things I enjoyed at that moment. Soo, Solavellan got a bit tossed to the side (Solas ily still, so much) and I started playing "My Time" series and "Crusader Kings III" to cope when I managed to find some time between studying and trying to keep myself alive.
I also, unfortunately, lose the ability to communicate--first on the internet, then with my irl friends, and then I end up ghosting my parents and only my partner that I live in gets to see my tired face.
Tbh it feels a bit pathetic to write it all down, and I already get tired of myself. I guess this is mostly a note for my friends and mutuals that I'm alive, I'm sorry for disappearing and ily, still and always.
Anddd if by any chance you are one of my fanfic readers (if you are I kiss your forehead gently you angel), I'm actively working on coming back. I think that Substack is a part of that, to feel creative and like myself again after being crumpled up and tossed aside by the schooling system as a disabled person. Again (it happens every fucking semester, tell me why I'm doing this to myself).
Oh, but I passed the exams (only one more left), so there's that. Is this oversharing? Let me know. And sorry again. And thank you.
Ah, what a time to be a 25 yo teenage girl-not-girl.
welcome to the pestka.exe series where i deal with my fear of being perceived by the extreme exposure therapy of publishing snippets from my private journal
I put my socks on before going to bed, covering the cold feet, just to take them off the moment I slip under the covers. This is me, precisely -- I reject everything I touch. Once upon a time I laughed -- Anti-Midas.
ok ik ik i literally JUST posted abt not posting bc i'm tired and overwhelmed but DAMN THIS IS TOO FUN AND EASY OK?
literature and art
you radiate creativity. sensitive and wistful, and everything you do is a work of art. youâre often prayed to before performance or before a new work is created, asking for the creative vision to remain strong and the emotion to flow into whatever they produce. your worshippers are blessed with creative talents beyond desire.
to all my amazing mutuals that have been tagging me in tag games -- ily and i want to do them but got very overwhelmedTM this week because i've been working on comms and my master's thesis
Flakes of frost glimmered on their way down towards the field, far from the trees to obstruct them; they built a cover of white static in every direction, a constant motion of stars, a dull entombment from all noise, so that the woods surrounding them were endlessly quiet, as if she and Solas were truly alone, just the two of them, caught in this slow sugar storm.
â XVIII. The Moon
sooooo, the n s f w solas ychâ yeah, itâs happening đđđ full image on bsky (link under the cut)
itâs still a wip, mid rendering!!! itâs just been fun to keep yall updated with the process
iâm planning to make the expression and body type adjustable free of charge, so ykâ follow if youâre interested? still not sure how to price it tho, iâve never done a ych before!
going back and forth between dragon age tumblr and playing cyberpunk will give you such whiplash because here you'll see people wah wah whining about solas being a genocidal maniac elven supremacist meanwhile in game hes crying screaming throwing up and painting emo frescoes on the wall about how guilty he feels about his war crimes that he committed under duress and wishing he could undo all of it and then you boot up cyberpunk 2077 and within 5 seconds johnny silverhand is literally advocating for terrorism and doubling down on his war crimes and defending the necessity of civilian casualties and calling you a pussy ass bitch if you dont wanna blow up buildings and cause collateral damage with him. im not kidding
Rules: answer and tag six people you want to know better.
I was tagged by @moonsomniari! thank you my dear!
1. Favorite Color: this one is hard. sunset orange now I think
2. Last Song You Played: Jordan Smith - Lonely eyes. I just discovered this guy and oh boy how I like his timbre...
3. Currently Reading: Bobiverse Series by Dennis Taylor. I'm now on the 4th book. For everyone who likes pure sci-fi and space exploration I strongly recommend it, fun and chill reading.
4. Currently Watching: Don't have mood for watching anything. Last watched: Wolf and Spice(new version).
5. Currently Craving: to finish my current playthrough of DS3 and coop honour bg3 and finally play Expedition 33. asdsafasf yes yes give it to me!!!
6. Coffee or Tea: Tea. I can't drink good freshly brewed coffee because of my heart problems, so tea is my everything. Especially with mint, bergamot and peach.
My tagging: @chronicsolasapologist @trash-begging @supernova2395 @crimsonphantasmagoria and everyone who read this - you're welcome <3 <3 <3
1. Favorite Color: Currently very saturated deep yellow!
2. Last Song You Played: Uh-oh. Ok. Um. This. The european in me is getting exposed rn, I guess.
3. Currently Reading: Unholy amount of psychological scientific papers :')) Amongst the writing, drawing and doing my master's thesis there isn't really much space for anything else--sadly!
4. Currently Watching: The Studio with Seth Rogen, ahhhh! My unproblematic white man <3
5. Currently Craving: To play CP77 all day long. But alas, life is unfair </3
6. Coffee or Tea: Coffee for my unmedicated ADHD ass [*]
well NA is the initials to my real name so it started from there. many people irl also call me by Na instead of my real name (which i lowkey hate and it doesnt even sound like me, even my friend said so, ig its just trans thing) so I just use it online too. also, N/A is abbreviation for Not Available which if im being honest is my mental state most of the time lmao, and actually my handle was notavailablenarc for a time.
Then the nana part is a reference to the manga Nana because of course i love it as a young weebo millennial.
And one last thing is narc which could be short for either narcotic or narcissism, and i love the idea of both. narcotic as in subtances that consumed to alter one's state of mind, which is what art itself is to me. while narcissism to me is the idea that everyone deep down is narcissistic and selfish to a degree, and while it's an ugly thing to have it's inevitable and we just have to accept it.
Soft tagging @opal-apparition @notyourmamasdeerbat @roofgeese @irrigone @chronicsolasapologist @postboxrose @smoggyfogbottom and anyone who wants to join!
That's such an elaborate and interesting story behind your name and it makes me wish I had one too, lmao :') Tbh my account name here on tumblr is just a tribiute towards all the horrible/misunderstood fictional men, Solas being the one I'm hyperfixated on rn.
But a name I use across social media--Pestka--in polish means literally pip. Like, the one inside the fruit. And it basically stems from this:
Pestka always felt like she fell from the wrong tree. Perhaps, amongst the cherries, she was an apple or an apricot - the dried one, that kind her mom used to eat while still young and childish.
Pestka looked completely ordinary, not to count the eerie shiver in the corner of her smile. Usually, during the times of momentous seriousness, she couldnât hold back this grimace - since the youngest years she was absolutely dumbfounded. Her hair used to be golden but with passing years they turned to ordinary beige, mousy blonde typical for slavic girls. Grey eyes, with a little tear hiding in her pupil every time something went not according to plan. And maybe she could even be beautiful but everything was just a bit wrong - the jaw too sharp, tip of her nose a tad too big. When she was watching herself in the mirror, she mourned that lost beauty. It was the kind of eerie ugliness as if one would move all the furniture in their neighbour's home during their absence - just for a centimeter. But, what was worse than all that, is that she was always present.
Her favourite hobby was falling in love, best served unhappy - without reciprocity, in distance, with age difference or in a priest. Without that melancholic drowning in another, she didnât really know who she was.
you literally can change the way he feels about Arasaka, V and himself when you treat him good, with compassion.
and when he loves you, cares, only then you can tell him âyou deserve better, Goro, ghost Arasaka, feed the cats.â
in the Devil ending he can treat you like shit, with cruelty, sarcasm,
but he can also be worried sick, he can say
âim being listened to V, be carefulâ
âthis family is not like ME AND YOU, we are not like them, WE should not judge them⌠â
and when you ask him- do we have a future, will we meet, he tries to hold back, say 'I believe we willâ, but then he looks at V and rushes out-
'visit me, come to me, please, I will show you READ foodâ (and he made sure to tell you HOW HUNGRY HE IS DURING RIDING ARASAKA, HUNGRY FOR MORE, THOSE ARE THE LINES ;)
he even calls you V-san.
he begs you to choose life with him.
and only if you choose him through the whole game.
he literally speaks different lines in every dialogue since the beginning if you are good to him, I checked, even at Tomâs dinner.
He can just tell you what he wants.
But he can say 'I need you, Vâ. Not 'your helpâ. You.
V can start calling him Goro from the day one. Or never. It IS important.
Y'all so blind. We donât need Takemura romance. The entire game is literally a choice between Panam or Takemura. Everything else is additional.
I wasnât really going to post this, but Arasaka server made me to :DÂ
I donât have a luxury to make a whole playthrough being shitty with Goro to see how he treats V in the Devil Ending, but there is precious little something I can easily check.
In âDown on the Streetâ (docks rendezvous mission) you can surpise him asking if he is okay and explain it by either âwe have a business to do, you have to be alive and capableâ or something close to âbecause I careâ.
In first case he barks back that you better watch your own wellbeing. If you choose the second option he makes a sudden confession that nobody usually asks how is he doing.
In the end of a mission there is choice of the way to say goodbye â itâs either a cold âgood luck, byeâ or warm âbe sure not to put youself in dangerâ.
And here is an outcome:
This is not a one second expression I captured, he literally stays there for as long as you donât leave the area, either staring at you sulenly or with this little happy smile.
Actually I have never played a game there character shows how he feels about you while idling, outside of dialogs where every movement is purposely animated.
Thank you @vforvedroidâ for sharing your findings!Â
Okay, so, lets take a moment to discuss this. When did CDPR ever do something that wasnât on purpose? Like the post above, someone did code that in, for him to smile or be grumpy.
Day by day as more people discover more details like these I start to believe more and more that there might have actually been a cut romance.Â
OR NOT???
I sometimes ask myself, are we picking at straws?
He clearly rejects you here, but was this rejection added last minute before they cut out everything else? Or there wasnât anything to cut and how this are supposed to be.Â
This âobligations in Japanâ could mean a lot of things. As Iâve said earlier, we might be overanalyzing things. Obligations could be: a family, his obligations to Arasaka, avenging his master. Or many other reasons, but these two are the first two that we tend to think about.Â
Where does this lead us in conflict with the above findings by everyone else?
sooooo, the n s f w solas ychâ yeah, itâs happening đđđ full image on bsky (link under the cut)
itâs still a wip, mid rendering!!! itâs just been fun to keep yall updated with the process
iâm planning to make the expression and body type adjustable free of charge, so ykâ follow if youâre interested? still not sure how to price it tho, iâve never done a ych before!
Thank you so so much for tagging meeee @miraabellee!! <3 <3 <3
I had to slightly delay responding because I've been on a bit of a writing break after posting chapter 5 of the moon BUT this tag also got me to start writing a lot sooner than I would have! So thank you!
Though equally as delightful was also to imagine the change of drifting as instantaneous, like true fade-stepping orâmore accuratelyâlike the result of finding herself the subject of a powerful spell, or becoming the willing victim in the delightful noose of a trap, silken rope woven with words and wishes from the waking world, so that it may grab her by the ankle in her sleep and pull her to him swiftly, heart in her throat as though she were falling (each night from the start, again, again, again).
As usual my sentences are fucking long super run-on too wordy to assign one tag per word so ill tag as many people as I can without feeling like i'm a nuisance in your notifs lol:
@chronicsolasapologist @contessaxchaos @elynnism @liberaquantobasta-catossa @bitch-queen-of-angmar @kithsana @aliceunalive @christinabindon @crittadownunder @psykergirl @dayntee @opal-apparition also every mutual who reads this, you are tagged(!!!!!!!!!), as soon as i get the notification i'll go back and edit this post with your username i'm not even kidding (i just dont want to spam people)
Let me offer you a snippet from the one-shot I'm writing for the #DragonAgeKinkmemeChallenge from the Fen'Harem server, tehee~
"Are you alright, Solas?" It's a futile fight, to keep his eyes off her, on herâneither seems right. Even so, he looks up, and for a moment he's sure there's a mischevious pixie living in her right iris, a creature that overtook him and now, with a teasing smile, so different from the one he knows in the light of day, scoots closer just to test his restrain. "Are you nervous?"
The word rolls off her tongue in true delight, a pinch of disbelief sprinkled on top. A childish joy sparks in her smile when the tips of Solas' ears heat up andâcloser, closerâshe takes a step forward, pinning his hand to the desk that so rudely pulls them apart.
I KNOW IT'S WAY MORE THAN ONE SENTENCE BUT I'M VERY HAPPY WITH THIS ONE AND THOUGHT SOME CONTEXT IS NEEDED OK? ok. good. thank you, thank you :3
tagging: @ar-ghilas-vir-banal @dayntee @elf-trash @goobigoombi @impulsivelycontentious @jochiemgrace @mythalism @nananarc @obsidian-bone and anyone else who'd like to join on the fun, tehe
