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@chthonic2132
hi my name is cecil. or isaac. any pronouns. in my 20s. this is my diary blog where i post my unfiltered thoughts. i'm a hermit and i don't want to be popular. white american jewish convert. studying marxism currently. always seeking to learn more about this world and the people in it. i love this beautiful world and want to do my part to do what i can to make it a better place. i post art sometimes, maybe.
i don't think i'm being an asshole or "gatekeeping" when i say, if you are a leftist, or call yourself one, one of the most important things you can do to better yourself is 1. read about history. history contextualizes *everything.* you will gain a better understanding of why things are the way they are once you see what led to here. 2. read about the political history of other countries. at least within the past 5 decades. you don't have to be a scholar on a topic, just be aware of the facts. bare minimum, don't talk out of your ass. don't make shit up because you don't know anything about it. the world is the way it is for a reason and your greatest asset is understanding exactly why. none of it is black and white. fascism, conservative movements, hostile takeovers of governments by militant groups, you need to understand what leads to these things happening. and also, very importantly, read about socialist movements in other places.
i also really don't think i'm being an asshole or wrong in any way by saying, if you do call yourself a leftist, if there is a group of people- a certain demographic- that you are willing to leave behind in your politics, you should not call yourself a leftist at all. and i notice in a lot of people, there is always *one* demographic they're willing to let go under the wheel for their vision of the "future." disabled people, the elderly, people of color, the unhoused, addicts, people who are mentally ill, lgbt people, women, even people who's politics do not 1 to 1 align, if there is a group of people you will gladly leave behind in your pursuit of socialism, what good is your socialism to anyone? don't you have any sense of integrity, of true humanity? some so-called leftists and communists don't! i truly believe this, i wish for a national socialist movement in the USA, a national movement built upon community participation, and genuine love for your neighbors- all of them. love for people, for humanity. no reliance on elected political figures. that nobody gets left behind, and everyone is able to reap the benefits of socialism. otherwise, any momentum will fail. what game are tumblr communists playing? all this big talk about a beautiful socialist future, but no personal effort in dismantling your own biases and taught bigotry? genuinely, what are you doing? just based on observation, some i've noticed hold onto these fixed bigoted ideas and haven't examined or unlearned them at all, some just... don't understand enough, don't learn enough. some people are communists and anarchists and marxist-leninists not out of an altruistic ideal, a dream of a better future that we can all be a part of, but to look cool, edgy, and be counter-culture, with no critical thought behind it. and you can tell. because there's always a group they're willing to leave behind.
i don't think i'm being an asshole or "gatekeeping" when i say, if you are a leftist, or call yourself one, one of the most important things you can do to better yourself is 1. read about history. history contextualizes *everything.* you will gain a better understanding of why things are the way they are once you see what led to here. 2. read about the political history of other countries. at least within the past 5 decades. you don't have to be a scholar on a topic, just be aware of the facts. bare minimum, don't talk out of your ass. don't make shit up because you don't know anything about it. the world is the way it is for a reason and your greatest asset is understanding exactly why. none of it is black and white. fascism, conservative movements, hostile takeovers of governments by militant groups, you need to understand what leads to these things happening. and also, very importantly, read about socialist movements in other places.
French-Iranian author and illustrator Marjane Satrapi, best known for the book and film âPersopolisâ, has died of "sadness", members of her
This one hurt, her work had such a profound effect on my life, thoughts, and politics.
May her memory be a blessing
the most valueable skill a white leftist can ever learn is how to take an L with grace.
You gotta be able to take an L if your moral and ethical belief systems are to be capable of guiding you. Otherwise you just have an idealized self where you get really mad and scared when anyone points out it isn't actually you. How the fuck are you gonna walk the walk if you can't handle being told when you are not, in fact, actually walking it
you cannot just socially transition into being a good person you are going to have to settle for being a messy human being who has to try and fail and keep trying to get better like everyone else. yeah even when it's embarassing and sucks for you a lot.
Ya gotta learn to earnestly and honestly say "Oh shit, my bad."
And to then end the sentence there, not launch into a paragraph of explanation or panicked super-apology.
there are just some characters who are men where its like. enacting deeply misogynistic violence is really 3/5ths of the deal at hand here to a point where the trans headcanons made about them start to become absolutely nonsensical to me and i do not understand what compels people to do it. its like well i do not think walter white is trans or should be trans. in any direction. im #sorry i guess.
there are situations where i think trans headcanons CAN be really great for exploring points where a character both may enact or experience misogyny like dirk strider being real but others where im just like (scratches head) well i think hes a cisgender man....
if u are headcanoning gideon graves of scott pilgrim fame as transgender we are taking u out back 2morrow and putting u down. johnny truant too actually. among others. many people dont understand the unique psychological insanity of a Cisgender Man character. its especially egregious to me to headcanon a Man character as a trans woman when that character is an explicit violent misogynist and/or a sex pest. u r not woke. u just want 2 suck off that character. u know nothing & u are a worm
do you have any advice on character design?
watch The Sopranos
i actually wanted to elaborate on this and say that i think itâs a really bad habit of a lot of artists, influenced by current media casting practices, to unconsciously or consciously make every single character they create super pretty, like everyone is just hot in that very boring, homogenous way, and this also comes as a result of people using actors and celebrities as character references or faceclaims and AI facial generation programs like Artbreeder being trained on people who are generally very pretty-looking. it results in alienating, uncanny worlds and drawings completely devoid of people who just look like regular people. it results worlds populated by mannequins fresh off the CW. I feel like whether a character is attractive or not should actually matter, be part of their character, because that kind of thing absolutely affects the way you move through the world and the way the world treats you.
so i wanted to throw in some suggestions that, whenever Iâm trying to find a character reference or otherwise draw very interesting-looking yet regular-looking people, which i usually have to do for bit characters in @ikroahâ or something, I tend to look for references in the following places. these are far from the only reliable way to get inspiration, this is just a non-exhaustive list of places iâve looked before for visual inspiration when needing to create a character, whether starring characters or background ones:
pre-2000s television (The Sopranos and Twin Peaks especially having incredible character design)
extras in comedy sketch shows
esports players
real photos (not staged stock photos) of line cooks
70s baseball players
athletes from more obscure olympic sports like the javelin toss or greco-roman wrestling, especially if youâre looking for a specific body type
ska, jazz, and blues musicians
firefighters
improv troupes
for teenagers, searching âhigh school english class projectâ on youtube and sorting by Upload Date
state senators, small-town mayors, and generally obscure local government positions like comptroller or treasurer (yes i know politicians can be bad sometimes but smaller elections especially donât really depend on looks)
people who walk by your window (if you live in a city like I do)
and again these are just, in my opinion, deep and easy wells to dive in if you want to get a good idea of what regular people look like. these suggestions arenât the limits on where you can possibly find inspiration for character design
Felliniâs movies have remarkably interesting and unique looking actors
Yes!!! Thereâs an entire book called Felliniâs Faces thatâs nothing but portraits of his actors thatâs phenomenal for this kind of thing, though itâs fairly rare to get a hold of today.
(Since I know a lot of writers/artists follow me for costume/character design ideas!)
give it the end of summer; it will happen this year
it is kind of funny being a very schizophrenic leftist during what feels like a slow march to the end of the world (around me, at least. the world at large? probably fine, hopefully even better off without the USA.) you have to learn lessons in fear management and acceptance of what you cannot control. it is a unique form of insanity however, as a lot of my thinking is directly influenced by the Omen related delusions. they're not as distressing as they used to be, but oh ho ho, there are the Signs. bright red arrow pointing straight towards It's All Fucked And Not Getting Any Better. it is the natural course of action with what's going on, living under fascism, of course, but i try to explain this to people that it is useless planning for a future as if the future will stay the same. the lives of every single person in the USA has already been derailed or will be soon. there is no business as usual. this is it.
i think it is worth preparing for the worst. bracing yourself. there will not be another democratic election in this country, there will be massive food shortages, wage stagnation will only continue, people will die. people have died. people will continue to do so. it's silly to act like things will be the same in a year. those of us it hasn't reached yet - we can afford to turn our heads and look away and act like it won't reach us at all. but it will, and it'll happen sooner than later. sorry for all my omen of apocalyptic doom posting. i pray for a national movement to be swept up into where all this stagnant energy has somewhere meaningful to go. do something with my hands for the greater good. for now i just Post.
my only comfort and hope during these trying times are the fact that i simply will outlive this. i used to have delusions of my immediate violent death, but now i am hopeful that i simply will outlive this. i will either outlive this fascist government, or the world will have to kill me itself. line me up against the wall before i ever lay a hand to myself again. i will not die anytime soon, no thank you Omens Of My Doom.
give it the end of summer; it will happen this year
it is kind of funny being a very schizophrenic leftist during what feels like a slow march to the end of the world (around me, at least. the world at large? probably fine, hopefully even better off without the USA.) you have to learn lessons in fear management and acceptance of what you cannot control. it is a unique form of insanity however, as a lot of my thinking is directly influenced by the Omen related delusions. they're not as distressing as they used to be, but oh ho ho, there are the Signs. bright red arrow pointing straight towards It's All Fucked And Not Getting Any Better. it is the natural course of action with what's going on, living under fascism, of course, but i try to explain this to people that it is useless planning for a future as if the future will stay the same. the lives of every single person in the USA has already been derailed or will be soon. there is no business as usual. this is it.
i think it is worth preparing for the worst. bracing yourself. there will not be another democratic election in this country, there will be massive food shortages, wage stagnation will only continue, people will die. people have died. people will continue to do so. it's silly to act like things will be the same in a year. those of us it hasn't reached yet - we can afford to turn our heads and look away and act like it won't reach us at all. but it will, and it'll happen sooner than later. sorry for all my omen of apocalyptic doom posting. i pray for a national movement to be swept up into where all this stagnant energy has somewhere meaningful to go. do something with my hands for the greater good. for now i just Post.
give it the end of summer; it will happen this year
hazbin hotel is still one of those projects out there that gravely wounds and offends me that it is just. popular. i remember when vivziepop had a tumblr blog and was known for just being unpleasant and egotistical, she was genuinely infamous for being a dick. and youre telling me she got not one but two incredibly mediocre animated projects? this isnt a dig at the animators because truthfully it is the individual artists that actually make the project anything at all, some of the animation truly is very beautiful despite it all, but the writing, character design, all of it is just dogshit. no true substance. insufferable writing. edgy just for the sake of it. no thought put behind the themes. and people completely glossed over the racism. there is literally a lesbian character named after vagina. alastor was retconned to be black despite never being coded that way in the first place because vivziepop couldn't put the voodoo symbolism down and then it ended up even more racist. and you know i'm being a true hater because i've watched both shows just to understand what i'm looking at, and every single time i just felt overwhelmingly, "this is dogshit." and in my personal experience every fan i've ever met has been insufferable and immature. just like fans of south park
heres the thing. i enjoy well done heavy subject matter, you can look at my track record of interests as evidence for that, but i do think writers who wont shut up about how complicated and controversial they are for including ~dark themes~ in their writing need to a christmas carol style be forced to sit down and watch all 4 seasons of 13 reasons why to see what happens if you try to incorporate a bunch of heavy stuff in your work with 0 research or regard for people affected
slight clarification: people in the tags are saying "yea there needs to be levity between heavy moments for a story to be effective", which is also very true! but not what this post is about. this post is about how if you write about abuse and murder and oppression but you dont actually know what youre talking about or have a purpose for including it beside shock value and proving how mature you are your work will read like it was written by a twelve year old
feeling this old mitski tweet so hard lately
i think at this point in my life i can truly say i'm a marxist now that i have a grasp on theory. however it is a uniquely maddening experience because i can see what's going on, top down, why this country the way it is, my place in it, OUR places in it at the bottom, who benefits, and who's under the boot. i can confidently say - i know exactly what's going on. i read enough to know exactly what's going on. the crazy thing is trying to convince people to open their eyes just a little. they are so loyal to deeply incorrect Ideas, about the economy, about labor, about the world, about the people in it. deeply, deeply incorrect ideas with no attachment to reality. you try to point this out and people just get mad at you. people are so blinded by the Ideas they were taught and cling to. bigoted ideas about other human beings, deeply ignorant ideas that they see as fact. sometimes i don't know what to do with this. i truly want to convince people - maybe not on marxism specifically, but just class consciousness. you are at the bottom because someone at the top wants you to be. you are at the bottom by design. you are taught that there are other human beings less human than you because those at the top *want* you to. to divide you, to keep everyone fighting with eachother, rather than pointing fingers at the real enemies. those with wealth, capital, influence. instead people point fingers at their neighbors in their communities.
every day it just concerns me how little compassion people have. no compassion for those living in the global south. no compassion for immigrants. no compassion for disabled ppl. no compassion for addicts. no compassion for prisoners. no compassion for children. like holy shit ...
i made a separate post about this but actually there are plenty of people cough white people who care about animals more than they ever do human people . not what i'm talking about make your own post
we are putting adachi down tomorrow
âbits to use in everyday conversationsâ
