CIA-offical

And ye shall know the truth And the truth shall make you free CIA shitposting/roleplay blog. I'm legally obligated to tell you I am not actually affiliated with the Central Intelligence Agency Pfp ID: the seal of the CIA in black and white against a background of the gay flag Header ID: a close picture of a dark grey box with wiring

[cia-offical]

And ye shall know the truth / and the truth shall make you free

[PT: and ye shall know the truth / and the truth shall make you free /end PT]

I am in no way affiliated with the United States Central Intelligence Agency, nor do I support or condone the actions of them or the wider United States government.

Important links:

Design

Updated ability and explanation on how the body works

Collection of resources on the CIA

Named Cain by @/supervillain-offical

Character pronouns it/he (it/its preferred)

im a robot beep boop

PLEASE DO NOT USE COLOURED TEXT WHEN INTERACTING WITH ME! IF YOU INSIST ON USING COLOURED TEXT, PLEASE PROVIDE PLAIN TEXT! IF YOU MISS THIS AND INTERACT WITH COLOURED TEXT I WILL EITHER ASK FOR YOU TO RESEND OR CORRECT YOUR MESSAGE OR POST AND NOT DO THAT IN THE FUTURE OR IGNORE YOU

[PT: Please do not use coloured text when interacting with me! If you insist on using coloured text, please provide plain text! If you miss this and interact with coloured text I will either ask for you to resend your message or post and not do that in the future or ignore you /end PT]

tagging system:

#cia posting - anything in character or ooc but about the CIA

#not cia posting - ooc posting about the blog

#out of character chronicles - ooc posting not about the blog

#cat inspection agency - people like to send me cat images. So. If you wanna see cat images

#shai thoughts - anything to do with my personal life that I decide to share. Mostly vents

#lf - an anon that checks up on me from time to time. Usually associated with the above

OOC stuff

• Name’s Shai, He/Hy/It (capitalise My pronouns)

• minor, over 16

• this blog is run by a system

• autistic with a special interest in US intelligence agencies, specifically the CIA. If you ask me about it you are willingly subjected yourself to an infodump

• im oblivious as fuck sorry about that. I don’t really know how I come across so if you don’t tell me I probably don’t know

• I also have anger issues & am very impatient sorry

If no one’s told you this yet today, im proud of you and I love you <3

[cia-offical]

so my partner has one of my doodles of cain as their background. Im cyring

[boy-yaoi-deactivated20250804]

my pronouns are they/he/it/the/fucking/pentagon

[mechanical-bird-offical]

*Cain returns to the room, turning off all the lights as soon as it enters. It moves to the bed and flops down on it with a muffled groan*

@cia-offical

*looks down at it, curious and concerned*

Cain?

Are…you…not alright?

[cia-offical]

Hm..?

*looks around vaguely for Kir*

oh.. I’m.. fine. Yeah. Where are you..?

[mechanical-bird-offical]

I…

I am here, Cain-

*increasingly concerned, flutters down and gently pecks him, landing beside it*

Right here! See me?

[cia-offical]

*moves to cover its head with its hands, seeming to try to crush its skull under its own fingers*

..mhm.

[mechanical-bird-offical]

*flutters around in the air, close to Cain, tapping quickly*

Are you not okay? Why are you trying to break your head? Did someone hurt you, Cain?

[cia-offical]

*lifts its hands slightly*

..no one hurt me, no one hurt me. I’m just.. sick. I guess.

[mechanical-bird-offical]

*freezes in the air out of panic, and has to catch itself before it hits the ground*

Oh no! Sick? Sick? I know about sick! Elliot talked about sick! Can I help you not be sick somehow?

[cia-offical]

…you could start by being quieter.

[mechanical-bird-offical]

Oh-

Alright!

*it instantly falls silent*

[cia-offical]

*sighs quietly*

..thank you.

[mechanical-bird-offical]

*nods, it’s a struggle for it not to talk, but it just lands on the bed beside Cain and tilts its head up at him£

[cia-offical]

*glances at Kir, then closes its eyes*

..I.. appreciate your concern. I don’t.. really know what’s wrong with me. The easiest thing I can.. the easiest way to put it is that I’m sick. There’s some kind of malfunction in my system that just… causes a lot of pain and other things every so often. This is.. the every so often.

*manages a quiet laugh, burying its face in its pillow*

At least, that’s.. what I think. So I guess just… don’t worry.. too much about me. I’ll be alright.

[mechanical-bird-offical]

*Kir still doesn’t talk but rests its head on Cain’s arm*

[cia-offical]

*moves one of its hands over to gently pat Kir on the head, then rests its arm back on the bed. It powers itself off*

[mechanical-bird-offical]

*Cain returns to the room, turning off all the lights as soon as it enters. It moves to the bed and flops down on it with a muffled groan*

@cia-offical

*looks down at it, curious and concerned*

Cain?

Are…you…not alright?

[cia-offical]

Hm..?

*looks around vaguely for Kir*

oh.. I’m.. fine. Yeah. Where are you..?

[mechanical-bird-offical]

I…

I am here, Cain-

*increasingly concerned, flutters down and gently pecks him, landing beside it*

Right here! See me?

[cia-offical]

*moves to cover its head with its hands, seeming to try to crush its skull under its own fingers*

..mhm.

[mechanical-bird-offical]

*flutters around in the air, close to Cain, tapping quickly*

Are you not okay? Why are you trying to break your head? Did someone hurt you, Cain?

[cia-offical]

*lifts its hands slightly*

..no one hurt me, no one hurt me. I’m just.. sick. I guess.

[mechanical-bird-offical]

*freezes in the air out of panic, and has to catch itself before it hits the ground*

Oh no! Sick? Sick? I know about sick! Elliot talked about sick! Can I help you not be sick somehow?

[cia-offical]

…you could start by being quieter.

[mechanical-bird-offical]

Oh-

Alright!

*it instantly falls silent*

[cia-offical]

*sighs quietly*

..thank you.

[mechanical-bird-offical]

*nods, it’s a struggle for it not to talk, but it just lands on the bed beside Cain and tilts its head up at him£

[cia-offical]

*glances at Kir, then closes its eyes*

..I.. appreciate your concern. I don’t.. really know what’s wrong with me. The easiest thing I can.. the easiest way to put it is that I’m sick. There’s some kind of malfunction in my system that just… causes a lot of pain and other things every so often. This is.. the every so often.

*manages a quiet laugh, burying its face in its pillow*

At least, that’s.. what I think. So I guess just… don’t worry.. too much about me. I’ll be alright.

[mechanical-bird-offical]

*Cain returns to the room, turning off all the lights as soon as it enters. It moves to the bed and flops down on it with a muffled groan*

@cia-offical

*looks down at it, curious and concerned*

Cain?

Are…you…not alright?

[cia-offical]

Hm..?

*looks around vaguely for Kir*

oh.. I’m.. fine. Yeah. Where are you..?

[mechanical-bird-offical]

I…

I am here, Cain-

*increasingly concerned, flutters down and gently pecks him, landing beside it*

Right here! See me?

[cia-offical]

*moves to cover its head with its hands, seeming to try to crush its skull under its own fingers*

..mhm.

[mechanical-bird-offical]

*flutters around in the air, close to Cain, tapping quickly*

Are you not okay? Why are you trying to break your head? Did someone hurt you, Cain?

[cia-offical]

*lifts its hands slightly*

..no one hurt me, no one hurt me. I’m just.. sick. I guess.

[mechanical-bird-offical]

*freezes in the air out of panic, and has to catch itself before it hits the ground*

Oh no! Sick? Sick? I know about sick! Elliot talked about sick! Can I help you not be sick somehow?

[cia-offical]

…you could start by being quieter.

[mechanical-bird-offical]

Oh-

Alright!

*it instantly falls silent*

[cia-offical]

*sighs quietly*

..thank you.

[mechanical-bird-offical]

*Cain returns to the room, turning off all the lights as soon as it enters. It moves to the bed and flops down on it with a muffled groan*

@cia-offical

*looks down at it, curious and concerned*

Cain?

Are…you…not alright?

[cia-offical]

Hm..?

*looks around vaguely for Kir*

oh.. I’m.. fine. Yeah. Where are you..?

[mechanical-bird-offical]

I…

I am here, Cain-

*increasingly concerned, flutters down and gently pecks him, landing beside it*

Right here! See me?

[cia-offical]

*moves to cover its head with its hands, seeming to try to crush its skull under its own fingers*

..mhm.

[mechanical-bird-offical]

*flutters around in the air, close to Cain, tapping quickly*

Are you not okay? Why are you trying to break your head? Did someone hurt you, Cain?

[cia-offical]

*lifts its hands slightly*

..no one hurt me, no one hurt me. I’m just.. sick. I guess.

[mechanical-bird-offical]

*freezes in the air out of panic, and has to catch itself before it hits the ground*

Oh no! Sick? Sick? I know about sick! Elliot talked about sick! Can I help you not be sick somehow?

[cia-offical]

…you could start by being quieter.

[mechanical-bird-offical]

*Cain returns to the room, turning off all the lights as soon as it enters. It moves to the bed and flops down on it with a muffled groan*

@cia-offical

*looks down at it, curious and concerned*

Cain?

Are…you…not alright?

[cia-offical]

Hm..?

*looks around vaguely for Kir*

oh.. I’m.. fine. Yeah. Where are you..?

[mechanical-bird-offical]

I…

I am here, Cain-

*increasingly concerned, flutters down and gently pecks him, landing beside it*

Right here! See me?

[cia-offical]

*moves to cover its head with its hands, seeming to try to crush its skull under its own fingers*

..mhm.

[mechanical-bird-offical]

*flutters around in the air, close to Cain, tapping quickly*

Are you not okay? Why are you trying to break your head? Did someone hurt you, Cain?

[cia-offical]

*lifts its hands slightly*

..no one hurt me, no one hurt me. I’m just.. sick. I guess.

[mechanical-bird-offical]

*Cain returns to the room, turning off all the lights as soon as it enters. It moves to the bed and flops down on it with a muffled groan*

@cia-offical

*looks down at it, curious and concerned*

Cain?

Are…you…not alright?

[cia-offical]

Hm..?

*looks around vaguely for Kir*

oh.. I’m.. fine. Yeah. Where are you..?

[mechanical-bird-offical]

I…

I am here, Cain-

*increasingly concerned, flutters down and gently pecks him, landing beside it*

Right here! See me?

[cia-offical]

*moves to cover its head with its hands, seeming to try to crush its skull under its own fingers*

..mhm.

[mechanical-bird-offical]

*Cain returns to the room, turning off all the lights as soon as it enters. It moves to the bed and flops down on it with a muffled groan*

@cia-offical

*looks down at it, curious and concerned*

Cain?

Are…you…not alright?

[cia-offical]

Hm..?

*looks around vaguely for Kir*

oh.. I’m.. fine. Yeah. Where are you..?

[supervillain-offical]

*knocks on Savi’s door again, quietly waiting outside*

@cia-offical

*there’s a shuffling sound, then Savi calls after a moment*

Who is it?

[cia-offical]

(Got too long :/)

thank you

*falls silent. It lifts up its arm to take another sip of the gin*

[supervillain-offical]

*confused, but he nods*

Yeah-

Sure-

[cia-offical]

although… I guess it would be interesting to travel with you all. Chaotic and a mess, but probably interesting.

[supervillain-offical]

*brightens*

You bet it would! And I could expand my career! Where would we go?

[cia-offical]

I don’t know. I’d want to go somewhere I’ve never been before.

[supervillain-offical]

*nods*

Alright so-

Definitely not Russia…or Morocco or wherever the Hell the second place was, Denmark?

…

You’ve probably been a lot of places, right?

[cia-offical]

..every continent ‘cept Antarctica, yeah. Though maybe we shouldn’t… go to Antarctica because you’d have to get your appendix removed.

[supervillain-offical]

Uh. Uh yeah let’s avoid that probably-

Hey, what about Australia? We could visit Lysander there and see Lain in his natural habitat!

[cia-offical]

…I’d rather not melt, but.. good suggestion, I guess.

[supervillain-offical]

Oh right-

Uhhh-

Lots of air conditioning?

[cia-offical]

I’d still rather not. Besides, I’ve been there before, so… that defeats the purpose of the whole “somewhere I’ve never been.”

[supervillain-offical]

Yeah but Cain-

Our only other option is Antarctica-

[cia-offical]

For continents. Just because I’ve been to Asia or Europe several times doesn’t mean I’ve been to every country.

[supervillain-offical]

Ah alright, that’s makes sense. So…which countries haven’t you been to that you wouldn’t die from the heat as soon as you entered?

[cia-offical]

*thinks*

…I’d.. have to consult the map I have in my office for that. I have all the countries I’ve been marked. So… I’ll get back to you on that.

[supervillain-offical]

….oh.

Uh…

Yeah-yeah alright.

[cia-offical]

*drinks the last bit of gin in the glass and pours itself more*

[supervillain-offical]

Any more interesting stories then?

[cia-offical]

uh… can’t think of any.

[supervillain-offical]

*raises an eyebrow*

You’ve been in every continent in the planet and have nothing interesting to tell?

[cia-offical]

in comparison to the shit we get up to on the regular here? Not particularly, no.

[supervillain-offical]

Alright that’s fair.

I guess you’d probably never been to a pizza planet before meeting us.

*grins*

Aren’t you lucky?

[cia-offical]

*dryly*

so very.

[supervillain-offical]

*still grinning*

Obviously because you have the most brilliant supervillain ever to hang out with!

[cia-offical]

*huffs in amusement*

Something like that. You remember when we couldn’t even be in the same room without trying to tear each other’s throats out? That was fun.

[supervillain-offical]

*laughs*

And we used to have to pay you to do anything! *teasing*

Luckily for me, you’d never take advantage of my lack of monetary knowledge.

[cia-offical]

*grins*

Oh, of course not. I’m offended by even such a suggestion!

[supervillain-offical]

*still smiling, sarcastically*

Oh I’m sorry for suggesting so low of you!

[cia-offical]

*jokingly* As you should be.

[supervillain-offical]

*grinning broadly*

I won’t doubt you again!

[cia-offical]

*shakes its head sadly, still joking*

I can’t believe you ever doubted little ol’ me in the first place.

[supervillain-offical]

*also joking*

I can’t either! You’re the very picture of innocence!

[cia-offical]

*snickers*

Exactly. Never done anything wrong in my life.

[supervillain-offical]

*holding back a laugh*

It’s just like I’m always saying! ‘Cain is the most trustworthy guy I know!’

[cia-offical]

*drinks more gin. It rolls its eyes, though is still smiling*

Alright, enough of that. I’m running out of things to add on.

[supervillain-offical]

*laughs*

That’s good, so was I.

So…

*pauses to think*

How is your it-it’s a mechanical bird, right??

[cia-offical]

Yeah. It’s doing alright. At least I think.

[supervillain-offical]

*nods*

Yeah-

That-that’s good.

[cia-offical]

Admittedly, it’s just been in my room the entire time, and I kind of.. haven’t been? So I haven’t really… talked to it all that much since we both got here.

[supervillain-offical]

Gotcha.

*falls silent*

[cia-offical]

I’m sure it’s fine though.

*drains the rest of the glass and goes to refill it*

[supervillain-offical]

*nods*

Yup, probably!

[cia-offical]

*pauses when it reaches for the bottle, deciding to set the glass down instead*

..mm… I think that’s enough for me.

[supervillain-offical]

*nods in agreement*

And you didn’t even give me any real stories!

But hey at least we’ve got a world road trip planned.

[cia-offical]

Hey, you didn’t ask any good questions. I don’t have any “real stories” off the top of my head that compare to what we do on the daily around here.

[supervillain-offical]

*shrugs, jokes*

I’ll just search up the CIA Wikipedia page next time so I have good question.

[cia-offical]

*mutters*

oh, Jesus. I forgot that was there, honestly.

[supervillain-offical]

You forgot about Wikipedia?

[cia-offical]

I mean—I forgot the Agency’s got a page, specifically. Well… it has several. It’s not.. really something I think about in my day to day?

[supervillain-offical]

*nods*

That makes sense.

But anyway, I’ll still have a ton of questions next time!

[cia-offical]

Fine, but don’t ask about the dubious things preferably.

[supervillain-offical]

*fake pouts*

But I said I wanted an interesting story!

[cia-offical]

*tilts its head*

ya really want a story about torture?

[supervillain-offical]

Sure as long as it’s interesting!

[cia-offical]

*shakes its head*

you’re hopeless

[supervillain-offical]

*gasp*

I’m offended!

[cia-offical]

*flatly, though fighting off amusement*

good

[supervillain-offical]

*folds arms, frowns though he’s clearly teasing*

Taking pleasure in my offense?

What ever happened to you being such a trustworthy and innocent being?

[cia-offical]

*hums, then, jokingly*

I dunno, Savi. Hey, by the way, did you know it says ‘gullible’ on the ceiling?

[supervillain-offical]

*sarcastically, hiding a smile*

Oh haha.

[cia-offical]

*sticks its tongue out at Savi. It pauses for a moment*

yknow, I don’t.. really know why I have a tongue. I couldn’t even eat until Heaven gave me the ability to, and I use my voice box to speak, so… I think they were kinda for cosmetics if nothing else.

[supervillain-offical]

*at that, Savi laughs*

Yeah-

That is interesting, I'm sure they made it purely so that you could stick it out at others!

[cia-offical]

*mutters* don’t take that out of context

*clears its throat*

it was probably just to make me look more human, honestly.

[supervillain-offical]

*rolls eyes*

Like I’m going to take my words out of context to make me sound like an idiot.

*nods*

Yeah that makes sense-

Man am I glad you’re able to eat now!

[cia-offical]

Same, honestly.

[supervillain-offical]

Are chocolate cookies still your favorite?

[cia-offical]

I mean, I haven’t exactly been super adventurous with food, so… I guess so. But I don’t have a lot to go off of.

[supervillain-offical]

*nods*

We should have like a buffet or something for you to try stuff once I’m better!

[cia-offical]

Eh… I’m alright. Speaking of, I think I’ve kept you for longer than a check in should take. You’re healing; you need rest. So, I’ll leave you be for now.

*dips its head, moving to the door and leaving*

[supervillain-offical]

*knocks on Savi’s door again, quietly waiting outside*

@cia-offical

*there’s a shuffling sound, then Savi calls after a moment*

Who is it?

[cia-offical]

(Got too long :/)

thank you

*falls silent. It lifts up its arm to take another sip of the gin*

[supervillain-offical]

*confused, but he nods*

Yeah-

Sure-

[cia-offical]

although… I guess it would be interesting to travel with you all. Chaotic and a mess, but probably interesting.

[supervillain-offical]

*brightens*

You bet it would! And I could expand my career! Where would we go?

[cia-offical]

I don’t know. I’d want to go somewhere I’ve never been before.

[supervillain-offical]

*nods*

Alright so-

Definitely not Russia…or Morocco or wherever the Hell the second place was, Denmark?

…

You’ve probably been a lot of places, right?

[cia-offical]

..every continent ‘cept Antarctica, yeah. Though maybe we shouldn’t… go to Antarctica because you’d have to get your appendix removed.

[supervillain-offical]

Uh. Uh yeah let’s avoid that probably-

Hey, what about Australia? We could visit Lysander there and see Lain in his natural habitat!

[cia-offical]

…I’d rather not melt, but.. good suggestion, I guess.

[supervillain-offical]

Oh right-

Uhhh-

Lots of air conditioning?

[cia-offical]

I’d still rather not. Besides, I’ve been there before, so… that defeats the purpose of the whole “somewhere I’ve never been.”

[supervillain-offical]

Yeah but Cain-

Our only other option is Antarctica-

[cia-offical]

For continents. Just because I’ve been to Asia or Europe several times doesn’t mean I’ve been to every country.

[supervillain-offical]

Ah alright, that’s makes sense. So…which countries haven’t you been to that you wouldn’t die from the heat as soon as you entered?

[cia-offical]

*thinks*

…I’d.. have to consult the map I have in my office for that. I have all the countries I’ve been marked. So… I’ll get back to you on that.

[supervillain-offical]

….oh.

Uh…

Yeah-yeah alright.

[cia-offical]

*drinks the last bit of gin in the glass and pours itself more*

[supervillain-offical]

Any more interesting stories then?

[cia-offical]

uh… can’t think of any.

[supervillain-offical]

*raises an eyebrow*

You’ve been in every continent in the planet and have nothing interesting to tell?

[cia-offical]

in comparison to the shit we get up to on the regular here? Not particularly, no.

[supervillain-offical]

Alright that’s fair.

I guess you’d probably never been to a pizza planet before meeting us.

*grins*

Aren’t you lucky?

[cia-offical]

*dryly*

so very.

[supervillain-offical]

*still grinning*

Obviously because you have the most brilliant supervillain ever to hang out with!

[cia-offical]

*huffs in amusement*

Something like that. You remember when we couldn’t even be in the same room without trying to tear each other’s throats out? That was fun.

[supervillain-offical]

*laughs*

And we used to have to pay you to do anything! *teasing*

Luckily for me, you’d never take advantage of my lack of monetary knowledge.

[cia-offical]

*grins*

Oh, of course not. I’m offended by even such a suggestion!

[supervillain-offical]

*still smiling, sarcastically*

Oh I’m sorry for suggesting so low of you!

[cia-offical]

*jokingly* As you should be.

[supervillain-offical]

*grinning broadly*

I won’t doubt you again!

[cia-offical]

*shakes its head sadly, still joking*

I can’t believe you ever doubted little ol’ me in the first place.

[supervillain-offical]

*also joking*

I can’t either! You’re the very picture of innocence!

[cia-offical]

*snickers*

Exactly. Never done anything wrong in my life.

[supervillain-offical]

*holding back a laugh*

It’s just like I’m always saying! ‘Cain is the most trustworthy guy I know!’

[cia-offical]

*drinks more gin. It rolls its eyes, though is still smiling*

Alright, enough of that. I’m running out of things to add on.

[supervillain-offical]

*laughs*

That’s good, so was I.

So…

*pauses to think*

How is your it-it’s a mechanical bird, right??

[cia-offical]

Yeah. It’s doing alright. At least I think.

[supervillain-offical]

*nods*

Yeah-

That-that’s good.

[cia-offical]

Admittedly, it’s just been in my room the entire time, and I kind of.. haven’t been? So I haven’t really… talked to it all that much since we both got here.

[supervillain-offical]

Gotcha.

*falls silent*

[cia-offical]

I’m sure it’s fine though.

*drains the rest of the glass and goes to refill it*

[supervillain-offical]

*nods*

Yup, probably!

[cia-offical]

*pauses when it reaches for the bottle, deciding to set the glass down instead*

..mm… I think that’s enough for me.

[supervillain-offical]

*nods in agreement*

And you didn’t even give me any real stories!

But hey at least we’ve got a world road trip planned.

[cia-offical]

Hey, you didn’t ask any good questions. I don’t have any “real stories” off the top of my head that compare to what we do on the daily around here.

[supervillain-offical]

*shrugs, jokes*

I’ll just search up the CIA Wikipedia page next time so I have good question.

[cia-offical]

*mutters*

oh, Jesus. I forgot that was there, honestly.

[supervillain-offical]

You forgot about Wikipedia?

[cia-offical]

I mean—I forgot the Agency’s got a page, specifically. Well… it has several. It’s not.. really something I think about in my day to day?

[supervillain-offical]

*nods*

That makes sense.

But anyway, I’ll still have a ton of questions next time!

[cia-offical]

Fine, but don’t ask about the dubious things preferably.

[supervillain-offical]

*fake pouts*

But I said I wanted an interesting story!

[cia-offical]

*tilts its head*

ya really want a story about torture?

[supervillain-offical]

Sure as long as it’s interesting!

[cia-offical]

*shakes its head*

you’re hopeless

[supervillain-offical]

*gasp*

I’m offended!

[cia-offical]

*flatly, though fighting off amusement*

good

[supervillain-offical]

*folds arms, frowns though he’s clearly teasing*

Taking pleasure in my offense?

What ever happened to you being such a trustworthy and innocent being?

[cia-offical]

*hums, then, jokingly*

I dunno, Savi. Hey, by the way, did you know it says ‘gullible’ on the ceiling?

[supervillain-offical]

*sarcastically, hiding a smile*

Oh haha.

[cia-offical]

*sticks its tongue out at Savi. It pauses for a moment*

yknow, I don’t.. really know why I have a tongue. I couldn’t even eat until Heaven gave me the ability to, and I use my voice box to speak, so… I think they were kinda for cosmetics if nothing else.

[supervillain-offical]

*at that, Savi laughs*

Yeah-

That is interesting, I'm sure they made it purely so that you could stick it out at others!

[cia-offical]

*mutters* don’t take that out of context

*clears its throat*

it was probably just to make me look more human, honestly.

[supervillain-offical]

*rolls eyes*

Like I’m going to take my words out of context to make me sound like an idiot.

*nods*

Yeah that makes sense-

Man am I glad you’re able to eat now!

[cia-offical]

Same, honestly.

[supervillain-offical]

Are chocolate cookies still your favorite?

[cia-offical]

I mean, I haven’t exactly been super adventurous with food, so… I guess so. But I don’t have a lot to go off of.

[supervillain-offical]

*knocks on Savi’s door again, quietly waiting outside*

@cia-offical

*there’s a shuffling sound, then Savi calls after a moment*

Who is it?

[cia-offical]

(Got too long :/)

thank you

*falls silent. It lifts up its arm to take another sip of the gin*

[supervillain-offical]

*confused, but he nods*

Yeah-

Sure-

[cia-offical]

although… I guess it would be interesting to travel with you all. Chaotic and a mess, but probably interesting.

[supervillain-offical]

*brightens*

You bet it would! And I could expand my career! Where would we go?

[cia-offical]

I don’t know. I’d want to go somewhere I’ve never been before.

[supervillain-offical]

*nods*

Alright so-

Definitely not Russia…or Morocco or wherever the Hell the second place was, Denmark?

…

You’ve probably been a lot of places, right?

[cia-offical]

..every continent ‘cept Antarctica, yeah. Though maybe we shouldn’t… go to Antarctica because you’d have to get your appendix removed.

[supervillain-offical]

Uh. Uh yeah let’s avoid that probably-

Hey, what about Australia? We could visit Lysander there and see Lain in his natural habitat!

[cia-offical]

…I’d rather not melt, but.. good suggestion, I guess.

[supervillain-offical]

Oh right-

Uhhh-

Lots of air conditioning?

[cia-offical]

I’d still rather not. Besides, I’ve been there before, so… that defeats the purpose of the whole “somewhere I’ve never been.”

[supervillain-offical]

Yeah but Cain-

Our only other option is Antarctica-

[cia-offical]

For continents. Just because I’ve been to Asia or Europe several times doesn’t mean I’ve been to every country.

[supervillain-offical]

Ah alright, that’s makes sense. So…which countries haven’t you been to that you wouldn’t die from the heat as soon as you entered?

[cia-offical]

*thinks*

…I’d.. have to consult the map I have in my office for that. I have all the countries I’ve been marked. So… I’ll get back to you on that.

[supervillain-offical]

….oh.

Uh…

Yeah-yeah alright.

[cia-offical]

*drinks the last bit of gin in the glass and pours itself more*

[supervillain-offical]

Any more interesting stories then?

[cia-offical]

uh… can’t think of any.

[supervillain-offical]

*raises an eyebrow*

You’ve been in every continent in the planet and have nothing interesting to tell?

[cia-offical]

in comparison to the shit we get up to on the regular here? Not particularly, no.

[supervillain-offical]

Alright that’s fair.

I guess you’d probably never been to a pizza planet before meeting us.

*grins*

Aren’t you lucky?

[cia-offical]

*dryly*

so very.

[supervillain-offical]

*still grinning*

Obviously because you have the most brilliant supervillain ever to hang out with!

[cia-offical]

*huffs in amusement*

Something like that. You remember when we couldn’t even be in the same room without trying to tear each other’s throats out? That was fun.

[supervillain-offical]

*laughs*

And we used to have to pay you to do anything! *teasing*

Luckily for me, you’d never take advantage of my lack of monetary knowledge.

[cia-offical]

*grins*

Oh, of course not. I’m offended by even such a suggestion!

[supervillain-offical]

*still smiling, sarcastically*

Oh I’m sorry for suggesting so low of you!

[cia-offical]

*jokingly* As you should be.

[supervillain-offical]

*grinning broadly*

I won’t doubt you again!

[cia-offical]

*shakes its head sadly, still joking*

I can’t believe you ever doubted little ol’ me in the first place.

[supervillain-offical]

*also joking*

I can’t either! You’re the very picture of innocence!

[cia-offical]

*snickers*

Exactly. Never done anything wrong in my life.

[supervillain-offical]

*holding back a laugh*

It’s just like I’m always saying! ‘Cain is the most trustworthy guy I know!’

[cia-offical]

*drinks more gin. It rolls its eyes, though is still smiling*

Alright, enough of that. I’m running out of things to add on.

[supervillain-offical]

*laughs*

That’s good, so was I.

So…

*pauses to think*

How is your it-it’s a mechanical bird, right??

[cia-offical]

Yeah. It’s doing alright. At least I think.

[supervillain-offical]

*nods*

Yeah-

That-that’s good.

[cia-offical]

Admittedly, it’s just been in my room the entire time, and I kind of.. haven’t been? So I haven’t really… talked to it all that much since we both got here.

[supervillain-offical]

Gotcha.

*falls silent*

[cia-offical]

I’m sure it’s fine though.

*drains the rest of the glass and goes to refill it*

[supervillain-offical]

*nods*

Yup, probably!

[cia-offical]

*pauses when it reaches for the bottle, deciding to set the glass down instead*

..mm… I think that’s enough for me.

[supervillain-offical]

*nods in agreement*

And you didn’t even give me any real stories!

But hey at least we’ve got a world road trip planned.

[cia-offical]

Hey, you didn’t ask any good questions. I don’t have any “real stories” off the top of my head that compare to what we do on the daily around here.

[supervillain-offical]

*shrugs, jokes*

I’ll just search up the CIA Wikipedia page next time so I have good question.

[cia-offical]

*mutters*

oh, Jesus. I forgot that was there, honestly.

[supervillain-offical]

You forgot about Wikipedia?

[cia-offical]

I mean—I forgot the Agency’s got a page, specifically. Well… it has several. It’s not.. really something I think about in my day to day?

[supervillain-offical]

*nods*

That makes sense.

But anyway, I’ll still have a ton of questions next time!

[cia-offical]

Fine, but don’t ask about the dubious things preferably.

[supervillain-offical]

*fake pouts*

But I said I wanted an interesting story!

[cia-offical]

*tilts its head*

ya really want a story about torture?

[supervillain-offical]

Sure as long as it’s interesting!

[cia-offical]

*shakes its head*

you’re hopeless

[supervillain-offical]

*gasp*

I’m offended!

[cia-offical]

*flatly, though fighting off amusement*

good

[supervillain-offical]

*folds arms, frowns though he’s clearly teasing*

Taking pleasure in my offense?

What ever happened to you being such a trustworthy and innocent being?

[cia-offical]

*hums, then, jokingly*

I dunno, Savi. Hey, by the way, did you know it says ‘gullible’ on the ceiling?

[supervillain-offical]

*sarcastically, hiding a smile*

Oh haha.

[cia-offical]

*sticks its tongue out at Savi. It pauses for a moment*

yknow, I don’t.. really know why I have a tongue. I couldn’t even eat until Heaven gave me the ability to, and I use my voice box to speak, so… I think they were kinda for cosmetics if nothing else.

[supervillain-offical]

*at that, Savi laughs*

Yeah-

That is interesting, I'm sure they made it purely so that you could stick it out at others!

[cia-offical]

*mutters* don’t take that out of context

*clears its throat*

it was probably just to make me look more human, honestly.

[supervillain-offical]

*rolls eyes*

Like I’m going to take my words out of context to make me sound like an idiot.

*nods*

Yeah that makes sense-

Man am I glad you’re able to eat now!

[cia-offical]

Same, honestly.

[supervillain-offical]

*knocks on Savi’s door again, quietly waiting outside*

@cia-offical

*there’s a shuffling sound, then Savi calls after a moment*

Who is it?

[cia-offical]

(Got too long :/)

thank you

*falls silent. It lifts up its arm to take another sip of the gin*

[supervillain-offical]

*confused, but he nods*

Yeah-

Sure-

[cia-offical]

although… I guess it would be interesting to travel with you all. Chaotic and a mess, but probably interesting.

[supervillain-offical]

*brightens*

You bet it would! And I could expand my career! Where would we go?

[cia-offical]

I don’t know. I’d want to go somewhere I’ve never been before.

[supervillain-offical]

*nods*

Alright so-

Definitely not Russia…or Morocco or wherever the Hell the second place was, Denmark?

…

You’ve probably been a lot of places, right?

[cia-offical]

..every continent ‘cept Antarctica, yeah. Though maybe we shouldn’t… go to Antarctica because you’d have to get your appendix removed.

[supervillain-offical]

Uh. Uh yeah let’s avoid that probably-

Hey, what about Australia? We could visit Lysander there and see Lain in his natural habitat!

[cia-offical]

…I’d rather not melt, but.. good suggestion, I guess.

[supervillain-offical]

Oh right-

Uhhh-

Lots of air conditioning?

[cia-offical]

I’d still rather not. Besides, I’ve been there before, so… that defeats the purpose of the whole “somewhere I’ve never been.”

[supervillain-offical]

Yeah but Cain-

Our only other option is Antarctica-

[cia-offical]

For continents. Just because I’ve been to Asia or Europe several times doesn’t mean I’ve been to every country.

[supervillain-offical]

Ah alright, that’s makes sense. So…which countries haven’t you been to that you wouldn’t die from the heat as soon as you entered?

[cia-offical]

*thinks*

…I’d.. have to consult the map I have in my office for that. I have all the countries I’ve been marked. So… I’ll get back to you on that.

[supervillain-offical]

….oh.

Uh…

Yeah-yeah alright.

[cia-offical]

*drinks the last bit of gin in the glass and pours itself more*

[supervillain-offical]

Any more interesting stories then?

[cia-offical]

uh… can’t think of any.

[supervillain-offical]

*raises an eyebrow*

You’ve been in every continent in the planet and have nothing interesting to tell?

[cia-offical]

in comparison to the shit we get up to on the regular here? Not particularly, no.

[supervillain-offical]

Alright that’s fair.

I guess you’d probably never been to a pizza planet before meeting us.

*grins*

Aren’t you lucky?

[cia-offical]

*dryly*

so very.

[supervillain-offical]

*still grinning*

Obviously because you have the most brilliant supervillain ever to hang out with!

[cia-offical]

*huffs in amusement*

Something like that. You remember when we couldn’t even be in the same room without trying to tear each other’s throats out? That was fun.

[supervillain-offical]

*laughs*

And we used to have to pay you to do anything! *teasing*

Luckily for me, you’d never take advantage of my lack of monetary knowledge.

[cia-offical]

*grins*

Oh, of course not. I’m offended by even such a suggestion!

[supervillain-offical]

*still smiling, sarcastically*

Oh I’m sorry for suggesting so low of you!

[cia-offical]

*jokingly* As you should be.

[supervillain-offical]

*grinning broadly*

I won’t doubt you again!

[cia-offical]

*shakes its head sadly, still joking*

I can’t believe you ever doubted little ol’ me in the first place.

[supervillain-offical]

*also joking*

I can’t either! You’re the very picture of innocence!

[cia-offical]

*snickers*

Exactly. Never done anything wrong in my life.

[supervillain-offical]

*holding back a laugh*

It’s just like I’m always saying! ‘Cain is the most trustworthy guy I know!’

[cia-offical]

*drinks more gin. It rolls its eyes, though is still smiling*

Alright, enough of that. I’m running out of things to add on.

[supervillain-offical]

*laughs*

That’s good, so was I.

So…

*pauses to think*

How is your it-it’s a mechanical bird, right??

[cia-offical]

Yeah. It’s doing alright. At least I think.

[supervillain-offical]

*nods*

Yeah-

That-that’s good.

[cia-offical]

Admittedly, it’s just been in my room the entire time, and I kind of.. haven’t been? So I haven’t really… talked to it all that much since we both got here.

[supervillain-offical]

Gotcha.

*falls silent*

[cia-offical]

I’m sure it’s fine though.

*drains the rest of the glass and goes to refill it*

[supervillain-offical]

*nods*

Yup, probably!

[cia-offical]

*pauses when it reaches for the bottle, deciding to set the glass down instead*

..mm… I think that’s enough for me.

[supervillain-offical]

*nods in agreement*

And you didn’t even give me any real stories!

But hey at least we’ve got a world road trip planned.

[cia-offical]

Hey, you didn’t ask any good questions. I don’t have any “real stories” off the top of my head that compare to what we do on the daily around here.

[supervillain-offical]

*shrugs, jokes*

I’ll just search up the CIA Wikipedia page next time so I have good question.

[cia-offical]

*mutters*

oh, Jesus. I forgot that was there, honestly.

[supervillain-offical]

You forgot about Wikipedia?

[cia-offical]

I mean—I forgot the Agency’s got a page, specifically. Well… it has several. It’s not.. really something I think about in my day to day?

[supervillain-offical]

*nods*

That makes sense.

But anyway, I’ll still have a ton of questions next time!

[cia-offical]

Fine, but don’t ask about the dubious things preferably.

[supervillain-offical]

*fake pouts*

But I said I wanted an interesting story!

[cia-offical]

*tilts its head*

ya really want a story about torture?

[supervillain-offical]

Sure as long as it’s interesting!

[cia-offical]

*shakes its head*

you’re hopeless

[supervillain-offical]

*gasp*

I’m offended!

[cia-offical]

*flatly, though fighting off amusement*

good

[supervillain-offical]

*folds arms, frowns though he’s clearly teasing*

Taking pleasure in my offense?

What ever happened to you being such a trustworthy and innocent being?

[cia-offical]

*hums, then, jokingly*

I dunno, Savi. Hey, by the way, did you know it says ‘gullible’ on the ceiling?

[supervillain-offical]

*sarcastically, hiding a smile*

Oh haha.

[cia-offical]

*sticks its tongue out at Savi. It pauses for a moment*

yknow, I don’t.. really know why I have a tongue. I couldn’t even eat until Heaven gave me the ability to, and I use my voice box to speak, so… I think they were kinda for cosmetics if nothing else.

[supervillain-offical]

*at that, Savi laughs*

Yeah-

That is interesting, I'm sure they made it purely so that you could stick it out at others!

[cia-offical]

*mutters* don’t take that out of context

*clears its throat*

it was probably just to make me look more human, honestly.

[supervillain-offical]

*knocks on Savi’s door again, quietly waiting outside*

@cia-offical

*there’s a shuffling sound, then Savi calls after a moment*

Who is it?

[cia-offical]

(Got too long :/)

thank you

*falls silent. It lifts up its arm to take another sip of the gin*

[supervillain-offical]

*confused, but he nods*

Yeah-

Sure-

[cia-offical]

although… I guess it would be interesting to travel with you all. Chaotic and a mess, but probably interesting.

[supervillain-offical]

*brightens*

You bet it would! And I could expand my career! Where would we go?

[cia-offical]

I don’t know. I’d want to go somewhere I’ve never been before.

[supervillain-offical]

*nods*

Alright so-

Definitely not Russia…or Morocco or wherever the Hell the second place was, Denmark?

…

You’ve probably been a lot of places, right?

[cia-offical]

..every continent ‘cept Antarctica, yeah. Though maybe we shouldn’t… go to Antarctica because you’d have to get your appendix removed.

[supervillain-offical]

Uh. Uh yeah let’s avoid that probably-

Hey, what about Australia? We could visit Lysander there and see Lain in his natural habitat!

[cia-offical]

…I’d rather not melt, but.. good suggestion, I guess.

[supervillain-offical]

Oh right-

Uhhh-

Lots of air conditioning?

[cia-offical]

I’d still rather not. Besides, I’ve been there before, so… that defeats the purpose of the whole “somewhere I’ve never been.”

[supervillain-offical]

Yeah but Cain-

Our only other option is Antarctica-

[cia-offical]

For continents. Just because I’ve been to Asia or Europe several times doesn’t mean I’ve been to every country.

[supervillain-offical]

Ah alright, that’s makes sense. So…which countries haven’t you been to that you wouldn’t die from the heat as soon as you entered?

[cia-offical]

*thinks*

…I’d.. have to consult the map I have in my office for that. I have all the countries I’ve been marked. So… I’ll get back to you on that.

[supervillain-offical]

….oh.

Uh…

Yeah-yeah alright.

[cia-offical]

*drinks the last bit of gin in the glass and pours itself more*

[supervillain-offical]

Any more interesting stories then?

[cia-offical]

uh… can’t think of any.

[supervillain-offical]

*raises an eyebrow*

You’ve been in every continent in the planet and have nothing interesting to tell?

[cia-offical]

in comparison to the shit we get up to on the regular here? Not particularly, no.

[supervillain-offical]

Alright that’s fair.

I guess you’d probably never been to a pizza planet before meeting us.

*grins*

Aren’t you lucky?

[cia-offical]

*dryly*

so very.

[supervillain-offical]

*still grinning*

Obviously because you have the most brilliant supervillain ever to hang out with!

[cia-offical]

*huffs in amusement*

Something like that. You remember when we couldn’t even be in the same room without trying to tear each other’s throats out? That was fun.

[supervillain-offical]

*laughs*

And we used to have to pay you to do anything! *teasing*

Luckily for me, you’d never take advantage of my lack of monetary knowledge.

[cia-offical]

*grins*

Oh, of course not. I’m offended by even such a suggestion!

[supervillain-offical]

*still smiling, sarcastically*

Oh I’m sorry for suggesting so low of you!

[cia-offical]

*jokingly* As you should be.

[supervillain-offical]

*grinning broadly*

I won’t doubt you again!

[cia-offical]

*shakes its head sadly, still joking*

I can’t believe you ever doubted little ol’ me in the first place.

[supervillain-offical]

*also joking*

I can’t either! You’re the very picture of innocence!

[cia-offical]

*snickers*

Exactly. Never done anything wrong in my life.

[supervillain-offical]

*holding back a laugh*

It’s just like I’m always saying! ‘Cain is the most trustworthy guy I know!’

[cia-offical]

*drinks more gin. It rolls its eyes, though is still smiling*

Alright, enough of that. I’m running out of things to add on.

[supervillain-offical]

*laughs*

That’s good, so was I.

So…

*pauses to think*

How is your it-it’s a mechanical bird, right??

[cia-offical]

Yeah. It’s doing alright. At least I think.

[supervillain-offical]

*nods*

Yeah-

That-that’s good.

[cia-offical]

Admittedly, it’s just been in my room the entire time, and I kind of.. haven’t been? So I haven’t really… talked to it all that much since we both got here.

[supervillain-offical]

Gotcha.

*falls silent*

[cia-offical]

I’m sure it’s fine though.

*drains the rest of the glass and goes to refill it*

[supervillain-offical]

*nods*

Yup, probably!

[cia-offical]

*pauses when it reaches for the bottle, deciding to set the glass down instead*

..mm… I think that’s enough for me.

[supervillain-offical]

*nods in agreement*

And you didn’t even give me any real stories!

But hey at least we’ve got a world road trip planned.

[cia-offical]

Hey, you didn’t ask any good questions. I don’t have any “real stories” off the top of my head that compare to what we do on the daily around here.

[supervillain-offical]

*shrugs, jokes*

I’ll just search up the CIA Wikipedia page next time so I have good question.

[cia-offical]

*mutters*

oh, Jesus. I forgot that was there, honestly.

[supervillain-offical]

You forgot about Wikipedia?

[cia-offical]

I mean—I forgot the Agency’s got a page, specifically. Well… it has several. It’s not.. really something I think about in my day to day?

[supervillain-offical]

*nods*

That makes sense.

But anyway, I’ll still have a ton of questions next time!

[cia-offical]

Fine, but don’t ask about the dubious things preferably.

[supervillain-offical]

*fake pouts*

But I said I wanted an interesting story!

[cia-offical]

*tilts its head*

ya really want a story about torture?

[supervillain-offical]

Sure as long as it’s interesting!

[cia-offical]

*shakes its head*

you’re hopeless

[supervillain-offical]

*gasp*

I’m offended!

[cia-offical]

*flatly, though fighting off amusement*

good

[supervillain-offical]

*folds arms, frowns though he’s clearly teasing*

Taking pleasure in my offense?

What ever happened to you being such a trustworthy and innocent being?

[cia-offical]

*hums, then, jokingly*

I dunno, Savi. Hey, by the way, did you know it says ‘gullible’ on the ceiling?

[supervillain-offical]

*sarcastically, hiding a smile*

Oh haha.

[cia-offical]

*sticks its tongue out at Savi. It pauses for a moment*

yknow, I don’t.. really know why I have a tongue. I couldn’t even eat until Heaven gave me the ability to, and I use my voice box to speak, so… I think they were kinda for cosmetics if nothing else.

[supervillain-offical]

*knocks on Savi’s door again, quietly waiting outside*

@cia-offical

*there’s a shuffling sound, then Savi calls after a moment*

Who is it?

[cia-offical]

(Got too long :/)

thank you

*falls silent. It lifts up its arm to take another sip of the gin*

[supervillain-offical]

*confused, but he nods*

Yeah-

Sure-

[cia-offical]

although… I guess it would be interesting to travel with you all. Chaotic and a mess, but probably interesting.

[supervillain-offical]

*brightens*

You bet it would! And I could expand my career! Where would we go?

[cia-offical]

I don’t know. I’d want to go somewhere I’ve never been before.

[supervillain-offical]

*nods*

Alright so-

Definitely not Russia…or Morocco or wherever the Hell the second place was, Denmark?

…

You’ve probably been a lot of places, right?

[cia-offical]

..every continent ‘cept Antarctica, yeah. Though maybe we shouldn’t… go to Antarctica because you’d have to get your appendix removed.

[supervillain-offical]

Uh. Uh yeah let’s avoid that probably-

Hey, what about Australia? We could visit Lysander there and see Lain in his natural habitat!

[cia-offical]

…I’d rather not melt, but.. good suggestion, I guess.

[supervillain-offical]

Oh right-

Uhhh-

Lots of air conditioning?

[cia-offical]

I’d still rather not. Besides, I’ve been there before, so… that defeats the purpose of the whole “somewhere I’ve never been.”

[supervillain-offical]

Yeah but Cain-

Our only other option is Antarctica-

[cia-offical]

For continents. Just because I’ve been to Asia or Europe several times doesn’t mean I’ve been to every country.

[supervillain-offical]

Ah alright, that’s makes sense. So…which countries haven’t you been to that you wouldn’t die from the heat as soon as you entered?

[cia-offical]

*thinks*

…I’d.. have to consult the map I have in my office for that. I have all the countries I’ve been marked. So… I’ll get back to you on that.

[supervillain-offical]

….oh.

Uh…

Yeah-yeah alright.

[cia-offical]

*drinks the last bit of gin in the glass and pours itself more*

[supervillain-offical]

Any more interesting stories then?

[cia-offical]

uh… can’t think of any.

[supervillain-offical]

*raises an eyebrow*

You’ve been in every continent in the planet and have nothing interesting to tell?

[cia-offical]

in comparison to the shit we get up to on the regular here? Not particularly, no.

[supervillain-offical]

Alright that’s fair.

I guess you’d probably never been to a pizza planet before meeting us.

*grins*

Aren’t you lucky?

[cia-offical]

*dryly*

so very.

[supervillain-offical]

*still grinning*

Obviously because you have the most brilliant supervillain ever to hang out with!

[cia-offical]

*huffs in amusement*

Something like that. You remember when we couldn’t even be in the same room without trying to tear each other’s throats out? That was fun.

[supervillain-offical]

*laughs*

And we used to have to pay you to do anything! *teasing*

Luckily for me, you’d never take advantage of my lack of monetary knowledge.

[cia-offical]

*grins*

Oh, of course not. I’m offended by even such a suggestion!

[supervillain-offical]

*still smiling, sarcastically*

Oh I’m sorry for suggesting so low of you!

[cia-offical]

*jokingly* As you should be.

[supervillain-offical]

*grinning broadly*

I won’t doubt you again!

[cia-offical]

*shakes its head sadly, still joking*

I can’t believe you ever doubted little ol’ me in the first place.

[supervillain-offical]

*also joking*

I can’t either! You’re the very picture of innocence!

[cia-offical]

*snickers*

Exactly. Never done anything wrong in my life.

[supervillain-offical]

*holding back a laugh*

It’s just like I’m always saying! ‘Cain is the most trustworthy guy I know!’

[cia-offical]

*drinks more gin. It rolls its eyes, though is still smiling*

Alright, enough of that. I’m running out of things to add on.

[supervillain-offical]

*laughs*

That’s good, so was I.

So…

*pauses to think*

How is your it-it’s a mechanical bird, right??

[cia-offical]

Yeah. It’s doing alright. At least I think.

[supervillain-offical]

*nods*

Yeah-

That-that’s good.

[cia-offical]

Admittedly, it’s just been in my room the entire time, and I kind of.. haven’t been? So I haven’t really… talked to it all that much since we both got here.

[supervillain-offical]

Gotcha.

*falls silent*

[cia-offical]

I’m sure it’s fine though.

*drains the rest of the glass and goes to refill it*

[supervillain-offical]

*nods*

Yup, probably!

[cia-offical]

*pauses when it reaches for the bottle, deciding to set the glass down instead*

..mm… I think that’s enough for me.

[supervillain-offical]

*nods in agreement*

And you didn’t even give me any real stories!

But hey at least we’ve got a world road trip planned.

[cia-offical]

Hey, you didn’t ask any good questions. I don’t have any “real stories” off the top of my head that compare to what we do on the daily around here.

[supervillain-offical]

*shrugs, jokes*

I’ll just search up the CIA Wikipedia page next time so I have good question.

[cia-offical]

*mutters*

oh, Jesus. I forgot that was there, honestly.

[supervillain-offical]

You forgot about Wikipedia?

[cia-offical]

I mean—I forgot the Agency’s got a page, specifically. Well… it has several. It’s not.. really something I think about in my day to day?

[supervillain-offical]

*nods*

That makes sense.

But anyway, I’ll still have a ton of questions next time!

[cia-offical]

Fine, but don’t ask about the dubious things preferably.

[supervillain-offical]

*fake pouts*

But I said I wanted an interesting story!

[cia-offical]

*tilts its head*

ya really want a story about torture?

[supervillain-offical]

Sure as long as it’s interesting!

[cia-offical]

*shakes its head*

you’re hopeless

[supervillain-offical]

*gasp*

I’m offended!

[cia-offical]

*flatly, though fighting off amusement*

good

[supervillain-offical]

*folds arms, frowns though he’s clearly teasing*

Taking pleasure in my offense?

What ever happened to you being such a trustworthy and innocent being?

[cia-offical]

*hums, then, jokingly*

I dunno, Savi. Hey, by the way, did you know it says ‘gullible’ on the ceiling?

[supervillain-offical]

*knocks on Savi’s door again, quietly waiting outside*

@cia-offical

*there’s a shuffling sound, then Savi calls after a moment*

Who is it?

[cia-offical]

(Got too long :/)

thank you

*falls silent. It lifts up its arm to take another sip of the gin*

[supervillain-offical]

*confused, but he nods*

Yeah-

Sure-

[cia-offical]

although… I guess it would be interesting to travel with you all. Chaotic and a mess, but probably interesting.

[supervillain-offical]

*brightens*

You bet it would! And I could expand my career! Where would we go?

[cia-offical]

I don’t know. I’d want to go somewhere I’ve never been before.

[supervillain-offical]

*nods*

Alright so-

Definitely not Russia…or Morocco or wherever the Hell the second place was, Denmark?

…

You’ve probably been a lot of places, right?

[cia-offical]

..every continent ‘cept Antarctica, yeah. Though maybe we shouldn’t… go to Antarctica because you’d have to get your appendix removed.

[supervillain-offical]

Uh. Uh yeah let’s avoid that probably-

Hey, what about Australia? We could visit Lysander there and see Lain in his natural habitat!

[cia-offical]

…I’d rather not melt, but.. good suggestion, I guess.

[supervillain-offical]

Oh right-

Uhhh-

Lots of air conditioning?

[cia-offical]

I’d still rather not. Besides, I’ve been there before, so… that defeats the purpose of the whole “somewhere I’ve never been.”

[supervillain-offical]

Yeah but Cain-

Our only other option is Antarctica-

[cia-offical]

For continents. Just because I’ve been to Asia or Europe several times doesn’t mean I’ve been to every country.

[supervillain-offical]

Ah alright, that’s makes sense. So…which countries haven’t you been to that you wouldn’t die from the heat as soon as you entered?

[cia-offical]

*thinks*

…I’d.. have to consult the map I have in my office for that. I have all the countries I’ve been marked. So… I’ll get back to you on that.

[supervillain-offical]

….oh.

Uh…

Yeah-yeah alright.

[cia-offical]

*drinks the last bit of gin in the glass and pours itself more*

[supervillain-offical]

Any more interesting stories then?

[cia-offical]

uh… can’t think of any.

[supervillain-offical]

*raises an eyebrow*

You’ve been in every continent in the planet and have nothing interesting to tell?

[cia-offical]

in comparison to the shit we get up to on the regular here? Not particularly, no.

[supervillain-offical]

Alright that’s fair.

I guess you’d probably never been to a pizza planet before meeting us.

*grins*

Aren’t you lucky?

[cia-offical]

*dryly*

so very.

[supervillain-offical]

*still grinning*

Obviously because you have the most brilliant supervillain ever to hang out with!

[cia-offical]

*huffs in amusement*

Something like that. You remember when we couldn’t even be in the same room without trying to tear each other’s throats out? That was fun.

[supervillain-offical]

*laughs*

And we used to have to pay you to do anything! *teasing*

Luckily for me, you’d never take advantage of my lack of monetary knowledge.

[cia-offical]

*grins*

Oh, of course not. I’m offended by even such a suggestion!

[supervillain-offical]

*still smiling, sarcastically*

Oh I’m sorry for suggesting so low of you!

[cia-offical]

*jokingly* As you should be.

[supervillain-offical]

*grinning broadly*

I won’t doubt you again!

[cia-offical]

*shakes its head sadly, still joking*

I can’t believe you ever doubted little ol’ me in the first place.

[supervillain-offical]

*also joking*

I can’t either! You’re the very picture of innocence!

[cia-offical]

*snickers*

Exactly. Never done anything wrong in my life.

[supervillain-offical]

*holding back a laugh*

It’s just like I’m always saying! ‘Cain is the most trustworthy guy I know!’

[cia-offical]

*drinks more gin. It rolls its eyes, though is still smiling*

Alright, enough of that. I’m running out of things to add on.

[supervillain-offical]

*laughs*

That’s good, so was I.

So…

*pauses to think*

How is your it-it’s a mechanical bird, right??

[cia-offical]

Yeah. It’s doing alright. At least I think.

[supervillain-offical]

*nods*

Yeah-

That-that’s good.

[cia-offical]

Admittedly, it’s just been in my room the entire time, and I kind of.. haven’t been? So I haven’t really… talked to it all that much since we both got here.

[supervillain-offical]

Gotcha.

*falls silent*

[cia-offical]

I’m sure it’s fine though.

*drains the rest of the glass and goes to refill it*

[supervillain-offical]

*nods*

Yup, probably!

[cia-offical]

*pauses when it reaches for the bottle, deciding to set the glass down instead*

..mm… I think that’s enough for me.

[supervillain-offical]

*nods in agreement*

And you didn’t even give me any real stories!

But hey at least we’ve got a world road trip planned.

[cia-offical]

Hey, you didn’t ask any good questions. I don’t have any “real stories” off the top of my head that compare to what we do on the daily around here.

[supervillain-offical]

*shrugs, jokes*

I’ll just search up the CIA Wikipedia page next time so I have good question.

[cia-offical]

*mutters*

oh, Jesus. I forgot that was there, honestly.

[supervillain-offical]

You forgot about Wikipedia?

[cia-offical]

I mean—I forgot the Agency’s got a page, specifically. Well… it has several. It’s not.. really something I think about in my day to day?

[supervillain-offical]

*nods*

That makes sense.

But anyway, I’ll still have a ton of questions next time!

[cia-offical]

Fine, but don’t ask about the dubious things preferably.

[supervillain-offical]

*fake pouts*

But I said I wanted an interesting story!

[cia-offical]

*tilts its head*

ya really want a story about torture?

[supervillain-offical]

Sure as long as it’s interesting!

[cia-offical]

*shakes its head*

you’re hopeless

[supervillain-offical]

*gasp*

I’m offended!

[cia-offical]

*flatly, though fighting off amusement*

good