F̶o̶u̶r̶ Five Years of Philly.

I moved out of NY to go to grad school in Philly. Then I went to MA for four years. Now I’m back in NY (it’s been six years). 📍Brooklyn.

[samreich]

fuck me i guess 🥰

[anxietyproblem]

[random-fantasy]

Astronomical sphere ring

[bunnyboydakota]

New commission sheet!

[bunnyboydakota]

New commission sheet!

[ur-daily-inspiration]

[depsidase]

[ciarastarling]

Am I THAT broken?

I’m supposed to be doing great. I’m in a successful relationship, I started my own business, I make my own hours, I get to sleep in most days, everything is, for lack of a better work, perfect. So why am I depressed? I don’t enjoy the things I used to. I go through motions. I am in a better mood after I’ve worked for a few hours, but does that mean I’m only happy when I’m making improvements…

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[ciarastarling]

Rocky Road

It’s almost two months later and “rocky road” is probably the best way to describe how it’s been going. There are certainly positives, but there are certainly negatives too. It’s easy to remember why I wanted to be single; why, even though it was lonely, I enjoyed spending time with myself: there are very few complaints from myself. Although I will definitely find times to hate myself for…

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[ciarastarling]

self-sabotage

So here’s the latest, and the way my brain has historically worked (against me): The Boy and I are good. So good, in fact, that we admitted to loving one another just recently. “Great! Congrats!” you say? Hold that thought.

Since that time, my brain has found a way to plant fear and doubt into my pretty little love story. For starters, the dreams. Two of them, in succession, about him wanting…

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[ciarastarling]

self-sabotage

So here’s the latest, and the way my brain has historically worked (against me): The Boy and I are good. So good, in fact, that we admitted to loving one another just recently. “Great! Congrats!” you say? Hold that thought.

Since that time, my brain has found a way to plant fear and doubt into my pretty little love story. For starters, the dreams. Two of them, in succession, about him wanting…

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[wilwheaton]

[ciarastarling]

Buy some stamps (from the USPS directly).

[ciarastarling]

One of those super boring blog posts.

One of those super boring blog posts.

It was one off those 10-hour days where I had little time to myself, and I don’t remember these even though they occur so regularly. So avert your eyes, general public, this one’s just for me, someday 10 or 20 years down the road…

I had the worst night. Actually, I had a good night, I played guitar at 3 a.m., something I haven’t done in a while, with the expectation that I could stay in bed…

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[ciarastarling]

The saga continues...

The saga continues…

I have done a thing. I have agreed to share my 2020 Happy Place with The Boy. I’ve also agreed to share my personal space while I’m working, which could go horribly, and in advance of sharing my 2020 Happy Place.

He was here two days ago. We have spoken now each day since then (on the actual phone like old people). I even think he almost canceled plans (albeit tentative ones) to join me on a…

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[ciarastarling]

Not unexpectedly (and because he hasn’t had his own dedicated blog post)...

Not unexpectedly (and because he hasn’t had his own dedicated blog post)…

Twenty years ago (when I was 18), I met a boy. He was at a small get-together at a friend’s house, that I recently learned (maybe knew but forgot, in that case, recently re-learned) was through some randos connecting with my friends on some web-based service (AOL?) because that’s what you did in 2000. It was all the rage. A/S/L … 18/f/Long Island, NY … done deal. So this boy, who doesn’t notrese…

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[ciarastarling]

Savage Love

I was cruising down 3rd Ave Sunday on my way to pick up all of my therapy things from the old office and stash them in my basement until I have another office (fingers crossed for 6 months from now)… when I got stuck at the 9th St light (as I so oft do). This is only significant for one reason: I went on one and only date during the last year, and it was here. The restaurant, called Bar Tano, was…

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[ciarastarling]

Hello again, cruel world.

Hello again, cruel world.

You think you could get rid of me that easily, based on my absence for almost three entire years? Ha! Think again! I may take breaks, but I never really leave. I did start a new blog though more recently that I all but forgot about. That one’s been a little heavy though, and this is fairly light. Relatively, anyway.

Full disclosure, I was looking for my old “video blogs,” which I made (2006,…

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