Current sexuality:
A healthy mix of wanting to go skinny dipping in Chris Pine’s eyes and the intense desire to have Gal Gadot teach me why men are not necessary for pleasure.
I have never been so bi in my life.

No title available
RMH

Discoholic 🪩
occasionally subtle

roma★
Claire Keane
Show & Tell

Love Begins
Noah Kahan
$LAYYYTER
taylor price
we're not kids anymore.
noise dept.
d e v o n
Jules of Nature
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Keni
Game of Thrones Daily

shark vs the universe
cherry valley forever
seen from United States
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seen from Mexico

seen from Malaysia
seen from Peru
seen from Poland

seen from United States

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seen from Iraq
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@ciceloo
Current sexuality:
A healthy mix of wanting to go skinny dipping in Chris Pine’s eyes and the intense desire to have Gal Gadot teach me why men are not necessary for pleasure.
I have never been so bi in my life.
On Saturday I went to the opera with a friend and we started putting together an Objectively Perfect romantic fantasy. It goes like this:
SHE is a high-powered highly paid something in the City. Executives tremble before her. She is in her forties and wears exquisitely tailored suits and works fourteen hour days. She does not have time for love.
YOU are a poverty-stricken late-twenties millennial who will never be able to afford a house.
You meet by chance (you are a waitress at a corporate event, perhaps.) She has been thinking of setting up a mistress for a while. She buys you a cottage in the country. She does not live there: she has a flat in central London worth seven figures. Every other weekend she comes down to visit you, in your cottage, and her only requirements are that you need to have cooked something and you should be wearing a low-cut top. She has given you a credit card so you can buy the kind of clothes she likes to see you in. She really does not mind what you do with yourself the rest of the time. Every once in a while she needs a date to an event (an opera, gallery opening, colleague’s wedding to his fourth wife). Sometimes this involves flying you out to New York. The flight is always business class.
She is pretty bossy in the bedroom, but you’re into that.
Eventually you fall in love, but it takes a while because she is so, so busy. Meanwhile you look after your little cottage, practice cooking delicious food, and work on your book. It is heaven.
(She looks a bit like Cate Blanchett in a designer suit. You look like whatever your favourite result is when you Google ‘cute floral dress’.)
Omg
What’s better than this?! The Wonder Woman theme was performed on an electric cello?!!
#just end me #someone add fireworks to that cello and strap her to a truck in the wasteland shredding to valhalla
Y’ALL THAT IS TINA GUO AND YES SHE PERFORMED THE WONDER WOMAN THEME FOR THE MOVE SCORE.
a muggleborn student coming to hogwarts with a thermos flask and filling it with tea in the morning so it stays hot all day and their pureblood friends are like “whoa what spell did you use for that” and they’re like “?????? it’s just a thermos???” and all the pureblood students start pointing their wands at cups and saying “THERMOS”
THERMOS
plot twist: it works, mugs suddenly start keeping tea at the perfect temperature for the caster all day. students in muggle studies start experimenting with other muggle jargon and a new generation of magic spells are born, propelling the stagnated wizard community into the technological age
*points wand at book* KINDLE!!!! *book propels itself into fireplace and bursts into flames* I FUCKED UP I FUCKED UP
TIME MAGAZINE SNAPPED
“if you have a bit of stress then you can use this, but if you have a lot of stress use this one”
oh god I just lost it laughing
Cooking Shows I’d Want To Watch:
Two chefs are given what the average person visiting a food shelf for a family of four might be given. They must make five delicious meals from it, with a little help from the /very/ limited (Flour, salt, black pepper, red pepper, garlic powder, sugar, baking soda), pantry, within the thirty minute time limit.
Chefs who don’t normally cook kosher are given a quick lesson in what is kosher. They are then given a basket of theme ingredients, or maybe an Iron Chef style single ingredient, and they must make a delicious meal from it while following the rules of kosher within the thirty minute time limit.
The chef is given a judging panel of four people with dietary restrictions, either due to allergies, or religious or moral reasons. They must make a meal that the whole panel can eat and enjoy in the thirty minute time limit.
Michelin star rated chefs are pitted against each other, having to cook dishes, 3-7 year old children and their parents, both enjoy. So the parents can’t influence the kids to try stuff, the panels are served separately.
Anthony Bourdain, and Gordon Ramsay. Sesame Street. Basically, Gordon Ramsay and Anthony Bourdain compete against each other for a panel of judges in a format similar to Iron Chef. The secret ingredient is some kind of vegetable or other food kids don’t eat. The Sesame Street muppets, probably either Abby Cadabby, Big Bird, Elmo, or Cookie Monster, play the role of the floor reporters, Kermit, Bert, and Ernie are the commentators. The panel of judges, a group of young children, decide the winner. Whomever wins gets $10,000 to donate to a children’s related charity of their choice.
Coconut Shrimp
Really nice recipes. Every hour.
Show me what you cooked!
May the 4th be with you!
not to be a normie but when is honorary lesbian hozier going to emerge from his monastic isolation in a beautiful stone cottage in the irish countryside to give us more dark acoustic love ballads about things like moss growing on my gf’s face while we make out for 40 years in the middle of stonehenge just wondering
listen the three most Bisexual Things™ in this world are puns, finger guns and leather jackets
CAN CONFIRM.
My Remedy for the Blues! 💙
why am I like this though
I’M SORRY, FROM YOUR YEARS OF CONDESCENDING TOWARD THE ‘SQUISHY SCIENCES’, I ASSUMED YOU’D BE A LITTLE HARDER.
Having had to spend all of college listening to physics majors at Caltech talk about stamp collecting while I was trying to teach them biology, fucking thank you, Randall Munroe.
me, after reading American Gods multiple times: Shadow Moon is an incredibly complex, well-written character, who gets more likeable with every re-read, and he's one of the most interesting male protagonists I've ever seen.
me, after watching the pilot of American Gods once: shadow moon is my boyfriend and also he has never done a single wrong thing in his life???? and also i love him???
anyone else get a fuzzy-restless feeling when you need to do something but your brain won’t focus on anything and you’re silently begging yourself to just do one thing but instead you’re scrolling tumblr even though you don’t even want to be … it’s like your head is filled with heavy electric cotton like you’re both uncomfy and unable to stop
This is the best damn description of executive dysfunction I have ever heard
John Silver + Curls (✿◠‿◠)
for @ellelan <3
aka the evolution of John Silver’s character development as represented by his facial hair.