goodbyes too soon @cicelyharrison - Tumblr Blog

Dear Younger Me,

Hi there, younger me. It's older you, Cicely, writing you a letter. Honestly, I didn't really want to do this, but my therapist recommended it, so I figured I might as well give it a shot. Yes, therapist. Before you jump to conclusions, let me give you the good stuff.

You're happy, okay? You're beyond happy. You're finally at peace with yourself. What does that mean? Well, believe it or not, your arms aren't red anymore, and the world didn't end when you put that razor down. I mean, that world ended, but yours didn't. Yes, you're still breathing at the age of 25, and you're the best person that you have ever been. You know that legend of the phoenix rising from the ashes? That's you, as fucking corny as it is. You literally burnt yourself down and started from the ground up. As intimidating as that sounds, look forward to it. Your life is a hypothetical roller coaster. Right as you think that the ride has slowed down enough for you to jump off, it speeds up again, and it's worth sitting through the slow parts for.

Whoever you think you're dating right now, throw it out the window. It's not who you'll ever expect. But that doesn't make it a bad thing, not at all. The best thing that'll happen for you is realizing that this person is the person that you want to be with forever. He's helped you through every single obstacle that you have encountered, and he'll keep being your better half until the day that you die. It may never seem like he'll be yours, but he will. He'll be all yours in just a few years.

Who is it? You'll just have to wait around to figure that out, right? (If you don't get that right now, baby Cici, don't walk the Golden Gate Bridge. Just trust me.)

That's all of the important parts, asshole. Yeah, I get to call you an asshole, because whatever the hell you think you're doing with your life right now isn't cool. It won't help you later on. Anyways, here's just some random helpful tips if you want them. You don't have to listen to me, but I think I know what I'm talking about.

1.) Never go to Beverly Hills. Just don't. Wait until someone invites you to go.

2.) Whatever you think is a big deal right now, probably isn't that big of a deal.

3.) Don't judge people based on their choice of pants. If your best friend wants to wear shorts all the time, let him.

4.) Yeah, your best friend is a guy. It isn't Devon. Or Trevor. Boys with blonde hair can do that to you.

5.) Devon is still hella cool. Hang out with her more.

6.) If you're ever in a hospital bed and you see scissors, no matter what you're thinking, don't touch them. You'll thank me when you go to job interviews.

7.) Getting help is okay.

And my final advice to you, younger me, is to keep going. Because no matter how much shit you go through, how many people you piss off, how many break ups you have, how many marks on your skin, you're always going to come out on top. You're a winner, Cicely, and you fought a hell of a battle to get here.

Love,

Cicely Lorelei Harrison

#IM SCREAMING WHAT DID I JUST DO #para

lucky ones // miles+cicely

Miles: put a hand up to his chin and felt the prickles of his beard, frowning as he looked down to her. "You don't like it? I think it makes me look manly." He laughed and sat up a little in the bed. She kissed him and he smiled, wrapping his arms around her as she snuggled into him. "You're freezing, baby, c'mere." He grabbed the small throw blanket from the end of the bed and draped it over her. "I'm always warm, you know that." He smiled again, just happy to have her home.

Cicely: laughed again. "I don't like it, but I don't dislike it." She said. His warmth surrounded her more than any blanket ever could, and it was like there was a constant radiance of love and heat. His words melted into her, and there was something about the way that he called her baby that made her heart swell. She stayed snuggled up into him as he wrapped her in the blanket, and it was right then when she was seriously grateful for already wearing leggings. "Of course I know that, you just seem especially cozy right now. Maybe it's just because I haven't been with you for like a week." She replied with a grin.

#thread #lo

lucky ones // miles+cicely

Miles: pulled her up to him so they were face to face. Her skin looked slightly burnt and she looked exhausted, but she was beautiful. "It's not even just preschoolers, Cic. Everyone loves goldfish." He laughed and watching her cheeks fill with color. "My week was very eventful, actually. I had work from open to close almost every day, came home, ate basically all the food in the kitchen for dinner, watched tons of movies, you know, the usual." He laughed. "Oh, by the way, we don't have any food. So tomorrow once you're rested we need to go shopping." He moved forward and touched his nose to hers.

Cicely: laughed at the thought of Miles' daily routine. It seemed about right for him. She lifted a hand to his check and grinned. "You need to shave, by the way." The thought of no food being in the kitchen worried her, but there was no way that she was leaving this bed now that she was here. "That's alright, I don't mind. I haven't been shopping in what feels like forever." She smiled as his nose touched hers, and she was shocked at their temperature difference. "You're so warm, oh my god." She said, pecking a kiss in his lips before she nuzzled into him.

#thread #lo

lucky ones // miles+cicely

Miles: heard the door unlock from his place in the bedroom, and smiled. It'd only been a week since he'd seen Cicely, but it'd seemed like much longer. He was about to get up to say hello, but he was stopped by her sudden appearance in the doorframe. His grin grew wider and he braced himself as she landed on top of him. Her arms went around him and he kissed the top of her head. "Hi babe, I missed you. I hope your flight wasn't too awful." He smiled, breathing in and smelling her perfume, something he'd missed this past week without her. "Did you learn anything fun and exciting?" He teased, tucking a strand of her dark hair around her ear.

Cicely: buried her face into Miles' chest, taking a breath of his fresh scent. Truth be told, her flight was awful, but to her right now, that didn't matter. She moved to look at him, his blue eyes the only thing in her field of vision. "I learned that I hate being away from you, and I learned that preschoolers love goldfish." She joked, her face beginning to flush. "Both of which, might I add, were horribly obvious." Her laugher echoed through the room and she sighed. "How was your week?" She added.

#lo #thread

lucky ones // miles+cicely

Cicely: bounded in through the front door of her and Miles' shared apartment. Her purse was swinging off of one arm, and her hair was windswept and messy. It was oddly windy outside for Brooksville in March, but it was beautiful weather nonetheless. Tossing her purse down on the kitchen counter, she peeled off her coat and boots and set them by the front door. She raced down the hallway towards her bedroom where Miles was most likely to be. Her socks slid on the wood floors as she rounded the final corner and she flung straight into the bedroom. "Miles?" She asked breathlessly into the open room. Locating him on the bed, she got a running start and launched herself on top of the duvet, wrapping her arms around the boy. "Baby! I'm hoooommmeee!"

#me #literally cici like 90% of the time

Cicely felt her heart flutter at the mention of him thinking about her, but she tried to ignore the shivers and the kiss that went along with it. She nodded at him thinking about the future, and her stomach dropped when he mentioned Calvin. It was extremely common for him to...

cicelyharrison

Cicely felt her cheeks rush with heat as he spoke, brushing her fingers up over his face. "I'm excited for our future. We have a big one ahead of us." She giggled, moving one of her hands down to her stomach. She listened to his words about Calvin and how they should have met, and she couldnt help but to agree with him. They should have been able to meet. But if he would have besn around, it would be hard for Cicely to ever have met Miles. "I'm sure I would have loved him, babe. I bet we would get along great." She said quietly, in the most reassuring way that she could. She wanted him to be okay. To be able to sleep at night without screaming from nightmares. To finish a night of sleep without waking up. She cluld hope all she wanted, but if she didnt at least try, nothing eould get better.

#para #awa

milesshaffer-blog

cicelyharrison

Cicely let out a comfortable sigh as the boy pulled her into his embrace. She ran her thumb over his as she gripped onto his hands, bringing their intertwined fingers up to her mouth. She pecked a light kiss on them before a shiver rushed through her spine and across her neck...

cicelyharrison

Cicely felt her heart flutter at the mention of him thinking about her, but she tried to ignore the shivers and the kiss that went along with it. She nodded at him thinking about the future, and her stomach dropped when he mentioned Calvin. It was extremely common for him to think about him, but it came up at the most random times. The best thig she knew how to do was to ask him about it. "Clarify, babe. What about me are you thinking about? What are you thinking about the future for? What's coming to your mind about Cal?" She gently tried to turn around towards the boy, pressing a kiss on his jaw as she pressed herself into his chest.

#awa

B)

frick im cleaning out my inbox hi ily

milesshaffer-blog

cicelyharrison

The girl’s brows furrowed at the cracking of the boy’s spine, but she knew he couldn’t help it. She reached her hands out from beneath the blanket and set her thumbs onto his eyebrows, tracing their outline with the edge of her fingers. “I’m not sure, Mi.” She muttered, the...

cicelyharrison

Cicely let out a comfortable sigh as the boy pulled her into his embrace. She ran her thumb over his as she gripped onto his hands, bringing their intertwined fingers up to her mouth. She pecked a light kiss on them before a shiver rushed through her spine and across her neck as he whispered into her. "I love you too." Her voice was small but seemed to fill up every moment they were together and every inch of the room. "What are you thinking about?"

#awa

milesshaffer-blog

cicelyharrison

Cicely sighed, feeling the warm air of her breath rush over the pillow below her. Her thoughts were heavier than her eyelids and there was nothing she could do about it. She glanced over to the clock on her nightstand and rolled her eyes. 2:19 AM. She closed her eyes and tried...

cicelyharrison

The girl's brows furrowed at the cracking of the boy's spine, but she knew he couldn't help it. She reached her hands out from beneath the blanket and set her thumbs onto his eyebrows, tracing their outline with the edge of her fingers. "I'm not sure, Mi." She muttered, the silence of the bedroom enveloping her. "Its us, it could be anything, really. Who even knows?" Cicely yawned quickly and returned her gaze over to the boy. "You have always had trouble sleeping though, babe." She added, her fingers continuing to graze over his face.

#awa

milesshaffer-blog

all we are // micely

Miles opened his eyes, staring up at the dark ceiling and feeling the cool sheets touch his legs. He turned onto his side, letting his eyes fall on the sleeping figure beside him. A small smile appeared on his lips and he brought a hand out from the covers and trailed it down her cheek. He knew she was awake, neither of them had been sleeping easily lately. “Hey,” He whispered, his fingers moving down her jawline. “What are you thinking about?”

cicelyharrison

Cicely sighed, feeling the warm air of her breath rush over the pillow below her. Her thoughts were heavier than her eyelids and there was nothing she could do about it. She glanced over to the clock on her nightstand and rolled her eyes. 2:19 AM. She closed her eyes and tried to force herself to sleep, her mind racing faster than she could comprehend. Usually, when she couldn’t sleep, she would draw, but she didnt want to wake up Miles by turning on the lights. Her eyes fluttered open as the boy’s fingers brushed over her cheek. “Hey.” Her voice was barely a whisper. “Mmm, just the fact that I can’t fall asleep.”

#aw