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One thing i learned through out this grieving process, the closest people to you think giving you “space” is a good thing. Now, people do grieve differently. There is no rule book, no right way to go about grief. There are people who grieve and don’t want to hear from ANYONE at the moment. They will push EVERYBODY away. However, there are people who grieve and want the people closest to them around. Granted it may be overwhelming at times to have people all over you but a text or a call really does go a long way. We don’t expect people to understand what we’re going through. Grief is heavy. Grief will make anyone feel uncomfortable but one thing is for certain, when your loved one (whether it’s a friend or a family member) is grieving, you stand beside them even if it is uncomfortable.

The best thing you can possibly do for your loved one is SHOW UP. Although the experience may be exhausting because you don’t know how that person feels but don’t make it about you. Don’t personalize their grief. This is about them, not you. Also, you love that person and that person loves you. You both knew eachother before the tragedy happened. This is the new normal for them. Don’t think to yourself “I’ll wait for them to be normal again” that will NEVER happen. Your job isn’t to understand their grief. Your job isn’t to try to make it better. Your job isn’t to have a solution. Your job is to just show up!

“SPACE” will ruin your friendship ....

“I don’t know how to be there for you” will ruin your friendship ....

We don’t expect you to KNOW how .. just SHOW UP.