Echo

Close your eyes, it's when you know me best. Journaling my lows and highs nothing in between.

[cigs-and-cuntfetti]

Im glad the streets you roam and houses you call home don’t know my name

I can’t say the same but soon enough you wont live in the forefront.

Your car in my driveway, my bed empty; deja vu, fragmented.

How and why is it more of the same. Im walking in the park, grass on bare feet, shoes on the bed

I used to smoke cigarettes alone in the park, then you made it yours, again.

[cigs-and-cuntfetti]

Water slips by the handful,

Ice burns

Maybe I'm not meant to be held

[cigs-and-cuntfetti]

I fuckin hate you coward

[cigs-and-cuntfetti]

SOMEONE SHOULD RAIL ME AND SHOOT NE IN TBE HEQD AFTERWARDS

[makeuphall]

[cigs-and-cuntfetti]

Please God or someone, please be okay

[dangered]

[palesaint]

[cigs-and-cuntfetti]

Imagine feeling alive. I want to go over my head and scream from moving vehicles. Get so drunk the street lights look like stars. I want to howl at the moon and run through the grass at 3 in the morning. I want to feel the dew on every step. I want to feel beautiful and confident in my skin. I want to be sexy and loved but belong to no one because I have a self worth that's too volatile and too attached. I cry and yell because you don't love me even though you do. I'm tired. I'm so tired. I have to feel the world on my skin and my youth through my veins.

[cigs-and-cuntfetti]

Hold my hand for what?

Go hold some other bitch for all I care

I said

Go hold some other bitch for all I care

Not that you heard me

Or pretended to

[cigs-and-cuntfetti]

Kill me

[cigs-and-cuntfetti]

Ugh

I love you

[cigs-and-cuntfetti]

I think the paranoia stems from that

[cigs-and-cuntfetti]

It stings harder than it should

To think I couldn't make you change

Pray in silence for slivers of affection

I don't wish for you ever

Not since the day I left even when it tore my heart

I wish your actions hadn't fit my narrative of worthlessness

I wish I didn't depend on outside validation as much

I wasn't enough

I wish that she makes you a better person

Like you made me a better person

Like I made you a better person

I wish for growth

I wish for self love

I wish for happiness

I wish the best for you and for me

When you looked for a new love it hurt

The pain worried me so

I looked into why

It hurts to think you'll love someone better

Because you've learned from the hurt you caused me- I caused me

I keep blaming you even though we're both responsible

I shouldn't have placed my worth on every word that hung from your mouth

And you should've shown me you cared more

But I hurt and learned

And now I hurt and learn some more

I still bleed from my wounds but it's not because I miss you it's because they remind me of who I was when I was with you-

not enough

And that has always hurt me the most

[cigs-and-cuntfetti]

Comforts;

I adore you

[cigs-and-cuntfetti]

There's good in me

I'll show myself

[cigs-and-cuntfetti]

The nights after the ones I spen with you are the loneliest