season of the witch.

cihangir lykos. 31. air witch. employee at asclepius's herbs & the library.

[timotaychalamet]

Goodbye First Love (2011) dir. Mia Hansen-Løve

[cihangirxlykos]

( @antoninvaillant​ )

[cihangirxlykos]

antoninvaillant​:

     When Toni fled the place they had lived in, for him there had been no question that Cauchemar would come with him. While the blind Australian Shepherd had become their dog, he initially had been his idea and responsibility. And after losing his first dog so brutally, he could not lose another one. Later he wondered whether it had been an awful thing to do to Cihangir — but he tried not to dwell on it. “He‘s like my child,” he said quietly, arms crossed over his chest as he watched the two dogs play. It didn‘t often happen that Cauche got the chance for that, and to see his dog so happy and how careful Kiraz was with him put a smile on his lips. “And my best friend. I would never let go of him.” Not unless he absolutely had to, because of death most likely. “I also can‘t sleep alone.” A leftover of how he had been raised, but Toni hadn‘t meant to say the words out loud, even if Cihangir knew that better than anyone. Their eyes met for just a moment, then the genasi quickly looked away again. “But he missed you a lot. I could tell.”

“Really?” The word leaves his lips, accompanied by a rise of his brow. He shouldn’t push it, should let the thought fall to the dirt and not break the moment; but Cihangir has always been one to lobby a grenade of his own bitterness into any conversation, consequences be damned. “I doubt you had any trouble filling your bed.” The thought burns acidic in his head, a frown setting against Cihangir’s expression as he looks away. It’s easier to focus on the dogs, to watch them play together not so far away. Kiraz already seems to have figured out Cauche’s blindness, from the way she moves so gently, as if dealing with a puppy. It tugs at his heart, a feeling of softness quickly replacing the earlier resentment. “This is good for her,” he says quietly. A part of him feels bad, the way he can’t run around with her, mess around the way someone else could. Like Kiraz is missing out on something, due to his own shortcomings. “For both of them, I think.” Cauche seems to be having the time of his life as well. It’s nice to see the Australian Shepherd so happy, after so long apart. “Does that mean I get visitation rights?” He asks, half in jest, not truly expecting Toni to agree to the idea.

[cihangirxlykos]

hakonxlykos​:

“Gods, Cihangir. Odin is the All-Father, my uncle, and the Norse’s power of a binding oath apparently goes through life and death.” He kept his arms crossed over his chest, looking at the other. “I care for my relationship with Aydin, and I care about the one I want to have with you. Your experiences are unique, and you are my blood. You are under my protection.”

Gods. There are so many of them in this world. His mother’s Muslim faith in contrast with the Greek heritage the Lykos stem from, and Norse even further back than that. So many things he had been taught, and yet, it never quite felt real. Not until now. “Why would they do that?” He’s no longer in disbelief, but still curious. What would cause the gods to expel him from the afterlife, back into this world? The idea of being cared for feels foreign, his relationship with his family long since soured when Cihangir refused to conform to what they wanted — that Hakon would offer it so easily seems unreal. “You know Aydin as well?” 

[cihangirxlykos]

daphneonassis​:

location: asclepius’s herbs starter for: @cihangirxlykos​

The illness that now swept its way through the Vidalis home was only the start of the season, though the genasi was hearing rumors that it was no illness at all but a curse. But that was a different matter within Daphne’s mind that she would hardly share with the store’s latest employee. Feelings were only revealed to those she trusted the most and that hadn’t been earned in her eyes just yet, but the mere fact that Cihangir was willing to work alongside her was a start. She needed more allies, more folks around here that she could refer to as a friend and was hopeful in finding that in him. “So, tell me,” the water genasi made her way slowly out of the backroom with a bundle of chrysanthemums and dianthus flowers for restock, “What got you interested in healing and medicine?” After all, that’s what the very god that the shop was named after represented, taking on those similar qualities to his father Apollo.

+

Cihangir looks up, from where he stands near one of the shelves. His eyes linger on Daphne, wondering how truthful of an answer he should give to her inquiry. “My mother always had an interest in the stuff.” What he doesn’t say is the reason why, how she had done all of that for him. All the different remedies she had made him try, for the sake of trying to fix him. He’s not ready to disclose more about himself than necessary, each deficiency seen as a weakness and in the wrong hands, deadly information. Even if Cihangir hopes that won’t turn out to be Daphne. “But to tell the truth, I have more interest in working alongside you.” He decides to put his cards on the table — partially, anyways. “I’ve been around genasi before. Worked with them.” Used to sleep with one, but that information is definitely not something that needs to be shared.

[cihangirxlykos]

zehrasandalci​:

for: @cihangirxlykos​

“Now,” Zehra said, curving coyly around one of the tall shelves to come up behind the witch who seemed all too busy sliding volumes into their places among the rest of the literature. Her chin fit neatly into the crook of his neck as she tipped up on her toes, hovering before pressing a kiss onto warm skin. Best to not, she decided, continuing her train of thought, drawing every syllable out dramatically. “I was looking for Gabriel because I’m so, so, so bored— but he’s off somewhere getting ready for that wedding of his.” Her words fell sweetly by Cihangir’s ear, “Come play with me.”

+

There’s a certain presence Zehra carries with her, something Cihangir has grown accustomed to. She’s a very tactile person, he can recognize the feeling of her as she presses into his backside, ignoring the fact that he’s actually at work right now. Though Cihangir’s interest in the library is entirely selfish, merely using it as an excuse to have access to everything that would normally be denied, he still does not think it wise to run off under a cubi’s whims. “I’m working, Zehra.” He says without turning around, still placing books against the shelf. “You are in a library. I’m sure there are plenty books around that can entertain you, if you are so bored.”

[cihangirxlykos]

antoninvaillant​:

      Cihangir was right – Toni did always have a soft spot for broken things. Mostly because he saw himself as one of those broken things. His parents had broken him, and even if it wasn’t visible from the outside, that was what it felt like to him. It was why he loved Cauche, why he also loved Pétoche even when she kept him awake by jumping around on him during the night. And maybe it was why he loved Cihangir. Despite everything – to him the witch was perfect. He was just right. Everything he wanted from life. Until it fell apart. He pushed the thought aside, and his lips pressed together as he looked down at Kiraz. At least he knew someone took over his job. Maybe she could look out even better for his ex than he ever could. If she wasn’t a dog he would probably be jealous. But now he was simply grateful, giving her ears an extra scratch to show her through actions that he was grateful she looked out for Cihangir. “That’s good,” he said quietly. “That you… have someone to look out for you.” Toni cleared his throat and then looked from one dog to the other, their tails wagging as they looked at each other. “Should we – let them play for a moment? I’m sure Cauche would love to.”

Cihangir doesn’t respond anything more than a soft hum, a slight acknowledgment of what Toni said. There had been a time when the genasi had taken it upon himself to fill that role, without him even needing being asked to — but those days are long gone, crumpled to ruined pieces like leaves in the fall.  And Cihangir thinks he would rather swallow glass than ask anything like that of his ex again. He’s good with Kiraz, even if he ends up treating her more like a pet than a service animal most of the time. His eyes fall on the husky, who seems all too eager to turn her attention to Cauche, but Cihangir knows she won’t go far without his permission. He reaches out, running his a hand across the top of her head. “Go on, girl. You can play.” Cihangir gestures out towards the park, taking a seat on the grass. Kiraz yips happily, pulling a grin to the witch’s features as he watches the pair of dogs together. “I didn’t realize you still had him,” he says quietly, eyes lingering on Cauche before his gaze turns to look at Toni again. He doesn’t know why, three years hasn’t been that long in the scheme of things, but the thought didn’t occur to him when they had crossed paths before. “I missed that dog.”

[cihangirxlykos]

rykerhalstead​:

    That was not exactly what he expected to hear, and Ryker arched his brows in surprise as he looked at Cihangir. “You hooked up in a backroom?”, he echoed. The phoenix may not be an expert, but he knew that sounded like one big cliché. “Okay, well, to be able to judge your level of stupidity, I need some more details: Who is he? why did you break up? And most importantly, how was the sex? Was it worth it?”

“It wasn’t exactly something that was planned,” he says with a scowl. Cihangir had no idea Toni was even in this city, until that moment. And then his better sense had gone out the window, given way to anger and lust and his own reckless nature. “His name is Toni. It didn’t end well.” But the why gets stuck on his tongue, not something Cihangir wants to admit to, especially not without capability to defend himself. From the outside looking in, he knows he would look like the villain of the tale. “Fuck, I wish that it wasn’t, honestly.” That would’ve made it easier to walk away from, and not think about again. Which is the opposite of what he’s doing now. 

[cihangirxlykos]

antoninvaillant​:

    Toni’s lips curved up into a smile when the husky moved forward to greet him, a wet snout pressing into the palm of his hand, followed by a rough tongue licking expertly at the skin. “Hey Kiraz,” he said softly, scratching underneath her chin and behind her ears. “You’re absolutely stunning,” he murmured, the words meant only for the dog, no matter how close by Cihangir was. It was a bit like a small reward, to see how the dog immediately seemed to like him – it might not be anything special, but to Toni it felt like that in this moment. He took in Cihangir’s words as he kept petting the other’s dog, and his heart ached. Cauchemar had been his idea, but the dog had quickly become theirs. Almost like a child, like a family member. For months the blind dog had been waiting for Cihangir to walk through the door, and eventually he started sleeping on the side of the bed that used to be the witch’s. It seemed neither of them had forgotten, as the Australian shepherd was currently busy pressing his head into Cihangir’s side lovingly. “It’s good to have a partner in crime,” he stated simply. And then, “I have a cat now, too. She’s deaf.” And why was he saying that? The words just sort of slipped out, and he couldn’t take them back, so he just pretended to still be entirely focused on Kiraz, who didn’t seem to mind that one bit.

Cihangir watches Toni and Kiraz together silently, the smallest of smiles turning against his lips despite himself. He doesn’t want to enjoy the sight, he’d rather hang onto the petty feeling of wishing they wouldn’t get along, but it’s a sweet visage regardless that tugs at his heart just a bit. Kiraz would like anyone, it’s truly not revolutionary, but it feels like a meeting of past and present of Cihangir’s life come together, merging seamlessly. Like puzzle pieces sliding into place. “You always had a soft spot for broken things,” he comments lightly, his face twisting into something self deprecating. Cihangir used to be one of them, once upon a time. It’s a fact he had come to accept about himself long ago, the idea that he isn’t whole. Perhaps that isn’t a fair comment to make, though. It’s not as if Toni knew about his physical ailments when the genasi met him — he had gone deliberately out of his way to hide them, to be seen as normal by someone who didn’t know otherwise. “It’s just me and Kiraz,” he says, shaking his head. His fingers stay curled into Cauche’s fur, scratching gently as he hugs the Australian shepherd. “She looks out for me as much as I do her.” He’s not sure why he’s sharing that, why it matters for Toni to know, but he tosses it out into the air between them anyways. 

[cihangirxlykos]

antoninvaillant​:

     Toni watched as Cihangir introduced the two dogs. Cauche was friendly with most, despite having made bad experiences before Toni adopted him into his life. He could be a bit clumsy during playing because he could not see anything – but he made up for that with love and enthusiasm. The husky seemed just as friendly, and well-trained, not surprising considering that she might be a service dog. Toni decided to also crouch down, all four of them on eye level now. He smiled, and slowly extended a hand in the direction of the husky. “Hey beautiful,” he said softly, his voice low as he held enough distance between them that the dog could decide for herself whether she wanted to greet him and get to know him. He hoped that she would, a petty part of him hoping Kiraz might love him, and if only to rub that into Cihangir’s face. Look, she likes me, as if it’s meant to be. It was stupid, but he couldn’t help it. “How long have you had her?”

Cihangir would be lying if he said there isn’t a part of him that hopes Kiraz won’t take to Toni, like he knows she will. Her nature is too sweet, too friendly, to make an enemy out of someone who offers friendship. She stares at his exe and his extended hand, but Cihangir knows she won’t move for him without his permission, even though he can see that she wants to. “Go on, go say hi,” he finds he can’t bring himself to be petty enough to deny them, patting a hand on Kiraz’s flank in encouragement. It’s all that she needs before moving forward, nuzzling her snout in Toni’s hand and offering the genasi licks. It’s a little bit annoying, the way she takes to him immediately, even though Cihangir truly expected nothing less. “She likes you,” he says, stating the obvious while still petting Cauchemar. At least he still loves him. It’s a satisfying thought to be found, in the moment. “About six months now. After... all that weird shit with magic happened.” Cihangir had recognized that he needed something in his life, then. He’d gone too close to the edge, nearly went over it entirely, only to pull back at the last minute. Kiraz gives him something else to focus on — something that needs him as much as he needs her. But he doesn’t want to put that to words. “I realized how much I missed having animals around.”

[cihangirxlykos]

antoninvaillant​:

     This was incredibly awkward. Even more so than their first meeting. After the fight in his car, if it could be called that, Toni was in no mood to talk to Cihangir. But he had to admit seeing how happy Cauche was to hear Cihangir’s voice completely melted his defenses, and evaporated whatever anger had been bubbling inside of him since that night. He reached forward to take off the leash so the dog could continue his greeting more freely. Cauche tried to lick Cihangir’s face, his wrists, do anything to show his ex just how much he’d missed him. “He uh – missed you,” he stated the obvious, gesturing to the dog as he cleared his throat. It was stupid to say, but Toni didn’t really know what else he should say in this moment. He missed you, like I did. He decided to push his hands into the pockets of his pants, and now he couldn’t help the small smile that took over his lips. “He must have heard your voice from all the way back there.” Then his eyes fell to the dog by Cihangir’s side, and he arched his brows in curiosity. “Yours?” 

It’s easier to focus on the dog than whatever energy remains between them, so that’s what Cihangir does. It isn’t hard, it’s been years since he’s seen Cauchemar and he developed a deep fondness for the blind dog. Maybe because some part of him has always felt a bit broken, too. “I missed him too.” I missed you. But he can’t say that, held back not by any outside forces this time, but Cihangir’s own stubbornness. So it’s easier to direct his sentiments towards Cauche. Cihangir’s eyes flicker back and forth between the two dogs, finding Kiraz sitting curiously at his side with the ball still in her mouth, looking at him for acknowledgment. He lets go of Cauche with one of his hands in order to reach down and scratch behind the husky’s ears, before taking the ball from her mouth. “Good girl,” the witch praises, as her tail thumps happily against the ground, but her eyes have turned trailed on Cauchemar. “Come on, you can see him,” he says, crouching down in order to take the Australian shepherd with him, to introduce the two dogs to each other at eye level. There’s not a shadow of a doubt in his mind they’ll get along, both too sweet to make issue with each other, and Kiraz has always been good with other animals. With Cihangir in-between them, one hand on each dog, he finally looks back over at Toni. “This is Kiraz,” he nods his head lightly, offering a small smile. The one good thing in his life.

[cihangirxlykos]

antoninvaillant​:

@cihangirxlykos​

     Walking his dog was one of the best parts of Toni’s day. He could get out of the house, clear his mind, and just enjoy nature. Cauchemar was one of the best parts of his life, and aside of a ring, the only remain of his relationship with Cihangir. His best friend, and always there for him. Today they were going to the park, and the blind dog was sniffing by his side to his heart’s content. The park was relatively empty, and so Toni was rather surprised when all of a sudden, his dog lifted his head, his ears standing up – and then he started pulling like he never had before. “Hey buddy–”, he started, but the surprise effect was on Cauche’s side, and Toni stumbled behind him. Around a tree, and suddenly Cauche was barking, jumping, his tail wagging like a helicopter blade as he jumped onto a person. “I’m so sorr–”, Toni started, but before he could finish his apology, he realized who had Cauchemar going crazy with happiness. It seemed that he hadn’t been the only one who missed Cihangir in the past years. “Hi.”

Kiraz has a lot of energy in the early mornings, and so it’s become routine for them to go on walks practically as soon as the sun is in the sky. It’s a nice morning, though, so Cihangir decides to take a detour with her to the park, allowing the husky off leash to play as he tosses a ball out for her, and cheering when she brings it back each time. They’re usually left alone around this time in the morning, which is why it takes him by surprise to have another animal charge him. If the dog were any bigger, it’d likely have knocked Cihangir to the ground, but instead he catches himself with a half stumble backwards. He can’t find himself to be upset, though, the moment he recognizes Cauche, a grin spreading across Cihangir’s lips that covers his face. “Hey boy,” he immediately begins to scratch behind the pup’s ears, laughing as it’s tongue licks his face. “Long time no see, huh?” His gaze travels up to find Toni at the other end of the leash, hands still running through Cauche’s soft fur. “Hi,” he echoes back, unsure where they stand now after their last encounter. 

[cihangirxlykos]

aydinlykos​:

Aydin bent, squinting as he studied the machinery. “I’m gonna have to take it apart. If it needs to be patched, that means it’ll be a temporary fix— if you’ve got the money now, just replace it.” He straightened up, carding a hand through auburn hair, caring little for the grease that would streak through it. His bathwater would swirl oily and dark when it went down the drain later, evidence of a hard day’s work. “I won’t overcharge you at least, brother.” He had a bad habit of adding a zero to the end of a bill when the client looked like they wouldn’t blink twice at it, but Cihangir was different and Aydin didn’t doubt that he would know well enough what a simple replacement would cost. He gestured for the witch to follow him, and made his way to the desk to grab papers and draft up a damage release. “What brings you so far from home?”

+

Cihangir nods his head along, it doesn’t sound like an unreasonable assessment. “Alright then.” He doesn’t truly know enough about engines to dispute it, and the fact remains that he would rather make sure it stays in prime condition than get simple patchwork done. He trails after Aydin into what appears to be some sort of office, eyes darting around the room as if it could give him any clues as to who his brother has become over the years. “I could ask the same of you.” He slips into Turkish, their mother tongue flows more natural from his lips than Greek does. Still, Cihangir shakes his head lightly, before running fingers through his curls. “Their plans for my future did not align with my own. When it came to a head, I chose to move on.” It’s a simplified explanation, skipping over the weighted details of the story, but it’s all that Cihangir feels comfortable divulging at the moment. “I had half thought that you were dead.” 

[cihangirxlykos]

antoninvaillant​:

    It wasn‘t an answer. And that hurt more than Toni thought it would. After all this time it hadn‘t stopped hurting. So many nights he lay awake trying to figure out what had happened. You didn‘t see me — what was that supposed to mean? It was no answer, no explanation, and it caused his heart to explode with pain inside his chest. Anger bubbled in his stomach, and he reached past Cihangir for the door handle to push it open. This time their bodies brushing together held no spark, only further fueled his answer. “Get the fuck out of my car,” he hissed, and maybe tears weighed on his voice. And purely out of his spite he slipped the pack of cigarettes out of Cihangir’s jacket as he threw it into the other’s lap. “I meant so little to you that you won‘t even give me a reason. So fuck off.”

There’s nothing satisfying about this anymore, the only thing that’s left is equal parts hurt and anger. This is the way it’s always going to be. Because Toni won’t ever understand and Cihangir can’t tell him. So what’s the point? Making sure he isn’t the only person in pain? He’d like to think he’s not that kind of person, but when the opportunity comes, Cihangir cannot resist to dig the knife in deeper as one final jab. His face twists into something cruel, a smirk that holds no amusement. “I already did that tonight. Twice.” He grabs the jacket that’s tossed at him, slipping out of the car as he throws it over his shoulders. Cihangir doesn’t look back as he walks off into the night, ignoring the part of himself that wants to.

[cihangirxlykos]

antoninvaillant​:

     The sarcasm and anger in Cihangir‘s voice wasn‘t lost on Toni. Even after the years they spent apart it seemed that he still knew the ther a little too well. And this irritated him greatly. Because what had he done wrong? What did he do that was so bad it deserved what Cihangir had done to him? That he would so willingly throw everything away they had? For a little bit of blood? If he asked Toni, he probably would have given it to him freely. „What have I done wrong then? Tell me.“ His words were sharp like a knife, and Toni moved to pull his shirt over his head in an attempt to keep his hands busy, to give himself something to do. „And tell me why you did that to me. I deserve an answer if you want to make me responsible.“

There’s not a more frustrating feeling, than being at war with one’s own mind. The words that Cihangir wants to say are stuck in his throat behind a locked jaw, incapable of pushing past the barrier to the surface. Answers that he can’t give, a validation of his own rage and suffering and that he’s not just the damn villain that Toni has painted him in his head. So instead he glowers, and pulls at his discarded clothes to redress himself. Whatever tender space they had found in the moment is long gone, and Cihangir has no desire to linger anymore. Not when the air inside the car feels like it’s turned sour on his tongue, each inhale more poisonous than the last. “You didn’t see me,” he finally says, leveling Toni with a hard glare as he fixes the buttons on his shirt. You didn’t save me. 

[cihangirxlykos]

antoninvaillant​:

    When Toni had first seen Cihangir, an old wound that had been badly stitched up opened. And now his ex was poking into it, pushing a knife slowly but deeply inside of it. It hurt, and he pressed his lips together as he tried not to let it show on his face how much it rubbed him the wrong way to know that not even an hour ago, some blond twink had been moaning Cihangir’s name, and giving him the time of day. Toni hadn’t known jealousy before Cihangir, and so he hadn’t known just how awful it could feel. Like claws gnawing at his insides. “I don’t fucking care,” he snapped, which was definitely a lie. “And besides, if it wasn’t for you, we’d probably still be together and you wouldn’t have to fuck anyone else.”

If it wasn’t for you. Cihangir’s face settles into a deep scowl, anger flaring inside of his chest. All it does is take him back to that time, how miserable and helpless he had been. Stuck under someone else’s control, a puppet for their own amusement, made to do things Cihangir never would’ve otherwise. Why didn’t Toni see that? That he never would’ve harmed him, if given the choice? But he didn’t see anything that was happening right under his nose. “Yes, everything is just my fault,” his words are dripping in sarcasm and venom, he doesn’t even pretend to act like he’s unfazed, not like he would normally try. “You’re right, you never did anything at all.” And Cihangir was the one who suffered for it, nearly a year of his life in hell, while Toni fucked off to wherever he went to go be happy without him. 

[cihangirxlykos]

antoninvaillant​:

    Cihangir’s words caused laughter to spill from Toni’s lips. It was sort of nice to hear it, that they both connected this car with good things, even after so much had gone wrong. Which he really didn’t want to think about right now – he was in a blissful state, and unwilling to let it be ruined by anything. The smirk was wiped away by Cihangir’s next words, and it caused a frown to appear on Toni’s face. The last thing he wanted was to hear about how his ex fucked that phoenix in a bathroom, after the same had just happened between them. No matter how much he tried to rile the witch up, that was not something Toni thought he would handle very well. “You know what? I’ll pass. I don’t need to hear anything about it.” He waved it off, running a hand through his hair to bring it somewhat back into place. “At least you’ve been very vocal about how much you like what I do.” Because once again, the genasi had made it his mission to get as many noises out of Cihangir as possible.

It feels good, to hear him laugh. Better than it should. It pulls a small smile from Cihangir that can’t really be helped, and for just a moment, it’s like the world is frozen in time. But all good things end eventually, and this one is by his own doing. Because he can’t help but poke at it, note the sour look that twists upon Toni’s face when Noah is brought up. It shouldn’t be so pleasing to Cihangir, but it is; the knowledge that Toni doesn’t like the idea of him with anyone else anymore than Cihangir does with him. “You can’t stand the fact that I had sex with someone else, can you?” He intends to call it out, an almost smug look rising on his face. Because he wants to hear him say it. “What does it matter to you? It’s not like we’re together anymore.” There’s an edge of bitterness to his voice, a wound that time hasn’t healed.

[cihangirxlykos]

antoninvaillant​:

     The tinted windows of Toni’s car had been a savior for the two men in the past, before Cihangir had left his coven to be with him, and to be out and proud in the world. And they were definitely doing a good deed again tonight, though genasi was certain if someone walked by on the outside, they would be able to hear very telling noises from inside the car. But Toni didn’t care, he was too lost in the moment to worry about anyone else but the man right there with him. By the time his breathing calmed down, the windows had fogged up, and a sheer layer of sweat covered his entire body. He leaned back in the seat, eyes raking over Cihangir’s body once more, before a rather smug smirk took over his lips. “And? Was that better or worse than your first round tonight?”

“I love this car.” It’s the first thing Cihangir says, when clear thought returns to him. He lounges languidly against the backseat, in no quick rush to redress himself just yet. It’s a move made against his better judgment, but he seems to be doing a lot of that around Toni. Something about the other air element manages to push all of his sense out the window. His head turns as Toni speaks, finding the smug expression set against his former partner’s lips, tugging a bit of irritation in Cihangir. He doesn’t want to feed his ego, to give him exactly what he wants to hear, even though it would be the truth. “So eager to compare notes? I can tell you all about it, if you want.” Instead he chooses to throw out a barb, but it’s a bluff he doesn’t expect to be taken up on.