✨Blaise Callisto✨ @circusredmage - Tumblr Blog

Dec 29, 2024

The plains of Shaaloni stretched beneath an unforgiving sky, where the land seemed to hold its breath, dry and cracked, save for the soft, distant shimmer of Lake Shaal.

Amidst the backdrop of these stark contrasts, the bustling sound of the workshop and the scent of metal and dust filled the air. Erenville and Wuk Lamat, alongside the gathered workers, moved methodically as they assisted in collecting fireshards, their attention sharp and their steps measured. It was delicate work—gathering the shards without disturbing the fragile balance of their power. The task had the group split, some helping with the transport, others overseeing the process, and some, like Blaise, quietly observing from the sidelines.

Her gaze swept over the scene, watching as Kien and G'raha worked alongside the locals, their movements confident and practiced. Krile and Tokki were busy directing the workers, each one contributing in their own way to the complex task at hand. Alisaie was speaking with Erenville, her voice authoritative yet calm, as usual. Wuk Lamat hovered nearby, making sure the process went smoothly.

But Blaise’s eyes kept returning to Alphinaud.

He was focused, as always, but there was something different about him today. His usual sharpness, his quick wit, even his occasional teasing seemed absent. He moved with a sort of mechanical precision, his every action seemingly calculated, but there was a hollowness to it. She noticed the way he avoided meeting her gaze, the way he kept his distance—physically and emotionally—since her arrival in Tural. She couldn’t help but wonder what had changed between them.

It had been months since they had last shared a space like this. After the events in Radz-at-Han, she had found herself in the unexpected position of needing to distance herself from him—though it hadn’t been her choice. The last letters she had received from him had been distant and infrequent, each one colder than the last. She understood that their lives had been taking them in different directions, but somewhere along the line, she had come to feel that she no longer held his attention the way she once did. He had his work in Garlemald, his duties as a Scion, and she had… well, she had tried to find herself again after everything that had happened.

When she first arrived in Tural, she had hoped for some sense of reconnection. But it seemed as though Alphinaud’s attention was always elsewhere. He had been distant, his thoughts consumed by whatever had been plaguing him during the journey. Their exchanges had been polite but clipped, and his gaze had often wandered when they were together, as though the words he wanted to speak were locked behind an invisible wall.

The distance wasn’t born from anger or resentment. At least, that’s what Blaise told herself. It was as though an invisible chasm had formed between them, one that neither of them seemed able to bridge. The Alphinaud she had known—the one who once teased her with his endless questions and sharp remarks—was absent. Instead, she saw a version of him weighed down by responsibility, and perhaps, by something even deeper.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a soft chuckle beside her. Tokki, always quick to notice when Blaise’s mind wandered, stood a little too close. Blaise blinked, caught off guard by the sudden intrusion.

Tokki’s smile was knowing, but gentle. "Something on your mind, Blaise?"

Blaise’s lips quirked into a soft smile, her gaze shifting back to Alphinaud before returning to Tokki. "No... nothing at all," she said quietly. She had learned long ago how to wear a mask when necessary. "Just thinking."

Tokki’s eyes followed her line of sight, her gaze sharp as always. "You know… you could always call him over," Tokki teased. There was a flicker of something deeper in her eyes—a hint of sympathy, perhaps even understanding. "He wouldn’t mind."

Blaise couldn’t help but chuckle at that, the corner of her lips lifting in a small, knowing smile. "I can take care of it," she replied softly, her tone confident but not forceful. There was a sense of resolve in her voice, as though she had already made up her mind.

Her gaze lingered on Alphinaud for a moment longer. He was packing his things, preparing for the journey back to Tullioyal. His movements were slower than usual, almost hesitant. Blaise had spent enough time with him to know that this wasn’t his usual rhythm. Something was weighing on him, and whatever it was, it had kept him closed off from her.

Taking a breath, Blaise stood straighter, brushing off the faint unease that had settled in her chest. There was no use in pretending that everything was fine when it wasn’t. She could feel the distance between them like a tangible thing, but that wouldn’t stop her from doing what needed to be done. This conversation—whatever it was going to be—was long overdue.

She crossed the distance between them, her steps measured and calm. The bustling noise of the workshop faded as her attention focused entirely on Alphinaud. She saw him glance up just as she drew near, his eyes widening for a brief moment in surprise before settling back into something more guarded. His expression shifted, a small flicker of uncertainty passing over his face before he set down the satchel he had been preparing.

"Alphinaud," she said, her voice soft, but carrying a weight of unspoken understanding.

He froze for a moment, his gaze drifting toward her with something close to hesitation. Blaise could see it—the tension in his jaw, the tightness around his eyes. It wasn’t anger or frustration; it was something else. It was… vulnerability. And perhaps, something Blaise had sensed in him from the very beginning: fear.

He opened his mouth as if to say something, but the words seemed to get caught in his throat. Blaise gave him a small, reassuring smile, but her eyes remained soft, patient.

"You seem distracted," she began, her voice steady, though it carried the weight of all that had passed between them. "Is something bothering you?"

Alphinaud met her gaze, his lips parting as if to speak, but he hesitated once more. "It’s nothing," he said finally, his voice tinged with the weariness she had come to associate with him lately. "Just... a lot on my mind."

Blaise studied him for a long moment, searching for the truth behind his words. His expression was guarded, but she had learned to read the subtle signs. She had watched him long enough, lived through enough of their shared history, to know when he was keeping something back.

She took a breath, her gaze unwavering. "You’ve been distant since I arrived," she said gently, her voice low. "And I... I can’t help but wonder why."

The silence between them hung heavy, and Blaise could almost feel the walls he had built around himself. But she wasn’t going to let him hide from this anymore. Not when it was clear that something had changed between them, something neither of them had addressed.

Alphinaud shifted uncomfortably, his fingers twitching as if he were about to reach for something—anything—but he stopped himself. His gaze dropped to the ground for a moment, and when he looked up again, there was a flicker of something unreadable in his eyes. For a split second, Blaise thought she might have pushed too far, too fast.

“Alphinaud,” Blaise said gently, breaking the silence. “Would it be alright if we spoke privately for a moment?”

He blinked in surprise, but after a beat, his expression softened, and he gave a small nod. “Of course. Let’s step away.”

Without another word, they moved together behind the workshop, where the noise of the others gradually faded into the distance. The air here was cooler, the scent of ceruleum and earth mingling in a more peaceful quiet. Alphinaud cast a sidelong glance at Blaise as they walked, his expression still somewhat guarded but less tense than before.

When they reached a small, secluded spot, Alphinaud stopped, turning to face her. The space felt intimate, private, the kind of place where things could be said without the weight of the world pressing down on them.

Alphinaud stood still for a moment, his eyes searching hers, waiting for her to speak. But Blaise, though calm, seemed to hesitate. She could feel the tension in the air, not only from their conversation but from the distance that had crept between them over the past days.

"Alphinaud," she began softly, her voice gentle but earnest, "there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you."

He raised an eyebrow, his usual composure slipping into something more vulnerable in the quiet of the space between them. “What’s on your mind?”

Blaise looked at him, really looked at him, as if seeing beyond the walls he had built around himself. His posture was stiff, and there was an edge to his gaze—like he was keeping something locked away, something he hadn’t said aloud. It had been there for days now, ever since her arrival in Tural. She had noticed it—the distance in his smile, the quiet shifts in his mood, the way he withdrew from her presence at times.

"You've been distant since I arrived," she said, the words gentle but undeniably direct. "And I... I need to know how you're feeling. I know it’s not just about Vrtra and me—there’s something else. Something that’s weighing on you."

Alphinaud’s eyes flickered with something unreadable for a moment, and for a brief instant, Blaise thought he might brush it off, might deny it. But instead, he let out a quiet breath, his hands clasped in front of him as he glanced away for a moment, gathering his thoughts.

“I…” He trailed off, running a hand through his hair. “I didn’t think you’d notice, to be honest. But yes, I’ve felt… conflicted. About everything, about us, and about where I am. I don’t want to burden you with it, Blaise.” He shook his head, as if the words felt too heavy to say aloud.

Blaise stepped closer, her voice unwavering. “You’re not burdening me. You’ve always been there for me—when I needed you, when I didn’t know where to turn. I just… I want you to know that I’m here for you now. You don’t have to carry whatever this is on your own.”

Alphinaud shifted again, glancing away for a moment. “It’s not about you, Blaise. It’s about everything. My path, my duty… and the things I’ve had to sacrifice along the way.” He paused, his eyes meeting hers again, a flicker of vulnerability in his gaze. “I’ve always thought I knew what my future held, what I had to do. But I’m starting to wonder if I’ve been wrong. If I’ve been too focused on what others expect from me.”

There was a weight to his words, a burden that he hadn’t been willing to share with anyone—perhaps even with himself. Blaise felt the truth of it in the air, thick and heavy, and it made her heart ache. She took another step closer, not for comfort, but as an offering of understanding.

“You’re allowed to doubt,” she said softly. “We’re allowed to question, to change course. You don’t have to have it all figured out right now. You never did.”

Blaise couldn’t help but let out a small laugh, the sound light and teasing. “For what it’s worth,” she said, her smile turning playful, “the course you’ve chosen so far has definitely felt like the right one.”

Alphinaud looked at her, surprised by her sudden shift in tone, his brow furrowing slightly in confusion. Blaise stepped a bit closer, her expression shifting to something more sincere.

“What you did for Garlemald—what you’ve done for so many—changed the lives of people you’ve never even met. It’s one of the reasons I never asked you to write back,” she continued, her voice soft but steady. “What you were doing, Alphinaud… it was bigger than any of us. It wasn’t just about me, or even about us. It was a cause that could change the world.”

She paused, letting the words settle between them. “You were doing something monumental. And I understood that.”

Alphinaud blinked, his eyes meeting hers with an unreadable look. He hadn’t expected her to say something like that—especially considering the distance between them. Her words seemed to reach deep, stirring something within him.

Blaise, noticing his reaction, gently tucked a stray strand of hair behind her horn, her gaze softening as she stepped a bit closer. Her smile remained, but there was a quiet intensity in her eyes now.

“May I share a secret with you?” she asked, her voice dropping slightly, as if the air around them suddenly thickened with the weight of her words. “Do you promise not to tell anyone?”

Her tone was serious, though the vulnerability in her eyes softened the request. It was clear she wasn’t asking lightly.

Alphinaud paused for a moment, the air between them thick with anticipation. He could sense the importance of what she was about to say, and the sincerity in her voice was enough to make him nod without hesitation.

“I promise,” he said quietly. “You have my word.”

Blaise took a deep breath, her gaze shifting downward for a moment as though she were weighing her words. She felt a deep pull within her—a need to finally speak the truth aloud. After a few moments of silence, she looked up at him, her eyes steady but soft, like she was about to share something vulnerable.

“Vrtra and I… we’re no longer together,” she said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. The words seemed to hover in the space between them, delicate and raw. "It was a decision we made together. There’s no anger between us, no resentment. Just... understanding."

The air between them seemed to still. Blaise could see the shock in Alphinaud’s eyes, his surprise at hearing such a personal revelation. She continued, the calmness in her tone belying the depth of the emotion she had carried for so long.

“He... cares for me deeply, Alphinaud. He always will. But the truth is, we share different lives. And though I care for him in return, our paths diverge. He will live on, long after I’m gone, and... I can’t keep holding onto a future I know will never be mine to share. Vrtra knows this”.

Her words hung in the air, settling between them like the softest of burdens, and for a moment, neither spoke. Blaise could sense the swirling emotions within Alphinaud—surprise, perhaps sadness, even a flicker of something else—but she didn’t rush him to respond.

Finally, she smiled softly, the sorrow in her eyes tinged with a bittersweet understanding.

"I’m not angry at him, Alphinaud," she continued. " “We’re still friends, and he’s offered me a place in Radz-at-Han. He’s given me a home, as a way to say thank you for everything I’ve done for him and his city. It’s just... love sometimes isn't enough to make two lives fit together. I’m still here, and I’ll find my way. I need to follow my own path too."

Alphinaud stood still, processing the weight of her words. He could feel the sincerity in her, the quiet strength she carried even when facing such personal loss. Something shifted in his chest, the heaviness he had carried from the past lifting, if only slightly, as he saw Blaise in a new light—stronger, yet still vulnerable.

For a long moment, there was silence. Finally, Alphinaud spoke, his voice gentle.

“I... I had no idea, Blaise,” he murmured, his words almost an apology.

Blaise shook her head, a faint but knowing smile on her lips, her fingers lingering for a moment as she spoke.

“It’s not your fault,” she said softly. “I didn’t tell anyone—not Alisaie, not Kien, not even Tokki. Part of me was too embarrassed. But... I’ve made peace with it, really. It’s just a part of my journey now, and I don’t regret it.” She paused, her gaze drifting toward the distant sky, as though gathering her thoughts.

She exhaled, a quiet laugh escaping her as she finally met his eyes again. “I guess I was worried about being seen as... fragile, or weak, maybe. As if the failure to make it work somehow reflected badly on me. But you know,” she added, a little lighter now, “I’ve learned it’s not like that. I think I was just afraid of how people would see me, but it doesn’t matter anymore. I’ve come to terms with it. And... I’m not ashamed of it anymore.”

Her smile grew a little warmer, though there was still a trace of something tender in her eyes. “It was part of something beautiful, but it was always going to end. That’s the way of it. And I’m okay with that now.”

Alphinaud was quiet for a moment, processing her words. His gaze softened, and after a brief silence, he finally spoke.

“You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for, Blaise,” he said gently. “It’s not easy to face things like that, and it’s even harder to let them go. But you’ve done both.” He took a small step closer, his voice sincere. “I admire that. I truly do.”

Blaise’s smile deepened, grateful for his understanding. She met his eyes, her own words coming slowly, though they were filled with warmth.

“Thank you, Alphinaud. It means more than I can say.”

The air between them felt charged, a quiet understanding settling over the space. For a brief moment, things felt as they once had—a time when their bond had been simple, unspoken, unbroken. Before everything had changed.

Blaise let out a soft breath, her gaze softening as she took in the sight of Alphinaud standing before her, a mixture of the familiar and the new. She could see the growth in him, the person he had become, and for a fleeting moment, she felt like they were standing in the same place they once had, before the distance had crept in.

She reached up, tucking a strand of hair behind her horn, and the motion was almost automatic. Her heart was a quiet ache, the pull of old feelings she’d tried to bury for so long, and yet, there was something peaceful in it now. Something less urgent, less painful.

“I’ve missed you,” Blaise said softly, her voice laced with a quiet sincerity. “More than I ever let myself admit.” Her gaze dropped for a moment, a small smile tugging at her lips. “More than I thought I would... after everything.”

Her eyes lifted to meet his, and though there was a gentleness in her expression, there was no rush to fill the silence that lingered. It wasn’t the desperate ache of a heart longing to return to what it once had been, but rather the recognition of something lost—and now, slowly, found again. They weren’t the same people they had been, and perhaps that was all right.

"I didn’t think I’d say that... but I’ve missed the way things were. Even if I know we can’t go back to it." Her voice faltered for a moment, but she steadied it, her smile softening. "But... I’m glad we’re here now. Together. As we are."

Alphinaud stood there for a moment, the weight of her words settling in his chest. There was an undeniable softness in his eyes, but also something else—a quiet acknowledgment of the gap that had existed, the one they had both tried to navigate in their own ways. He took a slow breath before speaking.

"I missed you too, Blaise," he said, his voice quiet, almost hesitant. There was something raw in the way he spoke, an openness that hadn’t been there before. “I—” He stopped himself for a moment, as if weighing his words carefully. His gaze softened, flicking to the ground before meeting her eyes again. “It’s... really good to hear that. To know you are well, even after everything. Even if we are not quite where we once were.”

Blaise felt a flutter in her chest at the vulnerability in his words, something she hadn’t expected to feel after all this time. She nodded, her expression softening as she considered his words. The gap between them, the distance that had once seemed so insurmountable, now felt less oppressive, less final. “We’ll get there,” she said, her voice steady, but carrying an undercurrent of something hopeful. “It won’t happen overnight. We’ve both had our own paths to walk, and... well, we’ll figure it out as we go. Together.”

Her smile brightened, but there was something quieter in it now, a gentleness that reflected the acceptance of their shared journey—their past, their present, and whatever might come next. The words didn’t feel like promises made in haste, but rather a mutual understanding that time would guide them, just as it had brought them here.

And as they stood there, together but not quite as they had been, the future felt like something they could face, one step at a time.