Sensations of the Subconscious

A Deeper Look into Dreams

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About Me

   Hello there, my name is Grace and my blog, Sensations of the Subconscious, is about the dreams I experience. I feel as though dreams are a hit or miss with some people: you either have them, or you don’t. I believe the opposite of that, everyone dreams and it’s just a matter of whether you remember them or not. Something that has helped me over the years to recall my dreams more efficiently is the practice of writing them down as soon as I wake up. I think viewers should follow this blog because it’s interesting, and the next time you have your own sensations of the subconscious you can understand the meanings of your dreams a bit better through my blog. I dream every night, some are stressful and others are crazy, but I make sure to look into certain symbols in my dreams and to do the research necessary in order to find out what they mean. No doubt everything has a meaning in your dream, our subconscious works hard once we slip into a deep slumber, wouldn’t it be pretty neat to dive in deep and discover what your mind is working so hard over?

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Ex-BFF

   I had a dream with my ex-best friend Caitlin in it. My dad was also in the dream; I was trying to find him and I remember that Cait was standing in this weird wine stop when I was calling my dad. It felt so real and I was trying talk to, her but she kept ignoring me and walked outside of the shop. I went after her and called her name but she still ignored me. Her ex-boyfriend, I remember him from a couple of years ago, was down the steps I was on top of in the distance and she went running to him and left so I couldn’t actually talk to her. I woke up and it felt like I really was with her like the dream just felt so freakin’ real that it felt like I was trying to talk to Caitlin and I that we could actually work things through. I guess I never had closure from this whole situation with her in my waking life, and that’s why she comes and haunts my dreams every once in a while. I think subconsciously I still can’t work through the fact that she abruptly stopped talking to me and this was my best friend, even a sister to me, and she stopped talking to me three separate times for no reason what so ever. By the third time, I said to myself, “fuck her I’m done with this,” and months later she messaged me for my birthday nonchalantly as if nothing had ever happened. The setting of the dream was in Rhode Island and I had to get back to my apartment, but I couldn’t and I needed help and that’s why I was trying to call my dad and find him.

   For about two years now, Caitlin has been haunting my dreams periodically. It sucks not being able to speak with her in my waking life, but I find it even more frustrating that in the dream world she makes it impossible for me to speak to her. To see friends from your past in your dream points to your desire to reconnect with a part of yourself that you have lost touch with. A more direct interpretation of this dream may simply mean that you should look this friend up and reconnect with them. Each time I have a vivid dream with Caitlin in it, I wake up and tell myself, “Okay, this is it. It’s time to contact her and talk things out.” Then I come to my senses and realize that her pride is too thick, maybe she will blow me off, or maybe the friendship was never a healthy one anyway.

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Copia

   It was an interesting dream last night, my brother, Nick, had opened up a store and it was supposed to be a one-day thing, but then it turned into this really big hip and happening place. It was called, Copia, and it was in my garage. I remember passing my house when I was driving and seeing the garage door opened with people flowing out of it. When I got home, it was my first day coming and helping him work. There were people filled in our garage it was a big bang. Nick priced everything super cheap, and he had anything you could’ve ever wanted: Gatorade, water bottles, and food. Then flash forward to later in the dream, Copia turned into this hip little coffee shop. I was slaving for my brother, and I was working so hard for him. I was cleaning all of the bathrooms, sweeping, taking orders. And I remember in a specific part of the menu there were acai bowls that were priced $26.00 each and there was a dessert with honeybees on it. The menu was a beautifully colored and painted with water color. When I looked at that particular part of the menu, I thought, “Wow, his prices are getting really expensive.” I started introducing myself to my new coworkers, “Hi I’m Grace, I don’t know if I met you yet?” This reflects how I am in my waking life, I like to know everyone’s name and I like to be acquainted with the people I work with. So, I introduced myself to everyone around and one coworker was very rude. She said, “Hi Grace. Get back to work and take this person’s order.” I was really annoyed and I began to sweep, but everything that I swept kept multiplying. It was it was never ending, and there was so much sweep. All of a sudden there was dimes all over the floor. I thought, “What is up with all of these dimes?” Every corner I turned there was more and more dimes and after that I just remember arguing with one of my other brothers, “Hey can you help me clean that other bathroom? I already cleaned the other four.” It ended up being this huge coffee shop and we bit off more than we could chew.

   It’s funny looking back in the dream journal I created for this blog and seeing this dream in particular. I think there are many moving parts to Copia and just how Nick’s business blew up is crazy to me how this was only a dream. I feel like most of this dream included me sweeping and cleaning and to dream that you are sweeping implies that you are cleaning your mind of emotional and mental clutter. And to see a dime in your dream indicates money issues. You need to do some serious saving. In my waking life, I am currently struggling with money and finding a job that I am passionate about, so it seems quite appropriate that dimes were all over the floor!

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A Cute Little Coffee Shop

  I just started a new job at a quaint coffee shop (it’s funny because I know absolutely nothing about coffee, and I’m not much of a coffee drinker either, but let’s see how this job goes). Last night I had a bizarre dream that I was at work—meanwhile, it is definitely way too soon to be having work dreams considering I just started there. My job has a mini sink behind the counter that’s supposed to be used for hand washing only, and it’s actually used for everything but that. The sink is mostly used for washing off the dishes that get dirty from making drinks. Anyways, in the dream there was a huge red bucket with dirty dishes and rags inside of it. I tried washing my hands, and as soon as I turned the sink on, the bucket began to overflow. The sink was then outside on a grass field where all of my other coworkers were. I saw my coworker Chrissie off into the distance, she began to yell at me, “STOP! Grace you’re not allowed to do that!” I was confused, why wouldn’t I be allowed to use that sink? Chrissie then yelled for another worker off into the field and tattled on me, “Look what Grace is doing! Look!” She then asked me, “Are you fucking stupid?” I really was at a loss for words, I told her, “You’re fucking rude, stop yelling at me.” And it was after that conversation with Chrissie that I woke up.

  I find it rare that I ever have dreams where there’s any cursing, verbal abuse yes, but rarely ever cursing. To dream that you or someone else is cursing refers to your inner fears. It also means that you are becoming a hardened person. Now, I think an inner fear of mine pertaining to this job, is that I wouldn’t learn how to make the drinks quick enough. The hardened part could represent how I feel towards shitty part-time jobs that I always find myself bouncing from. Also, to dream that you are at work indicates that you are experiencing some anxiety about a current project or task. I obviously just started a new job and that is usually a pretty anxious time for me. I feel like Chrissie’s presence is overpowering in the coffee shop, she appears really nice, but I feel like she isn’t underneath her sweet smile and curly hair. I will have to see how this job goes, and if it doesn’t…well onto the next!

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Haunted by my Ex-BFF

   Caitlin was in my dream AGAIN! That is twice in one week. I forgot where we were, I’m just going to assume we were outside somewhere because I really don’t remember. I distinctively remember crying to her and I telling her about the dream I had in the previous night. Now the weirdest part about everything is, after the first dream that next day, I went Stop and Shop (where she and her two sisters work) and I ran into her sister Megan, who I haven’t seen in two years when Caitlin ended our friendship. Megan ran up to me as if nothing ever happened and began to talk and laugh with me. She mentioned a party that happened 2 years ago, and that was the last time I saw her so it was a really bizarre conversation. After the previous dream with Caitlin, what are the odds I ran into her sister the next day? I guess pretty good. Then that night after that other dream and after seeing Megan, I had a dream again of Caitlin. As I mentioned before, I began to tell her about the dream I had of her in it. I told her, “I dream about you all the time, I just don’t understand what went wrong in our friendship.” I was really trying to get answers from her in my dream trying to ask her straight up what went wrong and to let me know whatever happened with us. She was looking off into the distance, and I’ve noticed that she never really looks at me in my dreams, but then she looked at me in the eyes this time as she began to tear. I started crying even more and then she told me, “I dream about you too, and I always think about you, but I never wanted to tell you” I told her the same thing, “I never wanted to tell you either.” Then Caitlin walked away from me, but I still wanted to talk to her. I woke up after this and yet again, this was unfinished business, and I was disturbed. Why do I keep having dreams with her in it, I don’t know what to do? Should I communicate with her, should I talk to her? I feel like both of our prides are too big in this situation. At least mine never used to be, but in this particular friendship I feel like she just screwed me over too many times and how much can one friend take, really?

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Death

   I had a dream that James Gusmano died and Nick Zanatta was there. James was someone I knew in high school and Nick was a close family friend growing up. In the dream I passed by Nick and he was just looking right into my eyes but didn’t say anything. In my head I knew Nick had just passed away two weeks ago. I thought, “Why is he here? No wonder he’s not talking because we just said good-bye to him a couple of weeks ago.” After seeing Nick, I tried reviving James with a heart press machine (I forgot what that’s called), but it didn’t work. In order to pay our respects to James, we had to go inside this gross basement that was at the bottom of a four-story house. We walked in a circle, these two rooms were together, but separated by a couple doors. All of the doors were opened, and you had to walk through them in a circle around in order to pass his body. You weren’t allowed to stare or anything. His body turned super small and it was in this black ice bucket, and we could only barely look at him and we had to walk away quickly. After paying our respects, we walked back up to the top of the house and I remember being on railroad tracks and watching the sunset. I was trying to take pictures, but instead of taking pictures myself, I set my camera for a continuous video and this was just to get my mind off of everything. My friend was working the camera and then I was jumping up on the train tracks with this vibrant sunset behind me. After the video was taken I wanted to screenshot certain clips from it. I grabbed my camera to see the video and my friend went to save it, but everything in my camera deleted. I couldn’t believe the video deleted right before my eyes and so that left me with a sick feeling. I woke up super confused, sick, and disturbed.

   Nick had tragically passed away two weeks before this dream and James was one of his best friends. I was never close with James, but maybe he popped into my head because I was still thinking about the wake and funeral. To see or talk to the dead in your dream forewarns that you are being influenced by negative people and are hanging around the wrong crowd. This dream may also be a way for you to resolve feelings with those who have passed on. I think his passing was fresh in my mind and that’s why he popped up in my dream. Also, to dream that you are walking alongside the railroad tracks signifies completion of your tasks. And lastly, to see a sunset in your dream indicates the end of a cycle or condition. It is a period of rest, contemplation, and evaluation. The sunset, I believe, represents Nick and all of the memories he had left here with us. His loss was sudden and we hadn’t spoken to him in years, so in my waking life I have been contemplating about him a lot.

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Kidnapped While Doing Laundry

   I had a dream that my friends Sabrina, Jess, and I were kidnapped. We were at an outdoor festival hanging out with people from all over. I was surprised that Jess was in my dream considering I have only met her twice in my waking life and she is more so Sabrina’s best friend. Anyway, directly next to the festival was a mini laundromat. I needed to do some laundry and so I made Sabrina come with me. All of the machines were full and weren’t available. The man working there was wizened with piercing brown eyes and a wrinkled forehead. He told us if we left the laundromat, made a right turn, and then entered the next building, we would find a woman there who would help us. Sabrina and I were so relieved we could find an alternative and get my laundry done. As soon as we walked into this small square shaped, yet tall, building, there was a long staircase. We ascended up the spiral stairs that glistened with extracts of pearl gray. Sabrina and I were almost to the top when a strange feeling came over me. I felt woozy and light-headed. Then, next thing you know the railing broke off of the wall it was attached to. It felt like the stairs were going to be next to, so we ran up and landed in this room with pillows on the floor and a strange woman. The woman asked us, “What do you need girls?!” We told her we were sent there to do laundry, and then she told us to have a seat. All of a sudden Jess appeared in the room and was sitting next to us on the pillows, and all three of us sat there scared. The woman told her assistants to lock the doors and then told us we were trapped with no hopes of escaping. Luckily my body woke me up after we were trapped with that woman. I woke up alarmed and scratched my head, but distinctively could not forget about that staircase rumbling and cracking while Sabrina and I were on it.

   I think this is my first and only kidnapped dream that I have ever experienced, and luckily there was no harm or violence that took place in it. To dream that you are being kidnapped denotes feelings of being trapped and restricted. Someone or some situation may be diverting your concentration and your attention away from your goals. This may be referring to a friend I met this semester who was constantly on my back and asking me out. It was causing me stress and I did feel trapped because it’s hard for me to say no to people, or for me to be ‘mean.’ Also, to see a staircase in your dream symbolizes change and transformation. And lastly, to dream that you are doing your laundry suggests that you are cleaning up your act or changing your image. Hopefully some of these dream definitions help you in your own sensations of your subconscious, and the next time you are kidnapped in a dream, you will have a better understanding as to why.

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A Strange Death in the Family

  I woke up this morning from an eerie dream and I decided to write it down before it fleeted out of my brain. In this dream I was at work, yet again, and once my shift was over I left and went over my cousin’s house. It was a big wide mansion that had four floors and a lot of stairs. Someone passed away in my dream, but I don’t know who. I was there to console my family. My cousin, Gianna, refused to talk to me. I sat beside her on the couch. I asked her, “What was your favorite memory you had with him? How do you feel now that he’s gone?” Gianna began to cry, and so I proceeded to ask her, “…or do you not want to talk about it?” I then remember leaving her and going upstairs. I found my mom on the 3rd floor napping. I woke her up and she told me to look at the photographs behind me, and so I did. It was a young man, and he was in every picture, but who was he? Apparently, he was a part of my family in the dream and I just didn’t know. I realized he was the man that had passed away. Then, going out into the hallway, I couldn’t see an end to it. The hallway kept going and going. Paintings filled the walls, and I remember stopping in front of an impostor Van Gogh painting that had bright yellow sunflowers with a huge cat head in the middle. After the creepy feeling I felt from the hallway and the standoffish vibes that I received from my family, I decided to descend from the stairs and leave the house.

  Usually, to dream about the death of a loved one suggests that you are lacking a certain aspect or quality that the loved one embodies. In this dreams case, the death of a random family member who I didn’t know, is much different than a loved one passing away. For those of you who have had dreams of someone you love dying, try thinking of qualities in that person that you, yourself, do not possess. Also, to see someone crying in your dream, may be a projection of your own feelings onto someone else. And if you do not cry in your waking life, then seeing someone else cry may be a little easier to deal with than seeing yourself cry. I am one of those people that likes to bottle everything up until I explode, and so to see Gianna crying in my dream, maybe that helped me subconsciously deal with a problem on my mind. Lastly, to see a hallway in your dream symbolizes self-exploration, and it is the beginning of the path that you are taking in life. You are going through a transitional phase and journeying into the unknown. At the beginning of this semester, my school life was turned upside down. I had an epiphany that I no longer wanted to pursue a graphic design career (because I have a love for fine art that far surpasses anything I could ever feel for graphic design), and so I abruptly switched majors. It seems that the hallway in my dream represents this current challenge in my life, and the Van Gogh look-alike painting represents the art career I was going to pursue. It’s crazy how the mind works, and how it shifts through our problems underneath the surface.

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London

  A dream that has stuck with me for months now, I had written down as soon as I woke up. It happened on May 30, 2018, I was on a flight from JFK to HFD (Hartford Airport in England). My brother dropped me off to the airport that night, and it wasn’t until he drove away that I discovered my flight was delayed six hours. It was rescheduled to take off at 12:00 A.M. I was traveling alone to visit my friend, Darlene, who was studying abroad in Hatfield, England. Because the flight was delayed so many hours, many people requested to be put on different flights; therefore, leaving my aircraft with only 22 other people aboard. It was weird to say the least, being on a flight to England with only 23 total passengers. To accommodate us regular economy people, the stewardesses gave everyone first class meals and drinks. Everything seemed fine, until the lights on the aircraft went out and it was time to sleep.

  During my sleep I had a nightmare/haunting dream. I was at a beach party with people I knew only in the dream, along with my coworker Liam and my friend Kelly. In the dream we were all on a sandy beach, and I think there was a big volleyball net? I’m not sure, but it suddenly turned into nighttime. After leaving the beach, I went up the steps at night to this deck, and I saw an overweight man in a rocking chair diagonal from another man. The overweight man began to talk to me negatively by telling me I’m an idiot and that I’m stupid—verbally abusing me. I couldn’t believe it, I then turned to the man’s grandmother who was also on the deck, she made this odd face and had a circular mouth, her eyes rolled in the back of her head. I then placed my hand with my sweater over it on top of her mouth. Out of nowhere my hand was completely suction cupped to her mouth. All the while her eyes were still rolling in the back of her head. It’s hard to describe, but all I remember is that she had the scariest face. Then…the dream turned pitch black. I couldn’t see anything and I felt a demonic spirit grab me in the position I was sleeping in (awkwardly sprawled out along three airplane chairs, my hand was on top of my chest). The spirit held me down SO TIGHT! I was completely frozen and extremely scared. My hands began to have this tingling sensation which then turned into a huge wave of pressure. This pressure was like waves going through my hand, and the feeling that overcame me was sweat and panic. When I finally realized what was happening, I cried out to the Lord. I verbally shouted out, “Lord please get out of this.” And when I began to cry out, I could only get that one sentence out. When I started to ask again for help, the grip of the spirit got tighter and my lips went weird and closed shut. I began to panic even more, and I thought, “My Lord will get me out of this I know it, He’ll get me out.” Then, just like that, the spirit released me and I was free. I woke up and looked around at the dark empty aircraft with tremor. 

  With sleep paralysis dreams, they can happen to anyone, but most people will live their entire life and never experience one. I rarely have nightmares or dreams where I’m paralyzed and stuck. Paralysis dreams are usually brought on by stress. On the plane in the morning, around 7 A.M., the stewardess asked me if I had gotten any sleep. I told her I did, but I had a very bad nightmare and that I woke up confused. This short blonde stewardess with a bob haircut, looked sort of distressed and felt bad. She said it was probably that the aircraft was completely empty and that I’m used to having people around me during flights. Sleep paralysis is when your body is in a dream-like state, but your mind is awake. Because your body thinks you are sleeping you cannot physically move, making this type of sleeping situation very scary and tremendously lucid.