Lights go down again

Lee Joon, 22 years old, Light creation. Black tent, house 288. Tracker. [For roleplay purposes only.]

[xcirque-hongki]

Ignite Me || Hongki x Joon

[xcirque-hongki]

Somehow, in Joon’s arms Hongki felt like he was now safe. It was like nothing could get him there and he didn’t want to move away. Things had been getting better for him, easier even, since he had started spending more time with Joon. He couldn’t exactly place why, but he did know that the timing of his recovery wasn’t a coincidence. But how did you thank someone for something like that? But he knew he didn’t have to say anything. Joon had been suffering as well and Hongki had been doing his best to help him get his mind off of things as well. They were lucky to have each other. Whatever the friendship was, it was working for both of them. But was it just friendship? Something in the pit of his stomach told him no, but he wasn’t ready to face that.

Hongki wanted to ask why Joon thought how he did, but he thought better of it. He hated when his own past was brought up, so why bring something up that could possibly trigger the current moment to end? He was glad that Joon had left a hand on him when he had pulled away. Hongki had quickly regretted the decision, but how would it look if he changed his mind and hugged joon again? No. Hongki needed to regain some of his dignity for his own sake.

“Yeah. The sun will be up soon anyways, I’d rather just go sleep early…” Hongki said, stretching a bit as he tried to hide the residual shaking from being frightened. He grabbed Joon’s hand, not caring if it seemed weird or not at that point and started walking towards his cottage. “I know I shouldn’t be surprised that you were at the party, but I am shocked that you happened to be where you were. Were you looking for me or something?” His voice sounded a bit hopeful, which shocked him himself.

“Not that it’s a big deal or anything, I’m just curious…” He tried to say to cover up the fact that he sounded too eager for the answer to be yes. He walked in step with Joon, leaning on his friend’s arm for support. Somehow he felt worn out because of the fire. Why did they have to have those hellish infernos on the beach? Oh right. So people could see. People couldn’t see when the darkness was around them like Hongki could. “Ahh I wish that we could have just strung up lights or something… Stupid beach not having trees…” He muttered, more to himself than anything.

[cirque-joon]

"Yeah... Spare your eyes from the bright sunlight," Joon made, scoffing lightly. To many other people, he was sure the comment would have sounded a bit mocking, yet the lilt he added in his tone made it more caring than anything else. Indeed, since the beach event a few weeks prior, Joon had been careful not to drag his friend outside when it was too bright, instead waiting for times of the day that could accomodate him.

When fingers wrapped around his hand, he felt a tad surprised, yet he didn't pull away. He simply laced his digits with Hongki's, finding the spaces between his fingers were right where his fitted perfectly. Quite unconsciously, he began to stroke the back of Hongki's soft hand, as if it would smoothe away the remnants of fear in his system. Following easily, thinking that the elder surely had a better sense of direction in the dark than he did, Joon focused on the words being spoken to him rather than where they were heading.

"Uhh..." he made, eyes darting up at the starry sky before they settled back on Hongki, gaze resting on his blond hair and his side profile, observing the gentle dip of his jaw and how it blended in the pale curve of his neck. He felt his stomach flutter in a way it hadn't in a while, and embarrassment tinted his cheeks of a light pink color at the realization of what this could mean -- or rather meant. His honesty however took over the shyness caused by the thought of the answer, thus he mumbled a short "Yeah, I was, actually." The light creator then scoffed lightly, mentally agreeing that hanging lanterns would have diffused a more general lighting on the beach if it had been possible.

They were far from the beach now, though, approaching Hongki's cottage, where Joon would get to know if he was allowed inside or if they would bid goodnights on the porch.

[xcirque-hongki]

Ignite Me || Hongki x Joon

[xcirque-hongki]

Hongki was thankful that it had been Joon behind him and not someone like Ren. He noticed the confusion in Joon’s eyes, but he did not trust himself enough to speak at that moment in time. What would come out of his mouth? A whimper? Nothing at all? No, he would wait until they could get out of the area – away from the fire and from the people. Hongki didn’t fight it when Joon spun him around. He kept his eyes locked on the other male, trying to will away all of the fear he felt about the fire. And yet, he couldn’t stop the images of charred corpses from filling his head. While he hadn’t been there for the actual fire, he had seen the remains and that was enough.

Hongki nearly panicked as Joon let go of him, but he forced himself to remember that they were far enough from the flickering flames to be safe. Hongki looked down, ashamed to look at the other male. He was supposed to be their leader, someone who was fearless and couldn’t fail them. And yet, one small crack of fire and it sent him fleeing from the party that was his idea in the first place. He winced as the other placed his hand on his shoulder, bracing himself for the jests that seemed to come from anyone else who found out about his fear of fire.

Suddenly strong arms wrapped around him and Hongki blinked, trying to figure out what was going on. It only took a few short moments to realize that Joon was trying to comfort him. Slowly, Hongki brought his arms up and he looped them gently around Joon’s waist, burying his face into his friend’s shoulder for comfort. “I lived with a lot of orphans when I was younger… There was a fire and… Only a few of us made it..” It wasn’t the full truth. The only people in camp who knew of what all happened that day were he and Fei. Maybe one day he would tell Joon, but at that point it was just too painful. “Fire has scared me since then. I just can’t get the images out of my head…” He said, sighing and closing his eyes, reveling in the warmth that Joon provided.

“Thank you. Most people would have laughed and brushed it off,” He said softly. How had Joon known that he was frightened? The other man hadn’t even hesitated before pulling him away from the fire. Hongki pulled away from Joon softly, rubbing at his eyes before forcing a smile. “I don’t think it is the best idea for me to go back. That scared me quite a bit. Will you stay here with me? I’ll understand if you want to go back to the party.”

[cirque-joon]

Arms locked around Hongki's shoulders, Joon lightly rested his chin on top of his head, eyebrows knitted together in worry and concern as he attempted to soothe fear away from the elder's mind. With the male's explanations, however, his stomach sank to his heels, for he couldn't comprehend one could go on after having witnessed what his mind pictured as a living nightmare. "Shh... Don't think about it right now," Joon softly made upon hearing Hongki state he couldn't get the images out of his mind. Although it was perfectly understandable, it was the last thing the light creator wanted the other to focus on at the moment.

"I don't think fears are a laughing matter," he murmured back, however not putting too much emphasis on the words, not willing to explain the origin of his opinion. After all, it'd be somewhat lame to mention his own fears as Hongki felt shook up from his own. He wanted to dissipate the other's panic first thing, comfort him so he would feel better.

And, in hope to help distract him a bit more from the fire and his previous words, he gently slid a hand from the back of Hongki's head to the nape of his neck, fingertips slightly lingering on his skin before the leader pulled away. The hold Joon had kept on him loosened, but a hand stayed on his shoulder as to sustain a sort of link (though he wasn't sure who needed said connection the most).

He then let it slide down the length of Hongki's arm, subtly curling his fingers around the other's own as he spoke. "I'll walk you home?" he lightly suggested, the corners of his lips lightly twitching upwards into a warm smile. "I don't really care for the party anymore," he added. He however kept silenced the fact that he had been looking for him, so that going back to mingle with the crowd was now useless, unappealing. 

Gently, he scoffed before he began walking again, sand soft and cold beneath his bare feet as he led the way to the cottage he knew to be Hongki's. The moon shone bright in the sky, high and round, and Joon couldn't help but notice the soothing, almost romantic hue it added to the scenery. Awkward lump forming in his throat and that realisation, the light creator lightly cleared his throat in hope to get rid of it.

[cirque-joon]

As Bitter As Black Coffee | Mir & Joon.

[cirque-mir]

At the outward display of grief, a pang of regret struck Mir, it feeling strangely raw and untempered by the clouds in his mind. It nearly left him gasping for breath, and for the first time that he could ever remember, emotions submerged him, acting as additional resistance for his over-active corpus callosum. “I wonder if he even took it with him,” the man remarked soberly, his voice coming out at a normal tone in his focus, as he turned to look at his companion, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. I just wanted… I’m not even sure what I wanted.” A lusterless laugh escaped and he looked away, so he wouldn’t frighten Joon with his unblinking somberness.

Of course when the protests emerged, a small smile grew on his lips, Mir not believing that for a second, as he looked up and spoke with a clarity that he normally lacked, it startling on the presence of his features. “You’re telling me that you braved coming into my tent –isolated, no one else around, when I had nearly turned you into country-fried Joon- to just find out a birthday for a friend?” Feeling kind of dickish from how he had been talking, his tone softened up after that, and he finished with a gentle, “I could have loved him. I think I did. Just not in the way that made me want…more than what he gave me.” It might have been a ridiculous time for his own, slightly prudish thoughts to come out, but he just couldn’t say ‘physical,’ for whatever reason.

Looking down at the coffee, his tongue traced his already-dry lips and he asked, “Would you happen- would you mind if I took another sip?” As bitter as the drink had been, some part of him craved a little actual discomfort to offset the onslaught of mental pain that only seemed to keep coming down around them. At first he nearly asked for his own cup, but something about this moment seemed too fragile for either of them to move. Hopefully Joon would see it the same way.

[cirque-joon]

Huffing loudly at Mir's words, passing his free hand in his long locks and lightly wincing in pain when fingers caught in tiny knots he hadn't brushed off yet, he threw a rather disgruntled glance in his interlocutor's direction. "Friends do that for each other, I'm pretty sure," he argued, heart and mind slowly closing up from everything Mir could say onwards. Being directly confronted about such a painful topic upset him greatly, to the point he would rather close up like an oyster than keep talking. "Friends care for each other. And friends love each other, too."

Grumbling under his breath after that, his brain involuntarily began looking for situations it could compare to one another, a dangerous attempt to prove Joon's logic wrong. After all, Mir's words had reached him just as he was closing the doors that gave access to his sensitivy, thus had hit home alright.

The thing was that, despite being social and enjoying getting to know everyone, the light creator had few close friends he could confide in and not many situations to compare to those that had happened with Baek. Hell, with Baek gone, he wasn't sure he had anyone else he could feel close to, and oh, that thought startled him greatly. Heaving in a breath, he subconsciously extended his arm out to give Mir the cup of coffee he barely had heard him ask for.

His fingers nearly let go of the handle as realisation sank in, however, his jaw going slack in shock; Mir was right. Recalling situations that had happened with other people he felt friendly towards, his brain quickly screamed that indeed, he wouldn't have braved the fear he felt towards the demon invocator at that time to get to know of their birthday. He wouldn't have had broken the circus' rules simply to go buy snacks and neither would he have built a blanket fort for the birthday boy and him to hang out in.

Fuck.

A strangled sound rose from his throat, getting caught in the lump that had formed there without his permission or him taking notice, and his eyes widened at the conscience the younger male made dawn on him. Despair's hands seemed to take hold of his heart at that moment, compressing the already slaughtered organ and causing its owner so much pain that tears sprung to his eyes, drowning dull pupils in a sea of sadness. His parted lips shaped words that never were released in the ambiant air, and the hand that didn't loosely hold onto the cup of coffee went to fist into the fabric of his pajama pants to express the sparks of frustration and pain assaulting his whole being.

[cirque-joon]

Sweet And Sour | Gikwang & Joon.

[excirque-gikwang-deactivated201]

The thought of seeing Joon’s ‘attractive tan’ sent Gikwang in another daze of admiration as he joyfully plopped down on the couch and waited for the return of the beautiful boy. He tried to sneak a peek at Joon changing his clothes, but he had already closed the door to his room. A big pout grew on Gikwang’s lips as he sat right and crossed his arms over his chest. He didn’t wait long and soon Joon was standing over him with that perfect smile of his that seemed to light up the entire room. Damn it how could he be upset after seeing that?

He followed Joon outside of his cottage and towards the beach, the sun’s heat taking a toll on Gikwang’s current outfit. Luckily he always wore a pair of trunks under his sweats, in case he wanted a quick swim after he ran. Joon laughed, a sound that was almost more beautiful to hear than his own instruments. The musician felt a tingling feeling travel up his spine as they walked. He was so close to the other boy, all he wanted to do was reach out and grab his hand, but he didn’t want to rush it. No first he had to re-create the perfect connection they felt for each other when they first met.

He was still lost in his thoughts as they finally reached the shore. Gikwang quickly took off his shoes and his sweats, relieved to finally be free of them. He turned to look at Joon just as the other removed his shirt. He felt like the woman in the mythological story who gazed upon the god Zeus’s body, a sight so perfect she immediately burst into flames. Without thinking about it, Gikwang grabbed the hem of his shirt and was about to pull it off before reality sunk back in. Mentally kicking himself for forgetting he pulled his shirt back down, self conscious of the horrible scar on his back. He looked at Joon. “I have a really embarrassing birthmark, so I’m just going to stick with the shirt.”

After that, Gikwang’s smile as he grabbed both of Joon’s hands and started leading him into the ocean. Gikwang would steal glances of Joon’s body now and then, but he mainly studied the boy’s wonderful face and his now wet hair clinging to it. Being the opportunist that he is, when a small wave suddenly hit them, Gikwang ‘lost his footing’ and fell right into the beautifully sculpted arms of Joon. Gikwang leaned his head into the others shoulder as his hands roamed the boy’s muscular back. Playing it off, Gikwang quickly pulled away and smiled shyly. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I’m such a klutz sometimes,” He said. He started to swim ahead of Joon but never took his eyes off him. “So how was your little get together with what’s-his-face?” he asked, trying not to sound jealous.

[cirque-joon]

At the mention of a weird birthmark staining the other’s skin underneath his shirt, Joon felt a hint of curiosity nibble at his heart. He however didn’t let it seed questions in his mind, seeing as he understood privacy and didn’t particularly like prodding at people’s secrets. Of course truth always was a better option, but as long as words weren’t lies or bended honesty, he wasn’t particularly opposed to them.

Thus, he kept his mouth shut and let himself get led deeper into the water, letting waves lap at his calves and knees. Their pushes and pulls were strong enough so that he didn’t see Gikwang falling on him as abnormal and simply caught him, action more of a reflex than conscious. “Woah there,” he mumbled with a laugh, hands raising to hold the boy’s shoulders to help him back on his two feet. Though Gikwang seemed very able of steadying himself — leaning into him, fingers running over his tanned skin —, he had to admit. Once the other backed away, Joon’s features mirrored his expression, however a tad less bashful. “It’s fine,” he made, subconsciously advancing forward to follow the retreating circus member.

He couldn’t help but scoff at the next question, though, thinking Gikwang really was a new member in order not to be able to remember the circus’ leader’s name. Plus, Hongki was a quite memorable in himself. Well, to Joon anyway. “Hongki’s his name,” he corrected the other, eyes slightly crinkling because of the smile stretching his lips.

Water now reaching his waist where he stood, he dipped his hands in it, then rose them to his chest to splash himself a bit. Droplets rolled down his pectorals and abs, leaving wet trails behind their passage, on which the sun rays caught and got reflected, making his skin almost sparkle. Leaning forward, Joon repeated the motion, but with his arms this time. “We hung out on the beach, talked,” he began casually, passing a wet hand in his hair to push back some strands that tickled his forehead. “Then he fell asleep on my lap, so I carried him home.” Smiling a tad fondly at the memory of their leader seeming so vulnerable in his slumber, something he never had seen so closely before, Joon however quickly snapped out of his shallow trance to revert his attention to Gikwang. “Yeah…”

[cirque-joon]

As Bitter As Black Coffee | Mir & Joon.

[cirque-mir]

Grief stirred up the fog in his mind, but rather than cause it to rise, perhaps to leak out of his ears, it only reached further into each crevice, it distracting the electrical signals that needed so desperately to connect. Swallowing down the slight bit of saliva that respawned at the coffee, he looked over at Joon, trying so desperately to see…because what other connection did he have to Baek at this point? Nothing but his forgotten lover and the old puzzles.

“Did you ever make the puzzle with him?” He asked desperately, out of nowhere, his eyes wide with fear that he would forget the question before Joon could even give him an honest answer. Hands clutched tightly at his knees, as he waited to hear the answer the other would give, him hoping desperately for something favorable. Feeling bad for interrupting, though, he retraced his steps and tried to recall the disjointed words of the other, after apologizing lowly. Thankfully, since he normally thought that way, it came much more easily to him than he expected.

A shocked laugh stole its way past his lips as he weakly told the other, “I won’t remember him at all, soon enough… How do you recover from an event you can’t even remember? Back at the hospital, I saw his room, all of those bloodstains… It seemed like the worst had happened, and I forgot it all soon enough. Everything left me until the day I saw him in the kitchen tent.” Shaking his head, hands shaking a bit where he had rested them, he weakly finished, “We are not in the same boat. After all, you loved him, didn’t you?” Mir spoke it simply, him having noticed from their repeat interactions. Some things just came across more obviously to him than others.

Registering how almost cruel his words had come off, he dulled the blade a bit and backpedaled, “I don’t mean to mock you… It’s just hard to get a lock on emotions or thoughts, and that’s an easy thing to learn to resent when you want to make sense. Everyday can’t be spent in Wonderland in the real world, after all.” Licking his lips, his eyes dropped to the coffee, shame welling up in his chest, “Though I know that’s no excuse.” He would likely only make this worse for Joon by sticking around, but sadly; he couldn’t figure out how to stand up without falling back over, and what little pride he had refused to have him ask the other.

[cirque-joon]

"I didn't...?" Joon made to answer the other's former question concerning puzzles, which made him quite confused. Never had Baekhyun mentioned wanting to sit and put together jigsaw pieces as they spent time together... But then again, Baek rarely chose what they were going to do and quite never talked about himself. Joon might have been observing, but there was only so much he could figure out on his own, without the blood manipulator's help. Had he even known Baek fully? That thought felt as sharp as a knife piercing his heart and made him rest his elbows on his knees so he could keep his back arched and his head bent. Perhaps keeping his limps close to himself would save him from the loneliness that assaulted him.

Shaking his head in disbelief at Mir's words, about the bloodstains, the hospital room, a possible situation he never had heard of, and preparing to protest, Joon's mind however froze in place. He had a major internal freak out moment he truly hoped wasn't evident on his features, and took in a shaky breath. He felt grateful for the few sentences the other added, as well, for he was quite certain he wouldn't have been able to find the strength to reply just yet. "What are you talking about?" he croaked out, thoughts in a haze, heart in pain and denying the probability of such feelings. "It isn't-- wasn't that way!"

The fact he initially had used the present tense to describe his situation with Baek made a deep frown slip onto his features, along with obvious agony. The strong pouding of his heart attempted to tell him that he had been mistaken all along, that his emotions concerning Baek hadn't been only friendly, but he stubbornly ignored it, valueing his logic instead. Eyes running over Mir's profile once, he snapped his head back to look forward, gaze settled almost agressively on the horizon.

[cirque-joon]

Sweet And Sour | Gikwang & Joon.

[excirque-gikwang-deactivated201]

Praise Jesus, Gikwang thought. It took all his strength just to stand there as Joon licked his lips free of bread crumbs. How easy would it have been for Gikwang to just lean in and kiss those perfectly pink lips? But, no. Gikwang was too much of a wuss to do that. He’d never even kissed a boy before, although it’s probably not that different from kissing a girl. He kept on struggling with his thoughts as Joon took the bread away from him. “You’re welcome. I knew you’d like it," he said. He couldn’t imagine anyone who wouldn’t. He continued to stare in awe, but his look turned into a glare as the taller boy ruffled his hair. What the fuck was he five? If he was six foot something he’d never have this problem.

His quick moment of annoyance immediately vanished as Joon walked away from him, giving Gikwang the perfect opportunity to glance at that perky butt of his. He was so mesmerized he almost didn’t catch what Joon said. “Huh? Oh yeah, perfect weather for anything really." Gikwang agreed because it was true. He had yet experienced horrible weather since he arrived on this island. With that in mind, an idea popped into Gikwang’s head. His entire plan was to bond with Joon as much as possible, that way they’d grow closer together and then become a couple and adopt a dog named Tibbers.

"You look like you can use a little sun," Gikwang commented. He felt like he wasn’t wrong for saying this. When the other man opened the door to let him in his smile felt…forced. Gikwang ignored it at first but then he felt awkward as he was making the toast. He was starting to like maybe Joon was bothered by him being there, but he saw a twinkle in the other’s eye as he accepted his toast. In short, Joon wasn’t in the cheerful mood he was when Gikwang first met him (which is saying something seeing as he tripped him on the ground).

Gikwang wondered if it had anything to do with that Hongki guy Joon was going to see when they bumped into each other. Maybe things weren’t working out, but Gikwang figured it wouldn’t with a guy named Hongki. It was Gikwang’s job to cheer this beautiful man up. He walked up behind him and started massaging his shoulders. “Let’s go swimming!" He suggested. “The water will feel amazing on a day like this!" This would also give Gikwang the opportunity to see Joon shirtless, but he kept this piece of information to himself. He gripped the boy’s shoulders and steered him to the rooms in the cottage. “Go get your trunks and some sunblock." He gently pushed Joon in the direction of his room then sat on the couch to wait patiently for him.

[cirque-joon]

Shoulders at first stiffening at the sudden contact, Joon however relaxed quickly, finding that Gikwang's fingers were quite great at massaging. "Yeah... And apparently my tan is attractive, so," he made with a slight scoff, a smile tugging insistently at the corners of his mouth. Despite the current situation and whose hands were on him, Joon found his mind momentarily traveling back to the day before, when Hongki had told him something alike to that and how stupidly it had stuck with him although he had attempted to will it away. Engulfing the rest of his toast to refrain his smile from widening too much, he let Gikwang redirect him towards his bedroom, only stumbling a bit when pushed forward. Damn, why was it that he always seemed to trip when around that boy?

Rubbing his hands together to get rid of the bread crumbs and pieces of sugar sticking to his fingertips, he lightly shook his head as he walked past the doorframe to his room. Closing the door behind him without looking back, for he was going to come out in a minute anyway, he quickly grabbed a pair of swimming trunks and a loose t-shirt from his drawers and changed from his sleeping attire to his newly found one. Lightly combing his hair with his fingers, he exited his room afterwards, ready to go. Going to wash his face or clean his teeth seemed pointless to him, seeing as they were going to swim and that eating breakfast had taken care of his morning breath.

Stopping in front of the couch, he looked down at Gikwang with a bright smile on his lips, all fakeness gone for the moment. Joon's thought process was quite simple, in all honesty. Thus, if he kept his mind off painful things, chances were he wouldn't feel the ache much and would be able to be happy despite the problems still following close, waiting to catch up. "Let's go?" he casually asked, tilting his head towards the door, then heading in the pointed direction. He didn't grab any kind of shoes, thinking that he would have to take them off before entering the water anyway, so that they would simply be a bother.

Walking outside, he savored the feeling of sand slipping between his toes for a short moement before he resumed his walk and laughed lightly at nothing in particular, mostly content with the nice weather. The sun felt warm on his lightly tanned skin and the salty air filling his lungs made him feel truly home. Finally reaching the spot on the beach where the sand turned wet, he waited for waves to crash over his feet a few times, testing the water's temperature. "Not too cold," he stated, and at that, he tugged on the hem of his shirt to pull it over his head, throwing it a few feet behind himself. After all, if he was to tan and get wet, he wanted the tint of his skin to be even and not to get a layer of fabric to annoyingly cling to him.

[xcirque-hongki]

Ignite Me || Hongki x Joon

Even though he would never readily admit it, Hongki did have a few fears that he kept locked up inside of him. One of those few fears, however, he was trying to stare at in the face, wary eyes watching flickering flames as they danced against the night sky. There was an odd beauty to the delicate way that the flames moved, and yet no one knew the violent power that they held more than Hongki. The faces of those that he had lost because of fire flickered in and out of the flames, and yet there he stood on the edge of the crowd, idly chatting to one of the children of the Circus. He hardly noticed as the kid said he had to go do something and his reply was only half assed , eyes too engrossed in making sure that the flames did not get close.

The fire popped once and  Hongki winced, but the effect was small. He felt his heart race and he shivered , trying to keep himself from running away. It was only the first night of the festivities, he couldn’t be seen running away from the flames. And for once, he was actually sober for an event like this so he couldn’t blame it on the alcohol or anything. No, he had to pretend to be their fearless leader although he knew that none of them expected it. He saw golden eyes staring at him from further away in the darkness, wide with the fear mirrored in his own. Fei. She was just as frightened as he was.

Another loud pop from the flames caused him to jump back as the flames reached out, seemingly trying to grab him and pull him into  their deadly embrace. He stumbled backward, his back colliding with someone’s chest. He was bent at an odd direction, the only thing keeping him up being the strong arms that were now looped under his arms to keep him from falling to the ground. He looked up, eyes wide with fear as they connected with Joon’s eyes. “J-Joon…” He managed to choke out. If anyone could see the fear and him be ok with it other than Fei, it would be Joon. 

[cirque-joon]

Joon had spent most of the day chatting with people, listening to others talk and admire how the sky went from a bright blue color to numerous shades of pink stained with purple as hours ticked away. The arrival of the night was a sweet reminder that Hongki was most probably awake now, no longer hiding away from the light like a damn vampire. Joon had found out the hard way that the leader didn't particularly like being up during the day when he first had gone to see him and that the elder had fallen asleep on him almost as soon as they had sat down, but also some few times between then and now when he had had trouble waking him up. In the end, he simply had settled for going to bother him after dusk had laid itself on the world.

And, well, with it being dark enough for the bonfire to be set alight, Joon judged it a good time to begin his search for his friend. He slid past dancing bodies and through chatting circles while carefully observing faces and silhouettes in hope to find Hongki, senses alert to the slightest hint of said man's presence; his laugh, a glimpse of colored hair, a wiff of his scent. Some orbs of light accompanied him to guide his steps, for despite the bonfire and the dim lighting the moon offered, Joon still felt quite anxious because of the general darkness.

Pausing in his steps, lightly worrying his bottom lip as he squinted his eyes in another attempt to find the man he was looking for, the light creator finally spotted his frame nearby the pyramid of flames some feet away. Approaching that particular emplacement, smile now hung onto his features, he was about to tap on the blond male's shoulder when a light crack rose from the bonfire, apparently greatly startling him. Catching just in time after he collided with him, Joon managed to keep him in an upright position, all while being confused as to exactly what had happened. Had a piece of burning wood landed on his skin and burned him? Had he simply tripped?

When eyes peered into his, however, he immediately recognized the emotion they held, associating it to the same emotion Baek had had plastered on his features countless times and for various reasons. Heart lurching painfully in his chest at the thought of knowing about Hongki being afraid, mind instantaneously forgetting about Baek, Joon moved to wrap his strong hands aroun the elder's biceps and spun him around with as much delicacy as he could afford while animated with worry. Once Hongki faced him, unable to see the fire behind him now, Joon mumbled a "Come on, it's okay," and began to pull him away, isolating him from the crowd that had gathered around the bonfire and from the bonfire itself. To get Hongki alone and reassure him, that was what was important for now.

One of his arms fell to his side and he slipped his hand in the other's as they walked, the roaring of the crowd and the music subsiding lightly as he led them towards the cottages. He didn't walk all the way to his house just yet, though, and stopped in front of a random one, turning to Hongki in order to check on him. Hopefully, with the supposed source of his fear away from him now, the leader would feel better and less afraid. Gaze soft and eyebrows creased in concern, Joon placed his free hand on his friend's shoulder, letting it linger there for a brief moment before he pulled him in his embrace, muscled arms wrapping almost protectively around his frame.

[cirque-joon]

Forced Distraction | Hongki & Joon.

[xcirque-hongki]

“Well, most people who smile all the time and laugh as much as you do are annoying. Plus the fact that you never seem to be able to keep a shirt on,” Hongki mused slightly, a small smile pulling at his lips as he thought of the countless times he had seen the other without his shirt on. Not that he really had ever minded, Joon was quite possibly the most attractive male at the circus. But still, the seemingly happy-go-lucky manner of the other person had always put him off. Hongki was more of a realist than he was an optimist, even though there were those times where even he would give a bright smile and a lot of laughter.   He now realized that he had judged the other too quickly.

Two years of what could have been an amazing friendship wasted because he wasn’t willing to look past the exterior of another person. Typical of him. He let out a sigh, trying to fight the darkness that threatened to take over his vision. Sleep called to him but he wasn’t quite sure that he was willing to go back into the world of dreams right then. Because, for the first time since Gain’s death, he actually was happy.

When Joon mentioned Ren, Hongki made a grunt and moved his head a bit, trying to pull out of the sleepy stage that was pulling at him long enough to talk. “Yesterday he-“ A large yawn passed over his lips, “- woke me up by knocking on my door. I answered the door with no shirt on –bad call—and it was him. I offered him tea, trying to be nice. People had warned me that he had this obsession with me but –“ another yawn interrupted his speech, “—I had tried to ignore it and try to be nice. But no, his lips went against my chest and his hands… well. Lets just say I never want to be alone with him. Ever. Again. I don’t have any issues with guys. Or kissing guys. Just… He’s a kid and honestly he’s kind of creepy…” He admitted, his words slowing down as they continued. The last sentence ended off in a sleepy whisper, his eyes having closed somewhere on the way to the end of his little story.

His nose made its way to Joon’s stomach, nuzzling against the other for a small amount of extra warmth.  He had never realized that he had been clutching at the hem  of Joon’s shirt, nor the fact that he was generally never comfortable enough around other people to fall asleep on them like that. Perhaps he had finally found someone that he just didn’t have to try with. Joon had seen every side of Hongki and yet he had still come to see him and make sure that he was ok. A small smile spread across his face as he fell into a rather deep sleep, a small tear rolling down his cheek. Maybe, for once, he’d have someone who wouldn’t leave him.

[cirque-joon]

Again listening quietly and nodding his head at appropriate moments, Joon however couldn't help the scoff that left his lips upon hearing about the situation that had happened with Ren. He kept most of his amusement to himself, though, seeing as he figured that getting kissed by someone you depicted as creepy and a kid couldn't exactly be the most pleasant experience of your life. He would be lying if he said his ears didn't catch on what Hongki said about kissing boys more than everything else, and he classified this piece of information under the 'interesting' category, tagging it as 'to remember absolutely' as well. Hell, who knew when it might come in handy?

Mentally kicking himself for that, he shook his head lightly. It wasn't fair to Hongki, who just had lost Gain, and to Baek. Or, well, the memory that was left of Baek. "I'll keep him away," Joon promised on a joking tone, but mostly in order to distract himself and keep his other thoughts away. In fact, he was half serious, feeling a hint of protectiveness blossom in his chest concerning the cirque's leader. Witnessing the elder curling into him and lightly pressing his nose to his stomach only intensified the feeling, too, and in ways Joon failed to comprehend. He simply blamed the fact he wouldn't want to see anything happen to the leader of their tightly-knit family, whereas that was only a fragment of the truth.

Without truly realizing he did so, Joon kept his gaze settled on the blond male for some minutes, eyes running over his peaceful features and also a bit lower, to his gently heaving chest. It took him a while before he reached out to wipe the line of moisture from Hongki's cheek, afraid to disturb the man's slumber for a second time that day, but eventually he did, for the idea of him crying bothered him quite a lot.

Joon spent some more time sitting there, with perhaps what he could now dare call a friend lying on his lap, simply eyeing the sea and how brightly it shone thanks to the sun, which still stood high in the sky. He eventually decided to move Hongki, making him sit up, wrapping an arm around his waist and curling a second under his knees so he could lift him up. Carrying him back to his cottage with some efforts -- because really, Hongki might have seemed light, but once asleep he wasn't so much --, Joon awkwardly stood in front of the door before figuring out a way to turn the knob and push the piece of wood open with his foot. Thankfully Hongki's house had a single bedroom, thus he didn't have trouble finding where he slept and lying his body on his still undone bed.

All in all, they hadn't spent much time together, but Joon felt better now that he had had some company and human contact, and he told himself there could always be a second time in a near future. He didn't dare taking off the man's clothing, considering it as inadequate, but he at least pulled off his shoes so they wouldn't dirty the sheets. Leaning down, he smoothed some of the blond strands of hair that stuck out a bit and pulled back before he could bend lower and press his lips to a warm forehead, surely simply out of habit. After that, the light creator left the room on the tip of his toes, being careful not to make a sound. This time, he meant to let the other sleep, leave him in company of his dreams instead of pulling him to consciousness.

The end~

[cirque-joon]

So, this year is my first college year. And my college is in another city, so I have to bus there and then take the metro. To go there it went super well! And I felt very proud because my sense of orientation sucks balls...

But then on my way back.. Guess who got lost? haha.

Overall, I think I'll be fine now. I'm looking forward attending my classessss.

[cirque-joon]

Forced Distraction | Hongki & Joon.

[xcirque-hongki]

Hongki squirmed a bit when Joon called him Hyung, the word sitting weird with him. He opened his eyes as He tried to think back to the last time that someone had used that word, but the only person who came to his mind was Ren. And Ren… “Somehow, Hyung sounds better coming from you than it does from Ren. Ren..” Hongki made a disgusted look but said nothing else, not really wanting to think of the way that the other had advanced on him recently. He shuddered and looked away from Joon. “Don’t go near Ren if you don’t want to be creeped out for the rest of your life,” He advised, wiggling a bit to get more comfortable.

“Ahh, don’t worry about it. I shouldn’t coop myself up so often. Maybe just bring me sunglasses next time. For someone who has such an issue with sun, I keep misplacing mine,” Hongki said, yawning as his fatigue hit him again. He hadn’t been sleeping for long before Joon had woken him up and his normally busy schedule had already left him sleep deprived. He yawned again and stretched out a bit, taking care with each of his muscles so that they didn’t knot up in the process. “Just make sure that they aren’t gaudy,” He said, winking at the other as he tried to lift the mood. He wasn’t so shallow as to notice the pain in Joon’s face even as he tried to hide it.

Hongki’s eyes fluttered back closed as the other ran his fingers through his hair. Normally this kind of closeness would have bugged him, but it reminded him of how he had allowed Hyoyeon to do the same to comfort him on several occasions. A shudder ran up his spine but he hummed softly at the contact, moving his head into Joon’s hand a bit. The gesture was calming. “Stressful, but it’s worth it.” His eyes opened up and he looked up at Joon, eyes serious. “But this place is my home. It’s been my home for most of my life and even though I can’t stand some of the people here, I’d rather it be me punching them instead of someone else. Like annoying siblings, I guess.”

Hongki then closed his eyes again. “Why haven’t we hung out before this? You’re not as annoying as I thought you were, no offense..” He said, realizing what he had said could be seen as rude. He really needed to learn to think before he spoke.

[cirque-joon]

Moving his hand away a tad in order to let the other stretch freely, only rolling his eyes playfully at the sleepy actions, Joon let his hand rest of Hongki's chest for a moment. He was barely aware of that, instead taking note that he should find some sunglasses somewhere in a near future. He resumed his combing gesture in his hair soon enough, and a strange shiver ran across his nerves when Hongki leaned into his touch, humming appreciatively, but he chose to ignore it.

Joon nodded and hummed at appropriate places in Hongki's speech, listening more than he spoke, seeing as he wasn't truly talented with words. The elder's last sentence however made him erupt in a frank and loud laughter, proof that there was no offense taken at all. "Probably because you thought I was annoying, yeah?" he suggested, lips stretched into a grin that let his teeth show. He took his hand from Hongki's hair for a second and he pressed his palm to his face, pushing down lightly in order to tease him.

"But, uhm... Ren... Is he one of those you want to punch?" Joon asked with a lighter laugh. He didn't know the blond boy much, but he seemed quite like the troublemaker as far as he was concerned. Plus, with Hongki's oh so kind words about him, he didn't have trouble adding two plus two together to understand he was right to a certain extent.

Looking down at the elder and noting how peaceful he looked with his eyes closed, simply lying his head on his lap, the brunet resumed his stroking of his hair once more, the movement coming easily to him. He hadn't had much of a chance to realize he liked calm, physical proximity in the past, one night stands adding to having friends who didn't enjoy being touched so much, and then, of course, Baek... Swallowing down a lump in his throat at that thought, he lightly shook his head to shrug off the painful thought, instead refocusing on Hongki and his blond hair.

[cirque-joon]

Forced Distraction | Hongki & Joon.

[xcirque-hongki]

Hongki was grateful that Joon didn’t make fun of him for his eyes. It wasn’t something that he put out in the open. It was something that he was embarrassed of, a weakness that other people could exploit and use against him. Joon led him to the shade and the other’s body quickly dropped away. Hongki blinked, squinting his eyes as it adjusted to the shade before realizing that Joon was now sitting on the ground. He put his hands on his hips as he tried to figure out what to do.

Generally Hongki wasn’t the type to like physical contact, but Joon had become one of the rare exceptions. While he wasn’t as close to Joon as he was to Fei or Zelo, he had known the other for a few years and they had been wokring together for a few years. In that time, Joon had used Hongki as an armrest, dragged him somewhere or other by the arm or jumped on him in excitement so many times that Hongki no longer really cared that he did it. In fact, the day that Joon wasn’t all touchy would be the day that Hongki started to worry about him.

Hongki then smirked, dropping to the ground and putting his head in Joon’s lap, closing one eye before looking up at Joon with his one open eye and a smirk on his face. “You woke me up, your punishment is to be my pillow. Get over it,” He said, moving to pull his hood down so that it wasn’t pulling on him. “Thanks… about the whole moving to shadow thing. Unfortunately my eyes don’t adjust to light well. I’m pretty sure that it’s because my ability is to work with shadow,” He said, shrugging and closing his other eye. “And thanks for coming in and rescuing me. I guess I should get out from time to time.”

[cirque-joon]

Catching the smirk on the other's face, Joon's smile became a bit more honest, less hesitant. It however momentarily faded when Hongki dropped to his knees as well, casually placing his head on his lap. Swallowing thickly, Joon attempted to keep at bay images of Baek, seeing as he often had wished to simply sit with him this way, and thankfully succeeded for the most part. It however didn't keep his heart from lurching painfully in his chest, enough for Joon's next smile to look more like a grimace than anything happy. "Whatever you say, hyung," he mumbled with a bit of humor, looking up and at the ocean so that Hongki wouldn't see his features as easily.

Then came words of gratitude, which somehow went straight to Joon's heart, soothing the wounds scattered over its surface and the renewed ache. In a way, he found it silly that the elder thanked him for things that came naturally to him, but he was truly glad that his actions had helped. "It's nothing, really..." he replied, tone soft, a light chuckle bubbling past his lips afterwards. "I'll drag you out at night next time, though." After all, Joon might have been afraid of the dark, but it didn't physically pain him the way light hurt the shadow manipulator's eyes. Surely if he had been aware of that before, he would have been more careful with the time he went to pull the man out of his cabin.

Peering back down at the blond man, he brought a hand up to mindlessly fix some strands of his hair. Movement at first light, Joon then threaded his fingers through the locks, gently combing them as he rested his head against the trunk behind him. His excuse, if asked, would be that Hongki hadn't had time to fix his hairdo since they had left his cottage so quickly, but truthfully, Joon simply seeked a certain closeness to make up for the loneliness he had been feeling these days, and that without completely realizing it. "So... How's leading the circus these days?" he asked, pausing in his stroking as he spoke, but resuming it afterwards.

[cirque-joon]

Joon's page is undergoing a revamp. I changed the theme for now, and tomorrow I will revamp the pages, such as relationships, paras, etc.

I'll be all set again pretty soon.

[oh-my-mblaq]

[cirque-joon]

Sweet And Sour | Gikwang & Joon.

[excirque-gikwang-deactivated201]

Bleep! Bleep! Ble-Gikwang’s hand slammed down on the alarm clock sitting at the side of his bed. Still half asleep with his eyes shut his head rose up and then fell back down on his pillow. He rolled onto his back and rubbed his left eye before finally opening them both to stare at his cottage ceiling. He glanced at the alarm clock, it was close to nine in the morning. “This should be illegal," He groaned, rolling off the bed. Although he was already used to the circus schedule of sleeping during the day and performing at night, Gikwang wanted to start up his morning jogs again. Deciding to finally suck it up, Gikwang slipped on a white T-shirt over his chest, a pair of sweats and his jogging shoes before going to his bathroom to splash water on his face.

Once outside, Gikwang breathed in the fresh air and started up a pace running down the trail. He never listened to music because he didn’t feel like being bothered with the rays of light. Instead Gikwang admired the beautiful island that was now his home. Although his stay so far was giving him a roller coaster of emotions, he had to admit that it was the first time in a long time that he felt like he belonged somewhere. He turned the corner and started walking as he spotted one of the little helpers he knew from his show.

"Hey!" He called out. The boy turned around, smiled, and ran to him. After they greeted each other Gikwang gave him a look that asked if he was able to accomplish his little mission. The boy grinned a toothy grin and handed him a piece of paper. Gikwang looked at the scribbling inside and gave his own smile to the boy. He reached into his pocket and handed the kid twenty dollars. The boy took the money and ran off, Gikwang started heading back to the cottages. Number 288, that’s what was written down. As soon as Gikwang finished unpacking his instruments that first day, he found the boy and asked him to find out where Joon lives. He had been on the musician’s mind ever since they bumped into each other…or something similar to that.

When he reached the cottage Gikwang took a deep breath and knocked on the door. “Hey, its Gikwang!" He shouted, knocking again. He waited a bit until the door opened to reveal the amazing specimen that was Lee Joon. Goddammit, why is he so damn beautiful, he thought. He smiled up at the boy in front of him. “Surprise! Nice place you got here." He pushed his way inside, his hand lingering on Joon’s chest as he passed by. He looked around the cottage, realizing it was exactly like his only different furniture. He walked towards the kitchen, his eyes landing on the half eaten toast on the table. “Oh toast, I’m starving!" He grabbed the bread and took a bite, his face disliking how bland it was. He turned to Joon. “How can you eat like this? Here," He went to the kitchen counter and popped in two more pieces of bread into the toaster, as they toasted he reached into the cabinets for butter and sugar. When the toast was ready he slapped on some butter before sprinkling them with sugar. He grabbed one and walked towards Joon. “Try this, my mom would make this for me when she got home from work." He lifted it up to Joon’s lips, refusing to take no for an answer.

[cirque-joon]

Sudden knock on the door startling him from his thoughts, Joon lifted his head and shook his bangs from his eyes to stare at the door dumbly. Somehow, he hoped one of his roommates would go and answer for him, but then he realized they were both gone, so that he was truly alone in this empty cottage. Although not for much longer, he thought when a familiar voice shouted from behind the wooden wall.

Eyes dull, glossy even, the light creator forced a smile on as he walked to the door, practicing his mask for until he would be genuinely happy again. More often than not, his mood could change rather quickly, which he found to be a blessing these past days, so hopefully it wouldn't take long before his grin actually reached his eyes and mind. He couldn't help but let it falter a bit when Gikwang pushed past him, however, if only because he was surprised by the blunt action. "Uhm, thank you..." Joon murmured, a light crease forming in his eyebrows.

He didn't ask himself how Gikwang had found his cottage, seeing as, after two years in the circus, Joon had gotten quite use to the community feel and how nothing could be kept to oneself for too long. In his mind, Gikwang only acted as one of his roommates, which didn't bother him much; he wasn't very possessive over his belongings and considered every member as family, new or not. He simply shut the door and spun on his heels to observe the straightforward man move around the kitchen. Joon was being abnormally quiet, he was aware of that, but yet he couldn't pry his lips apart to utter up some words, even as the toasts cooked and that a silence stretched between the two individuals.

When Gikwang approached once more, the small height difference more obvious up close, Joon simply opened his mouth to bite into the toast. Indeed, he found himself more pleased with the sugary taste on his tongue now, and chewed a bit more happily than he had before. Some bits of sugar sticked to his lips, which he ran his tongue over before reaching upwards to take the slice of grilled bread between his own fingers. "Thank you," he made, a hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "It does taste better like that." Taking another bite, crumbs sticking to the edges of his mouth, he took note of the simple recipe for future reference and ruffled Gikwang's hair with his free hand to prove his gratitude.

Contouring the shorter male and walking to the window, he peered outside to check the weather. Sunny, as it had been since they had arrived. "It's nice out today, huh?" he randomly asked, taking another mouthful of sugary toast.

[cirque-joon]

As Bitter As Black Coffee | Mir & Joon.

[cirque-mir]

Where everything else had scattered around him like lost dreams on the Styx, somehow the kaleidoscope had managed to reveal Joon’s visage amongst everything else, giving him a twig to grasp, something to hang onto when the current seemed to be dragging everything away from him. The focus Baekhyun used to possess had been given to his precious one instead, and therefore he didn’t miss the quiet noise the other produced. It hurt after all this, to still know that the other feared him, but nothing had really changed. If anything, he expected the man to blame him for the other’s departure.

So when he moved over to offer Mir some room, an almost agonized lurch bounced in his chest, and he shifted just a bit closer, so he didn’t sit on the ground, as he listened to the other. The words rang sadly out and a wave of sympathy pain washed over the epileptic, it choking him with an intensity he normally could never experience. When it had been returned, however, he swallowed painfully and answered in a brittle voice, “…I don’t think I am.” He still couldn’t look at Joon, feelings of shame causing his cheeks to color miserably and have him duck his head. “Everything’s cloudy again…”

Taking in a breath that hurt his chest, he looked over at Joon when he saw the other move, his eyebrows rising at the offered coffee. Watching him for a moment, eyes filled with nerves and uncertainty, he reached out with a shaky hand to take the mug. Gripping it as tightly as he could manage, Mir not wanting to drop and shatter it, he glanced carefully once more at the other, giving him one last chance to withdraw the offer, before he took a small drink that mainly wet his lips and throat.

“Thank you…” he murmured softly, Mir holding it back out to the elder, “I appreciate it. I can’t tell you the last time I’ve had something in my stomach.” A sad chuckle escaped and he looked at the other, commenting almost dazedly, like his attention wasn’t doing the best job to hang on anymore, “You look so much more at ease than I would have expected…so much stronger than I could ever dream. I envy you. But at the same time, your position is worse, so much worse… I’m sorry. So sorry, Joon.” He looked back down, teeth worrying his lower lip to the point that even with the milky coffee, had wound up splitting and bleeding.

[cirque-joon]

Cloudy? For a moment Joon was confused. His exhausted mind couldn't add up Mir's words with the current weather, which was sunny and warm, but he eventually understood that Mir probably didn't mean to talk about the state of the sky. He thought perhaps the boy talked about a hazy mind or vision, which made a tinge of worry peak through his own pain. Sadly, Joon found he didn't know how to care for him. In fact, he didn't even know much about him.

Taking his mug back when Mir gave it to him, he hummed distractedly, mind not all present or fully awake. Since Baekhyun was gone, he felt strangely lethargic, weary and, most of all, incomplete. The ache accompanied by his loss had to be doubled by the current unability to confess his feelings, as well as by the thought he never would be able to do so now. Baekhyun would never know of his love for him, and Joon feared having to keep that burden on his heart for the rest of his life.

Yet, when Mir mentioned his position being worse, he couldn't accept the words. He couldn't understand how, despite it all, his pain would be any greater than Mir's. "It's... No..." he made, words not really coherent together. How was he supposed to reply to this? Say that it was okay? That the demon invocator was right, that yes Joon's position was so much worse? "We're in the same boat... But... We'll get through." Sighing loudly, attempting to push some of his sadness past his lips together with his breath, Joon's shoulders slumped forward. He terribly wanted to believe in his own words, and also Mir's -- that he was strong, so strong --, but he seemed to fall apart piece after piece, threatening to destroy his soul and heart fully, but he couldn't bring himself to it. "We'll... find a way to... not... We'll... find a way to... feel better soon." His words were hesitant, just like his train of thoughts, like the heavy flow of feelings rushing through him. He however couldn't bring himself to admit weakness in front of the other just yet, or perhaps he felt the need to protect him from more pain they might induce themselves if they fell in pity and despair.

[cirque-joon]

Sweet And Sour | Gikwang & Joon.

Another day, another chance to move on, but Joon decided to stay behind again. He wasn't done reminiscing, hadn't managed to pull himself away from the poignant memories and in a way, he didn't feel like doing so. Sure, if something interesting came up, he might be able to seize it and leave his gloomy angst, but nothing seemed to come his way for now.

Staring down at the pieces of toasts in his plate as he sat at the small kitchen table of his shared cottage, it was without much appetite that he poked at the dry bread. He watched with dull eyes as crumbs fell on ceramic plate, but beside it as well. Baekhyun should have been with him to share this ordinary breakfast. He should have been present to make it special. Because anything Joon did with Baekhyun became special, somehow, and he couldn't get used to the idea that now, everything was going back to being boring and sparkless, like his buttered toasts.

Shaky sigh leaving his parted lips, he seized the toast and brought it to his lips, biting with anger in the tasteless food. Joon knew life wasn't easy. It didn't give many gifts, very rarely was generous, and that exactly had been why he had been so careful with Baekhyun. He had been a precious thing coming out of nowhere, someone Joon wanted to treasure a care for until the end of time. But, apparently, life had decided to make the end of time happen quicker than expected, and had pulled Baekhyun away from him without a warning.

Swallowing down a mouthful of dry crumbs and a sob, the light creator shook his head vigorously in hope to brush such thoughts off his mind. Soon, he would have to find a new distraction, because at this rhythm, despair would eat at him completely before he finished his toast. Be damned the reluctantness to move on, he had to find something to occupy his gloomy mind.

[cirque-joon]

Forced Distraction | Hongki & Joon.

[xcirque-hongki]

At least one of the two could be in a good mood. In fact, it looked like Joon had enough good mood for the both of them combined, so Hongki didn’t even try to hide his cranky I-just-woke-up-so-you-best-leave-me-alone mood. “It’s definitely not attractive.” Well, that was a lie. Joon was an incredibly attractive person. And due to the man’s inability to keep his shirt on, Hongki had found himself staring at each and every perfect muscle more than just a few times. But Joon had always been a tad too dumb for Hongki to really want to be with, and he had always had a crush on Baek, even though Joon would probably never admit it to him.

Baek. Hongki felt his heart sink as he realized that said name was one of the names of people who had recently gone missing. It was a feeling that Hongkki could relate too, one he had been actively trying to avoid. Suddenly his cranky mood vanished and he looked down at his feet. Way to go, asshole. Only thinking about yourself again. “Ok, maybe it is. Doesn’t mean I want my skin to be tan,” He said with a sigh, ruffling the back of his already messy hair. Had he just admitted out loud that Joon was attractive? Well whatever, the fucker knew he was already anyways.

Hongki allowed Joon to yank him out of the bedroom and out of the house. He didn’t have the heart to reject, knowing that the other was looking for a distraction. Who knew, maybe getting out when people were awake would be good for him too. Hongki winced and grumbled inaudibly as the sun hit his eyes and he quickly pulled his hood up in an attempt to shield them. But, it was no use. One drawback of his ability was that his eyes and light didn’t go well together at all. It would be a good hour before he could fully open his eyes out here, and the sun shining off of the ocean? Yeah, that was painful. He let out a sigh and placed his other hand on Joon’s forearm of the hand he was dragging Hongki with. “You’re gonna have to keep a hold of me for a bit, I can’t see well. The sun hurts.”

[cirque-joon]

Oblivious to Hongki's train of thoughts, Joon only was a bit surprised when he seemed to change his opinion on his tan in a matter of seconds. Pleasantly so, however. A subtle flush crept up his neck and cheeks at the flattery, but he his his mild embarrassment with a slightly smug smile. He didn't comment on anything, aware of the other's bad mood and not willing to worsen it with some unpleasant remark that would make him seem too full of himself. Thus, he kept his lips sealed and solely chuckled, focusing on the feeling of sand under his feet more than that inflicted by the compliment.

Joon headed towards the ocean, the sound of waves a repetitive yet beautiful melody that pulled him in and seemed to soothe his troubles. Plus, with the sun reflecting on its surface, it shone like a hundred suns, which made the light creator smile broadly despite needing to squint his eyes a bit to protect his retinas. He only slowed down when a second hand gripped onto his arm. Then, he came to a halt and turned his head towards Hongki, worried he had pushed too much and had angered him to a point of no return. He was going to let go of his hand when the sigh reached his ears, but the words following close dissuaded him from doing so. He easily agreed to the condition, humming in answer. "Alright. Uhm, yeah. Let's sit in the shade..." he mumbled loudly enough, although more for himself than for the other.

He changed directions, heading more to the left than forward now, and kept his pace slow so that he didn't drag Hongki, now, but simply led the way. They reached a tree that had half of its roots planted deep in the sand, and the other half in soil and grass. Its positioning was somewhat odd, stuck between two types of landscape, beach and forest, but Joon barely let that fact bother him. Instead, he moved Hongki so that his back would point towards the ocean, seeing as Joon had noticed how bright it looked. "There. You can sit, I guess. There shouldn't be too much light here."

Releasing the elder's wrist, he smiled a bit hesitantly and dropped to the ground beneath his feet, pressing his back to the tree's trunk behind him. He dared to hope Hongki's eyes wouldn't hurt as much now that they were shielded from the sun's direct rays, for he really disliked the thought of putting his collegue through pain to sate his need for entertainment. He wasn't selfish and didn't want to be considered as selfish. It simply happened that his idea of a distraction and the time he had chosen to distract himself didn't please Hongki as much as himself, sadly enough. Perhaps they could make a comprimise next time. Well, if there was a next time.