#cirquehongki

[runawaykozue]

cirque-hongki replied to your post:“[[MOR] so i got posts out but also this Deadite Kuzco: BEING...”

That was legit the funniest conversation I have had in a few weeks. I am a dumbass. But at least I blacked out while I was already in the hospital.

gOOD AT LEAST WE'VE GOT A SELF AWARE DUMBASS ON OUR HANDS

FUCKIN DUMBASS

[runawaykozue]

[cirque-ahyeon]

Reclamation of the Runaway || Ahyeon - Hongki

Aish, why did I wait until now?

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Ahyeon had avoided the blond leader for nearly a month now and she was finally about to confront him. The only part she found bothersome was the fact that she had actually let herself hold out for so long. If she had just gone to him in the beginning, life would be a lot simpler at this point. Not by much of course, but that sort of came with the lifetime contract one signed when entering the Cirque. Either way the brunette continuously scolded herself, vowing to never stray away from her own problems ever again. This would most likely prove to be just another hollow promise, but it was made nonetheless, and even that was uncommon for her.

What was even more astounding about this entire ordeal, howbeit, was that she was the one waiting for him. She was the one tapping her foot with her arms folded over her chest much like a disappointed parent as an unfamiliar bus pulled into the parking area. She was the one displaying an expression that said “I expected more from you.” It was all a part of her plan though. If she caught Hongki breaking a circus rule then they would be even, right? Of course a loud voice within her head teased her for coming up with such an idiotic idea, but she quickly silenced it with stubbornness and irrationality. It was easier to convince herself that her plan would work than to face the truth – the truth that just below the surface, she knew Hongki could never do anything horrible enough to even the score. What she had done was unforgivable and it had led to events so grotesque and so … grieving. Others would find it difficult to come up with reasons as to how Ahyeon could possibly be blamed for such heinous things happening; however for her, coming up with reasons was as easy and effortless as blinking.

The brunette suddenly found herself holding her stomach again, a biting pain forming due to impulsive guilt wreaking havoc once more. How blameworthy could somebody possibly feel!? Was there even a limit? And why was conviction interested in her so abruptly? She had nothing to offer!

Ahyeon pushed the toxic thoughts and feelings back down into that force-forgotten corner within her as she witnessed the bus park and a certain man emerge from the vehicle. As he approached her, her expression softened without her permission and awareness. It was difficult to look at someone with such sourness when you had actually missed them. Hongki happened to be one of the few faces she was genuinely glad to see. She didn't know until now just how glad she was though.

The elemental smoothed any wrinkles from her dress before crossing her arms loosely over her chest once more. Only then did she realize just how much her look of discouragement had faded and so she did what she could to recreate her previous expression, only to fail several times. With an unsatisfied sigh the young woman settled upon an apathetic look which didn't seem to suit her in the least. As the blond drew closer she took in a deep breath, mentally piecing together the way she would greet the other. When he was finally within hearing range, Ahyeon spoke up after a second, short moment of silence.

“Yah!” She called out in a disapproving tone. “You're not supposed to leave the ground alone!” Ahyeon clicked her teeth and popped a hip as if to add attitude. “Don't you know that? You're a manager, aren't you? Aish, what kind of manager does that, huh? Just goes around breaking rules? And then returns like nothing happened?”

After her first rhetorical inquiry, Ahyeon's rant was more toward herself than Hongki. He didn't deserve such reprehension and she knew that. But she'd be lying if she said it didn't feel good to at least let all of that out. It felt relieving to finally chew herself out – even if it was indirectly and appointed at someone who did nothing to earn such reprimand.

“Ah, you're so thoughtless. Don't you know anything?”  

[ex-cirque-amber-blog]

ooc

I'm sorry. 

I'm actually really sorry guys. 

I haven't been round at all (okay that's not quite true, I stalk the dash 24/7 but I mean in terms of posting and replying okay) even though I'm on semi and not full hiatus. That's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about, actually. I'm going to message the admins about it as soon as I wake up (no, I'm not sleep typing right now but I have to be in bed in ten minutes and also have to get ready for bed and what if tumblr eats my message and I just wanted to clarify beforehand and I'll tag the admins but also message the I promise as soon as this headache that really feels a whole lot more like someone clecnhing and unclenching their fist on my brain) but I'm gonna be needing to go on full hiatus. Until..well until Bee (Minho-mun) I think, I'm eally too tired to check and again I will specify this when I message the admins I just really wanted to type this out because I feel like I owe you an explanation. 

See, I thought I could do it. i thought I was okay and I could handle it. Rookie mistake I know. 

Simply put, school's a bitch (now for those of you who know about my issues with profanities and specifically those generally used in a degrading manner towards women and how I don't use them ever because if I do I'll most likely start crying on the spot no I'm not kidding if any of you thuought I was a sane and stable person ha hahaha hahahaha ha- well anyways, those of you will know how  serious I actually mean this). 

I have like three (?) weeks left and I'm barely coping. I don't really want to go into details but I'm really freaking busy. I have so many projects due..I don't even know what to do anymore. I opened up about my struggles with my schedule to a teacher today and he just looked me in the eye and told me, dead serious, that I should just make some choices then. But how. Everything I do counts for my final exams. Everything. I just- 

so yeah 

I wrote a reply to Jjong on Key today. I was at my grandma's and had about half an hour left between homework and dinner because I was starting to see stars and really if I had to do one more math problem my calculator would probably have ended up snug between my grandmother's lovely self-grown cucumbers. So yeah, I wrote a reply 600 words which is like a big deal for me nowadays because I can't get anyttyhing written down lately (and trust me I've tried) and I was actually quite proud of it because well it was just so Key (and I've been making Alyssa wait way too long and the Storm and and and)  but then I got called down for dinner. Yes the dramatic but (I just wrote butt that's how tired I am dramatic butt what even am i supposed to picture idek) was necessary, because I had written it in a word doc as I do but it just..the omputer froze ust as I went to save thedocument and soon after everything just crashed. Of course I only figured this out after I had gone up to check upon finishing my dinner (it was delicious, btw) and when I did see it I just broke down. 

I started crying like a two year old who had stubbed its toe and I just couldn't stop. And I didn't. Both my grandma and my mother now question my sanity which is just great because I'd made such an effort of not crying on front of my family (because really my mood swings are just ridiculous,  one momennt I'll exclaim this is the happiest I've felt in weeks..the next I'll be holdng my knees and rocking back and forth in fetal position on th efloor) and I just kept crying the entire ride home. It actually went as far as my mom stopping the car to come and give me a hug. I just couldn't explain why I was crying..I just kept repeating I was tired. 

Which I am. I guess that was the real reason of this ooc (which I realize, as I skim it lighlty makes me appear at least a little more stable than I'm feeling right now so that's a good thing). So in retrospect it could've been shorter. But idek. I'll probably delete this in the morning. I just need to vent?

Anyways, basically I calmed down after the hug  (in part because just afterwards exo came to me, speaking words of wisdom, singing baby don't cry and I just kind of smiled awkwardly through my tears because they're sUCH DORKS)

and now I'm sitting here, in an alarming state of undress (shh, I'm wearing a shirt. Also undergarments) because i wsa in the middle of changing when I realized I should typpe this. Becuase that's smart. Yes. 

I forgot what i was talking about or what I still wanted to say but really I love you guys and you rock and-

I should go sleep now. 

[xcirque-gongchan-blog]

Shadows // GongchanXHongki

A grin was plastered across Gongchan’s face and he ran through the Cirque grounds. He had spent most of his time thinking about how to cheer up his Appa; after hearing the horrible news that people had left, he knew Hongki was going to be sad. It was just how he was; Hongki had always blamed himself for everything, even when they were growing up. He knew Gain was someone Hongki loved, and it was the kind of love Donghae had told him about. The one that wasn’t for Appas and Ummas, but was for other special people.

Reaching the blue tent, he stepped inside without even thinking about knocking. He was aware that it was a little odd for him to be out in his pyjamas, but that was all a part of his plan. “Appa!” Calling out, he smiled as wide as he could, trying to be happy enough for the both of them, before crossing the tent and wrapping his arms around Hongki’s shoulders. It looked like he was working on something incredibly boring, all the more reason to distract him.

“Appa, can I stay here with you? My tent smells funny.” It was a bit of a lie. Donghae had stopped drinking that gross adult stuff a while ago, so the smell wasn’t too bad. He just needed an excuse to force Hongki to have a sleepover. His plan was rather dependant on that. Besides, just because they had both grown up didn’t mean they were too old to have sleepovers.