[cisccramon-blog]

Adam: Hello?

Ronan: Hey, what's up?

Adam: I need your help. Can you come here?

Ronan: I can't I'm buying clothes.

Adam: Alright, well hurry up and come over here.

Ronan: Well I can't find them.

Adam: What do you mean you can't find them?

Ronan: I can't find them; there's only soup.

Adam: What do you mean there's only soup?

Ronan: It means there's only soup.

Adam: Well then get out of the soup aisle!

Ronan: Alright you don't have to shout at me!

Ronan: There's more soup!

Adam: What do you mean there's more soup!? GO INTO THE NEXT AISLE!

Ronan: THERE'S STILL SOUP!

Adam: WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?

Ronan: I'M AT SOUP!

Adam: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE AT SOUP?

Ronan: I MEAN I'M AT SOUP!

Adam: WHAT STORE ARE YOU IN?

Ronan: I'M AT THE SOUP STORE!

Adam: WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE?

Ronan: FUCK YOU!

[king-moogle]

[kesus-deactivated20180911]

Me @ space: “what’s up with black holes” Space: “my spussy??”

[foxy-mulder-deactivated20190929]

this is it, the post that incurs armageddon, it was nice knowing you guys

[lumbear]

I guess we know where Spock got his name

[hexane-nightmares]

Why do we say "eat the rich" when we could be saying "voregeoisie"?

[wreck]

[clayjokes]

The police pull my lifeless body from a lake but I’m wearing the funniest hat they’ve ever seen and they can’t stop laughing and keep dropping me back into the water

[cisccramon-blog]

Kaz: do you want to know how I actually hurt my wrist

Jesper: yes

Kaz: I was hula hooping. I attend a class for fitness and fun

Jesper: oh my god

Kaz: I've mastered all the moves. The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie-doodle

Jesper: why are you telling me this

Kaz: because no one will ever believe you

Jesper: you sick son of a bitch

[cheesymovie]

physically? im here, but mentally im in a renaissance painting wearing a silk dress and looking wistfully into the distance

[dandelion-teabag-deactivated202]

Your daily reminder that poetry is not dead

[c3po]

nearly the end of april.. you know what that means 

[m86-deactivated20171116]

this is an advanced joke

[sappy-little-trees]

Yeah um I already played out this confrontation like 10 times in my head so if you could stick to the script I imagined for you, that’d be great, thanks.

[aryaestarks-deactivated20210104]

I’m not going north, child. I’m going home. Where’s home? The Free City of Braavos. Wait. I have something else. More silver won’t make a difference. It’s not silver. It’s iron.

[sabau-blog]

[bidoof]

you’d think websites designed around endless scrolling would have figured out how to unload the content you’ve scrolled past and reload it if you scroll back up instead of just turning the webpage into a fucking html tower of babel

[detrituz]

[androginking]

lol full offense but stop policing how frequently bisexuals date either genders. just cause i’ve dated 5 girls back to back doesn’t make me a lesbian, just like another bisexual woman who has dated 5 men back to back doesn’t make her straight. being bisexual means the person has the potential to be attracted to more than one gender and that’s it. what they do with it is their business so just let us live for crying out loud let us live.

[ultramaga]

“ 5 girls back to back doesn’t make me a lesbian “ Kinda makes it likely that you are more into girls than guys tho’. Guys are much more available as partners for women unless they are quite unattractive. But let’s imagine it was exactly equal that you would select a girl or a guy - that their sex genuinely was irrelevant, and that there was no difference in availability. I’m rusty at maths, but from memory, the chance it’s coincidence is (1/(2^5)) *100% = (1/32) *100% =  0.03125  *100% =3.125% Feel free to correct my maths - it’s been about 35 years now since i did probability. But if i was a betting man - i’m going to say my money is going to be on a woman for your next partner. Maybe you are a lesbian, and maybe dudes need to know that so they don’t get hurt? Just a thought.

[androginking]

hoooooomygodddhooomyygodddhoooooooomygodddlmaaaaaaooooooooooooooooo

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

why is it always these men in particular

[fyeahnormero]