I’m gonna say this as bluntly as possible so people wakey wakey.
You know how in Hotel Transylvania the human Johnny asks Dracula if that myth about a stake to the heart is true, and Dracula rolls his eyes and goes, “yeah, well, who wouldn’t that kill?”
That’s me, to you.
About thinking the Lilo & Stitch Live-Action looks “cute! Good, even!”
Don’t you get it?
They played the music you heard as a little kid. They combined a cute little child actress with all the features of animals your brain is programmed to love—bunny, cat, puppy, dye it blue—and they got the guy who originally voiced Stitch under contract to come back.
“Yeah, well, who wouldn’t think that’s cute?”
It’s a little girl and an amalgamation of your favorite animals set to your childhood. Of course it rings the “cute” bell.
That doesn’t mean it’s good.
It means you’re Pavlov’s dog. They rang a bell, you started drooling for your mint.
A good movie. Is about. The music and the cuteness and the acting ALLLL working TOGETHER. Working together towards what? Working together towards reminding or convincing you of a good, beautiful, true MAIN POINT.
The main point of the original Lilo & Stitch was “Family is choosing to love one another and belong to one another even when you’re flawed.”
It’s why Lilo NOT SCREAMING when she meets Stitch, in contrast to EVERY OTHER CHARACTER WHO MEETS HIM BESIDES HER, is important. Because she’s chosen to love him despite his ugly monstrousness.
It’s why Stitch NOT UNDERSTANDING THAT HE’S BAD is important. Because it would be easier to love a little fellow who wants to be good, versus the actual character Stitch is: bad, likes being bad, and can’t help it on his own.
It’s why Lilo would NEVER IMPLY that “family members are morally good even when they’re not perfect” because if that were the lesson, she would not be trying to teach him to quit wrecking everything he touches, Nani would not try to make Lilo understand that she shouldn’t bite her classmates and would not try to stop herself from yelling at her. No. Family won’t give up on you when you’re bad, but that doesn’t mean they let you keep being bad and call it “good.”
The movie is going to suck because they got the characters wrong down to their core, and because they think all it takes to get you to drool is by ringing a fuzzy CGI bell that sounds like the music and voices from your childhood, which proves they’re lazy.
And they’re right to think that.
Because all you are like “Wow! Disney looks like they’re going to nail this one—based on the trailer where Lilo reacts the same way to Stitch that everybody else does and Stitch is the size of a terrier instead of the size of Lilo herself—duhhhh except for Pleakley not crossdressing lol”
And ya’ll are wrong. Ya’ll aren’t remembering what the real movie was like or why anything in it was actually important if you like those trailers.
