CKM Writes

Welcome to Crack Ship Harbor - A home for ships you’ve probably never even heard of.

[ckm-writes]

Un Favore per la mia Famiglia

As if she didn’t have her hands full dealing with the Balbano family’s new Donna Kristin and her wife Bianca…

Imagine her surprise when Faith who is actually Emily (who is actually Hope) finds out Stephanie has some doppelgängers of her own in the persons of a touring singer, Beca Mitchell, and the hitman Beca is mistaken for, Martha McKay, who both just happened to be in Italy at the same time.

Maybe Stephanie’s busybody nature has rubbed off or maybe Faith has a thing for scrappy little brunettes. Either way, things are about to get interesting again.

[ckm-writes]

“On the night Jane Gloriana Villanueva noticed that nobody had written a Jetra fanfic in over two years, she decided to write a telenovela of her own…”

Rafael: you know we got married at the end of the show, right?

Jane: Shh! I’m trying to remember kissing Petra.

Rafael: When did you…

Jane: [holds up a finger] writer writing here

[ckm-writes]

Wednesday: I said I would try this “making out” idea, but you said you wouldn’t touch me there yet.

Enid: I didn’t. I swear!

[a beat of silence]

Wednesday & Enid: Agnes!

[a disembodied giggle fades away]

[ckm-writes]

At a family dinner

Emma: Mommy can you pass the salt?

*Snow and Regina reach for the shaker at the same time*

David: Yeah, I’m just going to go chop some wood

[ckm-writes]

Cynthia-Rose: Folks always be underestimating my girl just cuz she a freak. Did you know she graduated sum cum louda?

Aubrey: I think you might mean Summa Cum Laude?

Stacie (wrapping her arms around CR): She knows how to be punny. That’s why she gets my goodies. You see, in my case , both are correct *wink*

Aubrey *blushes and sweats profusely*

[ckm-writes]

Beca: *dazed and half breathless *Dude! What was that for?

Stacie: I heard you appreciate tongue-in-cheek humor

[ckm-writes]

Of Wallabies and Giraffes chapter 2

(a teaser anyway)

The expression on Amy’s face when Emily fled the room made her feel as if she had kicked a puppy while stealing a baby’s candy, but Emily didn’t know how else to react, she wasn’t ready for whatever this was supposed to be.  

She would come back in a few hours when she was clear-headed. A few hours became a few days, a few weeks, a few months and, at that point, what was there really to say to make things right. 

Emily tried a LOT of things to put the memory behind her:  

She took up automotive mechanics until she had the strangest conversation with a yellow Volkswagen Beetle.  

She focused on her music and even dabbled in some poetry.  Her sister-in-law REALLY liked her poetry and who knows how the Dickens one deals with a situation as messy as that got. 

She took up archery for a while.  She was exceptional at it too, but she nearly got bitten by a black widow while she was hunting 

Speaking of spiders... never mind that’s a whole multiverse, a web to untangle another day 

Anyway, next she took up magic, the arcane arts if you will, which reminded her of Benji.. And the Bellas and Amy...  

[ckm-writes]

Beca: Too much vibrato is ba-a-ad

Aubrey: Your jokes are as funny as that ear monstrosity you wear.

[ckm-writes]

Amy: And I said what about Breakfast at Tiffany’s? She said…

Lilly: I think I remember the film. And as I recall, it was pretty problematic

Cynthia-Rose: And coming from us that’s saying a lot!

[ckm-writes]

Some lips should be censored

Chloe: So, Amy, I heard you’ve joined Team Experimentation

Cynthia Rose: Raises a hand for a high five

Beca: 🙄

Amy: I just wanted to know…

Lily: If Japanese girls are actually pixelated down there.

*crickets*

Cynthia Rose: *retracts her hand*

[ckm-writes]

Chloe: I get it, Aubrey can be a lot, but maybe don’t blow up at her EVERY time? You know what helps me? We can watch a campaign of Dimension 20. Brennan Lee Mulligan? Very therapeutic!

Beca: Fine! I’ll try it.

[two weeks later]

Aubrey: How about we lose the ear monstrosities?

Beca: Aubrey? I need you… [looks to Chloe who smiles and nods encouragingly] to roll initiative.

[ckm-writes]

Whoops

The Mauler loomed over Stella with his hulking frame.  "It was honestly easier than I expected to get you alone."

Stella rolled her eyes and sighed out, "Congratulations, now please LEAVE me alone."

In a blinding flash, The Mauler had a single hand around Stella's neck, hoisting her a foot off the ground.  "In a few moments, my nemesis Captain Hero will be here to save you and I will settle the score once and for all!"

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."  The familiar voice of the tall dark and handsome Captain Hero.

The Mauler snarled.  "You're too late.  The one you love, that you are always with, is doomed.  Now watch your girlfriend die!"  He squeezed his hand and looked to enjoy the horror on Captain Hero's face.  The look wasn't quite right though.  Come to think of it, the snapping sound in his hand sounded more like an exaggerated retching and his fingers hadn't yet connected.

"Girlfriend?  Seriously?  Gross!"

The Mauler looked to his hand and saw the still very alive and very annoyed looking young woman.  He remembered to look back at the hero, fearing that he might have used the distraction to attack, but Captain Hero had leaned back against the wall and apparently pulled a box of popcorn out of nowhere.

Hero chuckled before throwing a kernel in his mouth.  "Stella is my big sister."

[ckm-writes]

Lily: Secret Asian man 🎶

Stacie: Excuse me while I kiss this guy

Amy: Wrapped up like a douche

Jessley: Don’t nobody got no mister roboto

Beca: Sorry I’m late… what is happening here?

Chloe: We’re singing our favorite mondegreens!

Aubrey [rubbing her temples]: I have a mondegraine

[writing-prompt-s]

A child has brought home a “puppy” and is insisting on keeping it. The “puppy” is most certainly NOT a puppy, but seems pretty content with the situation anyway.

[ckm-writes]

“Mama, puppy!”

“That’s nice dear now let’s…” It would be embarrassing to admit not knowing whether to move closer and protect your child or to run like hell. You can make another kid right? No? Okay. Let’s do this. “Honey, I know we’re not big on labels, but puppies don’t usually have scales, right?”

“You have scales in the winter when you forget to moisturize!”

Loving my child unconditionally. I can do this. Let’s try again. “Baby, puppies don’t usually breathe fire.”

“Daddy said you breathe fire”

Daddy said lots of things before he ran off with the nymph from accounting. The memory of which probably doesn’t excuse the volume of the outburst. “It’s not a puppie. It’s a blazing dragon, now put it back where you found it!”

Little lips quiver as eyes begin to tear. “But it’s just a little one”

This is going to be a huge headache, but who’s ever denied that pout. “Fine! But you’re taking care of it”

(The child did not, in fact, take care of the dragon)

[ckm-writes]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

The Rave’N episode

[ckm-writes]

Beca: 🎶 You don’t have to be rich to be my bitch, you don’t have to be cool to be my fool

Cynthia-Rose: Naw. That still ain’t it

Aubrey: What are y’all doing?

Beca: I was just trying to gender neutralize the lyrics before remixing this as a bisexual ballad.

Chloe: [fist pumps]: So you’re finally ready to…

Emily: Hi, Beca did you figure out my arrangement yet?

[ckm-writes]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

It’s short, but at least I’m writing