1.) What’s the best advice you’ve ever been given?
-If someone offers their opinion and they are not feeding you, financing you, or regularly fucking you, their opinion is meaningless unless YOU give it worth.
2.) What is your preferred method of non-physical self-destruction?
-Going on TikTok and browsing the #hotalphabetmafia, #singletok, and #lestok vids. It reminds me that I’m not smart, useful, or pretty enough for the utterly bitchy attitude I have.
3.) What is your favorite way to self-care?
-Curling up with a good book (fanfiction is also accepted self-care currency), some soft music, and a mug of tea/cocoa so I can read until I pass out.
4.) Tell me about your most vivid memory, good or bad.
-The first time I tried to commit suicide. The vivid pain in my chest from realizing that I was so sad, so lonely, so worthless and stupid, so desperate to feel ANYTHING besides that flattening pain that the knife sliding into my skin was almost pleasure and release from the pressure...
5.) If anything, what would you change about your childhood?
-Everything began spiraling out of control when my father died, so I would change that. And give him the strength to leave my mother.
6.) What is something that you’ve always wanted to do but have never been able to do?
-I want to feel beautiful and capture that moment in a photograph so I can always treasure the memory.
7.) What is your fatal flaw?
-Honestly, I think I have too many to list.
8.) What is something that gets to you that you wish wouldn’t?
-The voices in my head that scream that I'm not (insert whatever) enough.
9.) Do you cry? Why or why not?
-If I'm crying, start looking for bodies to drop. I was taught that tears are a weakness, so if I'm crying, I'm completely out of fucks to give.
10.) Tell me about an insecurity you overcame.
-None of them. I just fake it until it's believable.
11.) Tell me about your last failed friendship.
-
12.) Who do you wish you could connect with but haven’t been able to connect with?
-My mother's family. I've tried, but... There's too much ideological difference, too many political differences, and honestly just too many feelings of abandonment and not being good (specifically, pretty) enough for them- because they chose to save my younger sister over me.
13.) What can make you excessively angry?
14.) Do you enjoy being lightheartedly teased? Why or why not?
-I like lighthearted teasing. It's funny (most of the time) and it can be comforting. Of course, I have a tendency to take it to NSFW because that can be funny too.
15.) Do you prefer to be numb or overly emotional? Why?
-I think I prefer numb? I'm accustomed to numb.
16.) What is a skill or talent you’ve completely lost or overlooked? Why did that happen?
-I used to be able to write. I lost that talent during an abusive marriage where he would tell me that if I couldn't publish it and make money from it, it was a waste of time and money.
17.) What was your favorite color as a child and what is your favorite color now?
-I don't remember, but I love purples, greens, reds, and black.
18.) What is something you can’t bring yourself to get rid of?
-My rage. Ooooh, I should let that shit go, but I can't.
19.) Tell me something you don’t like telling the people you are close to.
-Things that will hurt them. I know that the truth is valuable, but I never want to hurt the few people I have as friends.
20.) Tell me what you think others think about you.
