Yes we do
dirt enthusiast

Discoholic 🪩

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

ellievsbear
Sweet Seals For You, Always
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

Kaledo Art
RMH

Product Placement
will byers stan first human second
i don't do bad sauce passes
wallacepolsom
Today's Document
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Andulka
Cosimo Galluzzi
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
occasionally subtle
KIROKAZE
Not today Justin
seen from United States
seen from Brazil
seen from United States

seen from Ireland
seen from Italy

seen from Malaysia
seen from Israel

seen from Poland
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
seen from Belgium

seen from United Arab Emirates

seen from Malaysia
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seen from United States
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seen from United Kingdom

seen from Malaysia

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seen from United Kingdom
@claireezs
Yes we do
❤︎ ˖໒꒱ gaming with boyfriend!kashimo headcanons!
boyfriend!kashimo who pretends he’s indifferent when you ask him to play “minecraft” with you, like it’s just another one of your requests… but he agrees a little too quickly for him to be casual about it.
boyfriend!kashimo who doesn’t understand devices or digital games at first, who stares at the screen like it’s some unfamiliar battlefield, but still tries anyway because you asked him to play. and if he’s going to do something, (especially if you're watching,) he’s going to do it properly.
boyfriend!kashimo who gets weirdly quiet and intense when you die in-game, then makes it his purpose to keep it from happening again.
"i should have prevented that," he says flatly.
"shimo, baby, it's just a game."
he shakes his head. "it doesn't matter."
then he'll spend the next five minutes making sure you have a full suit of armor even if he hardly knows how to craft it.
boyfriend!kashimo who refuses to be “bad” at the game. not in an ego way, more like it bothers him that he can’t immediately master something you enjoy. so he learns fast, stubbornly, quietly improving every minute just to keep up with you.
boyfriend!kashimo who hears you mention, almost in passing, “oh i need ___ for this” or “we should get ___,” and before you even finish what you’re doing, he’s already gone. no announcement, no hesitation. just missing from your screen.
boyfriend!kashimo who comes back like it was nothing, dropping exactly what you needed in front of you like it was always going to be there.
boyfriend!kashimo who acts like this is normal. like of course he’d handle it. like of course he’d make sure you don’t have to wait. and if you tease him for it, he just glances at you and says, “you needed it.” like that explains everything.
boyfriend!kashimo who lets you take over building the house without a single complaint, even when you turn it into something completely unrecognizable. he just pauses, looks at it for a second, and decides it’s correct because you made it. just stands there watching you build like it’s the most natural thing in the world for him to follow you around and hand you materials.
boyfriend!kashimo who acts like he’s mildly inconvenienced when you start bringing animals home. cats. wolves. random bunnies you “rescued.” a horse you absolutely did not need. he’ll say things like, “this is unnecessary,” while building the fence you asked for to house them all.
boyfriend!kashimo who pretends he’s unimpressed when you thank him, like it’s nothing, like it cost him no effort at all… but he still keeps doing it every time you ask.
boyfriend!kashimo who doesn’t always understand the point of what you’re building or doing, but understands you wanting it, and decides that’s enough reason.
.☘︎ ݁˖FOR GOOD LUCK - HAJIME KASHIMO ݁✦ ݁˖
╰┈➤ new year's eve with a puzzled hajime. ⋆.˚
"i still don't understand the importance of this."
you laugh.
"you've told me that six times."
"that's because you haven't given me a satisfactory answer."
kashimo hajime looks completely out of place among the new year's festival stalls and paper lanterns.
you two are standing under the stars, the people surrounding you anticipating the countdown. you'd practically had to drag him here. everyone else seems excited, but he looks like he's evaluating a battlefield.
"it's new year's eve, silly."
the word earns you a look. not an annoyed one- just a look. you've noticed he never complains when you call him things like that.
silly. dramatic. stupid, even. human words, the kind nobody else uses for him. the ones that make him feel less sorcerer and more person.
"that's not an explanation."
"it is," you insist.
"it isn't."
you grin in response, but he just stares down at you, unimpressed. the crowd shuffles around you.
"okay, then. it's important because it's the last day of the year."
"and?"
"and tomorrow marks the new year."
he stares, and you stare back.
"that's your argument?"
"yes."
"that's stupid."
you gasp.
"you're stupid!"
he snorts- actually snorts. the sound surprises both of you. for a moment, neither of you says anything. people laugh, music drifts through the chilly hair, a child runs past holding a sparkler.
hajime watches them disappear into the crowd.
"i don't get it," he says eventually.
his voice is quieter this time. you tilt your head.
"what part?"
he thinks about it.
"being excited because time passed."
you hum.
"i guess that's not really what people celebrate."
"then what do they celebrate?"
the question is genuine- it always is with him. you've learned that over the past year. hajime doesn't ask questions unless he wants the answer.
"getting through."
his gaze shifts toward you in question.
"making it past another year. things change."
you pause.
"and then one day you wake up and realize an entire year went by, and we made it."
for some reason, that makes him quiet for a moment. the lantern light reflects faintly in his eyes.
"we made it," he finally repeats. like he's testing the words.
you smile.
"yeah. guess we did."
the crowd grows louder as the night wears on. at some point, people start checking the time.
"ten minutes," someone nearby says.
"until what?" hajime asks you.
you stare at him blankly.
"you're kidding."
"until what?" he asks again, persistent.
"midnight."
he waits. "and?"
you laugh. "and then it's the new year!"
"that's it?"
you nudge his shoulder.
"well, there's a countdown."
"how exciting." he rolls his eyes sarcastically.
"and sometimes people kiss."
that finally gets his attention.
"kiss?"
"well, yeah."
"why?"
"mmm, i don't know." you grin. "for good luck, maybe."
he looks unconvinced. "that doesn't make sense."
"not everything does."
you both fall silent, and the countdown begins a few minutes later. the crowd joins in immediately, voices overlapping, laughter carrying through the cold air.
hajime stands beside you, his hands shoved into his pockets. still looking vaguely confused.
"ten."
"nine."
"eight."
you glance at him. lantern light catches against his vivid hair. against sharp features that you're paying more attention to than a friend would.
against eyes that aren't watching the countdown at all.
they're watching you.
"five."
"four."
"three."
suddenly you forget how to breathe. hajime tilts his head like he's come to a conclusion.
like he's finally figured something out.
"two."
"one."
"happy new year!"
cheers erupt around you. fireworks burst overhead. the sky explodes with color.
and hajime kisses you- brief and careful.
like he's never done this before. like even a warrior can be gentle.
like he's afraid you'll disappear if he moves too fast.
when he pulls away, the crowd is still shouting. fireworks still crackle overhead. the new year has barely begun.
"for good luck," hajime says quietly.
you blink, then your mouth curves upward.
"yeah. good luck," you repeat.
he looks up at the exploding sky, then back at you. understanding settles across his face. slow and certain.
"i get it now."
when he said that, you never thought much of it.
you just kept walking. kept talking. kept dragging him from stall to stall while he complained the entire night.
but hajime followed.
he always follows.
because somewhere between missions and injuries and long nights and near misses, he'd stopped seeing you as just a friend. not just another person fighting for the same thing.
and tonight, surrounded by strangers celebrating another year, he thinks that maybe he finally understands.
what doesn’t kill me leaves a pit in my stomach that never goes away
.☘︎ ݁˖FOR GOOD LUCK - HAJIME KASHIMO ݁✦ ݁˖
╰┈➤ new year's eve with a puzzled hajime. ⋆.˚
"i still don't understand the importance of this."
you laugh.
"you've told me that six times."
"that's because you haven't given me a satisfactory answer."
kashimo hajime looks completely out of place among the new year's festival stalls and paper lanterns.
you two are standing under the stars, the people surrounding you anticipating the countdown. you'd practically had to drag him here. everyone else seems excited, but he looks like he's evaluating a battlefield.
"it's new year's eve, silly."
the word earns you a look. not an annoyed one- just a look. you've noticed he never complains when you call him things like that.
silly. dramatic. stupid, even. human words, the kind nobody else uses for him. the ones that make him feel less sorcerer and more person.
"that's not an explanation."
"it is," you insist.
"it isn't."
you grin in response, but he just stares down at you, unimpressed. the crowd shuffles around you.
"okay, then. it's important because it's the last day of the year."
"and?"
"and tomorrow marks the new year."
he stares, and you stare back.
"that's your argument?"
"yes."
"that's stupid."
you gasp.
"you're stupid!"
he snorts- actually snorts. the sound surprises both of you. for a moment, neither of you says anything. people laugh, music drifts through the chilly hair, a child runs past holding a sparkler.
hajime watches them disappear into the crowd.
"i don't get it," he says eventually.
his voice is quieter this time. you tilt your head.
"what part?"
he thinks about it.
"being excited because time passed."
you hum.
"i guess that's not really what people celebrate."
"then what do they celebrate?"
the question is genuine- it always is with him. you've learned that over the past year. hajime doesn't ask questions unless he wants the answer.
"getting through."
his gaze shifts toward you in question.
"making it past another year. things change."
you pause.
"and then one day you wake up and realize an entire year went by, and we made it."
for some reason, that makes him quiet for a moment. the lantern light reflects faintly in his eyes.
"we made it," he finally repeats. like he's testing the words.
you smile.
"yeah. guess we did."
the crowd grows louder as the night wears on. at some point, people start checking the time.
"ten minutes," someone nearby says.
"until what?" hajime asks you.
you stare at him blankly.
"you're kidding."
"until what?" he asks again, persistent.
"midnight."
he waits. "and?"
you laugh. "and then it's the new year!"
"that's it?"
you nudge his shoulder.
"well, there's a countdown."
"how exciting." he rolls his eyes sarcastically.
"and sometimes people kiss."
that finally gets his attention.
"kiss?"
"well, yeah."
"why?"
"mmm, i don't know." you grin. "for good luck, maybe."
he looks unconvinced. "that doesn't make sense."
"not everything does."
you both fall silent, and the countdown begins a few minutes later. the crowd joins in immediately, voices overlapping, laughter carrying through the cold air.
hajime stands beside you, his hands shoved into his pockets. still looking vaguely confused.
"ten."
"nine."
"eight."
you glance at him. lantern light catches against his vivid hair. against sharp features that you're paying more attention to than a friend would.
against eyes that aren't watching the countdown at all.
they're watching you.
"five."
"four."
"three."
suddenly you forget how to breathe. hajime tilts his head like he's come to a conclusion.
like he's finally figured something out.
"two."
"one."
"happy new year!"
cheers erupt around you. fireworks burst overhead. the sky explodes with color.
and hajime kisses you- brief and careful.
like he's never done this before. like even a warrior can be gentle.
like he's afraid you'll disappear if he moves too fast.
when he pulls away, the crowd is still shouting. fireworks still crackle overhead. the new year has barely begun.
"for good luck," hajime says quietly.
you blink, then your mouth curves upward.
"yeah. good luck," you repeat.
he looks up at the exploding sky, then back at you. understanding settles across his face. slow and certain.
"i get it now."
when he said that, you never thought much of it.
you just kept walking. kept talking. kept dragging him from stall to stall while he complained the entire night.
but hajime followed.
he always follows.
because somewhere between missions and injuries and long nights and near misses, he'd stopped seeing you as just a friend. not just another person fighting for the same thing.
and tonight, surrounded by strangers celebrating another year, he thinks that maybe he finally understands.
UGHHH
hi my loves terrible news. In order to write the amazing fanfic ideas you actually have to write that fanfic. sighhhhh
Yes we do
꩜ – SATORU GOJO really likes the way reader says his name .ᐟ
(18+) :: content – gojo x fem!reader, smut, fingering, cunnilingus, voice kink
satoru really likes the way you say his name.
other people never get it right, in his opinion. there’s always a vowel that’s too drawn out, or a consonant that’s pronounced too sharply. he only ever smiles and nods when people say his name like that — it’s fine, sure. but it’s not right.
it’s become something very particular for him.
it’s not sah-toe-roo.
he’s also heard sahh-to-roo.
and some people will extend those vowels past their welcome.
but you? it glides off your tongue like honey.
sa-to-ru.
he likes the way it gets all sharp on your lips when you’re mad at him. satoru would never admit it to you, but sometimes he’ll piss you off on purpose whenever he’s in the mood to hear how you sharpen the consonants like knives when you're telling him off.
“what?” the sorcerer sits back in your office chair, the faintest traces of a completely intentional grin on his face.
he’d come in early for once in his life for this exact purpose; satoru knew you always came in devastatingly punctual, so he’d make sure to greet you the best way he knew how to make your morning: by sitting in your office and kicking his feet up on your paperwork.
you loved things clean. it’s cute. he wants you fucking messy, though!
and you’re seething so adorably, with your face all scrunched up and your shiny eyes narrowed. “does this look like your office, gojo?”
nope. not what he wants to hear.
satoru sits up abruptly, making a show out of glancing around the room, before letting out an exhale of a laugh. “you know, all the offices look suspiciously similar. might wanna bring it up with the higher-ups.”
“get out.”
“did you get enough sleep last night?” he tilts his head, feigning concern. “you’re being awfully rude about this.”
the way you narrow your eyes makes satoru wish he could see them glitter with crystallized tears, with his weight on top of you as he slides his tongue between your thighs—
you suck in a breath past pretty lips. “i’m not in the mood. yaga has me on the clock. please just give me this, gojo.”
please, you say, and it makes him smile smugly. satoru loves hearing it (although he’d love hearing it beneath the dark of a particularly low-lit bedroom), but he needs more. needs your voice to wrap around his name like you own it.
“plead nicer. unfortunately for you, i’m in the mood.”
“fuck, no.”
he leans further back into your chair. “didn’t hear you. sorry?”
“satoru.”
there it is. sa-to-ru; just the way he likes.
on other days, even when you’re rendered all sheepish and embarrassed at one of his jokes, satoru just can’t get enough of the way you say his name.
this time, your tone dulls around the edges, always muttered under your breath in front of important people when he’s threatened to embarrass you with something he’s said — it’s soft and small and stern all at the same time, dancing through the air like warm fucking breeze in the winter. he just wishes you wouldn’t be so quiet about it; if the sorcerer had a choice, he’d have your voice on repeat.
he already does, in a way.
it’s why satoru’s taken to teasing you specifically whenever you have faculty meetings in front of the higher-ups, or whenever you’re particularly engrossed in a lesson with your students, just to see you when you’re caught off your game and a tiny bit upset.
satoru loves you when you’re pouting, loves when your lips press flat into a thin line or when the inside of your cheek catches between your teeth, like you’ve got a retort on the tip of your sweet tongue but won’t let it slip for your own sake. so fucking considerate all the time.
you’re unbelievably gorgeous when you’re so composed.
and you let that sweet little breath of his name slip from your mouth when he’d push you a little too far during your class with your first years on reverse cursed technique. your eyes fixate on the ground, lips downturned, as satoru’d just gotten all of your students to laugh at a little jab towards your explaining methods.
“satoru.” you chastised in a small mumble, “let’s talk after my class, please.”
sa-to-ru.
god, that little whisper will be in his dreams tonight.
he’ll hear it over and over again and wish you’d mumbled it right against his earlobe, because no one else ever deserved to hear your voice like that.
“that’s awfully secretive, sensei. what’s so important that our beloved students can’t listen in on it, hm?” he knows what you’re getting at, of course.
but truthfully, he just wants to see your face contort with that fiery little expression, the same one he wanted to mouth at every inch of until nothing was left but pure bliss.
and satoru’s not shy about the way his heartbeat picks up when you nudge yourself a tiny bit closer, just to make sure he’s the only one who can hear what you say next. just so that your voice is only for him.
as it fucking should be.
the sorcerer’s hand just about brushes your hip, and save him if it isn’t taking everything in him to make sure he doesn’t grab you and pull you into his side like he has the right to do so.
“i don’t want my beloved students to hear me threaten to kill their sensei right here,” oh. satoru’s mind goes deliciously numb.
he grins, the edge of his mouth upturning slowly. “i’d love to see you try.”
you frown a tiny bit more.
“what exactly do you get out of pissing me off all the time?”
well.
⭑.ᐟ
satoru knows well enough that he adores your voice when it’s wrapped around his name.
but he’s decided that he loves it best when it’s completely breaking, paired with the gorgeously suffocating feeling of the skin of your thighs pressed into his fingertips and wrapped around his lips.
he loves when his name is exhaled, high-pitched and whiny like sugar, while his tongue paints a stripe across the wetness coating your lips, swirling circles around your pretty clit.
maybe he liked it the most because it’s how he’s always wanted to hear you say his name — it’s just that you’d always been too fucking stubborn, so insistent on hating him that you’d never stop to think how good you’d taste coating his mouth with your slick.
“sa-ah-toru,” you keen as satoru’s tongue dips past the edge of your soaked hole, curling inwards deliciously, moving slow like he’s savoring every fucking drop.
god, he’s hungry — but he’ll die if he goes too quick and can’t taste you ever again.
and if he grips the back of your thighs just a little bit harder when you sing his name like that? he simply can’t help it. he waited too long for this.
sa-to-ru.
you taste just as sweet as you sound.
you’d burst into his office this morning, bemoaning the fact that satoru hadn’t showed up to the previous briefing with principal yaga, of which ended with yaga blaming it on you. you’re bursting with rage, all up in his face, and it’s all a blur from there until your panties are hooked over your ankle, he’s getting on his knees in front of your office chair, wrapping your thighs over his shoulders, and lapping at your pretty cunt.
he hasn't gasped for air; he’s been too enveloped in your scent to care about breathing. he’ll devour you until no one else can. until all that pretty voice of yours knows how to sound out is sa-to-ru.
satoru narrows his tongue, bullying the muscle deep and slow, down to where you couldn’t have thought possible to reach. his eyes are hazy, half-lidded as you tug at his winter locks, shoving him further into your weeping pussy.
“mmph— fuck,” you pant out, eyes screwed shut as he thrusts his tongue in and out of you at a torturous pace. “fuck— gojo, ‘re going too slow—”
“hmm?” he hums into your clit, sending shockwaves straight up from your core. the sorcerer’s gaze meets yours from under the glimpse of your tits beneath your unbuttoned polo.
he loves you composed, he really does — but you look perfect when you’re all messy, just for him.
his lips glisten with your wetness as he grins. “i'll go faster if you say my name properly, beautiful.”
“h—huh?” your words trail off into a candied whine as he pads his finger just against your entrance, smearing the wetness that covers your folds and popping it into his mouth.
you’re so sweet. fuck, why are you so sweet?
“say my name.” he repeats, his voice cheerful yet rough, the tiniest bit of grit around the edge. “remind me how much you love me, gorgeous.”
your eyes still manage to narrow, even as they glitter with needy frustration. “fuck you— mmh!”
satoru simply frowns against the inside of your thigh as he abruptly bullies the first inch of his finger past your entrance, hissing at how tightly your walls were clamping down on him. his mind goes blurry, swirling with thoughts of how delectable you’d look with your thighs around his hips, bullied open and clamping like a vice down on his cock—
he pulls his finger out with a shudder, cooing at the little pout that forms on your lips. “poor baby. if you can’t handle it, you know, we can stop here. if you want.”
“w— what?” you breathe out, eyes wide and glossy like the thought was insulting. “no, please — please, need you, satoru…”
sa-to-ru.
and you’ve drawn out that last syllable like you want him dead.
“again, sorry?”
“satoru!” you squeal impatiently, and he obliged, simply because he’d never say no to you when you sound like that.
the white-haired man groans, biting down on the inside of your thigh and relishing in the way it makes you whine, all high-pitched and finally sweet on him.
his fingers thrust roughly into your aching pussy, stretching you out and moulding you to shape around his skin. you’re dripping down his palm, and satoru’s mesmerized by the sheen of slick that coats his hand as he pounds his fingers in and out of you steadily.
“shit— so pretty here for me, huh?” satoru whispers reverently, as if speaking directly to your pussy and not to you. “just as sweet as that mouth of yours. just as tight too.”
your hands are making a home for themselves in his hair, hips chasing his thick fingers, grinding yourself further into them like he wasn’t deep enough already. your perfect fucking voice isn’t helping the sorcerer’s case either — he swears he loses every semblance of control he has, bit by bit, at each breath of his name leaving your lips, garbled and slurred and destroyed.
“s’toru, satoru,” your mouth drops open, eyes screwing shut as he curls his fingers right into that spongy spot, office chair creaking as your body slumps back into it. “it’s so— fuck, ‘ts so—”
he laughs breathlessly. “yes, gorgeous?”
“it’s so— oh!”
satoru cherishes everything you have to say, he swears he does.
but he also cherishes the way your lips look, all glossed with drool pooling at the corners, when he leans forward and circles his tongue over your clit in mean little motions, lapping at the sensitive skin in tandem with the rhythm of his fingers. you’re a whining, squirming mess — struggling to stay upright, thoroughly desecrated on the office chair you’d chewed him out just weeks ago for stealing.
satoru hisses as your fingertips tug at his locks, so fucking drunk on the taste of your soaked cunt amidst the lewd sound of his fingers slapping against your sex.
“listen to that,” he rasps out, pausing to let the squelch of your pussy speak for itself before laughing dazedly against your clit. “she’s screaming my name too, isn’t she? so fuckin’ good for me, aren’t you?”
your bleary gaze peeks down at him, eyes questioning amidst the pleasure. “s—satoru, you asshole, stop talking to my— mmh!”
before you can protest, his mouth is diving back in. soft lips latch around your clit, and satoru’s painfully hard at the sound of your voice cracking around the syllables of his name, your throat thick with pleasure at the overstimulation. he doesn’t let up; the white-haired man sucks harder at the sensitive bud, all while scissoring his fingers deep inside of you as if mapping you out.
for when his dick goes inside you, of course.
“it’s t—too much,” you complain in a mewl, eyes blurry with forming tears, “satoru, please, please, ‘m so—”
“fuck, take it, gorgeous,” satoru gasps out against your pussy, lips drenched in your taste. “keep talking to me — shit, you’re tight — let it all out for me, okay?”
satoru’s mind had blanked out a long time ago. between the way your lips form his name in one strung out moan, and the way you taste sweeter than any candy he could’ve ever asked for, he’s starting to wonder if he’d died and gone to heaven.
your voice tangles with the filthy squelches that resound through the cramped space of your office, and he swears nothing could ever be better than this.
except for the way you sound saying his name while you cum.
“i’m— i’m—” you gasp, and satoru takes that as a sign to clamp his lips around your clit and suck, curling his fingers up against your g-spot until — “satoru!”
he’s never heard anything so perfect before. his gaze flicks upwards as you orgasm, watching the way your face scrunches up as your cunt tightens unbearably around every inch of his fingers. satoru’s transfixed by your stupid voice, something out of a porno curated by an angel, and if he’s hoping he’s ruined you with his fingers alone, you’ve ruined him with just the sound of your voice breaking.
your breaths are heavy as you come down from the high; soft and warm, sound waves radiating off of you like sunlight. satoru presses a soft kiss to your inner thigh, and you finally peer down at him.
“still mad at me?” the sorcerer grins.
your eyes narrow as soon as you’re back to life. “yes. yaga chewed me out for something that wasn’t even my fault, satoru.”
sa-to-ru. the white-haired man pauses against your inner thigh, raising an eyebrow up at you with something hungry in his eyes. because as soon as you say his name, he decides he’s not fucking done with you yet.
“i’m sorry, gorgeous,” satoru mumbles, giving you a faux-apologetic glance before mischievously pressing a kiss to your clit, watching how your eyes widen. “i guess I’ll just keep going until you forgive me.”
“w—wait!”
satoru gojo really likes the way you say his name.
and he’ll keep making you say it until you know it too.
@ ttakdoll, 2026
first time finishing smut pls be kind to me :(
imagine hating me and im just in my room straight up sobbing
What it’s like being his pregnant partner JJK SMAU
Pt 2 feat Yuuta, Sukuna, & Suguru
Somehow Sugu is the only one that’s normal 🥹
The coolest people alive aka my taglist: @lover4art @chewiebee @loverboulder @tori8760 @nina-from-317 @gojoleclerc @samishiperfixatedagain @lily-42
lucky boy ᯓ★
nfl!yuta okkotsu x photographer f!reader
yuta okkotsu has loved and adored you ever since he met you, absolutely infatuated with your skill in photography for his team and how you carried yourself with others— self-assured, never once letting anyone talk to you a certain way, and the sweetest thing ever to him, giving him the time of day when he feels like a loser moron that certainly doesn't deserve it. one problem though? you have a piece of shit asshole of a boyfriend who somehow became the exception to treating you badly. and yuta can't take it anymore, his year long pent up yearning and frustration for you piling to the brim before either of you realize it... until it bursts.
warnings: MDNI. afab!reader, cursing, FLUFFFF, yearning, pining, SMUT, mentions of a toxic relationship beware, yuta is IN LOVE with you omg, ANGST AFFF, reader is the photographer for yuta's team, sexual themes, filthy dirty talk, fingering, pet names, readers bf is a dickhead, best friends to lovers, mentions of reader having ‘pink cheeks’ is only to amplify and over-exaggerate feelings of embarrassment, shyness, and everything in between, and not to be taken literally! this is a work of fiction, and you can imagine many things for yourself :)
word count: 20.4k
authors note: i LIVE and BREATHE and NEEEDDDD NFL!YUTA WITH ME IN MAH BED DEAR GOD HE IS A SWEEETTIIEEEE IN THIS ONEEE!!! :,)))) I HOPE YOU GUYS LOVE ITTTT AAAGHHHHH I LOVE YALL SO EFFING MUCH !!! <3333 amazing strawberry patch divider by @/saradika-graphics !!
PART TWO of this fic is available here!
for being in the national football league, yuta okkotsu was the worst player on his team.
he didn’t even know how he ended up playing football growing up in the first place, because yuta had a cursed tendency to go into things due to whatever reason and not know how to get himself out.
was it a dare? had someone pressured him? was it a favor?
he couldn’t remember anymore, though it didn’t really matter much to him seeing as he loved football— something that once confused him and made him trip over his own cleats when he first started, to actually growing to really enjoy it instead of loathing it like it would for most.
the sport pushed him to the absolute limits in his scatterbrained skittery abilities to try and make something of himself other than a sleep deprived idiot, which he figured was probably the reason why he continued to stumble his way through his youth football team, his high school football team, his college football team...
and now the national football league, the road which he traveled always jaggedly difficult and barely grazing the surface of what it was to qualify for these types of organizations.
he just didn't know how he kept getting fucking lucky— just enough to make it through the surface and make a living for himself even if everyone got mad at him all of the time for it.
because he sucked. he knew that he did. and no matter how many times he met with his management to try and figure out what the hell to do to improve, or tried to better his play on his own with extra hours of training that damn near broke his joints on multiple occasions from overexertion, it was like yuta repelled at being someone that was just— good at something.
it wasn’t the greatest feeling loving a sport that seemed like it didn’t exactly want him in return... but he enjoyed it anyways, opting to make the best of it until he ultimately officially got canned.
and he especially grew to enjoy it when he met you.
the photographer for his team.
“maybe tuck the ball under your arm for me? instead of—yeah! yeah like that!—”
yuta’s trembling hands, buzzing pink cheeks and sweating everything was doing nothing for him in this moment as you stood in front of him, wildly pretty and so sure of yourself as you took pictures of him for the monthly newsletter, camera in hand as you clicked way and angled your body here and there to get the shot you wanted.
he gulped.
“i feel like your bicep looks even bigger that way.” you smiled cheekily, setting your camera down as it hung around your neck with a strap.
e— even big—
“it’ll make the girlies excited for sure!”
he blushed furiously at you noting something like that, letting out a nervous squeaky laugh as he dropped his gaze to the way he was holding the ball now, fitted in his freshly cleaned football gear out in the middle of the field, just the two of you.
“does it— does it really..?” his wobbly smile tugged at your heart strings, a reassuring one of your own smoothing over your face in response. “i feel like they're usually yelling at me from the stands heh...”
you amusedly rolled your eyes with a shake of the head, picking up your camera again to capture a few more shots. “everyone yells all kinds of things from the stands yu.”
“they usually say i need to be benched or traded...” he spoke quietly, comically unfocused traumatized eyes staring off ahead as you gently fixed the positioning of his other arm.
you snorted and stepped back.
“yeah well you’re the one in the nfl and they’re the ones spending money to come see you anyway so they can rot in hell for all i care—”
he giggled then, wholeheartedly as he diverted his gaze, feeling amused yet incredibly ashamed at your statement all at the same time.
the title didn't feel rightfully earned to him... he didn’t deserve it for his atrocious play on the field.
“what?” you asked softly, popping your head up from the brink of taking another picture. “did i say something wrong? i'm sorry yuta i— that probably wasn’t appropriate—”
yuta frantically shook his head, big eyes locked on you as he flailed his unoccupied hand out in emphasis.
“no! no absolutely not you’re— you’re okay y/n...”
your shoulders gradually dropped in relief, thankful that yuta was one little gem that didn’t seem to mind anything that flowed off your tongue that was technically considered extremely unprofessional, more so if it was anyone else.
you were thankful he was a friend.
“i was just thinking a little.” he sent you a small timid curve of the lips, going back to the pose you’d instructed for him previously.
you hummed, shutting one eye to continue taking photographs, the camera shuddering and clicking away as you spoke.
“thinking? about what?”
yuta had known you ever since he made the national league team, and he’d loved you for just as long, deeming you one of his closest friends besides his other senior teammate— the singular person who tolerated him and didn’t scold him for accidentally dropping passes, and a cheerleader he’d come to meet nearly two months ago that danced for his team, her being the one he babbled and poured his heart out on a silver platter for about you and everything that you did.
and he felt so bad each time that he did... accidentally tasking her with listening to him hopelessly rant and rant even through her soft-hearted reassurances that it was okay...
he just didn’t think he could ever forget the way he felt when you first spoke to him, pathetically enough.
but he couldn’t think of you that way.
“about how badly i might botch our homecoming game.” a sad half smile grew. “i might get booted this time if i'm lucky.”
you gawked, jaw hung to the ground.
“yuta why would you say something like thaaatt!” you whined, beginning to flick through the photos on your camera to give them a check over. “don’t do that please... it’s not fair to write yourself off already for something that hasn’t happened. for something that won’t happen.”
he gnawed at the inside of his cheek, desperately wanting to believe you... but his bumpy track record was weighing heavy on his shoulders to remind him that he simply couldn't.
“you’re right i'm sorry.” he spoke softly, and you eased a little by his tone, putting your camera down and walking over to gently take the football from underneath his arm, his ears going pinker the closer you got to him.
you were aware of yuta’s unfortunate reputation, and you were even more aware of how he was treated by everyone else because of it.
“you’re alright yu don’t apologize.” you smiled warmly, your gaze swimming in sympathy and worry as you looked at him. “i just don’t like it when you’re mean to yourself about it... everyone has different strengths that come across in different ways. you have strengths that come across in different ways.”
“i don’t think people will ever see it that way though.” he lightly laughed, and you moved your head to catch his line of sight directly, expression serious.
“i see it that way.” you pushed softly. “hold onto that for a little until the rest of them do.”
yuta's heart felt like it was about to burst.
out of all his miserable years of dealing with people telling him he wasn’t doing this right, or fumbling that or—or jeopardizing whatever—
you were the first to ever show him genuine sugary kindness in the otherwise unforgiving industry he was involved in, and some he desperately needed and clung onto the minute you flashed him your gorgeous grin and encouraged him on his very first day, despite feeling like he truly reached the finish line for his career and was done for.
but it was wrong to think of you that way.
because the sole reason as to why yuta spent his days moping around gloomy and miserable and frustrated other than not being able to talk to you without stammering over his own words and looking fucking stupid...
was because you had a boyfriend.
and he hated himself for still loving you in the way that he did when he respected you so unbelievably much... but he just couldn’t help it no matter how hard he tried to get you out of his head, or begged his heart and head to calm the hell down any time he heard your pretty distant voice somewhere in the locker rooms or out on the field— spending a solid year trying and all it got him was freaking nowhere besides being pitifully still wrapped around your little finger and trailing after you like a lost puppy.
especially on days like this when you were so nice to him, having the upmost faith in what he could do when no one else did.
“th— thank you.” he shakily grinned, yet sweet as you nodded and patted his bicep.
“of course!”
you picked your camera back up again and quickly made a final run through over the photos you took, satisfaction swelling in your chest as you spotted several that were up to your standards and perfect for the newsletter.
you always enjoyed photographing yuta in particular, because despite the fact he was often bashful and a little unsure of himself, you actually preferred that, most if not all football players you’ve gotten to work with utterly and agonizingly arrogant, often choosing not to listen to any directions or pointers you gave them in terms of posing, talking your ear off about how it didn’t match what they wanted, or because it didn’t line up with the image they wanted to perceive themselves as to the public, or because they just flat out didn’t want to and ‘felt weird.’
whatever the fuck that meant.
so yuta always being the sweetest boy you’d ever met, listening to you and frequently asking you if how he was posing was okay, or what you suggested he do so he could look or work better, made your job so much easier and that much more pleasant.
“you’re all set!” you cutely smiled, yuta’s heart jumping at the sight of that. “thanks so much yu! your pictures look very cute.”
he chuckled, proceeding to strep through the grass and follow you when you signaled him with a nudge of the head to do so.
“are they okay?” he asked, and you quickly nodded, the both of you making your way across the vacant football field to get back to the locker rooms with the rest of the players.
“uh huh! they're lovely yu.” you wrung your hands behind your back and gently bumped your shoulder with his arm, yuta’s eyes trained downward as a teeny smile grew on his face.
“i appreciate you always working with me... i know it can get annoying when i keep pulling you for photos and get in the way of your practice hours... or when i keep fixing your arm twenty billion times heh.”
he snapped his head up and looked at you. “oh no! i don’t mind at all y/n. whatever you have to do to get what you need is never a bother for me, you know that.”
you jutted your bottom lip at his sweetness, his humility a charming yet burdening trait of his.
you always wished that yuta could receive the recognition and support you knew he deeply deserved.
because it was that same humility that allowed every other dickwad in the industry to walk all over him and make him feel awful for nearly fucking everything that he did. he could do no right in their eyes, and watching him ever so slowly lose the tiny glimmer of authentic passion he carried for the sport he played— his enthusiasm washing away bit by bit, the fiery flickering bud diminishing before you could attempt to salvage it, and the bags under his eyes growing darker and darker with every new day you saw him... made you sad.
you didn’t want yuta to lose himself due to the rather harsh expectations of others, when you knew probably more than anyone the exact grit he carried underneath his skin for football, his management refusing to just give him the grace nor chance he needed to let it properly flourish, and for the dumbest reasons you’d ever heard too.
it was the ‘cost of resources’ they had explained to you when you stomped your way through headquarters on a particularly brutal game for yuta, him accidentally butchering a touchdown simply because his teammates had zero faith in him and refused to pass him the ball, their hesitancy being the actual cause of his team losing rather than yuta.
though they blamed him anyway that night.
as the team's photographer there really wasn’t much you could do... but you felt it was worse to stay silent rather than weasel in the teensiest of input, one you hoped would one day fall on the right ears of someone willing to actually better the structure of training players, rather than favoritism or spending it on useless renovation plans for the stadium.
because sure, yuta wasn’t the greatest player... but he was far from the worst that they insisted he was.
and you fucking hated it.
“do you have any plans for the weekend?” you chirped as you both walked through the locker room doors, yuta pondering for a moment.
he didn’t ever really have much going on besides wallowing in anxiety and despair over any upcoming games...
“ehh— not really!” he chuckled, you following along as he made his way to his designated cubby, internally happy to see that the locker rooms were vacant so he could have some time with you for a little while.
“i think i might go out and buy rika a new cat tree... she destroyed the one she has now during the last away game we had.”
you giggled, yuta subconsciously smiling a little at the tune as he tugged at the straps of his football gloves off, the velcro ripping as he went.
“that silly kitty...” you tutted, taking a seat by him on the bench, calmly watching him crouch and begin to rummage through his cubby. “she always loves committing crimes when you’re not home.”
“definitely.” yuta huffed out a laugh with a shake of the head, organizing his things in preparation for next weeks practice. “a couple of days ago i came back from the market to see all my dishes shattered in the kitchen..."
“shut the fuck up!” you gasped, hand flying over your mouth as he giggled softly at your reaction, nodding.
“yeah... but it’s okay.” he smiled, standing upright and taking a seat next to you on the bench. “i have a hard time staying mad at her so i gave up on trying to get her to behave.”
you laughed again, and it only made yuta’s heart do a little giddy leap, head hung and eyes trained to the ground below in the hopes of you not seeing how red in the face he stupidly was.
“what— what about you?” he asked, wringing his palms together and settling them between his legs. “do you have any plans?”
you perked up. “i do! my boyfriend and i have plans to see a movie and then maybe get dinner after.”
he swallowed.
“that sounds like fun.” he sent you a weak smile. “what um— what movie?”
“i don’t even know.” you snorted. “he picked it! or— said he was gonna pick it... i’m not sure if he’s bought tickets yet actually.”
worry brewed in his chest a bit, ache mixed with frustration as you went on about the rest of your plans that you weren’t even sure were entirely confirmed.
situations like this were almost routine like to hear from you, because your boyfriend also happened to be a fucking asshole.
in the year that he’d known you, yuta lost count of how many times he cancelled on you last minute to do god knows what, or blatantly ditched whatever plans you had made for the two of you in exchange for doing something else that catered to just him, or was just— mean to you all of the time.
that fact bothered yuta the most.
he didn’t like the way he spoke to you at all, and it seemed like you were too used to it to— realize that it was rude, your boyfriend flat out too dismissive and neglectful of you and yuta having no idea how a sweet thoughtful girl like you ended up with someone who treated you like that.
you deserved to be respected and have everything you’ve ever wanted in your life, and whether it was with him or not that wasn’t what was important to him in this situation.
because yes it hurt like fucking hell to hear you talk about him, see you with him whenever he came to football events— your pretty doe eyes sparkling and widening as you stared at him like he was everything and not at all the arrogant fuck he was... but yuta’s feelings for you were to the point where he’d be at bittersweet ease if you were at least with someone who was good for you. treating you kindly.
“you should call him about it... just to be safe.” he spoke quietly, expression unreadable as he stared ahead at his cubby. “please.”
he didn't want you to be disappointed again.
“oh i will!” you kindly smiled, standing and slowly stretching your arms out over your head, slightly twisting your body left and right to soften out your limbs with yuta keeping his gaze straight ahead to avoid getting a peek at your soft tummy.
“i’m sure he booked it i just haven’t asked him about it.” you let your arms fall back to your sides before sending him a gentle smile, placing a palm on his head to give it a little pat. “i’ll be okay yu don't worry.”
his cheeks bubbled pink then, shy eyes briefly flickering up to yours with a teeny grin, dropping just as quick as they came with a nod.
“n— no yeah! of course.”
your fingers slipped from his raven strands and you took a step out.
“i’ll edit your photos and send them early so you can approve before i submit for the newsletter.” you informed him, yuta following suit and standing from the bench. “just to make sure you like them.”
“sure! thank you y/n.” he breathed out, the heavy exhaustion from today’s practice suddenly catching up to him. “is that how it normally is when you take the other guys’ photos?”
“nope!” you snickered, picking up your camera and holding it up to your face, squinting an eye. “special perks just for you sir. ‘cause you’re not a dick to me.”
he laughed, a pearly smile stretching across his face as he watched you snap another singular photo, the bright white flash blocking his line of sight for a swift moment until it dissipated.
“do the others still give you a hard time?” he curiously asked you, grabbing the collar of his jersey and bending over a bit to give it a quick tug off, his shoulder pads and protective plates sliding through his arms before his head popped up from underneath.
“no not as bad as when i first started.” you reached over and helped him slip the rest of his uniform off his arms, him sending you a grateful closed-lipped smile in response as you readjusted his white undershirt by the hem, the same hand then moving up to fix over his slightly disheveled hair.
you were so sweet he could die.
“they just get sassy when they don’t like the poses i tell them to do.” you sighed as you drew your arm back, and yuta quirked a brow, proceeding to separate the fabric of his jersey from the preventative padding.
“still?” he shook his head, setting down his equipment in his cubby. “i’m sorry y/n... they’re just pictures i never understand why—”
“just pictures..?” you pouted, and yuta immediately snapped his head up from the sound of your tone to look at you, blown out horrified eyes scouring over your sulky little face in a panic.
oh god—
“n— no! that's not what i meant! i— they're not just pictures i love your pictures so much i just meant—”
you giggled hard then, hand hovering over your mouth as yuta’s cheeks grew pinker with every cute hiccup and chopped breath he heard slip past your lips.
“i’m kidding!” you quickly set your palms on his broad shoulders and gripped, shaking him a little to ward off his fidgety alarm— fighting through the silliness of it yourself to straighten up for him. “i'm just— heh!— i'm messing with you yuta it’s okay... i know what you meant.”
his shoulders slumped in fucking relief, placing a hand over his pounding heart as he dropped his head back and groaned.
“don’t do that...” he breathed out. “i thought i hurt you.”
you snickered some more and gave his shoulders a squeeze before letting go.
you found it endearing how gullible yuta was sometimes with people, as you took note of how much effort he put in never wanting to commit a sliver of harm to anyone if he could help it, even if they weren’t exactly the same with him.
“absolutely not sir.” you quipped, setting a hand on your hip and drumming your fingers along your camera with the other. “i’d never let you do such a thing to me.”
he giggled squeakily and nodded, briefly tossing his folded up jersey inside his cubby. “good! and don’t let any of my other teammates either.”
“ppffttt!—” you blew out, a silly rise to your brow. “yeah like i'd ever even let them open their mouth to talk to me like that. they fear me yu.”
“do they?” he cheekily grinned, dragging his bulky backpack out and plopping it on the bench beside you both, beginning to pack his things for the night. “who? how so?”
“i photographed itsuki last week for the newsletter and he was throwing a bitch fit.” you explained, watching as he finished up and zipped his bag closed, hoisting it over his shoulders.
yuta looked at you bewildered.
“why?”
you pouted again, and it made his heart squeeze just like before.
“he didn’t like my posing ideas. and then when i told him to suck it up he didn’t like my attitude.”
yuta burst out laughing, the admiration he already had for you increasing tenfold as you explained to him the maddening interaction you had with his teammate, the two of you officially packing up, making your way out of the locker room entirely and through the nearly vacant stadium as you conversed.
nights like these were yuta’s favorite type of nights, where the both of you managed to stay late enough for whatever reasons that you both had going on throughout the day, which in turn granted him the lucky privilege of getting to spend a bit of extra time with just you— not surrounded by the bustling crowds of everyone else that was clocked in, his incredibly loud teammates, or any other commitments that prevented him from straight up catching a fleeting glimpse of you for the day.
it was nights like these were yuta selfishly had pretty you all to himself.
even if it was just for a little while.
“wait what did you end up doing? were you able to take his pictures for the newsletter?”
yuta pushed open an exit door to the stadium and stepped off to the side, allowing you to go through first and out into the icy crisp night air before he followed suit.
“i had to force him yu. the man refused to listen to me and it was fucking exhausting.”
“what the hell is wrong with him.” yuta mumbled, his brainly cogs turning as you walked through the parking lot, the loose pavement gravel crunching beneath your shoes with each step. “he’s always been kind of bratty like that actually... coach has told him to stay in position and not chase after the ball so many times and he just— doesn't listen.”
“because he wants to be the one to make touchdowns that’s why.” you sighed through your nose, eyes scouring the never ending rows of vehicles and trying to remember where you parked yours.
“greedy greedy man...”
yuta smiled at the ground, though a small twitch to the brow gave away his discontent.
“you’re probably right but— i don’t really like that he’s mean to you y/n...” he turned his head to look at you, bashful concern etched on his kind face. “you have nothing to do with whatever’s happening on the field.”
you frantically waved him off, shaking your head and feeling bad that you’d stressed him out for probably the millionth time today.
“no! i promise you i'm alright yu don’t worry.” you brightly grinned, readjusting the strap of your bag. “this isn’t my first rodeo with these kinds of things... i used to babysit before i got into photography heehee! but thank you!”
he giggled boyishly and nodded, thankful that you were quite literally the definition of self-assuredness and confidence, if not way better, you never letting anyone minimize you or— or speak to you a certain way without you biting back, something he profoundly admired about you and could only wish to replicate for himself someday.
so yuta couldn’t understand why you’d made the exception for your boyfriend.
“oh! i see my car! oh thank god i couldn’t remember where the eff i parked—”
you turned to him and smiled once more, a rosy hue to the tip of your nose and precious cheeks from the frosty nipping air, both of your breaths puffing out in misty clouds as you spoke on.
“thank you for walking with me! are you far from here?” you craned your body and looked around the parking lot. “if you are let me drive you to your car so you’re not walking in the cold—”
“oh i'm— i'm okay! thank you!” he breathed out, fiddling with the straps of his backpack. “i’m not too far away i can walk.”
“kay.” you briefly dug through your bag and pulled your keys out. “i’ll see you next week then? monday?”
“uh huh! monday.”
walking to the driver's side of your car, you unlocked it and pulled open the door before tossing your bag in, hoisting a leg up.
“give rika a kiss for me!” you called from over your shoulder, and yuta quickly nodded with friendly quirked lips.
“i will! drive safe please!”
“you too!”
and you shut the door, yuta taking a few steps back then and watching as you turned on your ignition and switched to reverse, easing your way out from your spot until you eventually shifted gears— sticking a waving hand out the window as you drove off into the night and out of the parking lot.
yuta didn’t let his arm down until you were completely out of sight from where he was, standing there for a few more seconds with a battering fuzzy heart, his chest swirling with affection for you that he desperately tried to get under control and shut up.
it was embarrassing in a way, when his twisted mind often wrongfully swapped out where your boyfriend stood next to you at his games... with himself, picturing that it was him you were looking at like that, or imagining what it would be like to literally just hug you, or hold your hand or— or share something with you that made you so happy and had you smiling for him— all in the attempts of mending over the ache, a burden that resided permanently in every nook and cranny of who he was.
he knew fantasizing about shit like this wasn’t the healthiest for him… and not to mention disrespectful to you, doing more harm than good.
but yuta simply couldn’t help himself.
you were worth someone to think about, and he justified his daydreams by keeping them exactly as they were and nothing more. as daydreams.
daydreams he sort of made peace with taking to the grave.
it was a constant never ending warfare between morality, temptation, and heavy longing that often plagued his every thought after getting to speak with you— similar to this moment, with him shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket and finally walking away, head hung low and his brain contorting and pulling with lovesick guilt as he made his way to his car, it actually parked the complete opposite from where yours was.
because nonetheless...
he was looking forward to monday.
“what do you mean you didn’t book it?”
your boyfriend simply shrugged, bored eyes glued to the tv in your living room— planted on the couch as you stood there in fucked off disbelief that it seemed like he genuinely didn’t know what the hell you were talking about.
there’s no way there’s no way—
“i thought you did..?” he barely even spared you a glance before his gaze flickered back to the screen ahead, your heart sinking once you realized that he was indeed doing this bullshit again with you.
“reno— you said you would!” you explained exasperatedly. “you told me last week that you’d book a movie and make dinner reservations—”
“did i?” he mumbled. “i’m sorry babe i’ll book them for a different day. promise.”
he spoke so— passively. entirely distracted and embedded in whatever the fuck he was watching, refusing to give you the time of day as you stood there with your hair and makeup done, trying to suck back the familiar burning tears that prickled at your eyeballs.
“you said that last time.” you spoke softly. “and the time before that.”
“well i’m here now aren’t i?” he stood with a grunt and sluggishly made his way to the fridge, pulling it open and bending to rummage through. “why can’t we just stay in—”
“no reno we always stay in...” your voice quavered. “and you said—”
“fuck what i said y/n i don’t remember.” he snagged a beer bottle from the back and shut the fridge, turning to face you and eyes narrowing into slits.
“are you seriously crying? what did i even do?”
“you literally talked out of your ass and planned this shit with me!” you yelled, hands flailing out in desperation. “the least you could do is cancel on me ahead of time instead of letting me get fucking ready!”
“you’re being dramatic babe stop.” he mumbled, digging into the pockets of his pants and pulling out a bottle opener, hooking the latch beneath the cap. “just come sit down i’ll put a damn movie on. what do you wanna watch.”
you felt a pang through your chest and you shook your head, sniffling before reaching around him and snatching your purse from the kitchen island.
reno quizzically tracked your movements, taking a drink of his beer and swallowing.
“where the hell are you going?”
“out.” you spat, carefully wiping the corners of your eyes as you stepped to the door.
he scoffed. “yeah where?—”
“don’t make a mess in my apartment while i’m gone.”
“babe— i literally drove here to spend time with you and you’re leaving?” he bitterly rolled his eyes. “jesus man i should be the one mad at you.”
“be mad at me all you want. i’m leaving.” you unlocked the front door and wrenched it open. “bye reno.”
“oh my god y/n—”
“—i’m glad you remembered where the beer was in my fridge you asshole!”
and you slammed the door shut, the force ricocheting as you charged your way through the halls of your apartment complex and down the main elevators, hoping and praying that he didn’t follow after you so he’d at least spare the wrath of getting freaking chewed out by you.
you were livid.
so incredibly livid and frustrated and— and hurt as you got into your car, wondering when it was that reno started being so careless with you and your relationship, even when you’ve been running laps around him trying to find different ways to salvage it and go back to the way things were.
it was a never ending fucking cycle— him disappointing you over fallen out plans or forgotten special events, you crying and hiccupping about it until he eventually got over his attitude and softened up for you, sweetly apologizing and buying you flowers or trinkets and treating you like he used to...
kind.
because he was, you swore that he once was. when you and him first started dating that was the whole reason as to why you ended up being his girlfriend in the first place, the first few months genuine bliss until his efforts started gradually declining over the course of your two year relationship.
reno used to buy you flowers weekly and take you out for dinner every other night, he used to parade you around his friends and insist that you’d come along to any outing, he used to drop everything in his life if you needed something as simple as fucking eggs in your fridge.
and he used to make you feel wanted. someone worth thinking about.
maybe that was the reason why you were still with him, clinging on desperately to the man he once was in the hopes that he’d suddenly come back one day.
but he loved you still. even though he was sometimes mean and forgetful you knew that he loved you…
he did he— he just needed a little help is all…
“rika you have got to be kidding me.”
a singular cute meow filled the room as rika pounced off the sandy mess she made— litter sprinkled all over the fucking floor of the living room with scattered imprints of her paws etched in each small pile, yuta standing there with a slack jaw.
“i took a piss for like— two seconds how did you even manage to—”
his furrowed pissed brows made no effect on the little kitty, as she simply twitched her fluffy ears and cocked her head to the side, blown out pupils looking up at him earnestly before she padded her way over to his right leg.
“i lose sleep because of you…” he muttered, watching her curl herself against the fabric of his jeans and purring, trotting to the opposite side to do the same with his other leg, yuta’s heart actively being tugged and manipulated as she did so.
he quietly sighed through his nose then and bent down, gently carding his fingers through the soft white fur behind her ear and scratching, a slow smile curving his lips as rika purred louder and nuzzled her head into his hand.
“silly kitty…” he mumbled. “you abuse the system you know.”
one of yuta's biggest flaws out of the millions he already had with football, was that he had a hard time staying mad at cat, feeling she could go as far as getting them literally evicted from his apartment complex and he’d still give her a peck with a sweet treat at the end of the day.
“what color cat tree do you want?—”
his phone buzzed in his back pocket and he absentmindedly reached behind to retrieve it, his eyes flickering once to the caller i.d. before they shot back for a double take upon realizing who it was.
you.
“HOLY fucking— shit!—”
yuta’s phone slipped from his hand and he made a leaping lunge for it, slamming down tummy first and sliding across the cold hardwood flooring of his living room— helplessly scrambling after his buzzing device for a few tries until he managed to finally snatch it through his panic, quickly answering.
rika stared.
“hel— hello?”
“hi yu!” you sweetly greeted over the other line, and yuta felt his heart quicken at the sound of it.
it wasn’t often when you called on the weekends. actually— you didn’t call on the weekends just on the week-days when he had football practices and you were gathering photographs for the media or management and you needed to pull him for a quick chat—
“is— is this a good time?”
“yes!” he sputtered, using his unoccupied hand to help himself up off the floor. “y—yeah it is y/n… are you okay?”
“yeah i’m okay!” you laughed. “thank you! i just um… have you— have you gotten rika’s cat tree yet..? by any chance?”
his eyebrows pinched a little.
“n— no i haven’t.” he replied. “i was just about to go actually but— rika spilled litter all over my floor...”
you giggled and yuta felt like he was going to die.
“serves you right for leaving her all alone hm? you should know by now that kitty doesn’t like it when you’re away.”
he laughed then and nodded, looking over his shoulder and relieved to see rika still relaxing where she was and not destroying something else.
“you’re absolutely right.” he smiled, a pinky hue rising to his cheeks. “she’s gonna set my apartment on fire if we make it to the superbowl.”
“when you make the super bowl sir.” you corrected. “hey but listen um… i was wondering if it’s okay if i tag along? with— you? to get rika her cat tree…”
he froze.
“not if it’s too much trouble!” you immediately followed up. “i totally get it if not please don’t worry i was just— i remembered those were your plans and i don’t have plans so i thought—”
“no no!” he frantically shook his head.
fucking idiot—
“i mean yes!” he breathed out. “yes you’re more than welcome to y/n i— i don’t mind at all… please come.”
you gasped.
“really?! oh i’m so glad! send me your address and i’ll drive over to your place.”
holy shit.
“okay!” he hurriedly propped his phone up against his shoulder and ran across his apartment to get to his utility closet, fumbling for the knob and yanking it open in search for his vacuum.
“just— just let me know when you’re about ten minutes away!” he dragged the vacuum out and sped back down the hall. “i’m on the fifth floor just press the mail room button, i’ll text you the code—”
yuta had never hung out with you one on one before.
well technically he has, but it was always in group settings with his teammates or staff personnel after particular days, the lot of you meeting up at the bar just down the street from the stadium to have a quick drink and converse, though most of the time it was funnily always you and yuta talking amongst each other with everyone else doing their own little thing.
and there were a few blessed times where you both happened to grab a quick cup of coffee in the mornings right before clocking in… but every single one of these events happened on a working weekday.
never a weekend. and never on your own accord like this.
“rika please get out of the way i can’t vacuum when you’re blocking—”
the cat continued to wiggle her fluffy tail and stay cemented on the top portion of the vacuum, moving back and forth with yuta’s frantic push and pull as he tried to get all the litter off the floor before you got there.
“rikkaaaaa!” he groaned. “please kitty please i’ll do anything don’t do this right now—”
out of all days for yuta to somehow win the random ludicrous lottery of getting the chance to hang out with you one on one, was when his apartment was an absolute fucking mess with his cat being brattier than usual, her still plopped on the vacuum as he accepted defeat— continuing to hastily suck up the rest of the liter with her meowing away.
and he zipped through his place, to and fro as yuta stumbled away picking up scattered laundry or random pieces of trash he happened to spot as he went, all while simultaneously mopping and dusting and disinfecting and trying his hardest to get his apartment to look decent for you, and not a fucking shithole, wanting you to be comfortable in his home and not feel like you were surrounded by typical manly filth...
he was so nervous he felt like he was going to puke.
“rika let— go kitty you know you’re not supposed to be scratching on that!—”
yuta pulled on her as gently as he possibly could to get her claws unhooked from the fabric of his rug, her defiant hissing and blunt refusal to listen making him increasingly more helpless by the second.
“you mad at me for leaving yesterday?” he shook her body a little in emphasis. “is that what this is?”
“meow!”
“rika— how am i supposed to afford your things if you don’t want me going outside?!—”
“—MEOW!—”
a tiny chime rang through his apartment and he stilled.
“rika.” he lowly spoke, sucking in a breath through his nose. “get your nails out of the rug now.”
her ears flicked.
“meow.”
yuta dropped her and stood up straight to get the door, choosing to give up for the sake of keeping his sanity and not lose it more than he already had.
with shaky clammy hands he reached and unlocked the door, swallowing down the ginormous lump in his throat as he grabbed onto the knob and twisted it, slowly pulling the door open while attempting to cut off his ballistic rapid thoughts and seem normal.
he almost didn’t hear your greeting from how loud his pulse was pounding in his ears.
“hi!” you gorgeously smiled. “i could hear you fighting with rika from down the hall heehee!”
his neck grew hot, twitching and fidgeting in place at the sight of you dolled up.
beautiful thing.
“really?” he laughed breathlessly. “sorry she— she's being bad right now so she might—”
as if on cue a piercing hiss echoed throughout the apartment, yuta immediately snapping his head down behind him to see rika standing there defensively, her back slightly arched and pinpoint pupils shooting daggers at you.
“hey no!” he scolded, bending down to grab her. “what are you doing rika, huh?”
he lifted her overhead to look at her straight on.
“she’s the nicest to me... so handle her gently, okay? as if she were a butterfly or a flower.”
your eyes softened over his words then, gaze trained on yuta as he moved to set rika down on the ground, her shrills of protest smoothing to tiny cute mewls.
“i’m really sorry.” he apologized once more with a weary smile, shuffling to the side to let you in. “she’s never been friendly to anyone...”
you pouted and tilted your head, looking at the disgruntled little kitty as you walked in— rika padding away to settle in her plushy bed in the corner of the living room.
“that’s okay!” you cheerfully reassured, bright eyes looking around his spacious place. “i'm the one invading her space so she’s totally justified.”
“i’m still trying to get her to be nicer though.” yuta shut the door and trailed behind you, anxiously toying with his fingers. “it’s one of the reasons i can’t take her with me to public places... she’ll hiss at anyone who talks to me.”
you giggled and turned to face him, the charms on your purse jingling as you did so.
the sight of you standing in the middle of his apartment was something he thought he’d never get to see.
“it’s because she adores you.” you wrung your hands behind your back and smiled warmly at him, his chest fluttering at the look of it. “can’t blame a girl for loving her man.”
he laughed and nodded, though he couldn’t help but apply those words to you.
it's probably why you stayed with your boyfriend... the reasoning simple enough and easy to digest and yet—
he didn’t like it at all.
yuta quietly cleared his throat.
“you uh— you ready to go?” he felt around his pockets for his keys. “can i get you anything before we leave? i think i have um... iced tea or—”
“oh no i'm okay yu! but thank you!” you grinned. “i actually brought something for you—”
you dug into your purse and moved things around for a little bit before pulling your hand out.
on an offering palm lay a little strawberry puff pastry— adorned with sparkling drizzles of honey glaze and chocolate and powdered sugar, wrapped neatly in plastic wrap and a thin pinky bow to tie it off.
“it’s from the bakery down the street from where i live! as a thank you for letting me tag along with you today.”
yuta stared wide eyed and shocked at the shiny dessert, thinking that you were seriously the purest girl he’d ever come to know, and wondering how in the fuck he was ever going to get over you as his hand slowly reached to take it.
“you didn’t have to buy me anything y/n i— i honestly don’t mind you coming along at all...”
he held the pastry in his grasp like it was the most precious thing he’d ever received.
because it definitely was.
“but thank you!” he sent you a big dazzling smile then, the first one you’ve seen to actually be more genuine and happier, the crinkles by his eyes serving as a testament as he looked down at the dessert again.
you grinned.
he must really love cupcakes!
yuta insisted that he drove the both of you around for the day, and the nerves he felt about having you in his apartment were fucking dumb compared to what he felt now that you were in his car— the scent of your peachy perfume utterly consuming his entire being as he drove to the nearest pet store, a deathly grip on the steering wheel, knuckles dead white and his posture rigid, yuta trying with his life to slow his breathing and not make his jitters obvious while listening to you talk.
“did you have lunch yet yu?” you asked, scouring around in your bag again. “maybe we can get something to eat after we get rika her kitty tree.”
“we could do that yeah.” he replied softly, head briefly turning in your direction to see you pull out a small handheld digital camera, adorned with bubbly glittering stickers of hearts and stars and anything else of the like, a charmed strap that faintly rattled every time you moved.
yuta squeakily laughed as you proceeded to then snap multiple pictures of him, snapshot after snapshot as you loomed over the console to get the angles you wanted, a rising blush to his cheeks at your close proximity and the way your perfume wafted in his nostrils, all of it unfortunately causing him to turn his face away and practically hide.
you giggled and leaned back against your seat just as he made a left.
“sorry yu. you're my favorite victim for pictures.”
his heart made a little leap.
a— a favorite?
“i can’t imagine i'm a very good one...” he shyly smiled at you before pulling into the pet store’s parking lot.
you offendedly gasped.
“what in the world— yuta do you have any idea how perfectly candid you are like— all of the time?”
the blush on his cheeks deepened.
“candid?” he pulled into the first spot he found, switching his gear to park and shutting off the ignition.
“yeah! like you’re naturally just in your own element every time i see you.” you shrugged. “everything you do is honest and like... unguarded in a way. you're not at all performative which is something i appreciate a lot.”
yuta could only stare as you explained.
“and it comes across beautifully in photographs.” you finished off gently. “that’s why you’re my favorite.”
he eventually gave you a singular stiff nod, swallowing. “r— right.”
your perspective on the simplest of things was what yuta loved most about you.
and he guessed it was quite fitting for someone like you— a photographer who’s entire purpose and career was to take simple things and interpret them with a lens that was vastly different from others, to find the meaning in something that probably didn’t need nor have one and yet you managed to find it, capturing it and turning it into a project that was entirely your own, to expose that said meaning, showcasing it in a way that made it easier for others to finally understand and take notice of.
and maybe that’s what you'd done with him... maybe that was the reason why you cheered him up after every failing practice or game, or refused to let him talk negatively about himself, or why you even gave him the time of day when his other teammates could probably give way more than he ever could.
or why you quietly sat with him after being the reason for a big loss for his team, his head hung low, your hands folded in your lap, not saying anything and just offering you, your presence and the sound of your rhythmic breathing subconsciously aiding in pulling him from his overbearing thoughts of failure... instead exchanging them for counting your breaths or what kind of charm strap you had on your camera this time.
you were always switching them out depending on the day. sometimes they were dangling fruits, or little pink hearts, or stars.
though the small bears were particularly his favorite.
“...yu?”
he jumped and snapped his head up, turning to look at you.
“y— yeah? yes?”
“are you okay?” you frowned a bit. “you looked upset i— fuck was it because of what i said?—”
“no!—”
without realizing he reached and quickly took your hand, holding it gently in his as he shook his head side to side.
“no.” he repeated. “i was just... thinking.”
you laughed then. “you’re always thinking yuta.”
neither of you seemed to notice that he was holding your hand.
“i’ll have you know by the way that itsuki is my least favorite victim.” you quipped. “i hardly even edit over his pictures. i leave the breakouts on his face because fuck that guy.”
he couldn’t help but burst out laughing, you following suit as the two of you leaned over in a fit of snickers and hiccups, both your hearts healing and feeling happy for two entirely different reasons, yet the outcome was the same.
you were of the same rhythm.
his eyes flickered down and he stilled.
hands— soft— your hands—
“oh god i'm so sorry!—” he ripped his hands away and you jumped in your seat.
“what?! what?!—”
“i didn’t mean it i swear i didn’t realize i'm so sorry!—”
“oh! yu it’s fine don’t worry—”
“i’m being so fucking weird i'm sorry—”
“yuta holy hell relax!—”
once you both managed to get inside, it didn’t take long for yuta to pick out a cat tree for rika, since he knew that girl like the back of his hand and had her likes and dislikes engraved in his mind like a vice, more so for the reason that he’d never hear the end of her meowing complaints if she didn’t like it.
but he funnily dragged out his decision making for the purpose of dragging the hang out for a little while longer with you...
“oh! what about this one?” you excitedly pointed to a cream colored cat tree, filled with small obstacles and ridges that rika could run her claws over. “does she like this color? aww it has a little extra nook! she can take naps in that instead of fucking up your apartment.”
he giggled. “very true! i don’t think she’ll be a big fan of the little dangling ball things though.” he pointed to what he was referring to. “i’ve bought her an obstacle course with that before and she threatened me.”
you snorted, wholeheartedly amused at the fact that yuta’s cat seemed like she was a tiny dictator.
“i wish i had a cat.” you pouted. “reno hates them.”
he raised a brow as the two of you continued walking down the aisle.
“don’t you live on your own?” he asked you, and you nodded.
“yeah but— he’s over all the time so it’d be kind of an issue... OH! look at that one! i think she’d love that one!—”
he frowned.
“y/n it’s your apartment...” he countered softly, following where you were pointing and almost chuckling, as it was actually the exact cat tree he had picked out already for rika.
“no i know.” you smiled up at him. “i just want him to be comfortable while he’s over... i would hate for him not to be.”
yuta pursed his lips, begrudgingly accepting your response and choosing to move on despite the gnawing in his head.
“that one’s good!” he pointed to the cat tree. “good eye heeh! she’ll love that one.”
“really?!” you gushed, your twinkling little eyes hyperactively scouring over the tree. “oh i'm so happyyy! hopefully i get on her good side with it.”
he laughed and took note of the product number so he could report back to the cashier. “you will! i'll tell her you picked it out.”
the two of you then began your trek down to the front desk, the pet store nearly entirely vacant except for a few individuals here and there passing through various aisles, the soft hum of radio music buzzing through the building as you walked and chatted along.
“what do you feel like eating for lunch?” yuta sent you a friendly smile, amused at the way you were taking pictures of practically everything with your digital camera.
“hm?” you swiveled your body around in his direction without taking the device away from your face, the lens pointed directly at him now.
“oh anything yu! i'm not picky.” you snapped a picture of him, the flash going off briefly as you did so. “you can choose.”
yuta showed the cashier the product number once they got to the front, them nodding before disappearing off somewhere in the back.
“mmmm...” he leaned his hip against the register and crossed his arms, eyes trailing to the big windows at the front of the store with a clear view of the outside. “is there anything you prefer? maybe we can—”
he paused, gaze catching a familiar area across the street from the plaza— bustling with people as they walked through several grouped tents and stands, their arms packed full of goodies or paper shopping bags.
“oh the farmer’s market is today!” yuta turned his head to look at you again. “i’ve heard it's really nice!”
“is it?” you asked with a growing smile, standing on your tippy toes and craning your body around to try and see for yourself.
“uh huh!” yuta raised a hand then to nervously scratch the back of his neck. “do you... do you maybe wanna go there? see what they have and we can get something to eat there? if— if you’re okay with that?”
you frantically nodded, completely and heartily in love with the proposed idea as you excitedly looked out the window again.
“oh my god yes can we?! i looove farmer’s markets so much there’s always a stand with a fuck ton of charms—”
your boyfriend had been blowing up your phone pretty much the second you and yuta got to the pet store, all to which you ignored— hitting the mute button and shoving it somewhere in your bag as the two of you loaded up rika’s cat tree, the thing coming in a rather huge box that you made sure was secured snug in the backseat of his car, the both of you starting your walk across the street to the farmer’s market after.
yuta didn’t think he’d ever seen you in this sort of lighting before, with the barely setting sunny rays glooming over your skin and pretty face, your eyes seemingly more brilliant than earlier as they glimmered with each time you turned your head just the right way with the sun, or as they enthusiastically looked over the mountains of produce or endless bouquets in particular stands that you browsed.
and he grinned warmly with every moment you especially lit up at various selections of apricots or peaches, or buckets of lilies wrapped up in newspaper— stopping each time to gently graze your fingertips along the petals and mention how beautiful they were.
yuta didn’t think he’d ever get to do any of this with you... and yet here he was anyway, sharing a basket full of freshly washed strawberries with you as you walked along the busy market, chatting away about almost everything and anything under the sun, like you always seemed to do whenever you found yourselves together, stuttering and fumbling over his words but okay with it so long as it made you laugh.
it was a price he was more than happy to pay.
“how is it that you can’t remember how you started playing football?” you quirked a brow, a hand hovering over your mouth as you munched on a strawberry. “you lying to me yu?”
“no i’m not i swear!” he giggled boyishly, looking down at the fruity basket and picking up another berry. “i don’t know why but i genuinely can’t remember... i have shit memory.”
“you are lying to me.” you swallowed, turning your head as your eyes briefly caught another bucket of cutey lilies while you strolled along. “you’re the one that reminds me half of the time that i've left my water bottle behind in your cubby.”
yuta shyly snickered some more, biting down on the fruit and speaking through chews. “it's like i kind of remember playing it... around maybe when i was seven? eight? but nothing much before that. it's kind of a blur to me.”
you disappointedly sighed, dissatisfied with the fact that you’d never come to know the origins of how a kind boy like yuta became interested in douchey football.
“oh this one’s really good!” he cheerily beamed suddenly, your mind snapping out of its thoughts as you turned your head.
“what?” you perked up. “the strawberry?”
“mhm!” he chewed some more. “all of them are but this one is really sweet.”
“oh! can i try?”
“—‘course!—”
just as yuta thought you meant to try one from the basket, you stopped and leaned over to try his, your lips enclosing around the area that he just bit before gnawing down yourself, yuta’s heart dropping to the pits of his ass and his eyes bulging out of their sockets.
indirectkissindirectkissindirectki—
your lips gradually slid off the strawberry and you munched a little, your expression sparkling up as the extra sweet flavoring coated your tongue and tastebuds, nodding vigorously with a growing closed lipped smile.
“you’re so right!” you gushed, carefully wiping the tiny juice remnants from the corners of your mouth. “aw lucky you yuta! you picked a tasty one heehee!”
yuta remained frozen in place, watching you.
he didn’t know why that made heat rush through every fucking corner of his system, his sick brain replaying what you’d just done again and again as his gaze trickled down to the strawberry— glistening and shiny from just being wrapped around your plush lips.
timidly then— he lifted the fruit and brought it to his mouth, mind entirely blank as his own lips enclosed around where yours had just been to take a bite, yuta’s movements lingering and slow, but with a head that ran fucking rampant at the fact that he was basically savoring up the traces of your pretty mouth...
and somehow the berry tasted even sweeter this time around.
yuta couldn’t bring himself to look at you in the eyes after that as he chewed, for he was too busy simmering in his sheepishness while you continued to skip around and excitedly pull him to different stands, having him pose next to varieties of fruits and veggies so you could snap a photo with your camera.
it was genuinely all too much for him to take, but he didn’t give a shit. not with the way you looked at him and only him in this moment... giggling with him and— talking to him like he wasn’t the biggest fuck up in the world... but someone who was important. special.
you were about to prance off to a little charm stand— the first one you finally managed to come across— when you felt a hand snake around your wrist then, gently stopping you for a moment and you looking over your shoulder to see yuta, an unreadable expression on his face as he looked down at you.
you curiously tilted your head, and he blushed, diverting his gaze off to the side and raising his other arm to scratch the back of his neck.
what the fuck was he even doing?—
“is everything okay?” you asked softly, and his dilated pupils shot back to you.
“y— yeah! i—” he struggled, arm falling back over his side and the hold around your wrist slightly tightening, swallowing the tickling lump in his throat as he stared.
“...hi.”
you blinked before giggling, a cheeky smile bursting through your face as you did so.
“hi yu...” you replied, voice so sweet and soft that his knees nearly gave out.
why couldn’t it be him?
why couldn’t you be with someone that didn’t make you cry?
there were so many things that he wanted to say to you, and a million more other things he fucking couldn’t, everything that was you hitting him like a brick all at once and torturing him, taunting him... dangling a girl like you over his head and laughing in his face at the fact that you could never be with a guy like him.
even if your boyfriend was out of the picture... you were simply way out of his league. you were never meant to be with him.
“...yu?”
slowly, his fingers slipped from your wrist and he let you go, a sunken look to his eyes as he kept his head down.
“s— sorry i don’t—”
you then caught his wrist and he stilled, watching as you raised a hand and ran a gentle fingertip over his undereyes.
“you need sleep yu... how many times do i have to tell you hm?”
he needed you.
because your genuine concern, and the look of your brows slightly pinching together as your gaze stayed focused and anxious on the deep bags under his eyes, nearly made him stupidly fucking blurt that he loved you.
“m’sorry...” he sent you a wobbly smile, and you reciprocated with a tender one of your own. “rika keeps me up at night.”
“you and i both know it’s not just rika.”
you sighed through your nose and let your arm fall back to your side, your other hand giving his wrist a reassuring squeeze.
“you need to stop— letting them so much into your head yu…” you stressed softly. “your management, your teammates, the— the public or whoever… you can’t keep caring so much about what they think of you.”
there wasn’t ever a day that went by where you weren’t worrying about yuta… especially on days where you were all clocked in for practice or team meet ups, you baring witness to most of yuta’s hardships as he was constantly being told his ear off over certain play mistakes on the field, or weekly goals he was just barely managing to meet— his teammates weirdly harboring rights to make comments about anything at him that pissed you off like nothing else in your life.
“s’hard…” he weakly laughed, his pinks cheeks growing deeper as he held your worried gaze. “it’s a constant thing… but i’ve— i’ve grown thick skin to it! i promise i have.”
he smiled comfortingly at you, though your expression didn’t change.
“but you shouldn’t have to.” you shook your head. “you shouldn’t have to do that in the first place and just— do you. as cheesy as it sounds.”
“y/n—”
“you know what i think?”
he paused, his sleep deprived eyes searching yours for a beat before quietly responding.
“what?”
“i think fuck your management, fuck your teammates, and fuck anyone who gives you shit about anything that has to do with what you do on the field.”
you gripped his wrist tighter for reasons you didn’t know nor really understood, but it was almost like— desperation for him to get you to comprehend what you were saying… to believe it, you grasping at anything just so he could find the will to not care and finally let himself flourish at games, without the brooding habit of constantly checking over his shoulder in fear of someone’s unsolicited opinion.
“and you—”
you pressed a gentle finger to the middle of his chest and planted the tip there, a crawling tingly feeling spreading out underneath his shirt by it.
“—should think that way too yuta.”
you tilted your head.
“do you have any idea how much shit i’ve gotten from so many people in this industry because of what i do? and because i don’t have a dick?”
a giggling snort burst through his lips, and you grinned at that.
“i’m serious!” you laughed. “a lot of the time people don’t take me seriously… so they’re bratty and give me attitude and think my pictures are stupid.”
yuta’s face immediately dropped into a frown.
“they’re not stupid—”
you interjected. “i know that… do you see?”
you sent him another kind smile, the rest of your fingers subconsciously unraveling to settle flat over his chest in comfort.
“i get shit from people left and right but i know that my pictures are great just the way they are. i don’t need anyone critiquing my technique or telling me to change— whatever… i figured that out on my own.”
you looked at him pointedly. “—and without following anyone’s expectations... so allow yourself to do that.”
with each genuine sentence that flowed through your lips, they inexplicably moved him, so much so that his brain almost couldn’t fucking process how much of it made sense, and how much of it actually helped him— finally alleviating the sense of burden he felt for himself that he spent never ending hours judging and— and loathing just because everybody else did.
except you.
it was never you that did that.
you were always forgiving and levelheaded, firm in your own decisions about your career and who you were as a person, yuta spending practically every moment of his life since he’d met you watching how resilient you were, how you never let anyone talk down on you a certain way or— give the time of day to those who didn’t deserve it.
you were confident. bright and full of ambition and everything yuta idolized and cherished.
and the way you looked now as he stared with wide wonder filled eyes, you wholeheartedly representing a gorgeous walking angel that cared too much and worried tenfold about someone as painfully average as him, you actually seeing something in him despite the fact that he’d proven time and time again that there wasn't anything to see...
was the most painful yet beautiful privilege he had ever been given the fleeting chance to have. and yuta would never take that for granted, even when the time came to part from you for good due to the way life just was.
you were caught off guard by yuta’s random quiet burst of laughter then, squeaky and skittish and one you absolutely adored, the biggest of smiles stretching across his face as he held his gaze with you, a little happy twinkle in his eye with a hand over his mouth to try and mush his giggling.
“what?” you laughed along confusedly, your hand on his chest withdrawing to your side.
he quickly waved you off, an expression of fondness creeping in.
“you know what i think?”
you blinked. “w— what yu?”
“i think… that i wish i could be just like you.”
you stilled.
“y’know… strong. and determined.” he continued, the wrist you held carefully twisting in your grasp to cradle your hand— palm over palm as he stared down at them. “with you saying fuck everyone n’their expectations... i want to be like that.”
you tried to ignore the pounding in your chest, swallowing the lump in your throat as your own eyes stayed trained to where your palms met, the hustle and bustle of the packed farmer’s market completely drowning over from where the two of you stood, isolating you until it was just you and him and the feeling of his palm.
the warmth of the sun made itself comfy on the skin of your hands, on yuta’s tall frame and on the side of his sweet face... and somehow that really confused you.
why were you confused?
“well i've— i've also gotten in trouble for it in the past so...” your shy eyes briefly flickered up to meet his before they quickly diverted. “find a good middle ground heh...”
“but it’s also gotten you where you are now, right?”
your gaze slowly dragged up to see yuta already looking at you— an aura of ease to him.
“they don’t just hand out your kind of position like candy y/n.” he murmured softly. “so don’t change the way you hold yourself... and don’t let anyone disrespect you either.”
he was truly the sweetest boy ever.
and god you were so fucking confused, but the only thing that undoubtedly made sense to you and felt right was yuta... you pursing your lips before unexpectedly reaching out and wrapping your arms around his torso, pulling him into a squeezing hug as you shut your eyes tight, the side of your cheek pressed to his chest.
you had never had anyone say something like that to you... so it was nice to hear from someone’s opinion you valued very very much.
yuta felt his heart stop and a breath catch in his throat.
“thank you for hanging out with me today yu...” you quietly spoke, your embrace only tightening as yuta tried his best not to pass out. “and for everything else.”
you were hugging him.
just like he’d pictured before except— the real thing was softer.
and smelled like peach perfume.
hesitantly, slowly... he brought his own arms to snake around your shoulders, bringing you in further to his chest as you held him without any means of letting go as of this moment, him hoping that you wouldn’t feel nor hear the rapid beating of his heart while he hugged you back.
“you’re— you’re welcome.”
against his better judgement he craned his neck down, ever so gently leaning his cheek against the side of your head, guiltily wanting to further engulf himself in the sugary scent of you.
“you okay?” he murmured, and he felt you silently nod against his chest.
were you?
when was the last time you felt this way? have you ever?
and... when was the last time reno asked if you were okay? or didn’t make you feel like it was your fault for getting in trouble at your previous jobs because you stood up for yourself?
why was he such a piece of shit sometimes and yet— you always forgave him? why were you letting yuta down by allowing reno to do that..?
at the overwhelming reminder of him, it was like a switch went off in your brain, a bitter one that pulled you from the friendly kindness of yuta and back into the reality that your boyfriend wasn’t the man he used to be.
you pulled away and sent yuta a weak smile, taking a step back and readjusting the strap of your purse on your shoulder.
“don’t let anyone disrespect you too, alright?” you pushed with a quirking brow, and he laughed, nodding as he crossed his arms over his chest— trying to ignore the sinking feeling he got when you pulled away.
“work hard and make them feel stupid yuta.”
you chose not to attempt to make sense of whatever the fuck was going on in your head in regards to yuta.
it's not like you could’ve anyway, because you just didn’t fucking know, the only thing being very abundantly clear to you was that yuta was the greatest friend you had probably ever had in your life.
because he spent the rest of your hangout catering to you, making you giggle or pointing out various things he thought you’d like at the farmer’s market, him sometimes coming out of butt fuck nowhere with a glittery charm strap for you that he believed you’d love, which you in fact freaking did, profusely sputtering out how much it was and to let you pay for it, all to which he refused every single time and turned a blind eye, even when you threatened him.
your warnings grew in hostility when he didn’t let you pay for literally anything, especially when it came to grabbing a bite to eat at the first proper food stand you both saw, you trying to jump around his broad frame or squeeze yourself in between him and the cash register to shove through your card, but yuta simply taking repeated steps to block you out— snickering at your huffing and puffing and giving you a pat to the head.
you couldn’t remember the last time you hung out with someone and had such a blast... to the point where you really didn’t want to go home at the end of the day.
but that was okay, you’d see yuta on monday!
“what the hell is that.”
flopping your purse down on the kitchen island upon arriving home, you gave reno a look before your eyes dropped back down to what he was holding.
“chocolates.” he replied, holding the lavish ribboned box out for you. “to say sorry.”
you tiredly breathed out through your nose as you stared at it, shaking your head after a few moments.
“don’t want it.”
you went to step around him and he quickly grabbed your upper arm, stopping you.
“no— babe c’mon wait—”
“what reno...” you sighed. “i thought you’d be gone by now it’s late.”
“why, you trying to get rid of me?” he snorted. “i got you chocolates babe come on... don’t be like that.”
“thanks now go traffic is heavy right now—”
he tossed the box off to the side on the island and wrung you in by your arm, stuffing your face in his chest.
“stop y/n.” he mumbled. “seriously i don’t wanna fight.”
neither did you? why was he just making it seem like it was you that—
“you know i love you. right?”
you bit down hard on your tongue, his words for some reason stinging rather than doing what they were supposed to do.
“hey—”
he squeezed you a bit, and you looked up.
“you wanna say it back to me? you know i've been stressed from work i thought you’d understand that.”
you pursed your lips. “i— i do—”
“but you’re acting like i did something awful.” he countered. “makes me feel like a shitty bad boyfriend—”
“no i—” you quickly shook your head, your heart aching a little as you pulled back a bit. “i don’t mean to do that m’sorry...”
“it’s just hard like— you know i care about you... i don’t know why you’re questioning that y/n. i’m trying my best—”
you gnawed on your bottom lip as he kept talking, feeling like utter shit that you’d made him feel this way and added on to the pile of stress he already had.
you knew his work was incredibly taxing and demanding... it probably wasn’t nice for him to deal with you leaving like that earlier instead of just... spending time with him...
“i really am sorry reno.” you mumbled, and he paused his tangent, a sigh flowing through his lips before he leaned down and pressed a quick peck to your head.
“it’s all good. i just don’t wanna keep fighting y’know? it sucks when you always assume the worst of me sometimes...”
you solemnly nodded.
god why were you such a bitch?
you were always mourning the man he was and yet he was right fucking there in front of you. it was you that kept driving him away and— and making him this way...
you were just expecting too much of him...
you stood on your tippy toes for a small kiss, kindly smiling up at him after.
“thank you for the chocolates ren.”
that was often how it went for you both.
reno would fuck up, you’d get mad, you’d fight, you’d storm off to god knows where until you had enough of a head to come back, he’d give some kind of gift that was waiting for you in the kitchen or your bedroom, and you’d forgive him, along with the bundle of explanations he had for you as to why he did what he did.
and it hurt yes... but you couldn’t blame him nor did you. he just had a lot on his plate and needed patience from you, and you couldn’t understand why that was so difficult for you to just wrap your little dumb brain around the task and be nicer to him.
thankfully though, the weeks that followed up until the homecoming game reno and you barely fought or had issues with each other, you spending most of your time together at your apartment watching movies or just lounging around ordering in food, content to be cuddled up with him and have him without any bickering or disappointments, which definitely helped you stay focused for the big day instead of running your head nonstop through whatever recent argument you’d had with him.
“nanami you need to smile more.”
“i am smiling.”
you snorted and playfully rolled your eyes, holding your big chunky camera back over your face to continue photographing.
“maybe try with teeth.” yuta suggested from the spot next to you, his own quiet laughter that he poorly tried to mask further edging you on into a fit of giggles.
“i apologize y/n.” nanami readjusted his footing and switched the ball to tuck underneath his other beefy arm. “i’m afraid i'm not the greatest with photos.”
you gawked.
“are you kidding kento? do you have any idea how many emails i get from the girlies asking to have you shirtless for the yearly calendar?”
nanami stilled in surprise, a rising hue to his cheeks.
“i— well—”
“i get hundreds of them. hundreds. and i don’t blame them.”
“neither do i.” yuta shrugged with a cheeky grin as you continued clicking away, the camera shuddering with each photo you took. “but maybe you should nanami! you’re retiring soon i think this could be a farewell gift to your lady friends.”
“lady friends.” nanami repeated, voice smooth and levelled as he quirked a brow. “i don’t believe i follow.”
“your fangirls.” you cut in, craning your body a certain way to capture the angle you wanted. “your sluts if you will. your good precious girls—”
yuta burst out laughing as nanami stood there like he’d just seen a fucking ghost, his cheeks pinker than ever as he cleared his throat and tried to get his head straight.
“i— pardon—”
you gasped and popped your head up from your camera.
“wait but would you actually?!”
“absolutely not.”
“nanammiiii!—”
“ten minutes ‘til kickoff!”
several players nodded or gruffed along in response at the announcement, the locker room's ambience picking up in speed and urgency as everyone tried to get in their finishing touches of prep, nervous jitters flying all around with articles of clothing being chucked across the room for some fucking reason that made you laugh.
you turned to yuta then, planting a heavy hand on his bulky shoulder pad and giving him a single shake.
“you ready?” you cutely beamed up at him, and he gulped. “to make them feel stupid?”
“i feel stupid.”
you giggled as your hand slid off him. “stop yu the game hasn’t even started yet... you’ll do just fine.”
“i hope so.” his lips curved into a wobbly smile as he looked down at you, his eyes briefly flickering to the dangling charm strap you had on your camera, the one he bought for you at the farmer’s market, his heart doing a little somersault at the sight even if he’d already seen you with it multiple times.
“you like it?” he asked quietly, his head nudging to the charm.
your head dropped to where he was signaling before it snapped back up, your eyes wide and shimmery.
“yes! oh absolutely yu i love it so much!”
he laughed softly and nodded, a happy little closed lipped smile on his face as his eyes trailed over your bubbly expression, remembering the moment when the two of you had stood just like this... and you hugged him.
he felt incredibly silly for still being hung up on that when it was weeks ago that it happened.
but what was even worse was the fact that he’d even fucking dreamt about it like a creep, entirely mortified by his subconscious mind that it’d snap him out of his sleep— lying awake for the rest of the night until the sun came up and rika was relentlessly meowing from down the hall for food.
“okkotsu.”
he pulled himself from his thoughts and turned to the source, nanami standing by the locker room exit with his helmet in hand.
“the cheerleaders are performing now on the field. you'll be able to speak to miss y/l/n after the game.”
yuta froze in alarm.
“oh yes! of course!” he nervously laughed, scratching the back of his neck and fucking flustered. “i’ll— i'll be right there...”
with a singular nod nanami stepped through the doors and left, leaving the both of you alone in the cleared-out locker room.
“you should probably get going.” you smiled sweetly before setting your camera down, adjusting the strap so the device hung by your hip. “i’ll see you out there? look serious so i can take good pictures.”
“sure thing!” he cheekily grinned, shiny and big and one that made you pause a bit to look at. “i’ll definitely try.”
you placed a palm on his padded up chest and gave him a pat.
“and play yu. just play. don't pay attention to anyone else okay?”
yuta had lost count of how many instances he had where he wanted to kiss you.
much like now, the feeling so freaking unbearable that he had to physically step back away from you, your hand slipping from the fabric of his jersey as he did.
“i will.” he swallowed, eyes everywhere but yours— his change of demeanor making you raise a quizzical brow. “don’t worry heh...”
“what’s wrong.”
he stiffened and his gaze shot to you.
“e— eh?”
“you’re easy to read yuta what’s wrong tell me—”
he wants to shove his tongue inside your mouth that’s what’s fucking wrong—
“nothing! n— nothing i swear!—”
“yuta.”
“i swear i swear please i swear!—”
“okkotsu we’re lining up!”
yuta's teammate came to his saving and he booked it to the exit.
“i’ll see you on the field!” he called out to you, and you grumbled where you stood.
there was definitely something with him...
you waved goodbye and he slipped through the doors, your mind only preoccupied with his weird behavior for a few seconds until it switched to something graver.
his performance for the homecoming game. and the outcome.
“it hasn’t been an easy night for the heartliners so far ladies and gentlemen! they’ve struggled to move the ball and that scoreboard reflects it.”
“— yeeaah that you are right buddy! they’re unfortunately down ten points behind the opposing team and time is starting to become a problem... though surprisingly not at the fault of yuta okkotsu this time around—”
you rolled your eyes and turned down the volume of your radio, pulling an earbud out and readjusting the strap of your camera.
how the fuck were commentators even allowed to make comments like that?
as much as it pissed you off, they were thankfully correct, because yuta was in fact not at fault for the horrendous play his team was doing against the opposing, them basically handing out touchdown’s like nothing almost every minute due to their big fat ego’s, as if them just shy of making it to the superbowl was something to boast about a whole season later.
“hey! y/l/n!”
you spun around to see itsuki, standing by the refreshment station with a squeeze water bottle in hand.
god.
“what can i help you with itsuki?” you replied, clicking around in the settings of your camera as you walked up to him.
“you enjoying the game?”
“i—”
“hey when’s the newsletter dropping?” he interjected, tipping his head back to squeeze a stream of water into his mouth, gulping it down. “i wanna see the pictures you took of me.”
“uhhh probably sometime by the end of next week.” you sighed, your eyes trailing over the active field to try and spot yuta. “i need to get homecoming game photos before i start editing all the other ones.”
“oh sweet! you got any of me yet?” he grinned, and you had to bite down on the inside of your cheek to refrain from snapping at him.
“nope.”
he gawked. “what?! why not?!”
“because the last time we had a photo session you were bratty and annoying.”
itsuki scoffed. “yeah right like i was... you just weren’t doing your job i had to fix—”
“what the hell are you saying?”
your heart leaped at the familiar voice, spinning around to see yuta himself with furrowed brows and a sweaty flushed face, chest slightly pumping from just getting off the field.
“what.” itsuki shrugged.
“don’t talk to her like that man she works with us not for us.”
“i didn’t even say anything? you must be glad though you’re not fucking up the game for once—”
“oh hell no— itsuki!”
your bark made him shut his mouth and look at you.
“the hell’s the matter with you? piss off and go sit back down on the bench.”
“who are you, the coach?” itsuki rolled his eyes. “i’m not listening to shit from you—”
“itsuki knock it off i said don’t talk to her like that—”
“and what makes you think i'm gonna listen to you okkotsu? hm?” itsuki spat at him. “lowest stats on a player i've ever seen—”
you stepped forward and yuta quickly flung his hands on your shoulders to stop you.
“well maybe you should start dingbat! you haven’t scored a single touchdown and you’re benched today for being a moron—”
“itsuki! you bothering the photographer again?!”
itsuki's face dropped and he turned his body to look behind him, the coach for the team standing there a few feet away with narrowed eyes.
“no sir!—”
“the hell are you doing off the bench anyway? go sit!”
itsuki huffed and tossed his water bottle in the refill bucket, not sparing you nor yuta another glace before trudging his way through the grass to get back on the bench, muttering to himself.
“what is wrong with him?” yuta mumbled, his serious eyes watching itsuki’s back for a moment until they switched down to meet yours. “are you okay?”
“oh i'm good! i don't care about that man don’t worry.” you waved him off. “he can spit at me whatever his heart desires i couldn’t care less.”
yuta relaxed a little in relief, though that didn’t get rid of the absolute irritation he felt for itsuki talking to you like that.
similar to whenever he heard your boyfriend do it.
“i’m proud of you, yu!” you gushed suddenly, and he smiled a little.
“yeah? what for?”
“for playing so well!” you smiled brightly. “you're really holding down the fort from where you’re stationed on the field. i got really great photos of you!”
a look of surprise crossed his face and he let out a breathy laugh.
“r— really? i feel like i'm not doing much...”
“you’ve caught every ball nanami’s thrown at you, right?” you tilted your head. “you’re a quarterback’s dream right now heehee!”
jesus how lovely you were.
“i— thanks!” he widely grinned, wiping the sweat off his forehead with his arm. “i appreciate it y/n.”
“mhm! maybe after the game we c—”
you paused suddenly and pressed into your earbud, listening for a bit before pursing your lips to the side.
“sorry yu i gotta go.” you pouted. “communications wants specific shots from the other side of the field.”
“oh that’s okay!” he kindly replied. “i’ll see you later?”
“yes!” you began taking a few steps back. “i’ll come find you in the locker room’s after the game!”
he sent you a thumbs up and you fully turned around, making your way through the sidelines to get to where you needed to go.
yuta was glad he was able to be of good use to you for pictures today, and even more at the fact that he wasn’t screwing up the game like he typically did, it sincerely being because of what you had told him the day you both went to the market, your advice so incredibly impactful and genuine to him that he couldn’t help but hold onto it and adore it with his entire heart.
it wasn’t like you never told him things like that though, because you always did almost every single time he saw you... but maybe it was because it was during a setting that was outside of the stadium and workplace, or because you just looked so fucking pretty to him under the golden light of the sun, whichever it was he didn’t know nor really needed to know.
the point was that you believed in him.
“you thinking about her again?”
yuta jumped out of his skin and snapped his head towards the voice, his shoulders immediately relaxing once he realized it was his cheerleader friend, a breath of relief slipping past his lips as he threw his head back.
“oh my god you scared the shit out of me.”
“sorry!” she giggled. “sorry sorry... but you were i could tell you little lovesick man.”
his cheeks burned over and he fidgeted from where he stood.
“how— how do you know...”
“yuta you were literally just staring at her walking with drool coming out of your mouth.” she shook her head and set her pompom cladded hands on her hips. “guilty i say.”
he laughed and looked down, scuffing his cleats against the grass below.
“i should really stop making it so obvious...” he spoke softly. “she’s gonna catch me one day.”
“no!” the cheerleader quickly blurted, pompoms flailing out in front of her for emphasis before she dropped them. “oh absolutely not okkotsu you’re not doing that. you're not giving up on your wife.”
yuta snapped his head up with humongous wide eyes.
“my— my—”
“mhm yup yup!” she pointed a silly index finger up in the air and wagged it. “your wife your lover the mother of your children—”
with every word that flew out of her mouth— flashed a picture perfect image of each scenario, all of which did nothing but strangle his poor little heart and make him desperately try to simmer down the butterflies in his stomach.
“i feel horrible...” he mumbled, his eyes trailing over to you taking photographs on the other side of the field. “i like her so much and i... i genuinely think it’s getting worse man.”
the cheerleader sadly pouted, matching his line of sight to you out there.
having to hear yuta hopelessly in love with you and miserable was torture for her... as the cheerleader completely understood and empathized with the dilemma of loving someone you couldn’t have.
“because you love her yuta... yeah?”
he was silent for a moment before wordlessly nodding, an expression of guilt and remorse on his face.
“yeah.”
“tell her.” she gently pushed. “please man watching you keep this all inside is making me go fucking loony i don't know how much more of this i can take i worry about you like i birthed and breastfed you—”
yuta burst out laughing and he shook his head, simmering down a little to speak again.
“you know i can’t do that...” he trailed off.
“and why not.”
“her boyfriend...”
“what— the lowlife meanie?” she leaned her weight on one hip. “no mercy for him i don’t care.”
he sadly smiled at her, the both of them holding eye contact for a bit until the cheerleader eventually sighed.
“i know i know...” she spoke softly, her gaze switching to the field. “i’m so sorry yuta i really am...”
the two of them knew that it was no use, that it was inevitable unless you took a stand and put an end to your relationship that did nothing but hurt you and kept you blind to the fact.
“please don’t give up anyway yuta.” the cheerleader smiled sweetly at him, a twinkle of gloom in her eyes that matched his. “i know it seems impossible but i... i swear she’ll realize it soon. i'm still hoping for it.”
her kindness tugged at him, and he nodded, tearing his gaze away from you to look at her.
“thank you.” he gave her a pat to the head before retracting his arm back to his side. “i’m still hoping for it too.”
“no but seriously.” she pushed again. “i remember when i was crushing on my boyfriend— i thought that there was no fucking way he could ever feel the same way about me... i was devasted for so long because i convinced myself it was impossible.”
yuta quietly listened along.
“i was in such concerning amounts of denial man... and i was fucking stupid because he was giving me signals left and right that he did in fact like me.”
she bent down and swiped her pompoms up off the floor.
“my point is— i thought i was hopeless and done for for me to ever be with a guy like him... and now i've been with him for two years! sweet right?”
he giggled, nodding with a fond smile on his face. “very sweet! i'm happy for you.”
“thank you!” she smiled. “i’m saying that you’re not hopeless and done for either... she’ll come around yuta. you deserve so much to be with a girl like her.”
that was something that yuta truly didn’t believe... for a girl like you was way too good for him and way too out of his league...
was it okay for him to think for a little that maybe— he did deserve the right to have you..?
“oh!— here comes mommy i gotta go so you can have her all to yourself—”
yuta choked on his spit at what the cheerleader said, his cheeks blazing red and her doubling over in a fit of laughter.
“i’m— i'm sorry are you okay?! i— HAH!— it’s true though she’s such a mommy!—”
“who is?” you cut in.
“NO ONE!” yuta hurriedly tumbled out, panicked hands flying out in front of him as he cupped them over the cheerleaders giggling mouth. “no one is she’s just— she’s just being funny—”
“why are you silencing my girl yu?” you quirked a funny brow and shook your head. “hands down silly boy.”
he listened and instantly dropped his hands, the act only making her cackle.
“hi y/n!” she spoke through her laughter, extending her arms and pulling you in for a friendly hug. “you doing okay?”
“yes i am my love! and you? how's your first homecoming game going? is your boyfriend here to see you?”
“uh huh! he is!” she excitedly nodded, pointing behind her to a guy sitting in the v.i.p section with black spiky hair, dark sunglasses over his eyes. “and it’s going great! i'm tired and my boobs are sweaty but i'm good!”
you giggled.
“but speaking of boyfriends...” she trailed off, wringing her pompom cladded hands behind her back, leaning forward and bouncing on her tippy toes. “how are you with yours?”
yuta squirmed as he stood there, unsure if he should leave to respect your privacy or— or stay—
“oh we’re fine.” you smiled. “our anniversary is in a couple of weeks so i'm looking forward to that.”
he felt his heart ache a little, his eyes briefly catching yours before you both quickly looked away.
“aw how fuunnn!” the cheerleader gushed. “is he still being a dick?”
yuta froze at her forwardness and you laughed.
“thankfully no! can you believe it?” you fiddled a bit with your camera, an expression on your face that he couldn’t quite pinpoint. “he’s been good we just hang out at my apartment and things... but i'll let you know as soon as he pisses me off again!”
again. that was precisely the problem yuta despised so much.
it shouldn’t be again it shouldn't ever be that...
“leave him.”
you cackled then and yuta choked on his spit once more.
“i’m sorry!” she comically slapped her hands over her mouth, speaking through muffles. “i’m sorry i just love you and he makes me so mad and i just want you to be happy and yuta lo—”
yuta felt his soul evaporate from his body as he shot his arms out and wrapped them around her head, shoving her face into the crook of his arm to quiet down her blubbering that damn near spoiled his love for you and killed him.
“ahah! hahaah—”
“yu!” you gasped. “let the girl go you’re suffocating her!”
“she’s fine!” he cheesed, a big smile on his face to mask how much he was shitting it. “did you... did you catch what she said?”
“what— her hate for reno?” you shrugged. “it’s fine it’s warranted i don’t give a fuck.”
both his and the cheerleader's shoulders slumped, thankful that you hadn’t heard her almost slip up as yuta released her, plopping a hand on the top of her head after.
“i’m sorry.” he pouted. “you okay?”
“oh thank god you did that.” she breathed out, an expression of utter horror etched on her face as she shook her head. “jesus christ i need to work on shutting my mouth i have a really bad blabbering problem it’s my worst trait—”
you laughed. “it’s okay! seriously i do not mind one bit. i've had my fair share of those thoughts too my love.”
yuta and her exchanged looks.
the cheerleader didn’t question anything else after that (out of respect... because she would’ve), and the three of you continued to have small talk until she bid her goodbye’s and skipped on over to her boyfriend in the stands, the sight making you and yuta grin as you both watched him bend down and give her a bouquet of flowers from over the railing.
“she’s the sweetest girl ever.” you hummed, sighing softly through your nose. “i’m glad she has a man who values her.”
yuta nodded along, though his eyes stayed transfixed on you— his brows pinched together in worry over something about you that he still couldn’t figure out, nor did he have the courage to ask in fear of upsetting you.
it wasn’t too long after that when the coach called yuta back on the field, his break coming to a fast close as he proceeded to then hastily prep his football gear and helmet for the game, receiving the usual words of encouragement from you with a pat to his chest before you sent him off with a cute smile, an act he looked forward to every time he played.
and today would’ve been a pretty decent day! if it wasn’t for his destined fuck up.
“okkotsu no! cut through the middle!”
your face was contorted into an everlasting wince as you watched yuta play— what was supposed to be an even pass of the ball from one of the quarterbacks to him as the receiver, yuta was unfortunately running in the wrong direction...
“oh! hard watch for the fans! receiver okkotsu was expected to cut across the middle, but he’s running down field!”
“okkotsu cut through the fucking middle! you're gonna miss the ball!” a player yelled from the sidelines, his hands in his hair and your hands drawn to your chest in absolute anxiety, not wanting to accept the fact that yuta’s mistake most likely had just cost them the game...
you watched him swivel a corner then and attempt to cut through the middle of the field, when a defender from the opposing team swooped in out of fucking nowhere and leaped for the ball— it flying directly clean into his hands, landing on his two feet and making a run for it to the end zone to score a touchdown.
“and interception! that's a costly miscommunication from receiver okkotsu and quarterback shotaro.”
“yuup that’ll do it! man i gotta tell ya, i was starting to wonder when okkotsu would make his big oopsie—”
you groaned in irritation before shutting your radio off and yanking both of your earbuds out, already moving to detach the radio equipment from your waist and get it the fuck off of you, trying to block out the mixture of roaring cheers and boo’s from the crowd as the game drew to a losing close.
“you doing alright miss y/l/n?”
you snapped your head up to see nanami, just making it off the field with batted breaths and his face glistening in sweat.
“when are they replacing these commentators?” you shook your head and finally ripped the radio off, chucking it somewhere across the grass by the refreshment station with no fucks given. “they don’t even talk about the game half of the time! they just talk shit about you guys! about yuta!”
nanami slipped his helmet off and wiped the side of his face down with a nearby hand towel.
“i advise you not to grab a radio from this point moving forward.” he spoke. “they’ve been doing this sort of thing since i made it in the nfl.”
“that's the problem!” you whined, craning your body to and fro to try and catch yuta through the massive crowd of players and employee personnel. “this industry is so corrupt and i'm getting sick of it.”
“i understand.” nanami gave you a tiny closed lipped smile, tossing his hand towel over his shoulder. “being mistreated by the nfl is a given when you’re a starter. okkotsu will find his way miss y/l/n... i assure you.”
you hummed in far off acknowledgement, nodding.
“and i assure you’ll find your way to him?”
you stiffened and jerked your head up to look at him.
“e— eh?”
“hm?” he quirked a brow, wiping the sweat off of his neck with his towel. “what is it?”
“i— what do you mean—”
he simply pointed up ahead, your eyes following to see yuta coming off the field with his head hanging low.
the fuck was the matter with you?
“o— oh. right!" you nervously laughed. “thank you nanami... i’ll see you inside?”
“of course.”
you failed to notice the slight knowing lift of nanami’s lips.
“yu!” you called out, jogging up to him. “you doing alright?”
“i'm about to get fucking booted.” he spoke miserably, pulling his helmet off and shaking out the wet strands of his hair. “i fucked up so bad y/n... they’re all gonna kill me.”
“stop silly boy.” you nudged your shoulder with his bicep. “it’s only the homecoming game it’s fine. you guys’ll just have to work a little extra to get back in the running—”
“fuuucckkk fuck fuck fuck—”
yuta ran a hand down his face in exasperation, shaking his head and actively drowning in his thoughts of self-deprivation to try and listen.
“yu—”
“i’m gonna get benched for the rest of the season y/n holy fucking shit and itsuki isn't gonna shut the hell up about it either—”
“yuta do you even remember anything i told you from our day at the market?”
he faltered, eyes flickering to you as you both walked across the stadium field, shoulders slipping past various others through stuffy crowds while you traveled.
how could he forget? he’d be stupid to forget.
“of course i do.” yuta sent you a timid sweet smile. “fuck everyone. hm?”
you singularly nodded, satisfied. “exactly. and it applies to this too.”
you were exactly right.
yuta's anxiety and guilt evidently simmered down much to his surprise, his gaze trailing down to his cleats before speaking again.
“you have anything planned for your anniversary? with your boyfriend?”
you felt a small pit in your stomach then.
“not really...” you laughed. “but it’s still a bunch of weeks away so we’ll probably think of something then!”
except you fucking didn’t. he didn’t.
because the weeks that followed reno was radio silent about your anniversary, you dropping subtle hints that were apparently way too subtle for him as he still made zero mention of the date as time passed on, your mind unfortunately preoccupied with the fear of him— forgetting while you hung out with yuta one on one, or took photos for the team to submit for the nfl network, or while sitting right next to reno on your couch— the fear never leaving you and only increased in size.
you felt it wasn’t fair nor right for you to be the one to bring it up... considering his issue has always been having a bit of a lack with planning because of his stress from work...
which was okay. truly... but you’d be lying if you weren’t hoping for— something when it came to your anniversary.
and you figured you shouldn’t have let your feelings bottle up and flat out ignore them until the day came, because you spent the entirety of it in denial that reno would surprise you with something after you got off work, that he was just trying to help you feel better about working on your anniversary period so he had something special planned up his sleeve, just— anything man anything.
but there wasn’t anything. and the bottle you clogged up with all your denial and disappointment and anger, exploded in the middle of you taking photographs for the team.
“reno— i'm seriously getting so sick of your shit what do you mean you forgot?!”
you stood with your phone pressed to your ear amidst the tunnel by the locker room, thankfully the area vacant as the football players and cheerleaders were out on the field practicing and running drills.
“i thought it was next week? shit i'm sorry babe—”
“you’re sorry?!” you felt tears prickle at your eyes, hands trembling. “how the hell could you think it was next week? i bet you didn’t even know!”
“now don’t start putting words into my fucking mouth y/n i'm stressed out enough—”
“oh my god.” you breathed out in disbelief, shaking your head. “is it really so hard for you to— to plan anything with me or— remember anything?!—”
“you seriously making me feel like shit about this?!” reno raised his voice over the other line. “you had work today anyways let’s just move it to next week whatever.”
“whatever?!”
you spotted yuta’s cheerleader friend from somewhere across the field, her already looking at you with the most worried expression you’d probably ever seen on her face, your tears then spilling and flooding over your cheeks and it enough to make her immediately drop her pompoms and run to you.
“you’re such an asshole sometimes, you know that?!” you sobbed, and the scoff that followed from him angered you.
“and you’re dramatic as hell y/n dear god—”
“—put it on speaker babe put it on speaker.” the cheerleader quietly ushered you once she arrived, attempting to steady her breathing from the jog. “i need to hear what he’s saying.”
with shaky hands and a sob tumbling out of your throat you listened, pulling your phone away from your ear and putting it on speaker.
“you know i almost got fired yesterday from work?!” reno continued. “and now you’re here throwing this in my face?! can you not think about yourself for just one second—”
the cheerleader’s jaw hung to the floor and she shook her head, quickly tapping the ‘mute’ button on your phone so she could speak without him hearing.
“don’t tell me he forgot your anniversary.”
you sobbed and hiccupped, nodding through your stream of tears.
“he— he did!—”
“—oh my god i'm about to do something really fucking bad to him that’s gonna get me thrown in prison—” she reached and gripped your shoulders. “not even flowers?! a— a kiss on the lips?! and he’s talking to you like that?!”
you only continued to cry and shake your head, your unoccupied hand covering your eyes as your shoulders shuddered.
“babe you have got to leave him i'm being so serious!” she spoke exasperatedly, giving you a squeeze. “he’s crazy! he's insane! he's— he’s broke i don’t know!—”
yuta was starting to wonder why he hadn’t seen you much throughout the day.
especially when you completely disappeared from the field at one point for an extended period of time, something you never did without at least letting him know first.
“take a thirty okkotsu!”
nodding along to his coach, he sent him a small raise of the hand before jogging off the field to the refreshment station, grabbing a water bottle from the fresh rack and squeezing some into his mouth.
where had you gone?
his eyes searched across the large field as he swallowed, a brow raised in confusion as he then turned his body around to try and spot you in the stands or— somewhere, his confusion only growing once he realized that you were literally just gone.
maybe you went home early? that was always a possibility.
he would’ve liked to say goodbye to you at least...
yuta tipped his head back and squeezed a bit more water, swallowing it down and tossing the bottle in the refill bucket, beginning to walk a few ways further off the field to fetch a clean hand towel from the utility station—
when he heard it.
uncontrollable gut-wrenching sobs that sounded a lot like they were coming from you, and a man yelling utter nonsense through a phone speaker that sounded a lot like reno.
he froze in place, heart dropping to his stomach and skin going sickly pale, his feet already hurriedly carrying him to the noise coming from the tunnel— stopping just outside of it around the corner.
“—i swear to god nothing i ever do is good enough for you y/n.”
“are you seriously making this about you?!” yuta heard you hiccup. “reno you forgot our anniversary! you fucked up! why can’t you just tell me you’re sorry?!”
“because i’m not gonna apologize over something so stupid!”
his jaw hardened.
“if it really mattered this much to you, you would’ve reminded me!”
“that's the thing! i shouldn’t have to!” you cried. “jesus what is the matter with you?!”
“what’s the matter with me? look at yourself first before you say some shit like that to me.”
holy hell it took every ounce of yuta’s body and soul not to charge in the tunnel and snatch your phone from you to yell at the piece of shit you called your man, his breathing instead growing ragged as he balled his fists up at his sides.
“reno how much of an idiot— hic!— can you be to not see— that this is your fault?!”
“you always do this!” reno yelled over the other line. “one mistake and suddenly i'm the worst fuckin’ person—”
you sobbed harder and that made yuta’s chest ache so freaking badly, lifting his hands to run them down his face— a blend of frustration and sadness and violence hitting him all at once the longer he listened to your idiot boyfriend disrespect you and hurt you like that.
“that’s— that’s not what i'm saying at all!”
“hang up the phone y/n.”
he recognized that voice to be his cheerleader friend, the tinsiest sense of comfort washing over his head that was just enough to make him not charge in there, relieved that you at least had someone with you to help you.
“you know what? if you’re gonna keep attacking me like this maybe we shouldn’t even talk tonight—”
“fine by me!”
and you hung up, squeezing your phone in your hand while simultaneously digging the heels of your palms into your eyes, your head pounding from how much you’d cried and screamed as you hunched over with your back against the wall, silent sobs wracking through you.
you were exhausted.
you'd spent three fucking years attempting to keep your relationship afloat, doing literally everything— the planning, the just because gestures, the asking to hang out, all of it and yet it seemed like it was never enough for reno, him still treating you like you weren’t even on his list of priorities to begin with.
were you ever?
“goddd—” the cheerleader whined, wrapping her arms around your shoulders and pulling you in for a tight embrace. “i hate seeing you like this... you’re too pretty to be doing this...”
you laughed a little through your tears, slumping your body against hers.
“i don’t— i don’t know what to do.” you whispered, sniffling.
“break up with him.” she gently emphasized. “please y/n... it’s a never ending cycle until you leave.”
she pulled back and gave you a sad smile, moving to wipe your cheeks with her fingers.
“trust me i've been in this kind of situation before and it fucking sucks.” she continued. “i get you. i get why you stay, but i promise you that you’re currently missing out on a great sweet guy who absolutely loves you and would do anything for you. don't let shitty stinky reno hold you back from that.”
didn't reno absolutely love you? wasn't... he the one who was a great sweet guy and did anything for you?
you didn’t even know anymore.
you silently nodded, sniffing and wiping the rest of your tears away, pulling back completely and sending her a small smile of your own.
“thank you my love.” you whispered. “for being here for me.”
“always!” she beamed. “you know that... and you also know that you need to do what's best for you, right?”
you nodded with a purse to your lips.
you did know it... so why were you still hesitating?
the cheerleader stood with you for another great while until you were seemingly okay, you eternally grateful to have such a kind friend like her through all of it— quickly giving her a suffocating hug goodbye once she was called back by her cheerleader girls and left you alone in the tunnel.
you didn’t know how much longer you stood there for until you decided to head on to the locker room, wanting to freshen up a little at yuta’s cubby and get a fast sip of water before going back out on the field, praying to god that your makeup wasn’t too fucked up.
and at the fleeting reminder of yuta you eased a little, an unknowing teeny quirk playing at your lips as you walked through the locker room doors, eager to find him out on the field and just be in his company—
“hi.”
you stopped in your tracks.
yuta was standing there by his cubby, holding the cutest miniature bouquet of lilies in his hands, his face flushed pink and a wobbly smile that made a breath hitch in your throat.
“not to be weird or anything! but... i— i overheard your conversation earlier in the tunnel...” he chewed on his bottom lip. “i’m sorry i didn’t mean to get in your business like that—”
he stopped himself and sighed, shaking his head as he looked directly at you.
“he shouldn’t forget y/n...”
a new wave of tears bubbled up and spilled, yuta’s shoulders dropping at the sight as he hurriedly made his way over to your crying self.
“no! sorry sorry i— please i—”
as soon as he got to you, you took the lovely bouquet from him and threw your arms around his neck, burying your face in there and yuta’s brain going into a short circuit.
“thank you.” you sobbed, voice to a whisper as you clutched onto him, yuta’s heart melting and his arms quickly coming to wrap around you, holding you just as tight if not more.
“please don’t cry...” he murmured through your hiccups, running a comforting hand up and down your shaking back. “i really hate it when you cry—”
“how did— how did you know i love lilies?”
he paused, blinking a little and readjusting his arms to bring you in closer.
“at the market...” he spoke soflty. “you were— you were looking at them a lot.”
something was different with yuta. or you. you couldn’t quite put your finger on it.
you nuzzled your face into his neck.
“he’s not good for you y/n.”
your brows slightly pinched, trying to calm your sniffles so you could hear what he was saying.
yuta never gave you his opinion on your relationship with reno.
“he’s awful to you.” he mumbled. “he cancels your dates or forgets them, he’s mean to you, he disrespects you, he makes you feel like everything is your fault when it isn’t at all—”
he pulled back a tiny bit and unwrapped an arm to gently wipe your tear-stained cheeks, his eyes sinking into yours and so serious that you couldn’t help but just stare up at him.
“he doesn’t like cats.”
you weakly giggled.
“he takes you for granted. he hurts you.”
both of his hands came around then to cup your warm cheeks— your doey wet eyes and pouty lips making words spill from his mouth that shouldn’t.
“i hate him...” his own cheeks buzzed pink and he diverted his gaze. “m’sorry but... i really fucking hate him.”
“because he’s mean to me?” you sniffled.
neither of you realized, but the space between your lips and his was getting alarmingly close— your subconscious minds gravitating towards each other, itching to be where they’re supposed to be after so long of teetering around in careful avoidance.
yuta dazedly nodded, half lidded eyes tracing over your pretty face.
“because he has something i want.”
your breaths fanned against your cheeks, and yuta could just about feel your lips grazing his, him carefully cradling your face and slowly parting his mouth to nearly slot in between yours, your peachy perfume swirling all over his insides—
when a sudden bang! sprang you both apart, your chests pumping fast as you stared at one another with panicked expressions.
“dude i almost ate shit earlier on the field.”
“idiot when?!”
“when nanami threw me the ball! i don’t think that guy’s real man he’s too huge—”
you tucked your hair behind your ear and looked down at the bouquet, the brown paper wrapping crinkling underneath your grasp as you studied it, the boastful chatter of yuta’s teammates slowly dissipating the farther they trudged down the hall, eventually morphing into mere muffles until they left you in silence.
“thank you for the flowers yu...” you spoke up after a few seconds, your tone soft and shy as your gaze timidly locked with his. “you’re the sweetest...”
he stiffly nodded, willing and begging his heart and mind to shut up about the moment he almost had with you or else he was going to scream.
“s— sure!” he smiled weakly. “any time.”
was this offense from reno finally enough to get you to break up with him? to see that he was a piece of shit and didn’t deserve you in the slightest?
because at this point it was not about you and yuta and how he felt for you, it was literally just for you, for your wellbeing and happiness, for the chance for you to thrive and be happier— freed from the chains of a man who knew how to do nothing but beat a kind girl down and blame her for his mistakes.
blame you. a woman who was entirely worthwhile and deserving of so much.
“you should probably go back out—”
yuta held his hand out for you and you stopped.
nothing mattered in that moment. nothing at all but yuta and the hand that awaited you, nothing at all but the feeling of his slightly roughened calloused skin as you took it, allowing him to bring you in closer so you stood almost chest to chest, your heart starting to race again.
and you were confused.
“leave him.” he whispered, and you swallowed the lump in your throat. “please. for you... you should have way more than this.”
should... you?
“you think so?” you murmured back, and he nodded, his thumb gently grazing over your knuckles.
“i know so.”
yuta hadn’t felt this much hope in a long time.
actually— he didn’t think he’d ever. but with the way you silently agreed with him— a cute teeny smile slipping across your face, looking at him like— like he’d seen you look at your lilies... completely caught him off guard. and he would’ve explored it further if it wasn't for nanami popping his head in and calling out about a meeting the higher ups wanted to have with him.
what was supposed to be possibly the greatest night of yuta’s life, turned into the worst.
and not just with the higher ups... but with you.
PART TWO
taglist!! <33 (THANK YOU THANK YOU!):
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holy shit.
he’s never looked better.
pretty flower
{frat boy!yuta okkotsu x nerdy f!reader}
summary: yuta okkotsu is the most popular guy to ever exist on your college campus— president of his frat, throws the biggest parties nearly every week, and is absolutely obsessed and in love with you, his nerdy cutie girlfriend who knows so much about everything and funnily smartens up his dumb frat boy brain, the two of you having been together for a year now and absolutely smitten every moment you spend together. and while the both of you are happy, the rest of your college campus isn't— specifically yuta's crowd, as they can't seem to accept he's no longer the man whore sleaze they once knew, opting to creating non-stop gossip about the two of you and yuta's supposed infidelity, absolutely scaring the shit out of him as he tries to get rid of the rumor before it reaches you.
warnings: MDNI. afab!reader, cursing, pet names, angst w/ comfort, FLUFFFF yuta LAUUVS YOUU, mentions of alcohol and drinking, lovesick yuta, sexual themes, SMUUUUTTT, p in v sex, unprotected sex (wrap it y'all), yuta talks you through it MEOOOWWW, missionary, riding, mentions of cheating, dirty talk, inexperienced shy cutie reader, praising, mentions of reader having ‘pink cheeks’ is only to amplify and over-exaggerate feelings of embarrassment, shyness, and everything in between, and not to be taken literally! this is a work of fiction, and you can imagine many things for yourself :)
word count: 23.3k (TEEHEEE—)
authors note: ALLL HAAAILLL FRAT BOY!YUTA I LOOVEEE HIMMMM i need him like i need water i am OBSESSEEEDDD!! i hope you guys love the ficcc ahhh !!! <3333 she was such a TREAT to write and i hope y'all are equally obsessed with sir yu like i am !!! I LOVE YOUUUU ALL SO SO MUCH MWAHHHH !!! <333
if you would like to know the origin story of this au, you can read it here! but it can also be read without it :)
yuta okkotsu was a changed man because of you, and his life was entirely different now than it was almost a year ago.
“oh yu! look at this one!”
yuta looked up from the other side of the jellyfish tank, lifting his submerged hand from the lukewarm water and walking over to you, careful not to trickle any residual droplets from his fingertips onto the floor below.
“what flower?” he smiled, bending over a bit to see what you were excitedly pointing at.
“it’s a baby...” you spoke softly, your hand slowly delving deeper into the tank and inching closer to the specimen, your index finger out.
“oh that’s right…” he murmured, his tone matching the quiet serenity of the exhibit as a whole, inching closer to you and gently bending down to rest his chin on your shoulder.
“what kind of jellies are these again?”
“moon jellyfish!” you turned your head and smiled at him, pecking the side of his forehead. “their sting isn’t strong enough to penetrate the skin… that’s why it’s safe to pet them.”
he hummed, eyes watching you caress the little baby jellyfish softly with your finger, the rest of them fluttering and pumping about around your wrist as you giggled, the sensation of their soft tentacles tickling you.
“they’re cute!” he smiled contently, lifting his head from your shoulder to then dive his nose into your neck, you laughing and squirming at the feeling.
“do you know any other facts about them baby?” he muffled against your skin.
you simmered down and thought for a moment, your hand moving from the baby jelly over to a bigger one and running your fingers over the top of its head— the smooth slimy texture fascinating to you as yuta picked his head up to stand upright.
“whenever they’re short on food, they can shrink down in size and save their energy that way.” you lifted your arm, little droplets of water sliding down your skin and tattering down quietly to the surface below, your hand drawing back to grip the edge of the tank and looking sweetly at yuta. “so it’s less demand for food and things.”
he stared at you warmly, a literal lovesick stupid smile on his face as he listened to you continue on with your little list of facts about the moon jellies, his ears basically perked up and alert as they drank in everything that you had to tell him— it being that way ever since your pretty timid self came to one of his frat parties two years ago.
and yuta loved to hear you talk about your interests and the smarty things you knew, that still unchanging and him in absolute wonder every moment he spent with you at how much information your little mind held, and he felt like his idiot num nut brain was funnily smarter now solely due to you.
because yuta before you was an absolute dick, and every time he thought about his former lifestyle he cringed at the stark difference— throwing rowdy parties each night as the president of his frat, playing beer pong for the hell of it, and getting shit faced with not an ounce of regret in his system, him sleeping with anyone he wanted and desired, and never even having to lift a finger in efforts at it either until he met you.
but yuta was ashamed.
so incredibly ashamed of his awful habits, and thanking his rotten luck that you gave him another fucking chance after blowing his first meeting with you, him working hard for an entire year straight just to get you to look at him the same way you looked at your friends, and to get you to trust him and win you over despite his awful reputation.
you changed him… wholeheartedly and for the better, his reputation no longer of a sleazy good for nothing piece of shit who whored around, but of just yuta okkotsu— president of his frat, still the most popular guy to ever fucking exist and throwing massive parties every week… but of also a guy who loved his girlfriend, a girl that took him off the market with just her presence alone, and a girl he was lucky enough to have by his side despite everything.
but though yuta’s new reputation was flourishing and grand, it didn’t mean his old one just— eradicated and didn’t follow him everywhere he went.
everywhere you went.
because it did, and he knew of the whisperings of his past every time he walked you to your lectures in the halls… how he had slept with so and so that one time, or how he did this that other time, and he was utterly remorseful over the fact that you had to hear those things too, knowing he wouldn’t like it in the slightest if it was the other way around no matter how many times you reassured him that it didn’t bother you.
and it’s precisely because of his old reputation that he was terrified of you thinking he was using you in anyway shape or form... that you were just another body count to him and that the minute he got you in bed with him he was going to leave— that particular gossip following him everywhere relentlessly and him feeling fucking sick over the thought of you hearing and believing it.
“can all jellyfish do that?” he asked, lifting a hand and mindlessly playing with a strand of your hair. “shrink in size?”
you shook your head. “not all! but a few others can too… moon jellies are just the best at it.”
he nodded, a content smile still on his face as he hiked up the straps of your purse over his shoulders, holding it for you and gladly doing so while you enjoyed yourself looking through the different informational panels of the exhibit— the aquarium being one of yours and yuta’s favorite places to go whenever you went out together on dates, the number of times you’d both been there literally irrelevant as it was deemed your designated special spot for the two of you, yuta often taking you there after classes, or randomly throughout the day to spend time with you and love on you-- doing it all amongst the fishies, jellyfish and penguins that you both had come to recognize and name.
“you having fun flower?” he asked, swinging an arm around your shoulders as you began walking out of the jellyfish exhibit. “you hungry at all? we could eat really fast before seeing buddy if you want.”
you smiled.
buddy was the penguin you and yuta decided to take ‘ownership’ of and was the sole reason why the two of you visited the aquarium so much to begin with— to see the chubby and puffy little penguin that was noticeably friendlier and more interactive than the rest of the flock, and you liked to think that buddy recognized you too every time you guys peered at him through the glass walls— your boyfriend always saying that the little furry thing was a part of his frat and second in command.
“oh let’s see buddy now!” you quickly interlaced your fingers with his hand that was around your shoulders, slightly nudging yuta in the direction of the penguin exhibit. “i don’t wanna keep him waiting.”
“heh, okay!” yuta’s cheerful breathtaking smile made the heat quickly rise to your cheeks. “and that’s very true… he’ll get grumpy like last time.”
you laughed. “i’m pretty sure that was because the staff was a little late on giving him food…”
“mmm— don’t think so!” you passed through the entrance of the exhibit and turned left, other families and kids staring intently at the different penguin habitats and nurseries as you walked by, majority of the enclosures housing from baby penguins to those who were just learning to grow and take independence. “it’s because he missed us flower.”
you both reached the primary habitat that contained a handful of adult penguins waddling about and jumping from big rock boulders, an ample sized body of ocean water in front that allowed them to go for a swim or splash their little wings if they wished, you and yuta approaching the front and eyes immediately scanning for buddy.
“do you see him..?” yuta spoke softly, his eyelids squinting over the rocks.
“nuh uh…” you shook your head, peering around and eyeing every penguin in attempts at spotting buddy in particular.
“oh! there! over there!” you speedily pointed to the far left, buddy on his chubby tummy on top of one of the highest boulders in the sanctuary, soaking in the cold icy temperatures of the habitat while taking a nap like a respectable little king, his body softly moving up and down in even breaths.
“really?! where?” yuta stepped closer to the glass wall, his gaze desperately scanning for buddy and shoulders slumping when he still couldn’t spot him. “oh no baby i think i need fucking glasses—”
you giggled, tilting his chin more to the left and pointing to the sleeping bird. “there silly… he’s taking a nap on his belly.”
“oh i see him!” his charming face broke out into a smile. “aw man we came at a bad time then flower… he might think we ditched him for the day and be mad at us next time we come back.”
you faltered and visibly frowned at the thought, yuta picking up on it and quickly fixing his demeanor.
“oh— but it’s okay! it’s fine!” he delicately patted the top of your head. “i’m sure he’ll forgive us… and maybe he’ll wake up before we leave?”
“hopefully…” you sighed softly through your nose, a little grin growing on your lips. “what if i just— start tapping on the glass to wake him up?”
yuta laughed and shook his head. “baby that’s something i would do don’t do that.”
he brought you in by the arm around your shoulders and squeezed you lovingly into his chest.
“you’re hanging out with me too much…”
“well duh.” you giggled. “is this your way of saying you wanna cut back?—”
“oh what the!?—” his eyes whipped in your direction, frantically shaking his head side to side. “i’d actually rather give up my dumb frat position than do that flower.”
you gasped then, jaw running slack.
“yu it’s not dumb, and don’t gamble with things like that for me either… you work really hard for the status you have and i would hate to be the reason it goes away.”
that was the main concern you had when you first started dating yuta, and shamefully still a concern now actually… because throughout the year yuta spent trying to win you over and prove to you that he wasn’t a player, hot headed and awful anymore, something that you were so incredibly touched over and impressed about and so fucking happy that he did without you even having to ask— the worry of you being the cause of his depleting reputation because of your status never went away regardless, and it quickly bubbled up in your mind as soon as you saw the disgruntled reactions of his crowd.
and you normally wouldn’t care about things like that, the rumors and gossip that took no time at all to surface easily thrown to the back of your head because of yuta… for he was everything you’d ever wanted and more as he continued to shower you in that same amount of love, affection, and attention that he gave you when you first had met.
yuta's kind reassurance of the rumors and for you to pay them no mind wasn’t entirely necessary to you either, due to the fact that you adored his silly jokes and flamboyant frat boy behavior so much and loved him so much that you simply just didn’t need it.
at first.
until you started noticing that yuta never… initiated things with you past kissing or making out throughout your first year together.
but it’s not like you ever did either— your frustratingly timid and shy personality never allowed you to even utter a peep of suggestion about it no matter how much you wanted to take things further, though intimate things like that weren’t a deal breaker nor was it of great importance to you anyways, as just spending time with him was more than enough and all you wanted and needed… except—
you’d seen the way yuta was with girls before you.
so why was it so easy for him to be intimate with them and not with— you?
and they never needed to ask either…
“flower?”
“huh?” you jumped slightly, your eyes shooting up and meeting a concerned faced yuta.
“you okay?” he blinked. “did you… hear what i said?”
“oh! i’m sorry yu i didn’t…” you peered up at him shyly with pinky cheeks, your bashful look spurring his little heart on as he gave you a smile and quickly pecked your forehead.
“that’s okay! i just said you’d never be the reason for something like that baby…” he smoothed a hand down the back of your hair, mind a little preoccupied by how silky it felt. “and i don’t care if it goes away either. also buddy’s awake.”
you perked up, eyes immediately darting to his former sleeping place and seeing him now fluttering his furry wings, gradually stretching and moving his little limbs before hopping down from his rock and waddling, both you and yuta funnily gushing and waving your arms around to try and catch the birds attention, yet undoubtedly looking absolutely insane to the rest of the guests around you as you both hopped and flailed around.
“buddy!” yuta whisper-yelled. “hey! look look!”
you giggled as he jumped up and down then with floundering arms, his car keys that were hooked through his belt loop jingling with every hop along with the charms on your purse, your hand flying to your mouth then to stifle your laughter once you noticed the odd stares parents were shooting at him as they passed by, their gawking children clinging to their coats and sleeves.
“yu!” you spoke in between hiccups of laughter. “i think— you’re scaring the kids—”
“oh!—” he froze, hands still up in the air as he looked side to side over his shoulders, a sheepish smile creeping on his face once he realized that he was in fact eliciting bewildered glances and judgmental stares, his arms coming down immediately after as he peeked over at you with blushing cheeks.
“oh man...” he laughed, completely fucking embarrassed and scratching the back of his neck. “how much of a stupid idiot did i just look right now…”
you quickly shook your head and giggled some more, standing up on your tippy toes to plant a sweet kiss to his rosy cheek.
“i was doing the same thing yu it’s okay!” you cutely smiled, your eyes switching back to the habitat in front of you, pointing. “it got buddy’s attention though!”
the chubby bird excitedly flapped its wings before trodding over to where the both of you stood, you gushing and cooing as he hopped over pebbles and moved through other stubby penguins just to get where the two of you stood behind the barrier, the penguin tilting its little head to and fro in curiosity as he peered at you both.
“hey little man!” yuta grinned, bending down a bit and placing his palm flat on the glass, you doing the same as you leaned closer to get a better look at the bird. “you okay?”
you sent a tiny wave to the penguin, him flapping out his wings again in return and waddling even closer to the glass, you softly gasping and head snapping up to your boyfriend.
“i think—” your wide eyes shifted back to buddy. “i think he does recognize us…”
“that’s what i’ve been saying flower!” yuta laughed boyishly, swinging an arm over to place a hand on your waist, giving it an affectionate squeeze. “i know i’m a dummy dumb but never about buddy.”
you snorted and gently nudged his side with your shoulder. “you’re not a dummy dumb baby don’t be silly.”
“kay!” yuta funnily cheesed, leaning down to press a quick peck to your cheek before turning his attention back to buddy, the penguin oddly now excessively fluttering its wings and puffing up its chest over your interaction, honking and squawking more than usual as it waddled over to your side now instead of yuta’s.
“wha—” your boyfriend gawked, eyes narrowing at buddy. “what i can’t kiss my girlfriend? why not?”
buddy honked again and hopped in place on its little feet, yuta’s eyes only growing further into slits.
“what?” you giggled. “what’s wro— mpf!”
he cupped your cheeks and mushed your lips with his, buddy letting out a loud string of honks and squawking through the other side of the glass as yuta basically tongued you down, your cheeks instantly heating up at the random raunchy display of public affection.
he came off your lips with a smack and looked to the penguin again, his eyes then widening at the distressed state buddy was presumably in, jaw hanging open and frantic gaze switching to yours.
“buddy wants my girlfriend…”
“huh?!” you laughed. “yu he’s—”
“you think i’m gonna let you in my frat now little man?” yuta let your face go and threw his hands up. “you were my second in command!”
“baby he’s a penguin what are you on about—”
“yeah a penguin that wants my girlfriend.” he mumbled, crossing his arms and bitterly looking off to the side. “i feel betrayed.”
you giggled, cheeks buzzing and pink as you reached up and patted the top of his head.
“c’mon yu let’s go it’s okay.” you interlaced your fingers with his and gently tugged him with you. “let’s go get something to eat—”
yuta pointed to buddy as you pulled him away.
“you’re out of the frat.”
“yuta!”
“what?!”
a total of ten more minutes was spent of you trying to drag him out of the exhibit and him still picking a fight— yuta in utter disbelief that buddy backstabbed him and wanted the same woman he did, him sulking and muttering the entire way to the sandwich shop to pick up lunch, you laughing at his silly behavior as you led him through the aquarium corridors and pathways to go to the flower exhibit, that being yours and yuta’s usual munching spot ever since you first came to the aquarium at the start of your relationship.
and although visiting the aquarium was something you both always did— specifically on a weekly basis and multiple times throughout it… the two of you loved it, especially yuta, for he was content in doing absolutely anything with you just so long as you were having fun and happy and with him, your regular endeavors of touching jellyfish, seeing buddy (even though he was currently on probation), and buying lunch at the usual deli spot next to the aquarium was something he loved and floored over just like you did, a thing he looked forward to everyday and unabashedly texted you constantly to see if you were up for another trip to your little usual spot.
but that’s precisely how yuta neglected to see how he was unawarely making you second guess yourself— your needs, because due to the fact that he was the happiest man alive by just your presence alone and didn’t need anything else, he failed to catch your disappointed frowns or taken aback blinking eyes when he rejected your shy little advances at a little something more than just a smoochie smooch, advances that were so humiliatingly tiny and fleeting that you never blamed him for missing them in the first place, and only blamed yourself for not being more obvious, frustrated for being upset over something like intimacy when it shouldn’t be on your mind as much as it was.
“did you want the same thing baby?” yuta asked, speaking over his shoulder with a little smile as you stood behind him. “or something different?”
“the same thing is fine!” you sweetly replied. “oh! but can i do curly fries with it instead of chips? if that’s okay?”
yuta laughed at your apprehensiveness, placing a hand on the back of your head and bringing you in to press a kiss to your forehead, fingers carding gently through your hair after.
“you don’t have to ask like that flower you know that.” he grinned, his hand moving from your hair to the side of your face, thumb softly caressing your pretty cheek. “whatever you need is always okay.”
you blushed, lips pursing shyly to the side as you nodded and thanked him gratefully, yuta shining another kind smile your way before dropping his hand and stepping forward to the cash register to order and pay— two delicious and stuffed deli sandwiches with chosen sides ready at the pick up counter within minutes.
the bag of food crinkled underneath yuta’s arm as he held it up against his chest, the other extending an offering hand out for you that you quickly took in response, the both of you leaving the deli shop and blissfully walking the familiar path towards the flower exhibit like muscle memory.
“let me have my bag yu, i feel bad that you’re carrying all of that yourself…” you spoke worriedly, arm already lifting for the strap on his shoulder.
“i’m alright!” he chirped, shoulder purposely moving away from your trying grasp as you passed through the entrance of the greenhouse— the complex fumigated with lovely mixtures of different floral scents that filled your nostrils as you walked through. “don’t worry flower it’s fine.”
you quirked a brow, a defiant hand reaching out for your bag anyways but it only met with yuta jerking his shoulder away from you again.
“yu!” you laughed, both hands now reaching out repeatedly and him playfully dodging every attempt you made, cute boyish snickers slipping past his lips as he moved quickly to avoid your grabbing fingers. “please you’ve been carrying it all day let me help you—”
yuta swiveled away from you and turned, him walking backwards as your purse jingled on the other side of him and unreachable from where you stood.
“nope!” he shook his head side to side. “but thank you baby! you’re sweet.”
you shot him a lighthearted glare.
“i’ll leave you for buddy if you don’t give me my purse—”
his jaw dramatically dropped and you giggled, a scoff leaving his open mouth as his eyes narrowed.
“now he’s done it.” you both stopped at your usual spot— a pretty little emerald green bench that sat underneath various potted voluminous flowers, hanging from the ceiling from chains and providing cooling shade from the slight sunny warmth of the greenhouse. “he’s gone behind my back and wooed you.”
you laughed, taking a seat with him as he set the bag of food in between the two of you.
“he ‘wooed’ me ever since we first met him silly.” you teased, reaching inside the bag and pulling out yuta’s sandwich, unraveling it from it’s wrapping for him before carefully passing it over. “he’s a cutie.”
he pouted, taking his food and setting it down on his lap. “and you don’t think i am?”
your cheeks heated at the cute face he was making, grabbing your own sandwich and unfolding the wrapping.
“buddy’s not president of a frat.” yuta spoke through a mouthful of his deli. “buddy didn’t try to win you over for a year straight. i did.”
you giggled, resting your head on his shoulder as you plopped a curly fry in your mouth.
“that’s very true.” you hummed. “but buddy did try to share his lunch with me that one time, remember? his fishy?”
yuta swallowed, looking down at you then and smiling fondly.
“you’re right he did.” he craned his neck and took the curly fry you were offering for him in between his teeth, chewing after. “i can’t compete with that can i?”
“nuh uh.” you grinned. “sorry yu! maybe if you give me a fish of your own i’ll reconsider hehe.”
he laughed loudly and kissed the top of your head.
“i can do that!” he spoke smugly. “shit i’ll give you five fish instead of just one. i bet buddy can’t do that.”
you giggled again and lifted your head up from his shoulder, carefully grabbing your deli and taking a bite out of it, plopping another curly fry into your mouth after to chew simultaneously.
“deal!” you chirped. “i’ll be waiting for my five fishies then.”
“but do i get something in return?” he smiled brightly, the suggestive tone in his voice making your face heat up and your heart simmer up with hope, you gnawing on the inside of your cheek as you tried to fucking calm yourself and not jump to conclusions.
“like what?” you asked, ever so cutely tilting your head to the side that it made yuta’s cheeks heat up.
“likeeee…” he looked up in giddy thought. “like you—”
a blaring ring cut through the tranquil atmosphere of the greenhouse, yuta dropping his sandwich on his lap and huffing as he dug through his pockets for his phone, him pulling it out and checking the caller i.d. before rolling his eyes and setting his sandwich down on the open bench space next to him, standing.
“i’m sorry baby it’s one of the guys…” he sighed, slight agitation in his chest as he diverted his attention to your pretty face. “i’m just gonna check what he wants really quick… is that okay?”
you frantically nodded and waved him off. “yes! yes yu that’s totally okay don’t worry! take your time.”
he gave you a soft smile, leaning down and pressing a kiss to your cheek, stepping away.
“i’ll be back!” he called over his shoulder as he walked, quickly answering the call after and pressing the phone to his ear, striding a short distance away from you.
“what man?”
you laughed at his grumbling as you heard it from afar, you already used to him frequently taking calls from the boys in his frat about upcoming events, expenses and member behaviors— not minding one single bit every time he had to step away for a moment to take care of issues, because you knew and wholeheartedly understood that his role was the most prestigious and demanding responsibility in his life at the moment, your heart warming at how apologetic he was each time he was forced to take a call… and you more worried about him and how stressed out he must be about having to basically babysit and watch over 35 different men and take care of their fuck ups.
“oh my god…” you heard him mumble, taking a bite out of your sandwich as you curiously listened in on the call. “why would he do that?”
your brows slightly furrowed in concern, a little anxious as you watched the way he rubbed a hand over his forehead exhaustedly.
“this is the second time he’s done this and i’m gonna get marked for his stupid shit again.”
marked?
you’d heard yuta use that phrase before… but the logistics of it you still didn’t really get nor remember clearly from what he had told you previously, the only thing you could really recall was that he’d already been marked once in the past.
he heavily sighed.
“no… no— tell him he’s banned from leaving the frat until i get there later tonight i’m serious. he can’t leave.”
yuta slowly started making his way back over to you, his eyes to the ground as he held the phone up against his ear.
“alright… thanks for calling. make an announcement to the rest of the boys that i’m holding a meeting when i get there please.”
you heard him bid his final goodbye’s before hanging up the phone, him stuffing it back in his pocket and lifting his other hand, scratching the back of his neck in irritating thought as you watched him come over, wide eyed.
“what happened?” you asked softly, gaze following him closely as he slumped down next to you on the bench with crossed arms, his brows pinched together.
“hm?” his eyes flickered to yours. “oh nothing flower… the VP just called me about some frat stuff.”
he made it seem like it was nothing, but the bouncing of his knee and the way he used his index finger to pick at the skin around the nail of his thumb… told you otherwise.
“yu…”
“yeah?”
you reached over and untangled his crossed arms, gently taking the hand he was picking at in yours to stop him from doing it, an anxious expression on your face.
“what does marked mean? and who’s banned from leaving the frat?”
an amused smile slowly spread across his lips, his grip on your hand tightening earnestly.
“you being nosy baby?”
you blushed.
“sorry!” you blurted. “i didn’t mean to… you just looked really upset so i got worried.”
he shook his head, bringing your interlocked hands up to kiss the back of yours.
“i’m just teasing flower it’s okay.” he spoke quietly, a weird far-off look to his eyes as he stared down at your hands, the gnawing feeling in your chest only growing the longer he sat there without saying anything to you— a pinch between his brows.
“what’s wrong?” you tenderly squeezed his hand. “are the guys okay?”
“they’re being baboons.” he heavily exhaled, annoyed. “do you remember toma?”
“toma?” you tilted your head. “the one who started a fight with that other frat?”
“yeah, him.” he picked a curly fry from the food on your lap and took a bite. “he went back to their house with a few other guys and threw bricks at their windows.”
you gasped.
“and they lit off a firework inside.”
a hand flew over your mouth, your eyes blown fucking wide as yuta continued to irritably shove curly fries in his mouth.
“and the fucked up part is, is that i’m gonna be the one that eats shit from it by administration.” he continued, swallowing and bitterly shaking his head. “i really shouldn’t have let toma off easy from last time…”
“but why would you get in trouble yu?” you asked. “you didn’t do anything it was toma.”
he looked at you a little sadly, but more stressed out than anything.
“because i’m president baby…” he let go of your hand and picked up his sandwich. “i’m responsible for whatever they do and go down with them if they mess up. that’s what being marked means.”
you frowned, feeling totally annoyed at toma for being such a selfish stupid idiot for what he did, but feeling more agitated over the fact that yuta always seemed to get the short end of the stick when it came to their mishaps just because he was president, when all he’s ever actually done for the frat is keep them out of trouble and amicably successful, it’s level of popularity and recognition one the previous president failed at as yuta had thousands of applications each year with new brothers trying to enroll.
“toma’s a freshman so… i get it, but—” he took a small bite of his sandwich and spoke through a mouthful. “he’s fucking stupid.”
you giggled softly, leaning back on the bench and crossing your arms before speaking.
“what’s gonna happen with you and administration?”
“depends on how much that other frat complains.” he swallowed. “it’s destruction of property and basically almost killing someone with that firework… so i could be expelled. and toma.”
you froze, your head whipping in his direction and you baffled at the way yuta continued to chow down on his sandwich like he didn’t just say something like that.
“are you kidding me?” you breathed out. “expulsion?”
“that or i lose my position.”
and yuta still didn’t show any signs of fear or anger as he stole more curly fries from your lap… but you on the other hand… were freaking the fuck out.
“yu oh my god—” you placed an exasperated hand over your forehead, chest ragged as you thought of all of the things yuta could lose when he worked so fucking hard to get them throughout his entire college career.
“there— there has to be some kind of appeal we can do maybe— maybe if we get the rest of your guys to back you up it could be just toma getting expelled or—”
yuta slowed his chewing and looked your way, an expression of endearment crossing his face over how much you cared about him and his life, a little laugh escaping past his lips.
“it’s okay flower… don’t worry.” he reached up and placed a flat hand on top of your head. “i’m on good terms with administration so they won’t do anything like that.”
“how do you know though?” you murmured, eyes falling to your lap. “toma committed a crime yuta. i don’t think they’ll let you guys off that easy.”
his hand slid from your head down to cup under your jaw, gently lifting your face to look at him.
“i’ll handle it… okay?” he pushed softly. “don’t stress yourself over my frat stuff baby it’s not good for you.”
he leaned and placed a cute peck to your lips, letting your jaw go after and smiling at the blush on your cheeks.
“the most they’ll do is put us both on social probation or give us a warning… but either way i’m personally putting toma on social probation for being a fucking airhead.”
“social probation?” you softly spoke. “what’s that?”
yuta felt a sense of pride for himself every time you asked him about specifics on frat boy terms or rules, it being the only thing that he could really teach you and help you learn as he was a dummy dumb and didn’t know much about anything else, a complete contrast from your smarts and knowledge that he loved to drink up any time you told him special facts, or explained to him things he didn’t get (and would sometimes pretend he did when he actually didn’t to save himself the embarrassment…).
so whenever the opportunity came up of your sweet shy voice asking him about his fraternity? he was absolutely floored.
“we basically can’t host parties or events for some time.” he explained. “i try my best to never land our frat in social probation because it fucks up our relevancy… we basically go dead for a bit and other frats or sororities forget about us until we host the next event.”
“what?!— that’s bad tooo!” you whined, a hand flying over your forehead again as your brain tried to come up with ways to avoid this in addition to the potential expulsion, yuta only laughing and wrapping a hand around your lifted wrist.
“baby no— it’s okay!” he spoke between giggles, lowering your arm. “its really not that bad… i want social probation.”
“why the hell would you want that?” you pouted.
“because i get to spend more time with you.” he grinned, a big and shiny one too as he quickly smooched your cute cheek and leaned back on the bench, shoving the rest of his sandwich in his mouth. “i won’t have to spend time organizing parties or events and instead hang out with you flower.”
your heart fluttered on fucking overdrive in your chest, you shyly looking away then and mirroring him by leaning back on the bench, a silly smile on your face.
“more time to visit buddy too?”
“no.” he spoke firmly, and you giggled. “i put buddy on social probation we can’t go see him.”
you giggled some more with a hand over your mouth, yuta looking at you with hearts in his eyes as his ears greedily swallowed down your precious laughter to commit to memory, him reminded once again of how much of a sweetheart you were— but also of how easy it was for a man like him to lose you entirely because of his social stance and the people that he was surrounded with.
and at the thought of that, yuta subconsciously reached over and wrapped his arms around your waist, slowly pulling you snug and flush against his body as his insecurities overtook his thoughts for a moment.
“yu?” you snaked your arms around his neck and embraced him back, your brows furrowing. “are you okay? what’s wrong?”
“i’m fine.” he replied simply, but his hold on you only tightened.
you frowned.
“are you finally worried about what administration’s gonna do?”
he snorted and shook his head against your shoulder.
“fuck no.” he pulled back just enough to plant a kiss on your forehead. “i don’t care what they do flower… and you shouldn’t either okay?”
he was worried about driving you away.
and it wasn’t too often when his mind drifted to the thought, but it happened often enough that it sometimes kept him up at night on particularly bad days, and especially when he happened to catch another rumor about either of you that made him hope with everything he had that you didn’t end up catching it too.
but you always did. and you kept it to yourself that you did.
but funnily enough, it was like you and yuta were sitting pretty on a see saw and the stupid metal thing switched positions to you being the one at the top instead of him— you now lost in your thoughts as he remained grounded and okay, driving you home at the end of the day after your aquarium date with your hands folded tightly over your lap, silent as the quiet murmur of his car radio filled the air.
maybe if you just— sort of made a move now… yuta would get the hint? and maybe something intimate would finally happen? … maybe?
you anxiously gnawed at your bottom lip and stared out the window, swallowing down your nerves as you tried to come up with a way to instill something steamier between the two of you for the time being, and a way that wasn’t out of your comfort zone either as you were too pathetically shy to try something obvious.
but you knew that either way… you had to just— attempt it.
“oh! your parents aren’t home baby.”
you snapped out of your thoughts and looked up, your parents car sure enough not in the driveway as yuta pulled in, your heart hammering in your rib cage as you took that as a definitive sign to initiate something with him in the best way you knew how.
“do you wanna…” you pursed your lips. “do you wanna come in? for a little bit?”
he unknowingly beamed and nodded. “yeah! i do flower.”
you let out a nervous breath and nodded, hands shakily opening the passenger side door and you both stepping out of the car, shutting them behind you before beginning to walk up the path to your front door, you getting your keys out to unlock it and pushing it open once you did.
yuta had been to your house plenty of times before already, but your parents were always home.
this is the first time he was over where they weren’t.
“do you want something to drink?” you asked sweetly, him walking over and plopping down on your living room couch. “like… like soda? or beer? i think my dad just bought a pack—”
“oh no it’s okay!” he patted the spot next to him. “just sit with me baby.”
butterflies swarmed in your stomach as you nodded, nervously walking to the couch then and sitting down next to him.
“do you have a lot of homework for tonight?” yuta gently placed an arm around your shoulders. “i won’t stay too long if you do so you can do it.”
you quickly shook your head.
“no! no i don’t have any. you can stay as long as you want.”
he grinned.
“sweet!”
his handsome face sent another wave of nerves and need through your body as you breathed in deeply through your nose, your hands going cold over how anxious you were.
“tomorrow we should—”
you grabbed his face and brought him down, shoving your lips to his and cutting him off as his eyes blew wide, his cheeks immediately growing a bright shade of red while you kissed him in such a way that you’ve never ever done before, yuta’s palms quickly clamming up as he tried to simmer down the nasty thoughts that flew through his mind then.
why did he always have to be such a whore?
your hands slid down and around his neck before he even had time to think, his flying to your waist as smooching wet noises from your moving lips only fueled the fire and had him breathing erratically, knowing he was so fucking fucked if he didn’t put an end to this now.
“flower—”
you muffled his attempt with your god sent kisses, the way you were so aggressive with it shooting blood straight to his cock and causing him to completely miss the way you pulled him on top of you down on the couch, your pretty plush thighs around his waist making him choke against your mouth and force himself off of you without another second.
“w—what?” you drew your hands back against your chest, fearing that you did something wrong as he stared down at you with swollen lips and a heaving chest, his back upright.
“i—” he wiped his wet mouth with the back of his hand, shaking his head and trying to look at anything but the sight of you under him and the way your legs were spread around him.
“nothing! heh!” he laughed nervously, bashfully scratching the back of his neck as he moved away and created distance between you both, failing at catching the hurt flashing through your eyes.
you felt like you did something wrong.
“s—sorry if i squished you or—”
“no!” he blurted. “no you didn’t. it’s okay.”
then what?
you shyly tried to lean in again to continue, when yuta suddenly sprang up from the couch and stepped back, the abruptness of it making you flinch and stare at him wide eyed.
yuta needed to take a breather now before he ended up stripping you naked and— and hurting you…
but unaware of the fact that he already did.
“i’m gonna—” he struggled. “i’m gonna call one of the guys.”
what?
“i’ll be outside.”
“yu—”
he hastily walked to the front door and opened it before he stepped out, quickly closing it behind him and cutting you off, leaving you dumbfounded as you slowly sat up in silence and thinking you had done something wrong… you were sure of it.
horrifying embarrassment flooded your entire being then as you tried to blink back tears, feeling like a total loser and awful that you didn’t know how to properly initiate anything with him, you growing a little sick over the fleeting reminder of his past rendezvous and other girls doing it so successfully… that you were ashamed of yourself for being unable to do something as simple as fucking make out with him.
you quickly wiped the little tears that managed to slip from your eyes and stood, unsure if you even wanted to see him now because of your pathetic mess up, your desperate gaze searching around the kitchen for something to do to take your mind off of it as you walked over, your line of sight landing on the small pile of dishes left by your parents and you immediately going towards the sink— turning the faucet on.
a couple of more minutes passed before you eventually heard the front door open and click shut, your heart rate fucking escalating and feeling mortified again as footsteps came up from behind you, your eyes literally gorilla glued down to the dishes you were washing.
“the boys are killing each other right now.” yuta sighed, leaning against the counter next to you with his arms crossed. “the VP told me they’re divided in half trying to see if they should kill toma or not.”
you laughed softly, rinsing off a small glass cup under the running warm water and thankful that your hair was blocking your view of him.
“i thought they would all want to kill him for what he did.” you spoke.
“most of them do!” he slid closer. “but some of them think it’s funny… and the others are losing it over landing in social probation.”
you hummed, setting each rinsed off dish carefully on the rack next to you as you went.
“what about toma? do you know if he regrets—”
you stiffened at the feeling of yuta taking your hair in between his fingers and gently pulling back, brushing it behind your ear as you finally made eye contact with him, yuta shooting you a breathtaking smile— one that was so fucking contagious that you couldn’t help but reciprocate.
“sorry baby… i didn’t mean to cut you off.” he leaned back and crossed his arms again. “i couldn’t see you.”
you shook your head, standing on your tippy toes and pressing a sweet kiss to his cheek.
“no it’s okay!”
yuta had the power of having anyone and anything on their knees and at his feet with simply just a look of his godly face, and whether he knew it or not you weren’t sure of— only that the population of anyone and anything included you as well, for the minute he smiled at you in the way that he always did, you forgot entirely the shame and embarrassment you were shitting yourself over from the events prior.
though yuta did know…. he’d always known. but he stopped giving a fuck about it from the moment he met you— the only person he wanted by his side and the only opinion he cared about and strove to please, completely disregarding anyone else and putting you first above anything in his life, including his fraternity, him never listening when you fought him about it and told him he shouldn’t do that, because he felt as if he definitely should.
always and without fail.
“i feel bad keeping you here though if they’re having a full blown melt down over there...” you smiled sheepishly. “you should be there with them yu.”
he pouted.
“but what if i said i didn’t want to?” he quipped, tilting his head. “hm?”
you shot him a look, and he sighed, shoulders dropping.
“i know…” he took a step towards you and swung his arms around your shoulders from behind, mushing his cheek against the side of your head as you continued to wash dishes. “the VP was literally crying on the fucking phone and i couldn’t hear him well over the yelling in the back.”
you laughed, picturing the silly vision of a bunch of frat boys arguing and fighting over not being able to throw parties or go to events for a while, it probably seeming like the end of the world for them if they’re not able to interact with other sorority girls, and living instead on what felt like a dead deserted island devoid of alcohol and beer pong until yuta came to be the saving grace and lift their violations.
drying your hands on a nearby kitchen towel, you turned around in yuta’s hold and gave him a cute smile.
“go baby.” you pushed softly. “they need their papa.”
he playfully rolled his eyes.
“they’re full grown men and yet i still have to teach some of them how to do their laundry.”
you quirked a brow.
“didn’t i show you how to do that?”
“…no.”
you burst out laughing again at the embarrassed and flushed look on his face, his eyes darting away from yours and looking off to the side.
you craned your neck to kiss the tip of his pink nose and grinned, his gaze shifting back to you with a slow smile spreading across his lips.
“i’ll see you tomorrow.” you spoke gently. “and keep me updated on what happens when you get there okay?”
“mkay.” he loosened his hold on you and stepped a bit back, you affectionately squeezing his side as he did. “i’ll call you tonight if i make it out alive.”
you giggled, nodding as he released you entirely and began walking over to your front door, you following closely behind and opening it for him once you both got there.
“bye flower!” he leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to your lips. “i love you.”
you shyly smiled and leaned against the side of the door as he stepped out.
“i love you too yuuuu.”
he stopped and turned his head to look at you from over his shoulder, sheepishly pursing his lips.
“can i just stay—”
“no!” you laughed, extending an arm and gently nudging him away by the shoulder. “go silly…. your frat’s gonna end up in flames if you don’t.”
yuta chuckled, knowing you were funnily actually correct and not over exaggerating in the slightest, the two of you well aware that his fraternity brothers had the tendency to be a bunch of reckless morons if he wasn’t there to guide them or make sure they weren’t stepping over the line.
and sometimes… (almost always though), he wished he could stop everyone in his damn college campus from stepping over the line like he could with his frat guys, their ridiculous and ludicrous rumors about his relationship with you never failing to set him off and make him anxious that you’ll worry your precious mind over it and believe them.
yuta tried to keep you away from that as much as he possibly could.
anytime you both took strolls throughout campus, or decided to visit that nice little student run bakery that you loved so much every morning, if he ever saw someone— anyone that was in his circle, that he knew for a fact had insinuated those rumors, or if they simply just had a nasty fucking attitude and he didn’t want you to get caught in the middle of it, he would gently steer you the other way with a hand around your shoulders and a loving little smile on his face, shielding you from a world of undeserving popularity, dishonesty, and calculated disingenuous foolery that only served to benefit the wrong people.
and yet still… all of that was his world after all.
and yuta couldn’t shield you from everything.
“who? yuta okkotsu?”
your ears perked up, gaze flickering from your notebook up to the two girls that sat in front of you during your afternoon lecture, pencil stilling in your hand.
“yeah him! the one that got with layla a while back.”
layla?
you pursed your lips in distaste, sighing a little through your nose and shifting your attention back to your notes, feeling a little silly for being bitter over a girl yuta got with before you.
but he got with her nonetheless… something he still hadn’t done with you.
“oh to be her…” one of them sadly sighed. “i would give anything to get dicked down by him.”
your jaw silently dropped, not knowing whether you should be bothered by that statement or laugh.
“i heard he has a girlfriend now though.” the other spoke.
“hah?! who?”
“dunno.” she shrugged. “someone told me it’s some nerdy girl that’s in the same year as him. she’s really easy to miss.”
you internally rolled your eyes and lightly pushed your notebook to the side, deciding to divert your attention towards your laptop screen instead.
“you’re fucking joking right?”
“nope!”
“that’s such a waste.” she expressed. “why would he be with that when he could be with layla? everybody wants layla shit— even i want layla sometimes.”
“you’re such a bitch!” her other friend cackled and smacked her arm. “but no yeah… i give it a year max. i heard he doesn’t whore around anymore, but considering how long he chased after me for a quick fuck? there’s no way he’s suddenly just— a saint.”
“do you regret rejecting him?”
“yes oh my god— i was trying to be mysterious and different but he ended up just fucking someone else that same night—”
you hadn’t noticed how hard you were gripping your pencil until a cramping pain shot through your knuckles, you instantly relaxing and setting it softly off to the side.
“fuck! you know what?” one of them jumped up excitedly. “i actually heard he’s still seeing layla!”
the other gasped. “you’re lying!”
“no i’m not i swear!” she snatched her phone from the desk and frantically typed away. “ricky— you know ricky? he said one of layla’s close friends spilled that they talk so much and meet up sometimes to fuck—”
“stooop his poor girlfriend! oh my god someone needs to tell her—”
you slammed your laptop shut and stood, you never one to skip out on lectures or leave early but not giving a single fuck at the moment as you packed up, physically unable to hear anything else and feeling straight up nauseous at everything they were saying, drowning out the rest of their rambling as you swung your bag over your shoulder and pushed your chair in, walking out of class and leaving your lecture hall as a whole.
they’re just rumors.
they’re just two bitches with nothing better to do and were weirdly obsessed with your boyfriend's personal business.
yuta would never do that to you…
but was he— was he that obsessed with layla before you? and did he seriously fuck around with every girl he could possibly get his hands on?
so what was so different about you? his actual girlfriend?
“flower?”
you stiffened, eyes snapping up from the floor and landing on a surprised looking yuta, waiting for you by your class like he always did.
“you’re out of class already?” he tapped on his phone to wake it up. “it doesn’t end for another thirty minutes i was gonna go get my car from the parking lot to get you—”
you hated yourself for feeling like he was the last person you wanted to see… but you just couldn’t help it.
“i left.”
your simple quiet reply took him a bit off guard.
“you left?” he tilted his head. “but you never leave class early… are you feeling a little rebellious today baby?”
he smiled big and expected a pretty giggle from you at his teasing then— but he got nothing.
your face was still stoic, and with a small pinch in between your brows.
“mhm.”
his smile wavered.
“o—okay…” he put his phone back in his pocket. “well— the boys are organizing for our fundraising event… and i— i was gonna ask if you could help me with our booth banner and decorations baby? everything we made looks like chicken scratch and you have pretty handwriting…”
your heart clenched so fucking hard in your chest, wanting to say yes with everything in you, but the annoying stupid gossip from earlier soliciting bitter jealousy in your mind that unfortunately overpowered everything else.
“i’m sorry yu…” you mumbled, eyes looking away. “i don’t feel that great today so i’m just gonna go home. i’ll help tomorrow though if that’s alright.”
“oh— you don’t feel good?” yuta frowned, stepping closer. “what’s wrong?”
yuta caught the way you took a step back, and he blinked.
“i just feel nauseous is all.” you weakly smiled. “i’m gonna go home for the day and hopefully feel better in the morning.”
you felt nauseous?
“what did you eat today? let me take you to get some meds—”
he tried to place a soothing hand on your back, but the way you moved away from him again set off a thousand blaring alarms in his head.
“i—it’s okay!” you stammered, hugging yourself and starting to walk in the opposite direction towards the parking lot. “i’m just gonna head home yu i’ll text you—”
“flower wait—”
yuta quickly caught your hand, his eyes flooded in absolute worry and confusion as he looked at you.
you were never like this with him.
and— and any time you were sick you always wanted to be with him to let him take care of you.
“what yu?” you mumbled, your sad gaze finally dragging up to look at him in the eyes.
“baby what’s wrong?” he asked softly. “i feel like it’s something else.”
you bit down on the inside of your cheek.
“i just feel nauseous.”
“well then come to my frat okay? you can— you can take a nap in my room and i think i have some nausea meds somewhere—”
his grip on your hand tightened a little.
“or maybe we can take a walk somewhere and that’ll help? like at the aquarium? we can visit buddy—”
yuta’s frantic blubbering to try to get you to stay with him sent a shooting pang of guilt through your chest, it breaking you from that weird and awful headspace you were in as your eyes softened.
you shamefully realized then that it really wasn’t fair you were treating him like this… especially because he quite literally didn’t do anything at all— you feeling silly and awful that you rejected his advances and were off with him when all he was trying to do was help you feel better.
the rumors and gossip was something that was completely out of his control… and you shouldn’t punish him for that.
you took a small step forward then, giving him a tiny hesitant smile.
“we can… go to your frat yu.”
he perked up.
“yeah?”
“yeah.”
you timidly reached up and softly slid your arms around his neck, yuta immediately responding by pulling your body snug against his with a squeeze, relieved that you agreed to come home with him and that you were letting him touch you again— pecking the side of your head before letting go and gently leading you to his car.
but the tight feeling in his chest didn’t go away.
it was nagging at him, and annoyingly so as he tried to dumb down his stupid insecurities and not overthink on the drive to his frat house, trying to settle himself with the reasoning you had told him and trying not to think about the way you kept dodging his hands, that you were just a little sick is all…
so then— why had you looked so upset?
and yuta’s turmoil only grew once he started to juggle the possibility of it being not something you felt, but something you heard.
a rumor.
“a woman! yuta brought a woman!”
“it’s y/n idiot.” yuta shot back to one of his frat brothers, sending you a playful eye roll as he closed the door behind you upon arrival.
“oh it is! hiii yyy/nnnn!” a different one spoke up, a handful of them huddled over a large table in the dining room with a sheet of white poster paper laying in the middle.
“hiii.” you shyly spoke, a sweet polite smile on your face that yuta swooned over as he placed an arm around your shoulders, leading you to the table.
“what the—” yuta’s eyes squinted over the poster paper as you slapped a hand over your mouth, stifling a laugh and your eyes darting over how horrid the layout design of the banner was for their fundraising event, your boyfriend not exaggerating in the slightest when he said it looked like chicken scratch.
men.
“how did you guys manage to make it worse?!” yuta exclaimed, loudly laughing as he leaned over the table and pointed at specific weird smudges and drawings. “i was only gone for an hour!”
you giggled and leaned over with him, some of the boys making room for you so you could properly take a peek at their so-called vigorous work, your amused eyes gazing over the messily painted bold black lettering and the odd random drawings of smiley faces and money.
yuta burst out laughing again.
“who the fuck drew this?!” he pointed to a specific drawing of a weirdly shaped stick man holding a tray of cookies, the smile on its face so cartoonishly huge and toothy that you had to bite down hard on your bottom lip to prevent yourself from laughing, not wanting to offend whoever it was that drew it.
“it was toma!” someone from the crowd spoke up.
“toma?!” yuta shook his head incredulously, scanning the faces of his brothers until they landed on an annoyingly familiar pair of eyes— the culprit hiding behind a few other guys and snickering.
“what?!” toma whined, stepping through the boys and crossing his arms. “i was trying to help out.”
this was the first time you’d properly seen toma up close (and meeting him altogether actually), you not particularly accustomed to him yet like the other guys since he was a freshman, him having just come in for the year and you not really knowing much about him besides from the stories yuta’s told you, your recollections of the shit he’s done and said making it obvious that toma was rowdy and reckless in nature.
“with that?” yuta laughed again. “why’s the mouth bigger than its own head?”
“because he’s happy.” toma shrugged, a playful little curl to his lips. “he’s just so jolly to be selling cookies at a fundraiser, and i wanted to show off my rare artistic talent for the frat!”
“oh yeah? that’s what you wanted?” yuta leaned his weight on the side of his hip. “draw me some cute pictures on a piece of paper then, i’ll put them on the fridge for you and your probation buttheads to see.”
several brothers snickered while toma slumped, a distressed look on his face.
“yuta please i helped out so you’d lift my probation!” he exclaimed, freezing and cowering under your boyfriends sudden glare. “…maybe?”
in regards to toma’s outbreak, administration ended up just giving yuta and his entire frat a warning upon him meeting with them last week, leaving it ultimately up to him to decide what he wanted to do with toma and the pack he led to the other frat house, and yuta keeping true to his word to you, put them all on a three month social probation with no fucks given.
“are you nuts?” yuta chuckled. “you’re looking for parole with a drawing like that?”
“your girlfriend likes it! look she’s laughing!” all eyes shot to you and you froze, your giggles instantly halting and a hand flying over your mouth.
“sorry! i don’t—”
yuta shot him another menacing glare, deadlier than the last one as he picked up a marker from the table and chucked it at toma, it landing right smack on his forehead and clattering to the ground, the rest of the boys boastfully laughing.
“i’ll tell yuta to make your probation four months if you don’t get out of my face right now.” the vice president spoke up, moving through the crowd until he reached the front.
yuta shrugged. “oh i was already gonna do that.”
“no! why?!” toma threw his hands up in desperation. “for what reason?! because of a drawing?!”
“it’s the only poster paper we have toma.” your boyfriend grumbled.
“and you’re not even supposed to be down here around the fundraising shit.” the vice president spat. “you’re supposed to be upstairs with the rest of your—”
“i came down ‘cause i was thirsty!—”
“you drew on the poster paper!—”
“yu.” you murmured through their continuous bickering and yelling— tugging on his shirt to try and get his attention, his eyes flickering to yours and head quickly coming down to listen.
“what happened baby?” his grip on your shoulder tightened a little. “is it your nausea?”
“oh! no i’m okay now!” you smiled. “i can do your guys’ fundraiser poster still, i’ll just flip it over to the blank side and work there.”
“aw flower that’s okay! not when you’re feeling a little sick...” he looked at you fondly, a kind half grin on his lips as he placed a flat palm on top of your head.
“no honestly i’m alright!” you quickly shook your head and looked towards the poster and the rest of the boys, them still fighting and blaming each other over nonsense that had to do with social probations, the ruined poster, and sorority girls— wanting to ease them a little in anyway you possibly could, as well as mentally make up for the stupid white lie you had told him earlier.
yuta’s hand slid from your head back down to your shoulder, apprehensive.
“are you— are you sure?” his eyes shifted to the poster. “i feel bad making you do the work i’m supposed to be doing…”
“you’re not making me do anything silly.” you reassured with a small laugh. “i wanna help yu… its really okay. honestly.”
a gradual beaming smile spread across his face then, the hand on your shoulder pulling you in and yuta pressing a big fat kiss to the side of your head, enamored by everything that you were as he leaned back and nodded gratefully, letting you go.
“thank you flower—”
“okkotsu these beasts are out of control.”
the vice president struggled through the moving pushy crowd to reach the both of you, looking so utterly pissed off and overwhelmed as he elbowed and shoved to get face to face with yuta, a tad bit out of breath.
“they’re freaking out over toma’s fuck up and now they somehow think the fundraiser’s fucked up and i actually do think we fucked up—”
“hey— it’s okay! relax.” yuta placed a hand on his shoulder. “why do you think that? we’re not—”
“because the posters fucked.” he huffed out, trying to even his breathing. “so then we look like the biggest shitheads at the fundraiser by default and everyone’s gonna buy the sorority girls cookies instead of ours so then we’re gonna be broke and we can’t throw parties without money— why are you laughing.”
yuta covered his mouth and shook his head.
“i’m not— sorry—”
“this is serious man my god!” he slapped yuta’s hand off his shoulder and glared. “they’re about to brawl over toma’s stupid drawing i can’t control them and you’re laughing?!”
his gaze quickly shifted to you.
“y/n he’s awful dear god help me—”
“alright okay— i’ll deal with them don’t worry.” your boyfriend looked at him pointedly. “you do that too much.”
“what, give a shit? my bad sir honestly my effing mistake—”
you giggled and yuta laughed at his sarcasm, lightheartedly shoving his shoulder.
“go to bed man you’ve been dealing with this all day.” he sent him a sympathetic smile. “y/n offered to do our poster and i’m gonna help so we’ll be done by morning—”
surprise crossed the vice president’s face, his eyes flickering to yours once more.
“actually?”
you nodded with a smile.
“oh thank god—” the color seemed to return to his face, him placing a hand on his chest and feeling relief wash over him as he looked at you, reciprocating your smile. “thank you y/n. seriously.”
“mhm! no problemmm.” you responded kindly. “but rest please. you’ll make yourself sick if you keep stressing like this…”
you’d lost count how many times you’d seen the vice president lose his shit over anything that had to do with the frat, it evidently obvious how much he cared for the boys and the fraternity despite his humorous verbal abuse— him being possibly the only brother in yuta’s frat that you respected and trusted out of anyone else in there, and often went to him whenever you had questions about their upcoming events or things in relation if yuta wasn’t available.
“alright.” the vice president sent you both a small smile before turning around to face the rowdy men-filled crowd, raising his hands up.
“okay away from the table! everybody leave and go to bed we have a fundraiser tomorrow! cabinet will deal with it just away— toma what the fuck are you still doing down here?!”
“i have to talk to yuta!” he whined. “you were hogging him the entire time.”
the crowd began to disperse as toma made his way forward.
“he’s not gonna lift your probation stupid.”
“i know!” he spat. “it’s about something else.”
yuta quirked a brow.
“something else?”
there was a devilish glint to his eyes, and yuta internally rolled his, turning to the vice president.
“it’s okay.” he placed a gentle palm on your lower back and softly ushered you forward. “can you show y/n where the materials are for the poster please? i’ll be there in a minute.”
the vice president nodded and smiled politely at you, beckoning you over to the table where the ruined poster lay, markers and paint brushes and little cups of paint scattered about in disarray as you approached.
yuta’s attention shifted to toma, crossing his arms.
“what is it? you alright?”
“are you cheating on your girlfriend?”
yuta froze, brows immediately pinching together.
“what?”
toma shrugged. “are you? it’s what i’ve been hearing.”
“hearing?” he stepped closer. “from who?”
“dunno. like— almost everyone. too much to say.”
yuta’s heart dropped.
who the fuck was saying that?
“no you moron i’m not.” he snapped. “but… if you can figure out who’s spreading it… i’ll— consider lifting your probation.”
toma lit up.
“will you?!”
“i said consider.”
yuta’s face was blank and cold, wanting to quickly put an end to the conversation as it was making him fucking queasy, nodding his head up towards the stairs.
had you heard this rumor?
“go up before the VP chews you out.”
“good idea!” toma flashed him a goofy thumbs up and scrambled away to his designated room, yuta shaking his head as he walked over to you and the vice president, his eyes cast down to the ground in pensive thought.
why couldn’t people just leave you and him alone?
“—and we literally only have blue, yellow, red, and green like the most rancid colors—”
“oh that’s okay!” you laughed. “they’re primary colors i can mix to make new ones if i need to.”
“great!” the VP smiled. “i’m going to bed.”
“go man.” yuta chuckled, patting a friendly hand to his back. “thank you again.”
he nodded and began making his way to the staircase, hopping up the steps.
“i’ll set up in the morning for the fundraiser and handle the guys!” yuta loudly mentioned. “will you just check attendance for me please?”
“yeah!” the vice president called out from down the hall, his voice gradually fading with each step until he was out of earshot, leaving just the two of you in the middle of the huge dim living room.
you looked to the poster and grabbed the ends then, flipping it over to the clean blank side and picking up a nearby spare pencil to begin sketching.
“i was thinking of writing your fraternity's name in calligraphy up here—” you pointed to a spot a little above center. “and then ‘cookie sale’ down here? do you like that?”
“sounds great flower!” yuta smiled big. “what’s calligraphy?”
you giggled, picking up a ruler and drawing a faint straight line across to make sure you weren’t going crooked as you went.
“it’s kind of like cursive but just a bit chunkier.” you explained softly, starting to sketch out the loopy lettering. “it looks really pretty on projects and advertisements.”
yuta hummed, peering over your shoulder from behind you as you worked.
“and then i was thinking of drawing little cookies floating around? and stars? or maybe—”
“you know i love you right?”
you stopped, shifting your body slightly in his direction to reveal an anxious looking yuta, worry splattered all over his face as he waited for your response.
was… he okay?—
“of course i d—”
“and you know i’d never do anything to hurt you right?”
you fully turned your body around now to properly face him, your eyes filled with concern as you put your pencil down.
“i do baby…” you softly replied. “are you okay? what’s wrong?”
yuta sighed through his nose and shook his head, placing his hands at the edge of the table on either sides of you, his head slumping down to gently rest against your forehead.
“nothing.” he muttered. “i just— think.”
“you just think?” you lifted your arms and slid them around his shoulders, giving him a little comforting squeeze. “about what… hm?”
“you.”
he was always thinking of you.
every morning, every evening, every night.
there wasn’t ever a time that yuta wasn’t thinking of you— of how you were, if you were feeling okay and if you’d gotten enough to eat in the morning… if you still loved him.
because unfortunately, there also wasn’t ever a time that yuta wasn’t thinking about the different ways he could lose you, since his past always seemed to come back to haunt him and damage the only good fucking thing remaining in his life, fearfully living on the edge and awfully insecure despite his reputation, one that was programmed for him to be thoughtless and careless and something he actually was once before.
but yuta wasn’t that person anymore.
except it still wasn’t enough.
“really?” a blush rose to your cheeks with a cheeky smile, you leaning back the tiniest bit. “and what about me yu?”
the corner of his lip quirked up— his face a little tired, but soft.
“how smart you are.” he spoke quietly. “and pretty. with pretty handwriting.”
you giggled, the sound filling yuta’s chest with warmth and the crinkles by your eyes making him stupidly swoon, bringing you in closer by the waist and pressing a delicate kiss to the tip of your nose.
“please tell me you know that.”
your brows furrowed a bit.
he’d never been this— serious with you before and stating things that were already the obvious, the way he clutched tighter at your waist and the sunken defeated expression he wore, was something that indefinitely alarmed you as your eyes quickly scoured over his features.
“yuta.”
his eyes flickered up to yours.
“yeah flower?”
“what’s wrong.” you pushed gently, your hands slipping down from his shoulders to cup his cheeks. “why are you telling me this?”
“because i need to.” his head slowly tilted, cheek leaning into your touch. “i need you to know.”
“but i do know.” you shook your head. “you’re telling me things i’ve known since we became friends yuta…”
he still didn’t look alleviated in the slightest by your words, and you frowned.
“remember earlier when you asked me what was wrong? after i’d left class early?”
he silently nodded against your hands.
“the way you felt then about wanting to know is how i feel now.” you explained. “i can tell when you’re thinking too much about something baby…”
he sighed deeply through his nose and his eyes fluttered shut.
he didn’t want to bombard you with his insecurities or make you feel like it was your job to pull him from those agitating depth full thoughts… and he didn’t want to make you feel responsible for any of it either.
it was all just— him.
and everybody on campus who didn’t know how to shut the fuck up too, for it made his overthinking worse.
“i’m scared i’m gonna mess up.” he admitted, laughing humorlessly. “and ruin what we’ve built.”
“huh?” your eyes slightly narrowed. “why do you say that?… you won’t—”
“the rumors flower…” he mumbled, head lifting from your hands. “everyone’s apparently waiting for me to fuck up just because they like who i used to be better.”
your eyes softened, palms coming down to rest flat against his chest as you listened.
“i hate that they can’t accept i’m with you… and i hate that i let them bother me so much.”
his hands and arms lifted from your waist to wrap around your head instead, caging you into his embrace.
“i hate that they talk about you.” he whispered in your hair. “i hate that i can’t do anything about it.”
everyone on this stupid freaking campus could drag yuta through the dirt and say he was a loser and a sleaze, that he was an awful human being and deserved to rot in the deepest pits of hell— as he wouldn’t mind any of it in the slightest if it meant sparring you completely.
if he could, if you’d let him… he would drop it all for you.
“you’re not gonna mess up anything...” you breathed out a soft laugh as you pulled back, your fingers coming up to card and caress through his soft raven strands. “and if you do, that’s okay! we’ll just fix it baby.”
the scent of his citrusy cologne wafted through your nostrils, the smell one of the most comforting things in your fucking life as you sunk your nose further into the fabric of his clothing then.
“i’m sure there’ll be moments when i mess up too.” you murmured against him, gently. “but we’ll deal with it together… so you shouldn’t let what anyone says about anything affect you so much okay?”
you leaned back again and gave his head a little pat.
“you look so stressed and i don’t like it.”
he chuckled softly and picked his head up, eyes peering down at you for a moment and staring before he lifted his head completely, his posture a little straighter as he nodded.
“i’m sorry.” he sheepishly smiled. “i just get in my head sometimes.”
you smiled back warmly, shaking your head and understanding to the fucking max where he’s coming from, for you were silently in the same exact position right at this moment and yet too cowardly to seek reassurance like he was rightfully doing.
“s’okay!” your hands slid from his hair down to his chest, standing on your tippy toes to give him a tiny peck on the lips. “don’t be sorry.”
yuta couldn’t control the rumors or what people had to say about the both of you.
but what he could control, were his actions and his words to you… and it was almost like he wanted to prove a point to every single dickhead on campus and make them see, believe and comprehend that you weren’t just a toy for him to disgustingly use and have a simple fling with, deciding in that moment to prioritize your happiness and satisfaction above all else.
he needed you to know that he wasn’t using you.
so he created distance.
and although it wasn’t distance that was detrimental or cruel to you or your relationship, it was enough of a distance that you noticed right away while helping out at his fraternity’s fundraiser the next day— you offering to assist the vice president in keeping track of the total number of cookie sales and stock, refilling the stands and glass casings whenever it was needed while yuta dealt with the boys, him networking with other frat guys from several different universities as well and charming them with his usual second nature charisma, anyone who spoke to him succumbing up to it so much that they’d be swayed enough to buy packs and packs of cookies.
you’d even witnessed stampeding crowds of sorority girls and staff buy dozens of batches simply because yuta kindly flashed them a handsome smile and an enthusiastic hello, you sat at the booth blinking in dumbfounded amazement as the vice president worked the register and cashed in wads of dollar bills, the shelves cleaning themselves out quicker than you thought.
but every time you tried to talk to yuta or give him a kiss… it was almost hurried from him— interlocked fingers that were fleeting and only lasted a couple seconds, yuta squeezing your hand with a grin before letting go and walking a different direction without even letting you get a word in, or embraces that were too short and fucking weird, him sort of treating you like a best friend instead of his girlfriend as he barely pecked your forehead or cheeks or literally anywhere that wasn’t your lips.
you tried to tell yourself that he was just busy and probably had a lot on his mind, understanding completely that he had responsibilities to attend to for the day and feeling irritated at yourself for being a bit upset.
though you couldn’t help but wonder why this time it felt so… different.
because usually, even when yuta had things to do for the frat or events to cater to, he never once let you off on your own for too long, and he always showered you with affection and kisses that made your cheeks heat up and heart palpate into literal oblivion that you’d have to cup a hand over his mouth to get him to simmer down, a bashful silly sorry from him muffling against your palm in return.
and you realized then just how attached to your boyfriend you actually were… and way more than you initially thought.
you missed him.
the vice president glanced at you from over his shoulder and smiled, chuckling a bit as he finished up tending to the latest customer and closing the register.
“you okay?” he waved to someone in the crowd on the other side of the booth before turning back to you. “you look bothered. is it too hot?”
“oh! no i’m okay! thank you.” you shook your head, smiling politely.
he smirked.
“you miss yuta?”
your cheeks went pink and he burst out laughing, reaching to type a few things on the register’s touch screen.
“us selling cookies is one of our biggest fundraisers, and its where we make most of our money for the year so— yuta’s usually all over the place during it.”
you listened intently, nodding along as he breathed out tiredly through his nose and walked a bit away from the booth, sitting down on the chair next to yours.
“i don’t know how i’m gonna do this by myself next year man…” he mumbled with closed eyelids, tiredly crossing his arms. “yuta’s like a machine. i don’t know how he handles the guys and the frat and whatever else in between without crashing out like me.”
a sense of pride for your man bubbled up in your chest then, it always nice to hear the vice president or anyone for that matter speak highly of yuta and his abilities, the work he’d put into the fraternity for the majority of his college life so insane and admirable, that there was no doubt in your mind he’d leave behind a blueprint and had set the standards fucking high for the next presidents to come.
“are you applying to be president for next year?” you asked.
he snorted.
“fuck no. i could never fill yuta’s shoes.”
he peeked an eye open and you gave him a look, him laughing in response.
“what?”
“i’ve seen you handle the frat so well all of the time what are you on?”
“four cans of energy drinks.” he muttered. “and cookies from the batch of burnt scraps.”
you giggled, leaning back against the chair and looking on ahead— yuta in the middle of the grassy field surrounded by girls, members from other fraternities, and anything alike as you watched him converse and be silly with them all, a sweet smile on his face that you wished you could see up close for a bit, since he hadn’t stopped by the booth at all for the majority of the day and was instead working the field to bring in customers.
“i think you’re the most qualified out of anyone to take over yuta’s position next year.” you spoke gently. “so i hope you do apply.”
“i yell at the boys too much… yuta knows a good in between when needed.” his head lulled tiredly to the side. “and i don’t know if i’m gonna be able to handle the rejection if he says no.”
your jaw hung open, a bewildered look on your face.
“why would he say no? if anything it’s already yours—”
his head snapped in your direction.
“is it? how do you know? did he tell you? i feel like you’d know tell me right now—”
“tell you what?”
you straightened up upon hearing the familiar voice of your man and looked, a big smile stretching across your face once you saw yuta standing there on the other side of the booth, a cute half grin on his lips as he leaned against the table with palms on the surface.
“yu!”
“hi flower!” he beamed. “you okay?”
“uh huh!” you stood up, stepping closer to the table and leaning against it, mirroring him. “are you…?”
“i am!” he nodded, walking around the table and swinging an arm around your shoulders. “i’m exhausted though i don’t wanna talk to any more people i can’t do it.”
you giggled, little butterflies fluttering in your tummy at finally having him next to you and his attention for the time being.
“i feel like a walking corpse.” the vice president huffed out. “we can pack up early? we hit our goal in the afternoon i think we should send the boys back to the frat to set up for the after party.”
“sounds good!” yuta smiled, turning his head down to you. “you’re still going right? to the party?”
“mhm!” you nodded. “i just need to go home and get ready… do you need help setting up for it?”
“oh no flower that’s alright!” he squeezed your shoulder lovingly. “you’ve already done so much for me… just go get ready baby and call me so i can pick you up okay?”
“kay!” you cheesed, leaning up to give him a kiss when yuta suddenly turned his head to the side, your lips landing on his cheek instead.
what—
you pulled back, trying to keep a neutral expression on your face as you took a step forward and out of his arm around your shoulders, a growing ache in your chest over the fact that he’d been doing this all day.
did it look like you were going in for cheek kisses? or kisses that were anywhere but his mouth? it wasn’t— obvious?
maybe… maybe it was just you.
maybe you were messing up again.
“thanks for making the poster by the way and helping out y/n.” the vice president mentioned, snapping you from your thoughts. “it looks so freaking good i don’t think we’ve ever had a banner look that great.”
you smiled brightly and nodded. “it’s okayyy! i hope i helped you guys out a little bit.”
“flower you did more than a little bit.” yuta laughed. “we sold so many cookies because i heard there was a pretty girl by the register… heh.”
a wave of heat rose to your cheeks and you playfully rolled your eyes, waving him off as you stepped away from the canopy tent.
“call me please when you’re ready!” yuta called out to you, you turning your body a bit and showing him a cute thumbs up before facing forward again, him and the vice president watching you walk across the busy field and towards the campus parking lot.
the vice president spoke up after a few seconds of silence.
“is it true?”
yuta’s gaze switched to his.
“what is?”
“that you’re cheating on y/n with layla.”
his face dropped, brows furrowing as yuta moved his body to look at him properly.
“you’ve heard the rumors too?”
he nodded.
“where?”
“everywhere.” the vice president responded plainly. “i hear them in class, out of class, in the student lounge, when i go take a piss—”
“from— from who?”
the borderline frantic desperation in yuta’s tone made the vice presidents gaze flicker to his, eyeing his solemn eagerness to know information that he regrettably couldn’t give concretely, but also eyeing his body language and expression to see if yuta was indeed guilty, or just a victim to annoying gossip once more.
except this time around… it was cruel.
“it’s from multiple people that i don’t really know.” he sighed. “i just hear it floating around.”
yuta groaned and ran both hands down his face in exasperation, bitterly shaking his head while his mind ran rampant for the thousandth fucking time over the rumor of his supposed infidelity.
“so is it true?” the vice president repeated.
“no.” yuta spoke firmly, harshly. “no i would never do something like that to her. ever.”
there was another moment of silence.
“alright.” the vice president leaned back in his chair, his eyes tiredly closing again. “because it’d be a shame if you were… she’s a nice girl.”
“i know she is…” yuta mumbled, sluggishly walking over to the seat next to him and plopping down on it. “i’ve been trying to figure out who’s spreading that rumor but it’s fucking everywhere that i can’t figure it out. even toma asked me about it.”
the vice president snorted. “toma?”
“yeah.” yuta put his elbows down on his knees and leaned forward, an arm coming up to rest his cheek against the heel of his palm. “i told him if he could figure out who was doing it i’d consider lifting his probation.”
“huh?!”
yuta looked at him apologetically.
“i know… i hope it’s okay with you.” he dropped his arm and gazed on ahead. “i was only gonna lift a month off, and that’s even if he can find out who.”
“toma’s gonna stop at nothing to figure out who just because of that.” the vice president laughed. “it’s alright man... i’d do the same if i were you.”
yuta solemnly nodded.
“i’m scared of what she’s heard. i don’t want her to get hurt by any of it.”
“have you talked to her about it?”
he shook his head. “kind of… only generally but not specifically about the cheating rumor—”
“wha—” the vice president gawked. “that’s the one thing you should be talking to her about yuta she’s gonna hear it eventually—”
“but that’s the thing if— if she hasn’t yet i want it to stay that way…” he mumbled, head hanging low. “so i can try and get rid of it before it upsets her.”
“i don’t know if that thought process is a good idea or not.” the vice president spoke warily. “it kind of looks like you’re trying to cover up the fact that you are cheating—”
“i’m not—”
“then do something about it.”
the vice president stood up, arms raising up over his head to stretch and loosen up his tired limbs, them falling limp at his sides after. “talk to layla directly at the party tonight and find out if it’s her or not, then go from there.”
yuta’s brows pinched.
why the fuck didn’t he think of that sooner?
“i’ll ask around for you too.” the vice president swiped his backpack from the grass and shrugged it on, taking his jacket then from the back of the chair and tossing it lazily over his shoulder.
“but your best bet is toma.”
and the vice president was right.
because the minute yuta picked your stunning self up for the party later that day, utterly obsessed with the way you dolled up and him trying to take it all in for himself, his phone wouldn’t stop fucking buzzing inside the pocket of his pants and breaking his looney trance— him having to literally rip his eyes away from you and begrudgingly shove his hand around for his phone until he found it.
“who is it?” you laughed softly, buckling your seatbelt once you got in the car and reaching up to pull down his sun visor, sliding open the small vanity mirror and readjusting your hair a little.
yuta nearly drooled.
“oh! uh—”
he snapped his head down to see message after message pile in from toma, all of which were back to back and without a freaking break as they nearly blew up his phone, the nonstop vibration against his palm irritating him as he unlocked his device and went to toma’s contact.
toma: yo
toma: prez
toma: hello
toma: answer me right now
“it’s just toma.” he shook his head, thumbs prepping to type a response.
toma: HELLO
toma: YUTA
toma: ARE YOU IGNORING ME
toma: I BRING NEWS ABOUT YOUR CHEATING SCANDAL!
his eyes widened.
toma: LIFT MY PROBATION
yuta: say that again and i’m extending it
yuta: what did you find?
toma: wouldn’t you like to know ;)
toma: bet your girlfriend sure would!
toma: let me stay at the frat for the party and i’ll tell you
yuta: five months
toma: NO OKAY FUCK IM SORRY
toma: seriously though come to the house before i leave and i’ll tell you
toma: it’s too much to type and i’m lazy
“is he okay?” you asked kindly, sliding the mirror shut and closing the sun visor, turning your head to look at him.
“yeah he’s fine baby.” he looked up and smiled, leaning across the console to press a sweet kiss on your cheek, settling back in his seat and shifting the gear into reverse to pull out of your driveway. “you have everything?”
why wasn’t he kissing your mouth?
“mhm!” you nodded. “how many people did you guys invite?”
“it was an open invite.” he pushed the gear to drive and accelerated down your street back to his fraternity.
you scoffed in amazement.
“open invite?”
usually the parties yuta threw with his frat brothers were of select invite only, ones that consisted of anyone with any type of popularity alongside whoever they decided to bring also of status, you realizing that you were probably the only one there who didn’t have anything to their name in comparison to the others.
but with the invite now extending to absolutely anyone? and his parties already to begin with rowdy and insane?
you expected yuta’s frat house to turn into a shit show.
“what?” he laughed, turning his steering wheel to the left. “it’s a lot of people isn’t it?”
“you’re gonna have half of the student body in your house.”
he laughed again and shot you an apologetic look, him continuing to drive through the familiar avenues and paths that led up to his fraternity, when you quickly noticed the streets looked a bit more packed than usual— almost every single curb lined up with mass amounts of vehicles that were parked damn near back to back with no room left to even get out, you spotting small portions of dressed up crowds walking down the sidewalk the closer you got to his frat, already being peppy and noisy as they cackled and carried down packs of alcohol in their arms.
yuta had invited nearly the entire student body on purpose.
to find out who it was that was spreading that piece of shit rumor about his infidelity.
your boyfriend pulled into the driveway, your ears already picking up on the booming bass of the music inside as yuta flashed his lights at people who were in the way, him slowly inching through to get in the open garage as your eyes wildly scoured over the amount of students crossing the lawn or surrounding his car, empty red solo cups and trash littering the grass out front when the party had literally just started an hour ago.
there were so many people, more than you had ever seen at his previous parties.
yuta lifted an arm and pressed the small garage remote that was hooked above on his sun visor, the wide door loudly sliding shut in response as he drove in a little further before cutting off the ignition, him pulling his keys out and hooking the carabiner through one of his belt loops.
“you okay baby?” he smiled kindly, lifting his head to look at you and setting a hand down on his steering wheel. “i’m sorry about all the people… i know its a lot.”
you shook your head and gave him a cute grin, actively pushing down the fuzzy nerves that started to push up your throat for the sake of not being a burden, you not wanting to be annoying in the slightest about the crowds and just let yuta have fun, with this being his last fundraising after party and all.
“don’t be sorry yu its okay.” you reached across the console and took his hand, interlacing your fingers together. “you guys deserve to unwind like this after today right?”
he beamed and nodded, his grip tightening and eyes flickering down to your pretty little dress that made him swallow and quickly divert his gaze away, lips pursing to the side with pinky cheeks as he tried to get his head straight and remind himself over and over of the distance, of not playing into everybody’s stupid beliefs and hurting you.
but it was so fucking hard to when you were just so gorgeous to him, fondness creeping up in his chest then as he randomly thought of the night he first saw you at that one party he hosted a year ago— just as pretty if not more.
yuta was so unbelievably glad that you had rejected him then, for it woke his entire self up to the possibilities and beauty of actual genuine love rather than just quick fucks, the normalcy of meaningless hook ups something he had shamefully grown accustomed and desensitized to since high school.
your rejection had woken him up to you.
“yuta..?”
he blinked, eyes snapping back to you.
“yeah! yes flower?”
you giggled softly. “i asked if you wanted to go inside? i’m sure everyone’s been wanting to see you…”
he simply shrugged and brought your hand up to his lips, kissing the back of it.
“but i wanna see you.”
you snorted. “you are seeing me silly… you see me everyday! hehe.”
and yet it wasn’t nearly enough. it was never enough.
yuta reached across the console with his unoccupied hand and ran his thumb over your precious cheek, his touch delicate as he silently looked at you with a little glimmer in his eye, taking in the sight of you before retracting his arm and smiling.
“stick to me the entire night please.” he squeezed your hand. “if at any point you get tired or a little nervous baby just let me know. we’ll go up to my room and call it, okay?”
your heart fluttered at how considerate and sweet he was, you nodding in response.
“mkay!”
you had never seen the frat look so full and feel so humid in your fucking life, you gripping tightly onto yuta’s hand as he led you through sweaty drunk bodies and narrow hallways, keeping close to him and trying to ignore the curious confused stares you got that eyed you both as you passed, shyly switching your gaze or turning your head altogether to evade it.
the stares weren’t anything new to you, as practically with every event or party yuta threw you received them without fail, the act a given at this point as no one seemed to ever remember your face or what you looked like no matter how long you had been around yuta already, you actually preferring it that way as it allowed you to be on campus without any weird instances from random individuals asking about your relationship with him.
yuta periodically looked over his shoulder at you to make sure you were still there and okay, his head turning back ahead and scanning every single fucking face he saw in the hopes of recognizing the vice president, or better yet— toma, him desperate to find him and get as much information as he possibly could to put an end to that horrific rumor before it got to you.
“okkotsu! heeey man! how’s it going?—”
you’d lost count of how many people had come up to your boyfriend to greet him or pat him on the shoulders, you next to him through it all and not minding one bit as you kept your fingers interlocked with his— your other hand clutching at his bicep while he mingled and charmingly laughed with his crowd, some even greeting you as you surprisedly reciprocated and shyly replied back, each time yuta caressing your knuckles reassuringly with his thumb— encouraging you, a kind look to his face that eased your nerves like nothing else ever did.
“you still doing okay flower?!” he yelled over the thumping music, pulling you to a little corner by the kitchen and leading you to stand against the wall, him shielding you from the crowd as he turned his back and faced you. “you feeling tired?!”
you shook your head no and sweetly grinned at him. “i’m good yu!”
he smiled and nodded, setting a hand on top of your head and giving it a gentle rub, careful of not messing with your prettily styled hair too much.
“you want anything to drink?!” he looked up and craned his neck around the wall to scope out the kitchen. “i bought a pack of sunny d and had one of the boys put it in the fridge for you!—”
“yo! okkotsu!”
yuta snapped his head over his shoulder, your own eyes peering around your man’s frame to see one of his frat brothers standing just a few feet away, pointing out into the crowd behind him with his thumb.
“toma’s still here! he’s looking for you!”
your brow quirked a little at the way yuta instantaneously straightened up and turned out a little more, wondering why toma’s presence elicited that reaction from him as his hand went from your head down along your arm, his thumb reaching your fingertips and lightly grazing over them.
“where is he?!” he asked over the music.
“out front on the porch! he’s getting ready to leave!”
yuta raised his other palm and thanked him before quickly turning back to you.
“i’m gonna go see what he wants okay flower?” he hurriedly kissed your forehead, you a bit perplexed at his urgency as you hesitantly nodded along.
“let me look for the VP really quick so you won’t be alone—”
“no yu its okay!” you let out a breathy laugh and shook your head. “go baby ill just wait here until you get back.”
he held your gaze for a moment, apprehensive.
“i— i don’t know flower!” he looked over his shoulder again, angling his body around and sweeping the crowd with anxious little eyes, turning back around to you. “i don’t wanna leave you by yourself i’d rather have someone with you—”
“yu.” you pushed gently. “it’s fine. i won’t move from here ill be in the kitchen waiting for you… okay? go baby go see what toma wants.”
yuta’s pupils were swimming in worry as he stared, feet planted on the floor and hesitant to move as he thought about the millions of things people could say or do to you while he was gone, him gnawing at the bottom of his lip as he continued to anxiously caress over your fingertips.
“o—okay—”
“okkotsu here!—”
both of your heads snapped to the right and saw the vice president, his face flushed red and goofy like as he extended a beer bottle out to yuta.
“why are you empty handed—”
“oh thank god!” yuta breathed out, taking the bottle from his awaiting hand and pulling him in with an arm for a heavy pat on the back, the VP drunkenly quirking a brow and blinking.
“what i do—”
“can you stay with y/n for like— ten minutes?” he quickly ushered. “i just gotta talk to toma really quick!”
“toma?!” the vice president spat. “the fucks he still doing here he’s supposed to be out of the house—”
“he will be once i talk to him!” your boyfriend replied by his ear. “but can you please just be with y/n for a few? I don’t wanna leave her by herself!”
the vice presidents gaze switched to where you were standing then, seemingly just noticing that you were there as his eyes lit up and he nodded, a friendly big smile growing on his face that you responded with a bashful timid one of your own.
“okay great! thanks man!—”
yuta took a few steps towards you and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you in snug and craning down a bit to rest the side of his head against yours.
“i’ll be back okay?” he spoke in your ear.
“o—okay but— you really didn’t have to get the VP to babysit me—”
“no i know baby i’m sorry.” he ran a soothing palm down your back. “but i worry...”
he peeled away from you and pouted. “but just hang tight alright? stick to him.”
you sighed a little through your nose and nodded, you going on your tippy toes then with puckering lips to give him an obvious goodbye smooch, when yuta turned his head again and made your kiss land on his cheek instead.
it looked like he had rejected you.
and yuta failed to see the hurt flash across your face once more as he stepped off to the side and turned, slipping his way through the crowd and basically get swallowed whole by the mass of it, you quickly losing sight of him as your shoulders drooped a little in disappointment.
what were you doing that was so wrong? usually yuta never went more than literally thirty minutes without a kiss from you… but so far he had broken his own record and went the entire day.
what was so wrong with you?
“y/n! do you want a sunny d?”
you jumped a little and turned, seeing the vice president in the kitchen now rummaging through the fridge, a small singular giggle slipping past your lips as you watched him struggle to even get his arms through, him shoving hoards of beer cans and alcohol packs off to the sides just to get his hands in the back.
“i’m pretty sure— fuck— one of the guys put a pack in for you—”
you walked over and carefully crouched down next to him by the fridge, peeking your head in and trying to spot the familiar orange liquidy bottles, more giggles tumbling out as you realized that the sunny d pack was quite literally right in front of the vice presidents face— front and center amongst the mountains of alcohol and trash.
“wait— hehe— i think—” you pointed through your little snickers. “i think it’s right there— oh!”
your arms shot out and you quickly grabbed onto his shoulders just as he was swaying off a little too much to the side, stabilizing him as he cackled and shook his head, his own hands fumbling for the edges of the fridge and gripping them.
“sorry! sorry i’m drinking my sorrows away so i’m drunk also here—”
he loopily pushed a bottle of sunny d in your arms, you scrambling slightly to retrieve it before it dropped to the ground from your hands, the both of you standing from your crouched position.
“thank you.” you smiled sweetly, your brows furrowing a little then. “why are you drinking your sorrows away?”
“because yuta’s graduating and i’m gonna have to deal with this shit on my own.” he swiped an open beer bottle from a nearby counter and took a swig. “he told me just before the party that i’m— hic!— president for next year—”
you gasped, eyes blowing fucking wide as you slapped a hand over your mouth in shock.
“oh my god!” you grinned. “congratulations! you should be so proud!—”
“i should be dead.” he muttered, dramatically drooping his upper body over the kitchen island and sulking. “i’m a dead man. after the fundraiser toma ran around the house naked which then turned into everyone running around the house naked and i couldn’t get anybody to put their fucking clothes on—”
“you—”
“i’ve never seen so many dicks in my life i didn’t even want to see any of their dicks—”
“hold on—”
“whatever happened to asking first? to consent?— OH GOD!—”
the VP sprang off the counter, spun in your direction and grabbed at your shoulders, you stiffening with big eyes as he shook you.
“you’re graduating too! what am i gonna do without you and your calligraphy?! the— the banners?!” his gaze darted over your face as he looked at you crazed and in a state of utter psychosis. “i don’t know any girls! just you by default! i’m gonna have to do bake sales with toma’s stupid fucking stick figures—”
you’d given up in trying to bring the vice president down from his erratic panicked high, deciding the best thing to do then was to just keep your mouth shut and let him ramble on his drunken worries and fears as he shook you, you laughing through it and lightly patting him on the back in comfort, knowing that deep down the VP was elated to have been granted a position so prestigious and accomplishing as you’d heard him wish on it ever since you’d met him, his emotional meltdown just a given and something that came with accepting a position as demanding as yuta’s.
he would be filling shoes that were seemingly impossible to do so in the first place… but you were more than sure that he was the one man that was actually more than qualified for it out of the flock.
and you’d wondered then as the vice president continued to shake you, if yuta had successfully sought out what toma wanted and if he was making his way back over to you sometime soon…
he wished.
“i need names toma names!”
“i tried!” toma flailed his arms out. “i swear to god i tried! but how do you think it looks when i try to come up to layla’s posse and chat them up?! they chewed me out every time i tried!”
he had a point…
“the only info i could get was that it’s her minions who are spreading the rumor.”
yuta’s gaze moved to his, arms crossed as the two of them stood in the middle of the front porch, the area thankfully deserted as the majority of students were inside.
he suspiciously eyed him. “how do you know that?”
“i stood outside the girl’s restroom by the east wing for an hour.” toma replied plainly. “god knows what the hell they were doing in there but— some of her friends were talking nonstop about it.”
yuta snorted, a palm cupping over his mouth as he thought about how much of an idiot creep toma must’ve looked standing outside of the girl's restroom like that.
he had initially planned to confront layla directly, but learning now that it may have not even been her that was at fault, made him feel a little bad and apprehensive about accusing her out of nowhere inside…
he dropped his hand and nodded. “and— and what about layla? is she spreading anything?”
toma shrugged. “dunno. didn’t get that far because i got yelled at.”
yuta laughed and shook his head, raising an arm to pat a heavy hand on toma’s shoulder in gratitude.
“alright, thanks man.” he smiled. “i’ll lift a month off your probation.”
“a month?!” toma gawked. “i thought you said the whole thing!”
“you barely gave me anything idiot.” yuta bent down and picked up his beer bottle from the ground. “you’re lucky i’m even lifting time off otherwise i would’ve added—”
“NO!” toma screamed in absolute terror, hands latching out to desperately clutch at his shirt. “i’m sorry thank you mister president...”
“okay.” he chuckled boyishly. “now go before the VP sees you—”
“i love you mister president—”
“go.”
“say hi to your pretty girl for me—”
“five months probation—”
“NO!”
you’d lost track of how long it had been since yuta left, as you were too preoccupied babysitting the VP— trying to keep him from blacking out and stay on his two feet as he swayed about the kitchen, blubbering about his position next year and then randomly switching from time to time to some girly he had a crush on in his economics class, your heart warming every time he spoke about her cutesy smile, but most of all genuinely worried about him as he almost nearly tipped over one of the keg stands in trying to perform a cartwheel in the middle of the kitchen.
if yuta saw the way that he was when he was supposed to be looking out for you… you figured your boyfriend wouldn’t be to happy with it— the biggest fear you’ve had yet quickly brewing in your chest over the vice president getting his up-and-coming position revoked.
“hey! let’s drink some water yeah?”
the VP whipped his head up, him funnily crouched in a corner and hugging his knees to his chest.
“is this what its like?”
you tilted your head as you opened the fridge, your eyes frantically scouring for a bottle of water and grabbing it once you spotted one, closing it back up and walking over to his sniffling self.
“what is?” you softly asked as you crouched to his level, uncapping the water bottle and offering it out to him.
“to have a girl give a shit about you?”
you giggled, shaking your head side to side as you watched him gratefully take the drink from your hands, chugging it down.
“just talk to her… i’m sure she’d love to go out with you!” you tried to reason. “you never know unless you just— try.”
his puffed out cheeks made you laugh again as he swallowed. “y/n you don’t get it i’m a loser she could never look my way—”
you playfully rolled your eyes. “you’re vice president of a frat. next year president. if that doesn’t get her i don’t know what will.”
he miserably shook his head and hung it.
“the difference is i’m ugly. yuta’s handsome. my boy has no trouble at all—”
“you’re not ugly—”
“layla! have you spoken to yuta tonight at all?”
you stilled, your face falling a bit as you kept your eyes on the VP, him still too drunk and teary to realize there were people in the kitchen now, you grateful that the both of you were out of sight in a tiny little corner so you could take a listen without them noticing.
“no.” she heavily sighed. “i haven’t seen him much at all actually… shame.”
you heard shuffling and the clinking of glass as you eavesdropped, praying that the vice president didn’t blabber out anything else and spoil your cover.
“i did.” a different voice spoke. “he’s with his girlfriend that’s why.”
you heard an exaggerated gasp from somewhere else.
“you saw her? what’d she look like?!”
“i couldn’t really see she was a bit far… but she is here with him.”
“geez, i’m surprised he’d even bring her around after just being with you layla. that’s embarrassing.”
your heart dropped.
“that’s their business not mine.” another spoke, you recognizing it to be layla’s voice again. “if he wants to humiliate her like that, that’s on him.”
… what?
the vice president stirred, about to open his big fat mouth when you sprung out and muffled him, his dazed little eyes confusedly looking at you.
“you’re so lucky though layla!” one gushed. “no one has been able to sleep with him lately except you.”
maybe… maybe the reason why yuta never initiated anything with you, the reason why he evaded your kisses and flat out treated you sometimes like you weren’t his literal girlfriend—
was because he was getting his fill somewhere else.
and somehow through your mental storm, the vice president realized that there were people in the kitchen now, but not just any people… but exactly who and what they were talking about, his own eyes blowing wide in panic.
the girls continued to chat as your hand slid away from the VP’s mouth, your gaze casted downward as you made an attempt to stand, when his hand suddenly shot out and grabbed yours.
“y/n—” he fought with everything in him to push down the alcohol for two fucking seconds and get his head straight. “where are you going—”
“i’m just gonna go find yuta… okay?”
your voice sounded it’s usual sweet and collected, but it was your body language that completely gave it away to him that you were not okay in the slightest.
“wait— just stay for a bit don’t— don’t listen—”
“stay here i’ll be back.” you mumbled, shaking his hand off and standing upright. “don’t try to stand please you’ll fall.”
“sweetheart whatever you heard it’s not true alright? you know that yuta would never—”
your mind wasn’t even registering what the vice president was saying at this point, you feeling your heart actively shattering in your chest as you made your way through the kitchen, passing by the group of girls and guessing that the one in the middle was layla— stunning and breathtaking and everything you’d expect yuta to hook up with and choose over you.
they didn’t even spare you a glance as you walked past them and out of the kitchen, weaving your way through the waves of sweaty people as you tried to spot yuta— you having no idea where he was and just going by the piece of information you had learned earlier of toma being out on the front porch, hoping that he somehow was still there as you squeezed through bodies, the air still humid and suffocating and it for some reason making your chest ache even more.
you wrongfully felt like you had to prove a point… like you were just as capable of being the embodiment of someone like layla that earned a rightful spot at being yuta’s girlfriend, something he not once ever made you question and yet— you shamefully succumbing up to the beliefs of his crowd no matter how many times you told yourself it wouldn’t happen.
you could only take so much… and the thought of losing yuta shook you like nothing else.
it made you desperate.
just as you practically shoved your way out of the main area to get to the front door, you spotted yuta— sitting on a short random stool by the entrance with a half drunken beer bottle in hand, cheerfully conversing with a few of his brothers with that same charismatic smile and attitude that swooned millions, you swallowing the lump in your throat as you hugged yourself and slowly walked over.
“yu..?”
your familiar quiet voice made him stop talking and snap his head in your direction, him straightening up as he sent you a kind smile.
as soon as he went back inside after speaking to toma, yuta got caught up with a few of his frat members in regards to details about upcoming events, kicking himself over the fact that he didn’t realize how long he was actually gone for as he noticed how upset you looked right now, wondering where the hell the VP was.
“hi pretty flower!” he grinned, faltering when you didn’t smile back at all.
“can we—” you stammered. “um—”
yuta extended an offering hand out, you hesitating for a moment before you decided to just take it, him gently pulling you in to stand in between his legs and moving that same hand to cup over the back of your thigh.
you hated that his touch sort of… stung.
“sorry baby i couldn’t hear you.” he gently spoke, looking up at you with such sweet eyes that it nearly made you want to forget what you’d heard in the kitchen. “what’s wrong? i’m sorry i was gone for so long i got caught up with some of the guys.”
“n—no its okay.” you weakly smiled, and his brows furrowed at that, his hand beginning to caress over the back of your thigh.
had something happened while he was away?
“i need to um… talk to you in your room upstairs.” you shyly pursed your lips to the side. “if that’s okay…”
oh!
he reached up and took your chin in between his thumb and pointer finger, bringing your face down to plant a little kiss to your cheek.
“it’s always okay flower.” he beamed, standing and taking your hand in his as he took a swig of his beer. “you wanna retire for the night?”
not exactly.
but you nodded, him then immediately bidding some of his brothers goodbye while he tugged on your hand and led you upstairs, your head facing the ground and anxious as you both walked through the hallways of the frat house and away from the noise, eventually arriving at yuta’s door as you chewed the shit out of your bottom lip, him pushing down his lever door handle and opening it.
“you feeling a little tired?” he asked gently, closing the door behind him as you both stepped inside, facing you after. “we can call it a nigh—”
you fisted yuta’s shirt and yanked him down, cutting him off with your mouth on his as his eyes flew open, your raunchy little kisses feeling awfully familiar to that one night he was over and almost stripped you naked over them, already catching himself getting dangerously close to that again as he squeezed his eyes shut and gripped at your delicious waist.
stop stop stop—
but he couldn’t bring himself to put an end to it as he deepened the kiss, your heart fluttering at that as you led him to his bed through your sloppy make out, moving about until the back of his legs hit the edge of his mattress and he plopped down, you instantly climbing onto his lap and straddling him.
yuta felt like he was about to die over the overwhelming feeling of you perched pretty on his lap, or the way the straps of your tiny dress loosened and fell erotically over your bare shoulders— revealing a little more cleavage to him that took everything he had not to flip you on the bed and stuff his face in there.
he had to stop this… he needed to stop this to avoid losing you like everybody wanted him to, like everybody expected him to.
at the feeling of you taking his hand from your waist and sliding it down your godly body to cup your ass, yuta’s eyes snapped open and he forced his lips off yours, the both of you staring at each other in alarm with heaving breaths.
“wh— what yu?” you spoke breathlessly, you dazedly leaning in again to continue smooching when he literally dodged your lips and moved his head back, like— like you were just some random that tried to kiss him.
that was your final straw.
you sat there frozen and heartbroken as he shakily grabbed your hips and carefully sat you down on the bed next to him, him standing and wincing at the feeling of his hard dick being choked out by his jeans as he tried to block out the sight of you on his lap like that.
“man i’m so tired heh!” he began. “i’m gonna go take a quick shower—”
the sound of you suddenly sobbing made him whip his head down to you, his face utterly falling once he saw your trembling shoulders-- crying into your hands as broken hiccups and whimpers filled the air.
holy shit.
“baby? baby what’s wrong—” he quickly bent down and cupped your cheeks, his heart dropping to his ass when you practically ripped his hands off you through your tears, sniffling as you scooched back on his bed to get away from him.
oh god.
had you— had you heard the rumor?
“oh my god.” he breathed out. “you heard didn’t you? the— the rumor about layla—”
you sobbed harder at the mention of her name, and yuta’s fingers flew to dig inside the strands of his hair.
“flower i swear to god—” his chest grew erratic as he was one hundred percent convinced you were about to end things with him. “with everything i have that it’s not true—”
he dropped his arms and desperately dug around the pockets of his jeans, pulling out his phone once he found it.
“here!” he shakily unlocked it and tossed it on the bed in front of you. “here baby here please take it there’s nothing in there that—”
but you only slowly shook your head and continued to cry in your little hands, yuta feeling like he was about to lose it.
“no?” he breathed out. “why not? why—”
he frantically shoved his hands in his jeans again and pulled out his car keys, tossing it out in front of you as well as his wallet and anything else he could find in there that he thought would somehow help you believe him.
“here my— my keys are there and— and my wallet please look at them and please don’t cry—”
yuta reached out again for you, his trembling hands just barely cupping over your upper arms when you tore yourself away from him again, each time you did that making it feel like his skin was on fucking fire, burning and blistering and stinging with every hiccup that slipped past your lips.
he’d done what he was terrified of doing all this time.
he’d fucked things up with you.
“baby please don’t break up with me—” his voice cracked as he spoke, him sinking down on his knees with arms over the bed. “please i don’t know— i don’t know if i can take that i—”
“why don’t you want me?”
he froze, the little quiver in your voice absolutely shattering his heart.
“what?—”
“you never— you never touch me you never initiate anything with me—”
“flower—”
“you don’t even fucking kiss me anymore yuta…” you sobbed, wiping at your flooding tears as you sniffled. “and then— i’m in the kitchen with the VP and layla is in there talking about how you sleep with her and—”
he stood, grabbed your upper arms and held you still over your squirming and nudging to push him away, keeping you in place with wild eyes as he forced you to look at him.
“i would never in a million fucking years cheat on you y/n.” he seriously pushed. “never. everything that her and her friends are saying is fake i even— i even got toma to spy on them so i could figure it out—”
“you still don’t get it!” you sobbed. “the issue is you’ve never wanted me like you’ve wanted layla—”
“what the fuck?” he spoke incredulously. “baby i’ve never wanted that girl—”
“then why don’t you ever do anything with me?! or— or want me—”
you realized then how silly you sounded, embarrassment quickly washing over your system as you looked down and diverted your gaze with pinky cheeks, quieting down with your sniffles.
yuta’s eyes softened then, the dots clicking in his stupid pea sized brain over what you meant, the ache in his chest only growing in mass at the realization that whatever idiotic fucking plan he had about not hurting you, about enlisting distance and avoiding being affectionate with you to prove a point to everybody else, was utterly and entirely wrong.
of course it was wrong… how could he ever think that it wasn’t? how could he ever think that you’d respond positively to it or— or be okay with it?
if you ever did what he had done, he would absolutely die inside— hating himself for letting the speculations of others get in the way of his relationship with you.
his hands slowly slid up from your arms to your cheeks— gently cupping them and wiping your tears with his thumbs as you trembled.
“you have no idea how badly i’ve wanted to do things with you—”
“you’re lying!—”
“no!” he lowered his hands and wrapped you up tight in his arms, stuffing his nose into your neck. “i want you baby i want you so bad i go fucking nuts—”
how could he have neglected his girl and her precious little needs for this long..?
you continued to sniffle and shake in his arms, trying to steady your breathing as he then leisurely let you go, you too preoccupied in your thoughts of regret and ashamed at yourself for being a brat, that you failed to notice the way yuta was unbuckling his belt until you heard the tiny metal clasp clang, his face still in your neck.
“m’sorry pretty flower…” he murmured, your teary eyes widening at him slowly tugging and sliding his belt through the loops of his jeans. “i haven’t been taking care of you have i..?”
“yu—yuta—”
he planted a knee on the bed and crawled on, his upper body coming onto you and giving you no choice but to go down with him— you softly landing on your back and frozen in place with a palpating heart, him in between your thighs.
“i’ve never wanted to fuck a girl so bad in my life.” he hotly breathed out in your neck. “since we met baby…”
he picked his head up and casted his gaze down, placing his palms on either sides of your plushy thighs and sliding up your dress, further and further until it pooled around your waist and revealed your god forsaken pinky panties— see through and showing him your pretty glistening lips that made him suck in a breath and groan.
“i don’t give a shit about layla.” yuta hooked an index finger in the underside of your panties and pulled it to the side, taking a pervy peek at your pussy in the flesh. “i don’t give a shit about this stupid frat or anyone but you.”
butterflies swarmed wildly in your tummy as you watched him pop open the button of his jeans with his other hand, tugging it a little down along with his boxers until his cock literally jumped out, your words caught in your throat as you drank in the sight of him giving it a slow yummy pump, his tip already leaky and red.
“i’ve been ignoring my pretty girl and not fucking her like she deserves…” he murmured, the sudden feeling of his tip running up and down your gaping cunt making you squeak, you quickly gnawing on your bottom lip after and trying so hard to bite back your moans out of embarrassment, but it nearly impossible with the way he kept teasingly rubbing his dick over your swollen clit over and over.
“i’m sorry flower—” he positioned himself. “but i’m too impatient to take off anything else okay?”
you blinked up at him, yuta looking directly at you and fucking possessed by your gorgeous face and your gorgeous body and your gorgeous pussy, his chest heaving as he tried his best not to just throw you around and shove his cock inside.
“o—okay—”
he lined his dick up with your hole. “and m’not using a condom.”
your walls clenched at him saying that, him hovering over you as he took your wrists and set both of your hands on his shoulders before moving an arm down, pulling your panties out to the side even more.
“mkay?”
he absolutely refused to use a condom— another obvious factor that set you apart from his previous hookups, something your silly little mind shouldn’t have even compared yourself to in the first place.
why fucking would he if he’d decided the moment he saw you he would never let you go? never let you out of his sight?
you frantically nodded, your hands clutching at his shoulders then as you eagerly opened your legs a little wider for him, yuta losing it at that and shooting you a wild horny grin.
“good job baby…”
he placed both hands on your soft hips and slowly eased himself in your slippery little cunt, you immediately gasping at the sudden yummy unfamiliar stretch and tightening your grip on his shirt, a whimper escaping your throat as you attempted to loosen your hole and let him in.
“i know flower i know—”
yuta was aware that he had to go easy and gentle with you, that you (thankfully) weren’t used to cock in general… but he nonetheless found that he had to physically restrain his hips from pistoning inside you and making you cry on his dick, something he’d thought about for what felt like ages now.
your little moans and mewls spurred him on as he carefully pumped inside you, his head thrown back with a wide-open mouth and closed eyelids, practically drooling as he got off to the sound of your squelching pussy sucking him in, the mattress rocking underneath you both.
“you— you okay baby?” he lulled his head down to look at you, struggling to even keep his eyes open as he kneaded at your hips and fucked you.
“mhm!” you nodded, your sultry sparkling eyes peering up at him so sweetly that he nearly busted inside of you. “but— mm!— yu—”
“what happened baby..?”
“wanna— wanna go on top—”
yuta swore he saw the heavens then, the grip he had on your hips tightening as he held your gaze with desperate eyes, unbelieving of the privilege he was about to experience as he without another word pulled out and flipped you both over, you letting out a tiny squeal mixed giggle as he excitedly settled beneath you.
“tell me how okay?” you softly spoke, and he quickly nodded, placing a sweaty palm on your torso and carefully guiding your hole to his tip again, you holding the base of his cock as you tried to contribute and line it up, yuta assisting you by stretching your panties to the side out of the way with his free hand.
“just— sink down on it pretty flower—” he panted, you listening and slowly letting your pussy engulf his puffy tip again.
“like— like this?—”
yuta licked his lips and nodded, him unable to fucking speak as his hands found yours and interlaced them, his heart pounding and head reeling in euphoria as you started gradually lifting your hips and submerging him inside of you— your cute little self whining and bouncing so cute on it.
“gooood baby good.” he heaved. “just— god just like that please—”
your pace quickened and his jaw dropped, you absolutely lost in the feeling of him stuffing you so full as you felt his warm cum already leaking outside of your hole— sticky skin slapping together and yuta’s moaning and groaning only growing louder by the second.
“am i— hic!— am i doing okay?”
“jesus more than okay—” he took you by surprise and snapped his hips up, your tits nearly spilling over your dress at the force as he started thrusting into you at a rapid pace, you crying out as you tightened your interlocked hands and squeezed your eyes shut over the pleasure, already feeling your orgasm itching itself into your system and tickling at your swollen clit.
"f— fuuuck yu—" you gasped, your pretty moans going directly in his ears making him fucking shudder and mess up the rhythm he had going for a split second, never in his life hearing something so sugary and sacred.
"m'so fuuuull—"
"yeah?" yuta wildly smiled as he pounded, loving that he was the one that got to stuff you full of his cock and snatch you up before any other stupid man got to, your red plump lips and pinky cheeks that read nothing but an expression of being fucked out spurring him on so much that he nearly choked, wanting to be the absolute only one that ever got to see you this way.
"you're being so fuckin good for me baby—"
never in yuta okkotsu’s career of being a former man whore did he ever cum this quickly into sex.
but the sight of you pretty and angelic on his cock, bouncing through his pounding and whimpering your little heart out while he watched you literally squirt over his dick as you finished, his head struggling to register that he was finally fucking you full on his bed after all this time—
was the perfect explanation as to why he broke his own record.
yuta let go of your hands and lunged himself at you, wrapping his arms around your torso and yanking you down to lay on top of him, the cage he had around you locked tight as he shoved his nose into your hair and drilled his hips up to fuck you faster, your eyes rolling to the back of your head at his ruthless speed.
“m’gonna cum.” he choked out. “o—okay?”
“fuck! yes yes yes—”
“inside.”
“yes yu please please!—”
at the sound of you begging for him he released, shooting his heavy stringy load through your gummy hot walls as he loudly groaned into your neck, both of you gasping and heaving for air as he stilled his hips and let his balls completely drain inside, him holding you like his life utterly depended on it.
eventually yuta slightly loosened his hold and moved you up a little to slide his dick out, the air steamy and humid as you both panted and swallowed— trying to catch your breaths and come down from the blissful horny mess the two of you just participated in.
yuta slid a hand up to hold the back of your head, him turning his to press tiny little kisses to the side of your forehead, waiting and basking in the tender moment you just shared before speaking.
“i’m sorry i haven’t been paying attention to you flower…” he spoke gently. “i let what the rumors were saying get into my head and i—”
he struggled for a bit, you carefully pulling back to look at him properly and pouting over the guilty expression on his face.
“i wanted everybody to stop saying and thinking that i was just using you for a fuck.” he mumbled. “and i was trying to prove it to you too so… i thought it was best if i stayed away like a fucking idiot.”
you giggled softly and pressed a sweet kiss to his cheek, him blushing at that.
“you’re so silly yu...” you kindly smiled. “you’ve never needed to prove anything to me. ever… you know that.”
“i know but— everyone was saying so much shit and i got scared that it’d make you upset and it did—”
“yuta i’m dating you not them.” you gently emphasized, your hand coming up to card through his raven locks. “i couldn’t care less about what they have to say… but if you start letting it get into your head like that yu, its gonna bleed onto us and affect us. okay?”
he solemnly nodded, eyes looking up at you in shame.
“so don’t let it.” a gorgeous smile grew on your lips then. “i’ve always believed in you yuta… i don’t need anybody else’s two cents to know that, much less if they’re saying the awful things they’re saying now. they’re stinky for that.”
yuta laughed and gave you a kiss, wholeheartedly agreeing.
"i love you pretty girl."
and he believed in you.
from the moment he met you in his kitchen, from the moment your shy pretty voice rejected him in the sweetest way possible, from the moment he started working his ass off to win you over for a solid year straight— yuta believed in you.
in the both of you— in what you could purely grow and create despite the two of you being born and raised on complete opposites of the social wheel, defying the idiotic supposed laws of society and finding love in the most unlikely circumstances.
the chances of life bringing you together was one in a million, and yuta was grateful to have landed in it despite everything, for he couldn’t imagine a life where he wasn’t your man and took you on frequent trips to the aquarium, visiting a silly little penguin who wanted his girl just as much as he did, and eating lunch with you in the loveliest of flower gardens that withheld the nickname he had for you so fittingly.
his reputation upon graduating was no longer of a sleazy good for nothing piece of shit who whored around, but of yuta okkotsu— president of his frat who reigned for three years straight, the most popular guy to ever fucking exist, the only one who ever managed to throw massive parties every week…
but of also a guy who simply loved his girlfriend.
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𝗝𝗘𝗙𝗙 𝗕𝗨𝗖𝗞𝗟𝗘𝗬 — 1994
— Merri Cyr
they should invent a body that feels normal to be inside of
sorry I can’t hang out tonight. yeah I’m busy freaking out over things that might not even happen. yeah it’s gonna take a while
