The cure for anything is salt water -

- sweat, tears, or the sea.

[ur-daily-inspiration]

[free-range-tiddies]

Can’t believe Peter Griffin really tried it.

[video-store-clerk]

Ok but I’d the second dude like…a vampire? Because my straight ass is bewitched.

[gamebiadvance]

[Transcript:

(the first person has text over them that says “being fat and wanting a girlfriend”)

First person: “See what’s behind this door..!”

(Door has text over it that says “fat girls” while The Toccata and Fugue in D minor plays in the background)

First person: “Noo, is there a bett-”

Second person: “ Yo it’s funny that there’s an entire demographic, of petite women who love bigger men. But because you’ve just ousted yourself, as a cunt, it’s never gonna happen for you mate. You’re really out here body shaming, all these beautiful shawties, big body Bugatti (kiss noise), exquisite; but you’re built like a less cool Bling Bling Boy from Johnny Test. Make it make sense mate. It doesn’t- it really doesn’t. Could’ve kept your mouth shut. But you had to say something. And you even went so far as to put it on the internet. And you thought that was a good idea because-? Please, take yourself elsewhere. Sincerely the entire fucking human race.”

End transcript.]

[thunderboltsortofapenny]

The moment that man started speaking -

[satancheeto]

Okay but he DOES actually sound very suspiciously like Trevor or Alucard from Castlevania

[briagain]

Sir speaks in cursive

[strangematteroverflow]

Dude got taken to the cleaners by the demon of LUST

[commandtower-solring-go]

Imagine getting roasted by The Old God of Fuckin

[clairetheanimal]

#f2020 https://www.instagram.com/p/CFgj90pg_ad/?igshid=elnroc6gaoya

[clairetheanimal]

IT'S HERE!!!! 🤩🤩🤩 Autumn, I mean- officially! 🍂🍁🍃 And what better way to appreciate the day than to receive my pre-ordered copy of Pie Style from Amazon (if any of you have any interest in seriously amazing pies, tarts, or quiches, you must check out this book- Helen Nugent is a true magician and everything she creates is almost too beautiful to consider eating). Also, it's gorgeous outside! I've been pretty down the last few days missing my good friend who passed earlier this year, but I feel her here with me today saying "come on Claire Bear, let's go sit outside on the deck, it's so beautiful out today!" I realize this is a bit a rambling post, but my point is that today is the beginning of another beautiful season and I am so thankful to be here to appreciate it. Also, I love you all and I hope you are all having an absolutely wonderful day. ❤️🧡💛 #happyfallyall #autumn https://www.instagram.com/p/CFdAI4DgYFZ/?igshid=1p0kr9ra5kenu

[clairetheanimal]

#Repost @death_andthe_maiden https://www.instagram.com/p/CFIaPPwg0QO/?igshid=rz82q9og1zzr

[clairetheanimal]

[clairetheanimal]

Little Zelda had a busy day today- she got her first collar and tag, went to lunch, made even more new friends and met her auntie Dottie (who was super sweet with her!). Now it's time to pass out on the couch for a while with her little beans in the air. 😂 https://www.instagram.com/p/CCm4JdJAn-b/?igshid=aeua7b4d9zar

[clairetheanimal]

Just got home! I believe this is her first time playing in grass, and she loves it! I imagine we'll be spending a lot of time out here... 🥰 https://www.instagram.com/p/CCcLS7BFei-/?igshid=1bvrgwkv44cet

[clairetheanimal]

PUPPY DAY!!! Everyone, this is Zelda- she's an Augie (Corgi/Australian Shepherd mix). So far we've determined she likes neck cuddles and stringy things (paper bag handles, zipper pulls), and she's totally great riding in the car! More videos and pics to come. 😍🤩🥰 https://www.instagram.com/p/CCcEPk9FFek/?igshid=1l3um9nqvdzk4

[clairetheanimal]

Please yes. 🙏🏻 https://www.instagram.com/p/CCAin3XAqQf/?igshid=15hlhvoicgr9r

[clairetheanimal]

🤷🏼‍♀️ https://www.instagram.com/p/CB3xGb9gqpI/?igshid=gimxkjzj11ck

[clairetheanimal]

First breakfast out in months, YES!!! 🤩🤩🤩 (at Harvester Restaurant) https://www.instagram.com/p/CBgLcCVgY7d/?igshid=5f5bxbczs6r4

[clairetheanimal]

#seriously https://www.instagram.com/p/CBMK9AUgxS-/?igshid=17ccrqo89xv0j

[clairetheanimal]

[clairetheanimal]

#blacklivesmatter #enough #inactionisaccesory https://www.instagram.com/p/CA7Qxi-A3OF/?igshid=1hsbn1w3uq6an

[clairetheanimal]

Well, we fell off the home cooking wagon there for a while but now we're back on again! Homemade ham egg bites with corned beef hash and fruit for breakfast, and marinated raspberry chicken with bacon brussel sprouts for dinner outside at the fire table- yes please! 🤩 Thank you to my wonderful, amazing, super thoughtful husband @oleary1183 for taking such good care of me and making these things happen! 💖💖 https://www.instagram.com/p/CA5vcvBA7_-/?igshid=111jk18a5vyb1

[clairetheanimal]

My momma is the best- thank you so much @crb562, they're beautiful!! I love you! 😻🤩❤️ #flowersarelife #brightenmyday 😊💖 https://www.instagram.com/p/CA5txiVA1QN/?igshid=1lxkrzjsr3n04