Through the Looking Glass

This blog addresses the issue of homophobia and the lack of discussion thereof within the South Asian community. Due to this lack of discussion and outreach, gay, lesbian, bisexual, and trans Sikhs often face a sad dichotomy. There is a notion that if you are out, there is absolutely no way to keep your religious faith, driving many Sikhs to remain in the closet, or abandon their faith to be accepted. My goal is to share my personal tug-of-war within society and reach out to my brothers and sisters and let them know they are NOT alone. We do not have to conform to this dichotomy. You can be who you are and still be proud of where you come from, all while keeping unbroken faith in Akaal Purakh. Be sure to stay tuned. :) Feel free to follow me on Twitter (@GaySingh_). Read my coming out story: Part 1: bit.ly/11U4C8Q Part 2: bit.ly/UDOScK Part 3: bit.ly/TTd0Xh Part 4: bit.ly/WX8Lc2 Part 5: bit.ly/XVwBnW Waheguruji Ka Khalsa, Waheguruji Ki Fateh. -Clandest Singh PS: In case anyone was wondering, my name is a play on the word "clandestine." Search it up. ;)

[clandestinesingh]

Gurfateh everyone,

So as you know, I have stopped posting on this blog. I have tried coming up with posts, but for the most part I feel like the blog has done its purpose- which was to share my story and let you know you are not alone.

I will leave this blog up, but it will not be so active. If you would like to keep up with my antics, please feel free to follow me at my non-anonymous blog, kaagazkalam. Any anons that have been left to be answered, I will answer on that blog. :)

Well I guess that’s it. Clandest Singh is no longer clandestine. Thank you everyone for the awesome journey, and I hope you will join me on my other blog for rants and raves ona whole series of different topics. :) My inbox is always open to you as well. So please feel free to reach out.

Wishing you all the very best,

The Now Not So Clandestine Clandest Singh :)

[clandestinesingh]

Also, please stop quoting Gurbani pangtiyaan that talk about husband-and-wife. You and I both know that the line is an allegorical explanation for the relationship our soul (the bride) has with our Lord (the Groom). 

Guru Granth Sahib Ji isn't a book of laws.

[clandestinesingh]

Certain people claim to be attempting to "move the Panth forward," but can't get past the notion that two people who love one another should have their union blessed by Guru Maharaaj. 

As progressive and as open as this person might pose themselves, they are the same old face of homophobia behind a newer mask.

[clandestinesingh]

It's all fine and dandy to make videos about parental support for LGBTQ+ youth. However, can we also have resources to help kids whose parents don't end up that supportive? 

There doesn't seem to be much out there.

[clandestinesingh]

Hey Brother, I just wanted to know if you could help me understand what 'Fear of God' means? I'm having a hard time understanding it. Simply because I believe that God is benevolent, and if we are not to fear one another, isn't that contradictory since we all have God within us? I'm just having a hard time with that concept.

Heyy!! I don’t want to be rude, but I am going to defer this question to kaagazkalam if that's okay. He’ll be able to answer in a better context. :)

Wonderful question though!!

[clandestinesingh]

are there any other south asian queer people on here you would recommend?

Hi! I know a few, however I'm not sure if they are out or if they are comfortable being named, so I'm going to say the following: 

If you are brown and you are queer and you are on tumblr and are comfortable with people following your blog, please give me a message. :)

[clandestinesingh]

Stop whining about not being accepted by the gay community. We aren't racist, we just like people to integrate. Being gay isn't a choice, but being Sikh is. If you're bothered so much by racism, why don't you just take off that turban and trim your beard?

Thank you for proving my point. :)

[clandestinesingh]

Hello brother ji!! I just wanted to say I love your blog. Thank you so so much for realizing the lack of discussion regarding LGBTQA individuals in the South Asian community. And thank you for doing something about it, and being there for those who can finally have someone to talk to and relate to! :') Thank you!! Thank you very much!! This makes me very happy!!

WJKK WJKF!! 

Thank YOU for your love and support pehnji! :) Guru Sahib has given me a medium to express myself and being able to help fellow sisters and brothers is a blessing. 

I definitely think that we need to create a discussion of homosexuality within Sikhi, but I also believe that more work needs to be done to talk about intersectionality and being a POC and visibly religious in the LGBTQ+ community. A lot of "pinkwashing" goes on in which a Western hegemonic paradigm is imposed and everyone is expected to follow it. It's ironic that the same community that fights conformity in heteronormative culture is forcing it's own members to conform to a model of Western (mostly white-based) homonationalism. It's really sad and honestly it feels like people like us get stuck in a weird tug-of-war of oppression. haha.

Anyway, apologies for my ranting, and thank you so much again for your support. :)

Gurfateh,

Clandest Singh

[clandestinesingh]

Can you search up basics of sikhi, and their video in Calgary on homosexuality in Sikhism? They barely touch the topic and get awkward about it, but I just want to know what you think of what they say. It's the Q&A one

Hi there! I've actually done a piece on that particular video on this blog previously. You can check it out HERE. :)

I think that video was very poorly done, and honestly speaking, it shattered my heart. Have you seen College Humor's video "Diet Racism"? Well that Q&A series was Diet Homophobia.

Gurfateh,

Clandest Singh

[clandestinesingh]

Previous Parts:

Part 1: bit.ly/11U4C8Q

Part 2: bit.ly/UDOScK

Part 3: bit.ly/TTd0Xh

Part 4: bit.ly/WX8Lc2

———————-

It was 5:40am. I had been up all night. I stood at the kitchen counter, the knife pressed to my left wrist. It felt like I had horse-blinders on. All I could focus on was...

[clandestinesingh]

If you haven’t done so already, please check out the previous parts:

Part 1: bit.ly/11U4C8Q

Part 2: bit.ly/UDOScK

Part 3: bit.ly/TTd0Xh

It had been a long treacherous week. Everything I did was under the watchful eyes of my mother and uncle. Several attempts to sneak my phone away from its...

[clandestinesingh]

If you haven’t done so already, please check out the previous parts:

Part 1: bit.ly/11U4C8Q

Part 2: bit.ly/UDOScK

——————————————-

CAUTION: This part contains scenes emotional abuse.

——————————————-

She folded the paper back up and tore it into pieces, throwing it away. She looked back...

[clandestinesingh]

If you haven’t gotten a chance to read Part One yet, please check it out: http://bit.ly/11AzuQx

———————————————-

I would beg God to take it away, to make me straight. I would give anything, anything for it to go away, anything for me to just be normal, anything to stop being who I was ashamed of...

[clandestinesingh]

You typically hear people talk about how they always felt a little different, how they always kind of felt a sense of disconnect from the “norm” of society. I was no different, for as long back as I can remember, I was that kid that oddball kid who never quite fit in with the crowd, always on the...

[clandestinesingh]

Coming Out Story

Several of you have been asking for my coming out story, and rather than linking individuals to the story, I though I should just reblog the story part by part. I have them all queued up, so watch for them on your dashboard!

Gurfateh,

Clandest Singh

[clandestinesingh]

You are a brave, thoughtful, and beautiful person. This is rare and under-appreciated in the world at large. I hope you are well.

Waheguru. I cannot tell you how much these messages mean to me. Daily life often feels like a war, but sangat truly makes it all better. Thank you. <3

I am incredibly well my friend. :)

Gurfateh,Clandest Singh

[clandestinesingh]

So because you're gay, do you believe you have to live in a life of celibacy? Are you never going to get married, no Anand Karaj?

Nope! I do not believe I need to live a life of celibacy. That being said, I will stay remain within maryada and only keep that between me and my wedded spouse- which answers your second question. No, I do not believe I need to refrain from an Anand Karaj.

It is one of the 5 sanskaars in a Sikh's life, and it is my right to be able to have it. If I do not end up getting married, that's Maharaaj's hukam. However, I do not believe a Sikh should be stripped of their right to a sanskaar. 

Gurfateh,

Clandest Singh