The Girl Who Wanted to Be God

sc_online_t(1072167,"fell down the rabbit hole","#4d2157"); Tumblr Users Online Counter Clare by name, plenty more by definition. A grade 12 at Degrassi, which means close, but so far from the freedom I crave. Sometimes I feel out of my element, and I'm convinced that I was born in the wrong era, but friendship is universal, so don't be afraid to start a conversation, or maybe we can start a book club. Everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. -Sylvia Plath

[clarethecapulet-blog]

✉ miles ⇄ clare

Clare: You're clearly a freak of nature.

Clare: Getting pregnant isn't hard, it's actually dealing with how much it sucks.

Clare: [Read 6:13PM]

Clare:[...]

Clare: [Read 6:46PM]

[clarethecapulet-blog]

✉ miles ⇄ clare

Miles: I'm sure he won't be surprised.

Miles: I'm keeping this message so he knows you referred to him as a turkey.

Miles: Is that who you're talking about?

Clare: I'll say you called him short, too.

Clare: That's what it feels like, a giant, million pound turkey.

Clare: [Read.]

Clare: I guess.

[clarethecapulet-blog]

✉ miles ⇄ clare

Miles: The Grinch is also a cartoon. Hunter is far less three-dimensional.

Miles: I think we shall.

Miles: Goldsworthy. Stop playing coy.

Clare: I'm telling him you said that.

Clare: This turkey has three more months to cook, you'll lose interest.

Clare: Oh, what about him now?

[clarethecapulet-blog]

✉ miles ⇄ clare

Miles: You looking for me to get punched?

Miles: Very true. I can only /imagine/ you drunk. Kinda funny.

Miles: Nah. The other villain.

Clare: The Grinch's heart grew three sizes, Hunter's can too.

Clare: I think I embarrass myself plenty sober, let's not up that.

Clare: Umbridge?

[clarethecapulet-blog]

✉ miles ⇄ clare

Miles: He doesn't. Everyone gets that you're not going through anything easy. I can talk to him again for you if you'd like?

Miles: Drinking /while/ pregnant could up that, Edwards.

Miles: Like, your dad...? Or you know who?

Clare: Yeah, hug him for me too?

Clare: I didn't drink before I got pregnant, wouldn't be much fun to start now.

Clare: Voldemort?

[clarethecapulet-blog]

✉ miles ⇄ clare

Miles: You can't make yourself feel guilty forever.

Miles: Gotta keep an eye out for you.

Miles: What do you have going on?

Clare: I love Hunter, I wouldn't ever want him to think I would do something like that on purpose.

Clare: I'm already pregnant, I can't get in much more trouble.

Clare: Dad stuff.

[clarethecapulet-blog]

✉ miles ⇄ clare

Miles: That's a good start. I'm sure he'll be fine eventually.

Miles: Just to throw one, I suppose. You can always attend if you so choose. Just no booze for you. ;)

Clare: I'm going to feel bad for the rest of my life, though. As long as he's talking to me.

Clare: Well that one's a dealbreaker, I don't set foot at any party without the promise of at least a quart of dark liquor.

Clare: Depends when it is, this weekend is already booked for me.

[clarethecapulet-blog]

✉ miles ⇄ clare

Miles: I didn't think you were. Guilty or something, Edwards?

Miles: Yeah, at least...

Miles: Nonetheless, I'm sure I'll find some /legal/ extracurricular to participate in. Maybe I can talk the twins into letting me throw a party.

Clare: No, just letting you know.

Clare: He's coming around. He's at least answering my texts again.

Clare: Legal is good, yes, and what exactly would the party be in honor of?

[clarethecapulet-blog]

✉ miles ⇄ clare

Miles: Don't be?

Miles: I'm not exactly his favourite person to spend time with.

Clare: I'm not trying to ignore you.

Clare: At least you didn't push him into a wall.

[clarethecapulet-blog]

✉ miles ⇄ clare

Miles: Too busy for a quick text??

Miles: Swell, sure. Turning to dust from boredom.

Clare: Sorry.

Clare: I'm sure Hunter is always up for video games, is he home?

[clarethecapulet-blog]

✉ miles ⇄ clare

Miles: Hello??? It's me

Miles: I'm kidding. Adele's new album is pretty good tho.

Miles: What's going on in Edward's world? Haven't heard from you in a bit.

Clare: [Read 8PM]

Clare: Hey. I've been busy, sorry. How are you?

[clarethecapulet-blog]

i’m your mars | miles

As frantic and fast-paced as the journalism world was, Clare didn’t think it would be possible not to love it. Her job was truly a thing of happiness for her, falling more and more with each weekday shift. She was lucky, she realized, both for loving her job and finding it straight out of college, a rarity for even the most dedicated of writers. An average Tuesday morning, Clare swiveled her chair to and fro, transcribing notes from her most recent interview. That was the part she liked most, and an area her employers knew she excelled at, so it was no surprise when another assignment landed on her desk. There was no subject name, but a handwritten footnote from a Senior editor, reading: “he’s hot, he writes, figured this one was up your alley”. Her face skewed at the annotation, taking it with a grain of salt before looking through the accomplishments of the mystery piece. There weren’t a lot of details, other than the article being a pre-release piece for an up and coming author. The book was untitled thus far, but was about a tumultuous upbringing and neglectful family, bringing Clare’s mind back to the footnote. “Yeah… like I haven’t had enough of that,” she muttered to herself, aimlessly gathering her materials. Padding the address into her phone, she headed out of the office towards the location inscribed, soon pulling into the winding driveway. To the steps she bounded, lifting a loose fist to knock.

[richboymileshollingsworth-deact]

Being an Author, Miles had always hated the attention brought with it. The press, the interviews, book signings, he always found it useless. Especially if it had to deal with his upbringing. He was both nervous, and worried about doing this interview. Even though it wasn’t his first interview, he still felt a sense of worry. After getting changed into a nice suit and tie, he looked at himself in the mirror of his fancy bathroom, and rehearsed everything that he was going to tell the reporter. He had to choose his words very carefully, because he knew how reporters could twist them around. He heard a knock on the door and he walked out of the bathroom, fixing his tie as he was walking over to the door. Once he got there, he let out a sigh before opening it. “Hello! Welcome!” He started before even realizing that the woman standing infront of him had been his ex. Once he saw her standing there, he went silent for a few seconds before inviting her inside and then closing the door behind her.

[clarethecapulet-blog]

Clare had learned long ago that interviews could take quick twists and turns, but it'd never been an issue remaining professional in any discontented situation. This wasn’t a scenario she ever saw herself placed in, thrust back not only into the same small world as her ex-boyfriend, but in the same room. She kept a polite smile as the door swung open before her, her face instantly dropping at the reveal. “You’ve got to be kidding me...” she murmurs, letting out a tiny scoff. Clutching her briefcase, it didn’t seem like a plausible escape to turn back around, so she followed Miles’ lead inside, suffocated by the atmosphere inside. “So you’re my subject,” she noted flatly, lingering close to the door.

[clarethecapulet-blog]

by the banks of your dilemma | Cam

It wasn’t as though Clare was against the idea of volunteer work, but fulfilling such hours inside the very school that was doling out her punishment wasn’t the best case scenario. Admittedly, she got off easy, an impulsive offense that easily could have landed her in water much hotter than being a grade nine welcoming committee, but the fact remained that this was a pain. Sucking it up for the time being, Clare donned her cheerful welcome wagon t-shirt and made her way to the Caf to await the new students. As they filed in, Clare’s eyes scanned the group, taking in the hopeful jocks, the algebra enthusiasts, the girls who were in for a long lecture on dress code, and everything in between. A straggler caught her eye, settling on the boy towards the end. He was certainly dressed the part of one of the jocks, but lacked the demeanor. Instead he seemed distant, willing to be looked over if it meant avoiding human contact. Clare was known to read far too much into things, and she shook it off, figuring this was another case. “Okay guys, hi, I’m Clare. Welcome to Degrassi. I’m gonna assign you into a few groups and then split you up between the other helpers to show you around.” Greeting underway, she began to hand out assignments, grouping students to council members and leaving herself the last few students. “Okay, so that leaves Hannah, Julie, Marcus, Pheobe and Cam. You guys can come with me,” she smiles, leading the way.

[clarethecapulet-blog]

i’m your mars | miles

As frantic and fast-paced as the journalism world was, Clare didn’t think it would be possible not to love it. Her job was truly a thing of happiness for her, falling more and more with each weekday shift. She was lucky, she realized, both for loving her job and finding it straight out of college, a rarity for even the most dedicated of writers. An average Tuesday morning, Clare swiveled her chair to and fro, transcribing notes from her most recent interview. That was the part she liked most, and an area her employers knew she excelled at, so it was no surprise when another assignment landed on her desk. There was no subject name, but a handwritten footnote from a Senior editor, reading: “he’s hot, he writes, figured this one was up your alley”. Her face skewed at the annotation, taking it with a grain of salt before looking through the accomplishments of the mystery piece. There weren’t a lot of details, other than the article being a pre-release piece for an up and coming author. The book was untitled thus far, but was about a tumultuous upbringing and neglectful family, bringing Clare’s mind back to the footnote. “Yeah... like I haven’t had enough of that,” she muttered to herself, aimlessly gathering her materials. Padding the address into her phone, she headed out of the office towards the location inscribed, soon pulling into the winding driveway. To the steps she bounded, lifting a loose fist to knock.

[clarethecapulet-blog]

looking for partners!

Eli, Jake, Miles, Drew, Owen, Cam or Liam preferred. Literacy and decent activity is a must. Willing to do any canon or AU plot, triggers/smut/dark themes, etc are fine. Mun is 18+. Message me if you’re interested!

[thatgirlwiththeissues]

[clarethecapulet-blog]

❛  i put the low in lonely : miles & clare

Miles: feared a lot of things. Whether that be his father, continuing to disappoint his family, losing Clare, or something as trivial as running up the stairs after grabbing a midnight snack out of fear of what was behind him, he could honestly tell you that losing his best friend was in the top three (if not the top two). It took a lot to shake the teen, but this was one thing that rocked his core in the worst way possible. Growing up was rough as it was, but he was past the point of options. If he didn't do this /now/, he wouldn't have her /later/, and that meant a hell of a lot more than his current petty attitude. "I'm not trying to hurt you." Miles confirms with a tight lip, knowing that was probably near to impossible to believe. His rants and rambles about the long haired male were out of his own bitter atrocity -- it had nothing to do with Clare, besides how he wished she hadn't stayed as long as she had. "I just -- the thought of him makes me see red. And when I look at you -- I just don't understand how a guy could treat you like that, and most importantly, how you'd put up with it. You're so strong. So independent and you're own person. I just assumed you'd realize that you deserve a helluva lot better than that. And it's probably not me." Talk about swallowing your pride. "Wait -- what do you mean 'a good thing'?"

Clare: was ready to relinquish any expectations for the rest of the day, the turn of events too sour to resurface from. Her words held too much gravity, the truth of it being that Miles' opinion came above any other. So, when it was a lowly one, it was a slow twisting knife. "I know," she sniffed, knowing deep down that the snide comments were never meant as a hit on Clare herself. "But it's still you. You always make me so happy, so when that goes bad, it's really bad." It doesn't seem worth it to hold back the tears now, letting them slip down her face as she bundles in her borrowed attire. Hearing him out, his sentiments cut her even deeper, and her tears are born of guilt now as he sings her praise. "Miles," she whimpers, not immediately recognizing the emotion welling in her chest. She's faltering, her head as much a mess as her appearance, but all she knows is how badly she just wants to be able to hug her best friend. It was questionable what she initially meant regarding Zoe, but she decided to run with it. "Then you'll have someone else to focus on. You'll get closer to her and be less interested in me, so it won't bother you so much when I let Eli walk on me. I won't feel so bad about everything and nobody will end up in a pool," she shrugged, ignoring the disgust at her overly selfless suggestion.