*// &. ┋CLASS 'A' FUCK UP ! ❞

❛ I’M happening ; the great t o r n a d o that is miles hollingsworth III is screwing up his LIFE again ! ❜ ☠ indie miles hollingsworth iii from degrassi tng & degrassi next class. semi-selective.

[mhworth]

wow miles. i would die 4 u

[mhworth]

lowkey wanna bring this back

[rosesandrelics-deactivated20190]

Visit Original Link

[mhworth]

paragraphs x blackbear

[mhworth]

⊰ *! GRACE. ⊱

Thinking to Miles’ friend, Grace couldn’t help but roll her eyes. She was doing her best to fit into his life – to get along with people she normally wouldn’t give the time of day ( like Frankie and Winston ) and to hold back any comments she would have normally made. But she wasn’t always great at hiding her distaste for someone – and Winston was certainly on her list. ❝ Okay, he’s much worse than you. Start taking his hand-me-downs, and you and I might need to have a talk. Especially those horrendous flamingos, ❞ she laughed. Thinking about what he said, she shook her head. She was the never kind of person who liked to rely on ANYONE, even if they gave her plenty of reasons as to why she should. She was more concerned about making sure people could rely on her, and when it came to her own issues – who CARES? Why put the burden on someone else? It wasn’t comfortable for her, and her parents didn’t exactly teach her much about having trust in others. And she didn’t want him to feel like he needed to support her in able for her to survive – even if that was almost exactly what she was preaching at him.  When the desire was turning into a necessity, that’s when she knew she was in too deep and should calm it down – but every passing week, Miles was giving her another reason as to why she DID need him around. Even Zig and Tiny were commenting on just how less BITTER she had been since she started dating him ( though those weren’t the exact words they were using ). Was that really how this worked? A person’s presence in your life could completely change your mood around? She always believed that she could be CONTENT with whatever was happening in her life, based on how she dealt with it; not how having someone else around could affect her mood. But Miles was proving her wrong, and she was so scared that after all this time building herself up to believe that she was her own person and didn’t need anyone else to define who she was, she would lose it all to him. And if things turned rocky between them and she did let him slip – who would she be AFTER that? Could she really assure herself that she could be the same strong, independent Grace she had always been? ❝ We walk together, ❞ she answered simply, not wanting either of them to feel like they NEEDED to protect the other ( though she would protect him with every fiber of her being, no matter what ). ❝ But the same goes for you, y’know. Don’t be afraid to ask. ❞ It seemed like she was often telling him NOT to do something that she herself would do EXACTLY that way – but it was because she related to him all too well. Raising her brows, she shot him a look for a moment before speaking. ❝ You think you can handle me NOW? It’s still early, ❞ she joked. As they walked through the doors of Degrassi and reached the outside, she was relieved to get away from such confining walls and just be with him. Shooting a glare his way, she laughed, ❝ Darlin’? Stepping into some weird territory here, pumpkin, ❞ she taunted back, giving his hand a small squeeze. ❝ That’s ME. Heartwarming, truly. ❞ Walking down the steps of Degrassi, she realized this might be the first time she was skipping class for something as simple as THIS – rather than just because she didn’t feel like going or was trying to avoid something. Almost refreshing. ❝ To the Dot. We’re sure to get away from everyone we know there, right? ❞ she questioned, the sarcasm evident in each word. 

He felt bad, ( almost ) —- no one actually LIKED Winston Chew, they usually just put up with him for the fact that they knew he was Miles’ best friend. But, that also probably depends on what your definition of ‘ best friend ’ is. Knowing someone since their diaper days didn’t count for the title in Miles’ eyes ; but he kept him around simply because he didn’t have anyone else ; or he hadn’t before Grace. It was shallow, but it wasn’t like Winston had anyone either —- on the bright side of things, it seemed as if they were using each other. That made it a little better, right ? ❝ I’ve got about a foot on that guy. If you think I could fit into his clothes, you’re severely mistaken. ❞ Winston wasn’t the worst guy around —- he usually had Miles’ best interest at heart and more often than not, he kept him from doing something STUPID ( i.e., making out with Zoë Rivas at his house party when he was still dating Maya ). He wasn’t the coolest guy around, and he more often than not just ended up making situations AWKWARD for Miles, but he wasn’t the worst —- to Miles, that was Zig Novak. God forbid the day he ever scrounges at the bottom of that barrel for friendship. However, with Grace being one of his BEST FRIENDS, that day might be coming a hell of a lot sooner than he wanted. But just like he had tried with him for Maya, he’d do the same for Grace. If Zig didn’t want to try to be civil ( for the second time around ), then that wasn’t Miles’ problem. Maybe the ( girls ) in his life would finally see that he wasn’t worth keeping around. All he did was whine anyway. ❝ I figured. The only thing I AM scared to ask you, ❞ he pauses, hoping to add for dramatic effect. Taunting her was fun, and it kept things INTERESTING. After all, that was how this relationship started ; getting under each others skin, putting them on edge. ❝ Is to share your poutine with me. I know better. ❞ Shaking his head, he’s still smiling. Grace was a handful, but not nearly as daunting as what he saw in himself. She had issues, but so did he. To Miles, it was a lot more daunting to date someone without a lot of baggage, because that just meant his felt TEN TIMES heavier that it had originally. She made him feel important and useful, like it was detrimental to keep him around. That’s what he liked most. ❝ I think I’ll be just fine. Thanks for the faux concern, though. ❞ He’s got a snarky smile on his face, beaming down at her pridefully as they walked hand in hand through a sea of other students. Maybe they didn’t stand out, or maybe they did. Regardless, he felt as if it were just the two of them. ❝ Pumpkin ? Too far, Cardinal. Mine was semi-cute, but PUMPKIN ? You’ve got to brush up on your pet names. ❞ Of course he was pulling her chain, but ‘pumpkin’ did sound like something his mum would call him when he was younger. ❝ Oh, for sure. Yeah, I’ve never heard of anyone from Degrassi hanging out there. I think we’ve finally found our sweet escape. ❞

[mhworth]

⊰ *! STRANGER. ⊱

“ i’m lost.” Amity admitted defeatedly.

❝ that blows, ❞ miles chuckles to himself, wondering just WHO she was talking to. then again, if he kept up his fit of giggles, it’d make it even more obvious that he was h i g h at school. ❝ who are you talking to, the wind ? ❞

[mhworth]

✉ miles ⇄ clare

Clare: I'll say you called him short, too.

Clare: That's what it feels like, a giant, million pound turkey.

Clare: [Read.]

Clare: I guess.

Miles: Everyone is short in comparison to me.

Miles: Ew. I once called getting pregnant a challenge, but I digress.

Miles: You guess? What the fuck is going on?

[mhworth]

⊰ *! BECKY. ⊱

becky had been desperate to speak to miles for WEEKS – and now this was the way she got it? it was frustrating, to say the least. but embarrassment was a constant emotion she held around him to begin with; she never knew what she was doing and was always waiting on him to help her out. it grew tiring, wondering if he genuinely thought she  was sweet with her innocence or if he found it annoying. but she didn’t want to be like that anymore – she wanted to be in control of her own actions and KNOW what she was doing, so when that situation prompted next ( if it EVER did ), she would be ahead of the game. ❛ just – can you stop? you of all people.. i thought wouldn’t bug me about this, but you did tell me that i don’t know you as well as i thought i did… ❜ she trailed off, letting out an exasperated sigh. she went silent with his next words, her face burning up EVEN MORE ( if possible ) with the compliment. shifting her weight between her flats, her hands clasped together tightly and she slowly looked back up at him. ❛ you don’t have to say that to make me feel better, or.. whatever. i did a stupid thing because i FEEL stupid lately, okay? about so many things. ❜

it was funny, you had to admit. anyone else could of easily laughed it off ---- but becky baker had a reputation of being the pristine preachers daughter, and guys were cruel. now that he thought about it, he might just sign up to be her personal body guard until the next degrassi scandal breaks. but miles had sufficiently ruined that reputation of hers in a matter of weeks, and he was continuing to ruin it even after he had dispersed from her company ( not that he was aware of that currently ). ❛ i’m not bugging you. i’m just messing around. ❜ not exactly the time, man. he sort of hopes that his light-hearted nature would make this an easier pill to swallow, but per usual, he seems to only be making matters worse. ❛ i’m not pitying you. that’s not something i do with anyone. ever. ❜ even if she didn’t know him all that well, that was a word miles knew he could keep without hesitation. if miles ever had sympathy for you, it was because he cared. he’d never pity a cause, or a person. ❛ yeah, i get that. looking up porn isn’t dumb. keeping it UP on your computer, though... ❜ trailing off, he awkwardly places a palm to the back of his neck, ❛ it’s not a big deal. people will forget about it, yeah ? don’t beat yourself up. ❜

[wordsnquotes]

You are damaged and broken and unhinged. But so are shooting stars and comets.

Nikita Gill, “Shooting Stars and Comets” 

[stydixa]

[mhworth]

⊰ *! GRACE. ⊱

Something about seeing that smile made her feel so much more at ease than she would otherwise. Maybe it was the rarity of it – sure, she had seen it plenty of times before, mostly from when he was making jabs at her and was a little too proud of what he had come up with, or even just before they started dating, when it was all just about the sex. But seeing it now ( after all that had transpired ) and knowing that SHE – somehow – was the reason behind it made her feel like she was actually worth something to someone. Tugging on the material of his shirt as she moved in towards him again, she chuckled back at him. ❝ Yeah, well Frankie doesn’t dress much better either, ❞ she teased – her style clearly much DIFFERENT than the younger Hollingsworth. In fact, she related more to Hunter than any of the others. ❝ I’ve got nothing to say about your ass. Don’t want to feed your ego too much in one day. Gotta reel it back in, ❞ she joked. Shooting him a playful glare, she shook her head slowly. ❝ No, it’s not at all. But you could try for ME, ❞ she asked, lifting her shoulders hopefully as she laughed. The girlfriend role – it was still such a weird one for her, but she was beginning to get used to it. Or at least, as much as she could without going absolutely INSANE. ❝ No kidding. I think Degrassi needs a break from all the bullshit. But if anyone needs it the most, I’m thinking it’s you. ❞ And she meant that whole-heartedly; even she still felt weird supporting Miles Hollingsworth of all people this much. But really, he did deserve it – more than anyone. ❝ Trust me, there were plenty of times I thought about it. But I went easy on you – figured you couldn’t handle a girl like me, ❞ she teased him further, glad they were past that point now. Her arms rested comfortably around him as it seemed the two were finally in PEACE. Pulling back slightly, she looked up at him and kept the same smile spread across her face. ❝ Don’t tempt me. ❞ Regrettably pulling away from him, she did something she never thought she would do – especially in the halls of Degrassi. Sliding her hand down, her hand latched onto his, and she prepared to walk hand-in-hand with her boyfriend, like a normal high school student. ❝ You’re gonna be alright, you know, ❞  she reminded him as she began walking towards the door. ❝ And if you’re not, it doesn’t matter. ‘Cause you’ve got me, and I’ll listen to you whether you’re happy or you’re sad, mad.. frustrated, whatever. I won’t make you go through any of this a l o n e . ❞

Solace was not an easy thing to find, especially when you never went looking for it. “It's calm under the waves in the blue of my oblivion.” When your mind was dark and you often needed your own personal flashlight to shine awareness on your hidden issues, sometimes even then you’d still pretend not to see them. ❝ I feel like I don’t dress the WORST. There has gotta’ be some grade ten’s that put me to shame. Like Chewy, for example. His shirts have flamingos on them. But of any of us, she probably dresses the best. ❞ Why they were discussing his fashion options was still a mystery, but he didn’t mind ---- and he doubted Grace did either. As long as he was talking and keeping his mind off his father, he and Grace could talk about their wildest conspiracy theories and he’d give the conversation his all ; just like he had as soon as he noticed this was m o r e than random hook-ups, and that this was going to be more than her getting paid to destroy his father. A twinge of negativity crossed his mind ---- what if she ever thought that this was just some ploy to get her help whenever he needed ? That could make her question things, or worse, LEAVE. What would he do without her ? This was more than depending on someone, or having a person to confide in ---- this was Miles losing the best person he had come across to date. His life would turn to ruins. ❝ I think that answer alone was enough to give me what I need. If you want me to walk in front of you more often, all you have to do is ask. ❞ But they were figuring this out together, and Miles hoped that if she ever had any DOUBTS, she’d come to him first before just bolting. But he knew what it was like to be scared, especially when it came to matter of the heart and he wouldn’t ( blame ) her if she did. ❝ Honestly ? I didn’t think I could handle a girl like you, either. Turns out, I think I’m the only one that can. ❞ That was a big statement ; there was probably a hundred other guys that could do what he’s doing right now, but it was a feat in itself getting her ( and him ) to suck up their insecurities and jump into a relationship. These two people together had to have meant something. Before he knew it, they were walking hand in hand down the halls of Degrassi. Not that he paid any attention to the matter, but they probably looked like such a RANDOM pair. The rubber room’s own Queen of Darkness and Moneybags the III ---- sounds like a 80′s romcom script from John Hughes himself. Holy shit, were they Degrassi’s own Andrew and Allison from The Breakfast Club ? The thought alone made him chuckle silently. ❝ Well shucks, darlin’, ❞ Miles beams cheekily, holding the front doors of the school open for Grace before following behind, making sure not to break their linked hands, ❝ You sure know how to make a guy feel SPECIAL. And y’know what’d be even better ? You telling me where we’re going ! Balls in your court, Cardinal. ❞

[mhworth]

⊰ *! IMOGEN. ⊱

Coming out of the bathroom, Imogen rolled her eyes once seeing he was still there – waiting for her for whatever reason. “What are you still doing here ? I thought you would have ran out of here like last time,” she said, crossing her own arms and returning a very intense glare back to him. In her mind, he had no reason to be talking to her this way right now ( especially not after what she just did for him ). She might not have been as enthusiastic about it this time around, but did he really expect her to be ? He was always so mean to her. And although she knew ver well why that was, the excessive rudeness that went along with how he treated her in this arrangement was too much for her to handle. She knew she made a mistake with him before, but she was starting to see how even that didn’t excuse his actions. She needed to stop letting him walk all over her, because it wasn’t okay. She had been holding herself together, trying to be nice and understanding about this, but he was the one acting immature. “Hey, I never said you forced me. In fact, I never said one mean thing to you at all, so maybe you’re the one that needs to stop being in such a pissy mood,” she snapped, still glaring at him. “So, good for you, you didn’t force me to do any of this ! But don’t act like you’re any better of a person when you pretty much do nothing but go out of your way to make me feel like I’m nothing more than a mouth to you.” Imogen rarely lost her composure like this. She couldn’t even remember the last time she was this angry, but now that she was here, she couldn’t just go back to smiling at him or giggling it off anymore. “I know what I did was stupid, and I’m sorry. I’ve been trying to show you that, but you don’t seem to get it because you’re still so mean, so I’m DONE trying. I’m done doing this. This was ridicules – I shouldn’t have even offered.”

“Uh, I’unno ?? Wanted to say thanks, I guess.” He really didn’t have a proper answer, nor a proper reason for why he was still hanging around. He had a slight bone to pick, but he found himself exhausted and his mind was hardly finding the energy to catch up with his body. Lips press together in a thin line ---- the moment had finally came where she wasn’t putting up with his attitude anymore ; not that he blamed her by any means. But her anger was subjective, as was his. They both had reasons to be pissed at each other ---- Miles’ were far less reasonable, though. He already had trust issues before what she did, but what was currently getting in the way ( of whatever this was ) was the fact he couldn’t accept her apology, or see the genuineness that was standing behind it. Once you screwed him over, he would hold a grudge. Yet when he screwed someone over, he expected his apology to be enough. The textbook definition of HYPOCRITE. “If you cared so much about how I treated you, you should’ve SAID something. You didn’t seem to care as long as I was giving you some sort of attention.” Bullshit. No one told Imogen he’d be this cold, but in his defense, he hadn’t been before her little journalistic adventure for the DTV. “How am I supposed to believe you, hm ?? You thinking blowing a guy is really ENOUGH to say sorry for fucking up his f a m i l y more than it already had been ? I’m treating you like shit because you LET me. You can’t honestly tell me you’re surprised.”

[mhworth]

✉ miles ⇄ clare

Clare: I'm telling him you said that.

Clare: This turkey has three more months to cook, you'll lose interest.

Clare: Oh, what about him now?

Miles: I'm sure he won't be surprised.

Miles: I'm keeping this message so he knows you referred to him as a turkey.

Miles: Is that who you're talking about?

[mhworth]

⊰ *! BECKY. ⊱

tightly crossing her arms over her chest, she stood uncomfortably in front of her ex-whatever. ❛ do you REALLY care? or are you just trying to get your jokes in before it’s too late? ❜ you could see her physically c r i n g e as he brought up the title of her latest search, and her eyes instantly flashed to the floor. ❛ it was – an ACCIDENT, it wasn’t me, it – you don’t understand… ❜ she stammered on, feeling her face get warmer as the blush spread across her face. shifting her weight between her feet, she slowly looked up at him and sighed. ❛ there’s no guy. and i don’t expect there to ever be one again after all of THAT. i just – i needed advice, i didn’t know what to do. ❜ her voice was small, and she knew she didn’t owe him any kind of explanation – but at the same time, HE was the reason she had found herself in that position.

rolling his eyes, he mirrors her ( dramatic ) body language. ❛ if i wanted to make a joke by now, i would’ve already. ❜ holding his hands up in innocence for a brief moment as if he was SURRENDERING, he quickly crosses his arms back over his chest, just as she had done. ❛ it wasn’t you...? ❜ his brow arches, his body leaning forward just barely toward her, obvious interest in what she had to say next. so far, the story unfolding was humourous at best, but he still felt bad. this was degrassi, after all. this would be nearly impossible to live down. ❛ so it was your lab partner, looking up porn on YOUR computer ? ❜ he’s not trying to be a douche, he promises. it’s just so e a s y to taunt her. a small chuckle falls between the two, his head finding interest in his shoes for a brief moment before bringing his attention back toward the blonde, ❛ i mean, from personal experience, i don’t think you need any advice. ❜

[mhworth]

⊰ *! ESME. ⊱

cut the sarcasm? as if that was at all possible for esme song. it was a coping mechanism – something she hid behind that made her feel so much more powerful than she really was. sarcasm showed that she was laid back and didn’t care what anyone else thought of her – even if it was the very thing she worried about. sure, she could try, but would it really be worth it? would it REALLY sooth him to a point where it wasn’t so hard for him to converse with her, or was it just going to make him lose all the interest he had in her that stemmed from this exact personally trait? “you want me to cut the sarcasm? then stop giving me reasons to use it,” she scowled, knowing she wasn’t saying anything to get him off her back – rather, just aggravating him even more. but there was something about the way that he always reacted that made it so difficult to stop. it didn’t make much sense; this was how she treated the people that clearly didn’t matter. tristan, winston, even miles’ siblings and really, anyone else that wasn’t someone worth her time. but miles clearly was, and he was right – she needed to tone it down and remind him of the esme he had ( somehow ) fallen for in the first place. “–i’ll tone it down.” she often wondered if she could really change – if she could crack her hard shell, throw away the sass, and be a NORMAL person, to everyone she came across. wouldn’t that make her life easier? – if she made it  EASY for people to like her, she wouldn’t have to work so hard for people to be intimidated by her. but she didn’t want to change, and she certainly didn’t know how. beyond that – actually accepting someone else’s help? i m p o s s i b l e. looking down as he continued to speak, she wondered how much truth there was in his words – but miles was SMART and far from naive. he was clearly willing to listen to her, through whatever it was she had to say – but the fear that he may not want to stick around once he heard it all was unnerving. “so that’s you? you want to be some version of my diary in hopes to cure me of whatever it is you think’s going through my head?” she asked, bringing her head back up to look at him. “maybe you’re right. maybe it would be much easier if i could just talk to someone. but that’s not as easy for me as it is for you. people leave, and whether or not you think you will at this point, it doesn’t matter. why should i add this heavy weight for someone to carry around with them, even if they’re miles and miles away from me – to never see me again? what happens then? is it even WORTH it, or am i just adding another thing to your plate that doesn’t benefit you at all? it only drags you down?” she let out a deep breath, shaking her head of the thoughts clogging her brain. truthfully, no one else had put this much effort in trying to get her to open up. the long list of therapists she had been through couldn’t even measure up – but esme was convinced that those kind of people truly DIDN’T care anyway. why should they? “then stick around,” she told him, her voice softer than before. “you’re a good thing.” a risky sentiment, but sometimes, she needed to share words like that to assure he’d stick around. she couldn’t push him TOO far away. watching his reaction to her small teasings, ironically, made it more difficult for her to concentrate. just knowing that she could get under his skin like that made her wish she could just get on with it – but the taunting was TOO GOOD.  she wanted the control – but that was impossible as he teased her right back. her entire body shuttered as she waited desperately for him to do just that. “you’ll see a lot more of that if you actually do it,” she muttered, a soft moan slipping from her lips as her hips move into his hands in reaction. she took a deep breath, debating her strategy as her tongue ran across her lips. “as you wish,” she whispered, moving her hand to the side of the seat and grabbing the lever to make the seat go down. as he laid down now and she was given more room to move around, she crashed her hips into his again. grabbing the waistband of her skirt, she pulled it up her body further, giving him all access to her legs underneath. “i’m not going to waste my time all day, miles,” she warned him ( though she WOULD – because the way she was feeling, it seemed worth it ). “why don’t you show me what you want? you’re the one preaching about how this shouldn’t be ONE sided,” she reminded him, bringing her hand in between their bodies and unbuttoning his pants. once she did, she slipped her hand inside and latched her hand on to him over his underwear. 

“stop looking for excuses to use it. you can’t use me as a cop out forever, song.” at times, miles wished he was as confident as he was once ---- when he first came to degrassi, he had no filter and said and did whatever he pleased ; but like a lot of people, he became a victim to time and it corroded away at his hard exterior, leaving him with little ( to no ) protection like he once had. it was only a matter of time before esme weathered the rest away ---- if she kept acting like this, that is. “we’ll see. i have a hard time believing people when they want me to take their word.” you could blame his father, or himself, even. he was the worst kind of person ---- the type that’d expect one thing out of someone, then went around and did the exact opposite himself. or at least he USED to be. he really was trying to be more trustworthy ; after the student council election, it frightened him how easily he could turn into his father when needed. like a switch, all the attributes he had picked up on over the years had surfaced. he could’ve been like that already for all he knew, just too oblivious to acknowledge the truth. regardless, he at least knew that he didn’t like it. that was something, right ? “i don’t want to be your diary,” he shakes his head briefly, wondering why it was so hard for her to get this potential idea through her bordered thoughts. “i want to be a sounding board. someone you can vent to, someone that c l e a r l y relates to you. maybe i don’t understand everything you’re thinking or going through, but i can try. and if you push me away, i can’t promise that i’m going to come back again. and from my own experience, being alone is a helluva’ lot worse than swallowing your pride and actually facing up to the mess you’ve made.” sighing, he made a note to himself to make this next sentence the last on the topic. swinging back and forth between ‘i want to fuck you’ and ‘i care for you and your mental health’ was a hard balance. “people become strangers all the time. people walk around with your history and your secrets and your demons and they just keep living. we all just keep living. i can’t force you to do anything, but you’re talking yourself out of a good thing.” he was a good thing for her, that much he was sure. he had his own issues and maybe too jagged people only cut each other in the end, but he could ( almost ) surely say that he just might’ve been the first person that had ever put this much effort into getting to know her. thankfully, she had made a move he hadn’t even thought of, releasing the drivers seat from its upright position and laying them back, making it ( almost ) like they were on some shitty leather couch. a really s m a l l couch. “where else are you gonna’ go, hmm ?” he prods, palms grazing the legs that seemed endless, a satisfied grin coming out of the wood works, “so you’re saying that you’ve got better plans ? i doubt it.” they each wore their arrogance proudly, playing fire with fire ---- both were bound to get burned. hips raise to help her unbutton his pants, not actually HELPING at all. he was already half-hard, the breathy moans they both exchanged along with the cat and mouse teasing was enough to get him started ---- but her hand was pushing the envelope. he yearns for friction, hips raising to meet her palm as his neck strains against the leather, his length growing harder in her palm. letting out a frustrated huff, one hand moves from her thigh to her backside, pulling his hand back just barely, sounding a ‘ smack ’ from his palm against her ass. his other hand skillfully moves beneath her skirt, thumb pressing against her clit through the thin fabric covering her, “i’m tired of your games,” his voice is low and husk, however his body was a lot less CONFIDENT then he appeared as he continued to work his lower half against her hand. moving his palms to her hips, fingers dig against her as he pulls her forward, strategically pulling her atop his arousal. his swollen head replaced where his thumb had been minutes prior, rutting against her, “however, i could play mine all day.”

[jkaw3]

Visit Original Link

[mhworth]

3005 x childish gambino

[mhworth]

⊰ *! GRACE. ⊱

While it might have been easy for Grace to consistently show her support for her friends and the people that were important to her ( Miles included ), this all felt so different. Mostly it was strange – all because it hit so close to home. Her friends had different issues – their latest break up, sibling rivalries, and in Zig and Tiny’s case, gangs. But she never directly related to any of it, only offering a shoulder to lean on and her best advice that she could muster up. With Miles, she connected with him on a much deeper level – one she could have sworn WASN’T there, just a few months prior. The way she saw him breaking down, and the his senses completely panicking and spiraling out of control was something she had experienced herself, and to have someone there next to her while it was happening was something she couldn’t imagine, but she always CRAVED, assuming it would have made for less sleepless nights. If she could help him at all just by being in his presence, then she had accomplished something.  ❝ Hey, whoa, ❞ she called out, placing her hand between them and patting his chest as she shook his head to disagree. ❝ Trust me, Hollingsworth, you do not want to test me on this one. You may be willing to parade around in those  embarrassing pants, but you could never truly measure up to me, ❞ she joked, subconsciously leaning into him even more. On the outside looking in, they were beginning to look more and more like a NORMAL high school couple, and had Grace realized it, she might have pulled back. But she was beginning to like it and familiarize with it. ❝ I’ve stuck around this long. I guess you could say that I’m finding it worthwhile. So maybe if you’d stop assuming you’ve got NOTHING to offer and actually believing that you’re good for me, we can be happy for once. ❞ It was a small stab at him, but he needed to hear it. He was always assuming the worst – and though Grace was no stranger to that strategy, she knew that credit needed to be given. ❝ Or – I hope that’s the case. ‘Cause we’ve dealt with too much crap this year, and I’m ready to move past it. ❞ Letting out a small laugh, she thought about her childhood and shook her head. ❝ Believe me, if you thought I was mean and bitter a few months ago, you would have never been able to handle me back then either. I guess things do really fall into place sometimes. ❞ The more she thought about it, the more she realized that conversations like this were rare for the two, mostly because neither of them found the topic EASY to discuss. ❝ Are you asking me to skip class? I’ve got a reputation to upkeep, y’know, ❞ she laughed, her smile widening as she finally felt relief, TRULY, for the first time all day. ❝ As long as you’re buying. ❞ And in a moment of weakness, she rested her head against his shoulder, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath as she silently reminded herself that it was all okay – SHE was okay, HE  was okay, and THEY were okay – at least for now, and she would take it. Because if he didn’t recover from this, she didn’t want to imagine how l o s t she would be. 

And there it is, a genuine smile on Miles Hollingsworth III’s face ---- what a rarity. Teeth and all. Could he actually be changing for the better ? Grace Cardinal was the last person on EARTH Miles ever imagined bonding with, let alone f a l l i n g for, but the world worked in mysterious ways, and now that he thought about it, he didn’t mind all its curiosities all that much. It kept him on his toes, and currently, it kept him happy and ALIVE. What was there all to complain about ? He couldn’t find ( any ) excuses, except for his father ---- but even then, Grace was giving him more reasons to look past that instead of to dwell, which was a miracle all on its own. Wearing a faux frown, his bottom lip protrudes outward in a childish fashion, ❝ Embarrassing ? Frankie told me that these pants were in. Plus, you’ve got to admit they make my ass look great. ❞ It might’ve been wrong to go cracking jokes after having a panic attack in the hallway of your school, but he really didn’t know any other way to COPE. The way Miles’ mind worked, he needed distractions and quick-fix methods to make things okay in that moment, otherwise, he really didn’t believe he could live through it. ❝ I suppose you could have a point. But is it really like me to admit that ? ❞ Of course he’s joking, feeling rather bashful and confident now that he’s standing here, out in the open for the world to see them ---- to judge them, to admire them, he didn’t care. He felt like he could do a n y t h i n g, anything at all. ❝ I’m hoping next year will be better for us. For everyone. ❞ It seemed as if every soul in their grade had been through a shit storm of drama this past year, and maybe things would start to look up over the summer. But that could just be a bit of Grace’s ( surprising ) optimism rubbing off on him. Talk about a turn of events. ❝ And if you thought I was an arrogant snob just this year, you literally would not have hesitated to kick my ass. ❞ Just from last summer in Paris, Miles had done a major deal of changing, and he was rather proud of how far he’d come ---- hoping it wouldn’t stop here. Arms coil around her waist as he pulls her closer, allowing her more access to rest her head upon his shoulder due to their major height difference, plus, it wasn’t like he minded having his hands on he at all. ❝ ‘Course I’ll buy. Whatever you want. Within reason, of course. ❞ And here they were, smiling and laughing as if they didn’t have a care in the world ---- five months ago, the thought would seem so out of place for Miles, and most likely Grace, too. Two glum souls that often trudged through the halls of Degrassi with despaired looks and mundane routines weighing them down ---- but it didn’t last, especially when they were around each other. All Miles could do now was hope that he could keep the ONE good thing in his life around, no matter what the cost. 

[mhworth]

⊰ *! ESME. ⊱

it was something esme often thought about – what it would be like to really find someone to confide in, tell all her secrets to, and truly put herself out there. no walls and no hiding. but she refused to do that even with a professional – someone who was required to keep her secrets and make her feel like she was in a SAFE place. she could never accept that fate, never believing that it would actually help her in any way. it wasn’t that she didn’t WANT anyone’s help, even if that was the way she carried herself – but she honestly felt like she was too messed up for anyone to truly save, even miles. but if anyone were to even see a sliver of her mind, he would be the chosen one ( or more likely, the v i c t i m of it all ). the more he warned her about the way she needed to change, the more she wanted to SCREAM back in his face – but that was only because each and every word he spoke was filled with t r u t h. “got it, boss. i’ll work on that,” she responded dryly. raising a finger, she waved it in the air. “you’re right about one thing – i do get what i want. and…” she trailed off, eyes looking upward momentarily as she gave it a moment, “maybe you’re right about the rest too. i’m good at distractions because i have to be. i’ve had plenty of time to train. but do you really believe that? that opening up to someone is actually HELPFUL? i mean it. do you honestly, truly think that unloading all your crap on another person is supposed to make it easier for you to deal with what you’re going through? because if you do, then – maybe i could try, but from where i’m sitting, it just seems so … anticlimactic, really,” she explained. anytime she really tried to open up to someone, it seemed that they were only being nosy, that they had nothing to really offer in terms of helping her ; or FIXING her ( if that was possible ).  “can’t you do both?” she responded immediately, wiggling her brows at him as she continued to taunt. if it wouldn’t hurt her own pride, she would have given in to everything he said – she would have admitted that he was right and this entire conversation would fizzle into a much happier, simple one. but what fun was it to make things so easy? “—right,” she muttered, HATING how much anger she felt towards herself, especially now that miles was reminding her of all her own issues. “deal. i’ll work on that,” she said quickly, taking a deep breath and giving him this little bit of hope in that he might actually learn to KNOW her. sitting in his lap in the front seat of his car, propped tightly between his body and the steering wheel, wasn’t exactly the most comfortable OR the most reasonable position to be in, but she was determined to make the most of it. forget who was inside the school or who could possibly walk out of it – she wanted to make this boy a prisoner to her body.  though her legs were already spread across him, they widened more at the touch of his palm on her skin. a light sigh spilled from her lips as the memories flooded black to her – all of their WILD adventures together suddenly so clear again. with her fingernails still grazing his skin, traveling aimlessly around before they dropped down, reaching the waistband of his pants. they slid underneath, but only BARELY, as she hoped to find a rise out of him. her fingers tugged on his waistband before lifting out of them, her hands moving to hold his neck as he pulled her into him again.  a moan came from her lips as she felt her entire body heating up, her hips slowly rocking against his. she pulled back from his lips, leaving soft, quick kisses against them for a moment before pulling back again. “c’mon, miles. stop wasting your time. you’re preaching to me about actually DOING something. so DO it,” she taunted, a hint of begging in her voice as she realized just how desperate she was for it all.  one hand trailed from his neck, down to the center of his chest as she quickly and carelessly worked through the buttons of his top. “remind me why i’m so H O O K E D on you.” 

the worst part about the future was that you had absolutely no control over it, and it’s outcomes were completely unknown ---- unless you were raven baxter, but that chance was ( extremely ) unlikely unless you had a personality disorder. his future with esme was a story that was still unfolding, and quite frankly he didn’t even think it was going to be one that’d continue, especially when he had promised a handful of people it wouldn’t. his plan coming back to degrassi was to get better, and no matter how good he felt NOW, he was actually w o r r i e d that he was stunting his growth by fooling around with her again. and maybe he was, but if she actually began to open up, wasn’t he helping her ?? things could be getting better. “cut the sarcasm, eh ? the least you could do for you ( and ) me is T R Y.” he wanted her to better herself, he wanted her to get better so they could be better TOGETHER, fuck the cliche for a minute. he was most likely wasting her time, esme hardly seemed like the type of girl that could change her ways ---- but he wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt here. if miles could find the effort to change, he honestly believed that anyone could. “i’unno,” he shrugs, “i looked at it the same way, sometimes i still do. but if someone is W I L L I N G to listen, then you can’t look at it like you’re the burden, no matter how much you may feel like one. they want to help, and you just push everyone that cares away if you try to be so self-sufficient. and it’s not like you won’t be, but you will need help at some point. can’t ignore it forever.” he was feeling more and more like his therapist as the time in this conversation-turned hook-up went on, but he was proud of what he was taking away from his sessions, and he wanted to share that with her, even if that didn’t go so well the last time. she would just MOCK him, call him weak ---- but it was worth a shot. if miles and esme didn’t pan out, then he could modestly and proudly say he tried to do what he could. miles wanted to believe that she meant what she said in terms of ( working ) on herself, but he had been deceived before and trust was always something that never came easy for him. he broke peoples trust and his had been broken before ; what a shitty cycle to be apart of. “i hope so. i want good things for you.” if her mind worked anything like his, she’d push away the sentiment and act as if it had never been heard, and he had never said it to begin with. he didn’t do well with serious and her certainly didn’t do well with feelings. the way they moved against each other was like a sly game of chess ---- each move was carefully ( and strategically ) planned to get under the other’s skin and make them feel more w e a k than the moment prior ---- and it was working. a single breath hitches in his throat as he fingers latch to the hem of his waistband, already hazy eyes becoming even MORE clouded with lust, slowly tracing from her hands to her middle until he eventually reaches her facial features, tongue resting in the corner of his mouth. “what if i like watching you squirm ? it’s nice knowing i’m the only one that can make you moan,” pausing, his hand just inches up a bit further, ‘accidentally’ grazing her heat before his hand retracts again, “you’re tryna’ taunt me to give in, but it’s not going to work. i think you’ve got to make it a little more obvious about what you want.”