"All up in that class." @classdownlow - Tumblr Blog

Maserati Highway Blowout

“Tell me more.”

My Maserati began purring words into my ear. I nodded intensely as each syllable left its grill: “Cut taxes… Spit upon the poor… If someone keys me, drag them into the yard of your 12 bedroom McMansion and paint your grass with their brains using your Remington. You’re an American hero. Show them your mettle.”

I couldn’t contain myself any longer. Unzipping my pants, I knelt down behind my deep blue Maserati and gently caressed the rear bumper as I positioned my 2.5" member behind the tailpipe.

“You naughty luxury combustion motor vehicle…” I whispered softly into the audio-sEnsitive backup camera. He could hear me. I know he could hear me. My unnecessarily expensive coupe knows English.

I came before I could penetrate the tailpipe. Bellowed laugher projected from my diagram as cum soiled onto the concrete. “This is why my trans poly pronoun-neutral partner left me.” I sobbed to myself under the limelight of taxpayer-funded streetlights. “Cum” I whispered once more.

I thought of the funny video on YouTube where they edited Kurt Cobain to say ‘cum’ to the crowd.

“Cum.”

thisiselliz

yeah

Broke is when today's newspaper is a towel and a dinner plate.

famous-wisdom-phrases

Don’t start thinking, stop thinking. Stop thinking about what you want. About your wife. Your kids. I thought about the iPhone. When I thought about the iPhone, I wasn’t thinking about my garden. I wasn’t thinking about my wife. Only iPhone.

Steve Jobs (via famous-wisdom-phrases)

butterbuttgoatblast-deactivated

Jesus Christ… He’s gone…

classdownlow

Finally this shitlord is dead

pale blog

anniesboobs:

Don’t judge me.

flowri

THE ONLY VINE THAT ILL EVER CARE ABOUT

clickholeofficial

mymangotree-deactivated20160622

weloveshortvideos

legalmexican

Ooooh get it debby!

mothmansbignaturals

you're too old to be watching cartoons

toocooltobehipster

nonethelis

It’s a TRAP

One year of 40 hours per week at minimum wage ($11.25) is:

~$17,500 (after taxes)

One year of rent ($800, a modest 1-bedroom rate), car insurance ($400, average Ontario male under 25), gas ($150), groceries ($200, and that's stingy), and phone and internet ($150) comes out to:

$20,400

That's $3,000 more per year to simply support yourself than a minimum-wage, full-time employee will make.

If you wanted to put away even $100 per month into a savings account, and give yourself a meager $100 weekly spending allowance, that number becomes:

$25,600

This is assuming you already owned a car, and that you don’t need to pay for a single maintenance service. Oh, you don’t own a car, you finance? At $300 per month, you say? Well, now your life costs: $29,200

You have a cat or a dog? Shit, you’re really living outside your means, huh? Your life now costs: $30,400

Oh, you want some cable TV?

$31,600

You have a prescription that isn’t covered by OHIP?

$32,800

You wanna buy your mom a Christmas present?

Fuck you. You irresponsible piece of shit.