You are recovering. You need to be kind to yourself and not forget that. Do not push away the kindness you receive, especially if it comes from yourself.

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You are recovering. You need to be kind to yourself and not forget that. Do not push away the kindness you receive, especially if it comes from yourself.
4/04/19 | instagram: astraeuz
The Alcoholic Brain
My thoughts of alcohol are very selective. I still put it on a pedestal. Daydreaming about the warmth in my stomach from those first few sips. The fuzziness in my head so I donāt have to CARE so much about things. The layers of shyness being stripped away and replaced with a new skin of confidence.
What I should be remembering is the pain. The spinning and the slurring and the throwing up. The anger and the screaming and the crying. The disorientation, the broken bones, the mental blackouts.Ā
What I should be remembering is waking up at 5am with my heart beating out of my chest and my anxiety so high I start to believe Iām dying.
I need to remember the shame. The endless apologies for words I donāt remember saying. The way my loved ones looked at me as they realized Iād let them down again. The multiple dangerous situations I put myself in that could so easily have ended up much, much worse.
I need to remember because my brain still tries to tell me I can have one drink. āJust have one! Youāll feel good, and then you can stop.ā When everything in my history proves otherwise, that small part of my brain is always whisperingĀ āthis time will be differentā¦ā
š Let go of negativity. Focus on the good.
Silver mounted and inlaid flintlock blunderbuss, Turkish, circa 1800.
from Czernyās International Auction House
28.03.19 || coffee, a good book and beach sunsets. nothing even comes close to that.
The reason why I can't finish my assignment on time
Itās natural, harmless, and even beneficial to the world as a whole for there to be non-grass flowers and plants in your lawn, caterpillars and beetles chewing on your shrubs and yes, even insects and arachnids living inside of your house. The vast majority have absolutely zero means of harming or even inconveniencing you and the sooner people get over the compulsion to keep a sterile, lifeless property the better it will be for the ecosystem.
@thefuturekept
A series of events:
1. I put in an Annual Leave request form almost 3 weeks ago and my boss has not approved it yet
2. I went into my office today and replaced every single writing utensil with crayons in preparation for April Fools Day on Monday
3. Whilst searching for pens to remove, I found my unsigned Annual Leave form in my bossās drawer
4. I placed my unsigned Annual Leave form in a photo frame and put in on his desk
5. The frame I used was from a photo of his kids that I deemed less important than my Leave form
6. My boss sometimes goes into the office on Saturdays to work
7.
I appreciate the context of 1-6 or else 7 might have had some very concerning implications.
okay so i know high school was bad but how the fuck did i used to do four 80-minute classes a day one right after the other five days a week. i just did 2 one-hour classes in a row and iām already exhausted. high school was Fucked Up
i finally finished setting up my workspace in my new apartment and honestly??? iām completely in loveĀ
As a kid i would imagine my future self studying in domed buildings, surrounded by oceans of books and inked words.
how come you only become aware of how tipsy you are in bathrooms
itās okĀ
You ever see a pretty dress, a well-organised notebook, a peculiar balcony or read one line of poetry and get the overwhelming urge to reinvent yourself
I love my university, our beautiful libraries and I am so grateful that I can study here