Ovid, inspire me as I recall the tale of a young man name Bruiser. Be sure I honor the Gods and stay course in my telling.
Bruiser, a young freshman at Belmont University, among many things was a procrastinator. Despite all the upperclassmen, all the teachers, and both his parents telling him to stay up on the work, he couldn’t help but fall behind. It wasn’t his fault he couldn’t keep up- he was just sleeping all the time. He’d just love to nap. Bruiser would wake up at 8AM and already by noon be ready to curl up in a ball, close his eyes, and fall asleep. Of course he had to go to lunch.
Bruiser arrived in the cafeteria with an idea in his head... “I know! If I eat as much as physically possible I won’t be hungry for dinner later. That means I can take a nap and still have enough time to get my work done!”
Before his friends could stop him, Bruiser load his plate with two thick patties draped in cheese between half inch buns, three pieces of pumpkin pie with three large globs of whip cream, twelve strips of flank steak, two hundred and sixteen fries, fifty seven leafs of salad, three hundred and two kernels of corn, thirty three green beans, seventeen scoops of three different ice-creams, and a thirty two ounce soft drink.
What Bruiser failed to realize was how so much food would make him extra tired, and when he took his 1PM time nap (as he does every day) he awoke to find he had slept through dinner...and the evening...and the night...and breakfast...and was already seventeen minutes late for his 8AM class.Â
Bursting into the room he quickly found his seat without a word of his tardiness from anyone.Â
“...I hope everyone had fun with the tumblr assignment...”
Now awakening from a food coma, Bruiser suddenly realized he failed to put up a single post the entire semester. After class he went to his teacher and explained his situation. Zach- I mean, his teacher- was not as forgiving as he hoped.
“You wait all year, eat like a gluten, and pass out in hopes of sleeping your way out of any work!?”
Next thing he knew, Zach- I mean, his teacher- had turned Bruiser into exactly what he was a bear.
“Now, get out of my sight. You can go sleep your way through the winter break too.”
Bruiser tried to speak, but could not utter a word of defense. The poor bear found his way out of the classroom and now wanders the campus as a reminder to students... don’t procrastinate.Â