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My lova š
hashhons
art by Justin Baehr
Dragonfly, 2013
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ābut Iām not yours to hold. My cold edges are not the ones you will prick your fingers in. My smile, even though sad, does not belong to you, as the reason behind it cannot be you. Iām not the one that should be able to close the black holes in your heart. Itās not me that should crave your smile and itās not I, that should fight for it. I refuse to be the bitter-sweet that lacks in her spicy mixture. I refuse to take part in someone Iāll never belong to. I refuse to be dragged in the mud again. My skin has turned marble again and I refuse to defile it for anyone but me. Iāll forget the doubt in your eyes when I look at your lips. Iāll forget the parts of you that I know far too well. Iāll forget that I was, and am, your āwhat ifā. And when doubt arrives and you look for comfort in my eyes, Iāll simply smile and cry inside, knowing that I have to keep my pride intact and step back. Iāll kiss your cheek and ask you to prove my doubt wrong. And I will walk away, hands holding myself, for I am my own true love, and this time, I wonāt forget.ā
ā Laura Pedro, Bitter-sweet (via sad-hippie)