Aish💥

livin a lil

[clearlytinyvampire]

Hi guys

I am sorry im not very consistent and kinda ditched this app. Hehe sorry

Today, I came back because instead of going to a therapist, I chose to rant here anonymously. I want to study at a university in another city. And my parents are like noooooo that's sssooooo unsaffeeeee , you dont know how cruel the reallll world isss (im a Southasian rapunzel).

We have been going on and off bickering because im deadset on that university cuz like its literally the best one out there. Why is everyone like that? Why can you not make an effort to get your head out? Why do I have to suffer because a lousy man is filled with ego and lust?

At instances like these, I want to simply stab myself in the heart and put an end to this drama. Its sooo frustrating and infuriating like hello? I can not even enjoy the mall alone with my friends, let alone travel alone. Like its sooo annoying. For once just for once, I want to live on my own terms, by myself, make my decisions, feel confident, and be on my own. The environment at home feels so suffocating with all the restrictions and other issues. For the past 3 years, I have wanted to move cities or country in the name of studies. Yes, I want good quality education, and yes, I want to be away from home while I get that.

The entire road map I had planned in my head for life seems to come to a crash, and I am powerless to work against it. It feels so unfair and enforced.

[clearlytinyvampire]

Hey yall,

I am almost done with my exams. There are only three left and they will take place in early June.

So for now I am FREEEIEE FREEIEE FREEEIE

But does that mean my life has gotten any easier? Buahaaha NO!

In fact, now I have to worry about internships, extra courses, university entrance exams, and SATs (maybe). I cant even make an impressive CV, the thought of interview sends chills through my spine (Im a softie :3). Asking for help is even harder like wdym I have to admit I can not ace all of this on my own. Theres sooooo much I have to do and I am still struggling with discipline and consistency.

I hope I figure all of this out and everything goes amazing. Cause I will crash out if it doesn't. Yall dont need to tell me how bad I suck, I know it. The only achievement I have would be my Olevel results. Can a CV be a one-liner? (^_^;)

Also, how the hell am I supposed to maintain a LinkedIn account. Yall are so demanding, but then there's so many overachieving nerds in my batch (no hate to them they are hardworking amazing ppl. I wish I could get some inspiration from them, but they're so cool how do I even approach😭).

Sidenote: I am rewatching wifty. AND, like, who decided to skip all of those fluffy high school moments from my life?? I also want an amazing cool group of friends. Hehe.

I may have used some excess minoxidil on my scalp, and now it itches :( so imma go

Love yall<3

[clearlytinyvampire]

I thought physics would be the end of me, but by some miracle, I am still standing. It's either because I am actually good at physics or the theory questions are relatively made easy.

IF I AM THE PHYSICS NERD (the possibility to it is like 10%) THEN HAVE I CONQUERED THE WORLD??

Because I think that people who are naturally good at physics are like super cool. Even though I am one of those maths nerds, for the whole year, I had such a hard time understanding the concepts of physics, especially the entire dynamics chapter.

The theory questions of physics are still easier than chemistry, so it's still a win🤭😛

[clearlytinyvampire]

My 5 year old nephew has "crazy hair day" at his school. Basically, you have to get creative and do something crazy with your hair.

Any ideas, yall, especially because my sister is one of those serious millennial mothers who have a lot on their plates. But I dont want my nephew to feel any less cool than his classmates. So if you have any easy ideas that would make a 5 year old lose his mind. Help a girl out, please ヅ <3

[clearlytinyvampire]

I have a chemistry exam tomorrow and I can not wrap my head around the million reactions each with its own conditions and type and then the follow up equations like hello😭

There should be an equation bank available to us during exams cause I literally cannot

[clearlytinyvampire]

Salam yall,

Yesterday, I learnt about cheap dopamine, and I think it was everything I needed to know about my brain chemistry. So like, yall know what's dopamine, right? It's the chemical in your brain that works as a reward system; so like when you eat your favourite food and you get that instant hit of joy and happiness. Yep, that's a dopamine hit.

Now the purpose of dopamine is to reward you for hardwork and the suffering that comes when you're grinding for a task (e.g. after a workout or like when you work super hard for a test and it's over; that feeling of happiness and satisfaction). It happens so you can remain motivated to do your daily hardwork and hence, remain disciplined.

Now comes the cheap dopamine hits. These dopamine hits are when you do something and it gives you that instant shot of happiness and joy. Like eating that burger from that particular restraunt. Or a more common example is the constant doomscrolling we all are addicted to some extent. It gives you 2 or 3 times the normal dopamine hits and mind you this type of dopamine comes without hardwork/grinding/discipline. Its like you lay in bed all day on your phone scrolling, eating junk food and you're still getting the dopamine. Now thats what we call "Cheap dopamine" because 1) It does not come off as a reward like the real purpose of dopamine is to reward you for good stuff yet this one comes by rewarding you for being lazy. 2) Its 2 or 3 times greater than the normal good dopamine hits you experience.

This is why these kinds of dopamine hits are bad for you.

1. Your brain gets addicted to those high dopamine levels. That is why many of us find ourselves constantly seeking a chance to scroll even when we have a high priority task at hand. It's like the key to unlocking all sorts of addictions; junk food, reels, or worse, like alcohol or drugs.

2. Your discipline is outta the window. Because when your brain is getting the cheap dopamine for free why will there be any motivation for you to grind or work hard. (Now that I think this might be the reason I am such a procrastinator😭)

In Islam, we have this thing called "nafs." Your nafs is the source to ALL your desires and cravings. A bowl of ramen almost every week even when I know it's gradually weakening my gut health, but, Oh I feel like it. Yep, that's nafs. Or the urge to nap in a physics lecture. It's like the powerhouse that pushes you to do stuff that may be harmful for you and even the community (e.g. stealing or trespassing just for the thrill of it). So, in Islam, we are told to constantly fight against our nafs. We also have a term for it "Jihad bil nafs" (Jihad means to fight). According to Quran and Sunnah, it is the hardest form of fighting. Because the thing is, your nafs is like a baby. The more you give in to it, the more spoiled it gets. You have to be firm with it. The one thing I have learnt is to go for the harder, more challenging stuff. Like take a cold instead of a hot shower in the morning, do things that constantly require effort from you. Actively prevent yourself from giving in to your nafs even in small harmless things, for example, not leaving dishes in the sink or making your bed first thing in the morning. All of this is training to your nafs so it is not as evil and does less work to push you in the loophole of desires . While doing all of this, you're actively blocking the cheap dopamine.

A few things that we are taught for Jihad bil nafs:

Reflection: Think about your purpose and how much you are actively locking in for it. How much effort are you doing for your future? Are you leaving room for regrets? If you're Muslim, reflect upon the Day of Judgement, and the fact that you will be held accountable for the time and resources you wasted, and questioned for the sins you committed and harm you brought upon yourself and on the people around you.

Firmness: This is literally all I wrote above on how to challenge yourself. You can also take inspiration from the life of Prophet Muhummad (PBUH) even if you're not Muslim.

Self evaluation: Reflect on a daily basis on your actions. Now I know it's hard when all you want to do is dump your body on the bed and snore, but being held accountable brings shame and guilt, which eventually pushes you to perform better. Someone once told that writing an hourly diary on what they did during that particular hour worked wonders for them. So erm, if you can go for it 💪 (cuz I sure could not do it😭). My only evaluation was done by my Asian mother, and that kinda worked for me, so I still need to work on my Self evaluation skills👾.

You can set goals for yourself to work against your bad habits. For example, no social media at least 2 hours after waking up.

If you're Muslim, please please please remember Allah using His names. When I tell you, it works WONDERS it does. Like praying to Allah for help, success, being grateful, when scared, guilty. ANYTHING. I repeat anything. Just remember Allah. It's like the key to everything. Also, Allah has asked believers to call upon Him using His Names, and He will respond.

Here are some Names of Allah you can use while making Dua:

Al Fattah (The Opener)

An Nafi (The Benefactor)

Al Wahhab (The Bestower)

An Nasir (The Helper)

Al Mujib (The Responsive)

As Salam (The Source of Peace)

There are ofcourse 99 names, but you can use these to get started.

If you've read till here tell me what you think of all of this.

Love yall,

Aish<3

[vittosecretdiary]

[clearlytinyvampire]

Hey, first ever post i guess hehe

I have like a 1000 tumblr post on pintrest, and boy, I think it was time I joined the platform. So yep here I am in hopes to write stupid blogs and all the things my inner child loved writing about.

For now, I am stuck with finals (Alevel CAIES) and the constant heartbreak cuz up till now atleast 70% exams were leaked. But hey I am gonna suck it up and try giving it the best I could yk. So toxic study motivations here I come.

Also how many tags am I supposed to add😭

[bloomzone]

2025: #13 The Wake-Up Call: stop wasting time and own ur education

⚠️ : harsh motivation

『Let me cut the bullshit and get straight to the point: you’re wasting your life. I said it. u sit there, complaining about school, whining about how “hard” it is, scrolling through your phone like the world owes u something Cuz it doesn’t. No one is coming to save your lazy ass.』

✒️..Cuz a big number of ppl think education is a joke !? You think skipping class, half-assing assignments, and coasting through life on autopilot is cute? Hell nah pookie. It’s fucking pathetic. While you’re sitting there making excuses—“I’m too tired,” “This subject is boring,” “I don’t see the point”—there’s someone out there grinding, pushing, sacrificing everything for the life you’re too scared to fight for.Do you know what it feels like to be stuck? To have doors slammed in your face because you didn’t put in the work? That’s the life you’re signing up for every time u choose to be lazy. Every time you say, “Fuck it, I’ll do it tomorrow,” you’re digging your own grave. You’re giving up on the one shot you have to make something of yourself.

But you’re not completely fucked yet.

Yeah, school sucks sometimes. I get it. Waking up early, dealing with uninspiring teachers, and subjects that feel pointless—it can feel like a waste. But here’s the truth: life doesn’t care. The world is cutthroat, and if you don’t show up, it’ll eat you alive. You either hustle, or you get crushed. That’s it.

So, what do you do? You fucking start. No more excuses, no more procrastinating. Here’s how to get your shit together:

1. Set a Fucking Goal

Stop floating around like a goddamn leaf in the wind. What do you want? What’s the dream? You can’t hit a target you don’t aim for. Write it down. Visualize it. Make it so real in your mind that you can taste it. Whether it’s becoming a doctor, starting a business, or simply getting out of your current situation—know your “why.”

2. Get Ruthless About Your Time

Stop wasting hours scrolling through TikTok, bingeing Netflix, or playing dumbass mobile games. Track your time. Every second you waste is a second you’re giving to someone who’s working harder than you. Use a planner, set alarms, make a schedule—whatever it takes to get shit done.

3. Start Small, Stay Consistent

You don’t have to study for eight hours on day one. Start with 30 minutes of focused work. Use the Pomodoro method: 25 minutes of pure focus, 5-minute break. Do that four times, and you’ve already put in two solid hours. Consistency beats motivation every damn time.

4. Stop Waiting for Motivation

Motivation is bullshit. It’s flaky, unreliable, and temporary. What you need is discipline. Discipline is doing what needs to be done, even when you don’t feel like it. Hate studying? Too bad. Set a timer and do it anyway. No one said this would be fun .l talked abt this click here !

5. Surround Yourself with Hungry People

If your friends are lazy, you’ll be lazy too. Cut out anyone who’s dragging you down. Find people who are grinding, who push you to be better, who make you uncomfortable in your mediocrity. If you can’t find those people, be that person. Lead the fucking way.

6. Own Your Failures

Stop blaming teachers, parents, or the system. If you failed, it’s on you. Take responsibility and learn from it. Failure isn’t the end—it’s feedback. It’s the world telling you where you need to improve. Use it.

7. Reward Yourself, But Only After You Earn It

Studied for two hours? Cool. Take a 15-minute break. Finished your assignment? Great. Watch an episode of your favorite show. But don’t let rewards come before the work. Earn your dopamine hits—they’ll feel a hell of a lot better.

8. Stop Romanticizing “Easy”

Nothing worth having comes easy. You’re not entitled to success; you have to fight for it. The grind is what separates the winners from the losers. Fall in love with the process, even when it sucks. Because that’s where growth happens.

9. Remember Who the Fuck You Are

You’re not some weak, helpless victim. You have the power to change ur life, but only if you stop feeling sorry for yourself. The world doesn’t owe you shit. You owe it to yourself to rise up, to push harder, to become the person you know you can be.

10. Think Long-Term

When you’re tempted to slack off, think about your future self. Five years from now, do you want to look back and say, “I gave it my all,” or do you want to drown in regret, wishing you could go back and do things differently? The choice is yours—every single day.

Stop Fucking Around

You’re not a kid anymore. This is your life. Every decision you make is shaping your future, whether you like it or not. You have one shot at this. Stop wasting it. Get off your ass, open your books, and start fighting for the life you want.

the pain of hard work is temporary, but the pain of regret lasts forever. So choose wisely. Do the work. Stay hungry. And when you’ve finally made it—when you’re living the life you once dreamed of—you’ll look back and thank yourself for not giving up.

@bloomzone 📇