Bonjour/Hi!
First of all, I want to take a second and show appreciation for all of the characters who were set aside or not appreciated enough. I’ve been here since the beginning and I saw them come and go with a heavy heart. There were so many good characters, but they were always left in the shadows. If you’re still around and playing one of those forgotten muses, just know somebody loved them.
I am not being hypocritical. I brought my fair share of negativity and bad behaviours. I joiend with a faceclaim that turned out to be highly problematic and took an awfully long time to change things up like it truly ~mattered~. I did my fair share of bubble roleplay (sometimes it was more like by default than by choice) but I did it and I’m not proud of it but I have the self-awareness to admit it. I chased after faceclaims too. There was a time where I focused on potentially romantic threads and neglected platonic connections. I didn’t participate enough in the events. I didn’t open my mind wide enough to reply to starters that maybe were too out of character for my muses, but still deserved attention. I should have messaged other people.
I should have tried harder. I always promised myself to do this. I was foolish enough to think that replying to one or two open starters would work. I was fooling enough to think that leaving supportive tags under my replies would work. I know now that was stupid. As someone who joined since the true beginning, I should have made new people feel welcome and appreciated instead of focusing on the fact a starter was not fitting my muse enough and without plotting it felt odd to reply. Making new people feel included and appreciated: that was, is and always will be the duty of everyone in a roleplay group.
Still, even when I was not posting, even during my hiatuses, I always kept an eye on the dashboard and I saw those forgotten and set aside characters and read their tasks and starters and interactions. I loved them all. I believe every character in this group deserved to be put on the same pedestal as that very specific handful of special muses that got too much praise for questionable reasons.
I have never stayed in a group for so long. The truth is, I’ve wanted to leave for a while, but I always had reasons to stay. Whether it was because of characters I loved or my own characters I hoped to develop, I could not bring myself to leave just yet. I felt like if I stayed, maybe some issues would get solved and this group would reflect on the ideals it has set for itself. Transparency. Inclusivity. Warmth, and so on. Again, I know for a fact I was not active and I should have devoted more time for this group. I apologize for all of the abandoned threads along the way.
Whether it’s about cliques, bubble roleplay, undeserving praise, unfair treatments, this group has had issues like any other. Except, they never really got resolved. Instead of addressing it publicly, instead of making it clear that the voices of those who had enough courage to call out issues were heard. Instead of openly and sincerely acting on the issues, things were brushed under the rug. An ooc warning every now and then, free passes for a handful of people, sudden unfollows. The issues were not solved, they just kept getting worse.
Granted, I have never gathered enough courage to speak up. I have never gathered enough courage to ring bells. So to all of those who actually did speak up but were silenced, I’m so sorry. But I’m very proud of you still. You deserved so much more. You deserved to be heard, to feel included and to feel appreciated. You gave proof, but you only faced a closed door.
Yes, proof. Multiple people coming out and voicing their worries about similar issues. Multiple people leaving suddenly. This is proof. I completely disagree with using a degree as a justification to why one can pretend they never did anything wrong or take the blame off their shoulders. As I have mentioned quite a few times, I am a historian. I am a full time research assistant. I, too, love a good research assignment. I love searching for proof of a phenomenon. I love understanding said proof, and said phenomenon. And the proof is right here. Nobody can blame their college classes for the fact they refuse to admit their flaws, their mistakes and their lack of judgement or action. If anything, a true researcher would have the reflex to admit they did something wrong, they made a mistake or they have to change their minds because they found out new information that disagree with their belief on a topic. This is part of any scientific methodology. And changing your mind, when you have proof, is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of transparency and integrity. Especially when the proof is right before your eyes.
How come nobody came and called out the issues sooner? Maybe it is because no action has truly been taken. Maybe it is because they knew it would be useless. Maybe it is because they felt like nobody cared enough about them and their contribution to the group. Maybe it’s because a minority of people blindly praising an admin team like they could never do wrong speaks louder than a majority of members trying to show something is off.
Serious actions need to be taken. Serious changes need to be made.
As long as nothing is done, I don’t want to be a part of group that claims things they never truly put into action. Cliques, bubble roleplay and worshipping a handful of ships are one thing, but claiming to be diverse while most of your diverse muns and muses are excluded is a whole other story. I stand by the people and the characters of colour who were ignored, set aside or accused of things other people did without consequences.
I wish I could have been more active and given all of you guys the love you deserve.
Thank you to everyone who interacted with Clémentine, Sapphire and Karyanne. Thank you to those who might have supported them from a distance and we never truly talked, ooc or ic. I’m still thankful for this group because I met amazing people and I interacted with amazing characters. I’m still thankful for every interactions or connections, small or big. I’m still thankful because, for a while, it was a safe place and a safe escape. I don’t really have hard feelings against any of you. I’m just disappointed that we’re reached this point.. The fact nothing was, or has ever been, addressed publicly, the fact the pages were updated oh-so quickly like everything needed to be erased, the fact the dash moved back to normal as if nothing happened... This is not being transparent. This is not showing you want to change. This is pretending everything is fine and hoping people forget.
Solutions are still available. Find an admin team who is truly transparent, who believes their members and who is willing to take actions when needed. Yes, I believe changing adminds would be the best solution. The fact that two of them stepped down, probably to avoid taking responsability, is quite suspicious. The one remaining is still a huge part of the problem. Make efforts to be more inclusive. Stop focusing on endgame ships, focus on all of the amazing friendships that could blossom instead. Don’t drop muses because they didn’t find a ship within a week. Don’t facechase. Don’t deny the proof. Now is not the time to ask people for what is wrong with the group, because at this point, it is only rhetorical.
The best solution is to close the group and keep interacting with your ship partners. That way, you can worship the same handful of people and you can be blinded by a few members praising this group and refusing to see the problems. But the thing is, people might join again. They might join because they believed the promises of inclusivity. They might join because nothing was addressed publicly. They might join and face walls if their character is of colour, if their character is different or too original, if their character is not seeking for ships. They might face the same problems as everybody who left.
Lead by example. And, right now, the example you are giving is one of cliques, ships, lack of transparency and borderline racism. We’ll say it like it is.
Still being a part of this group, as it is currently, is being complicit of a narrative that goes beyond cliques and ships being more important than genuine connections. I don’t want to support such a thing.
Until then, I wish everyone well. I truly do! I met amazing people here and whether we still talk or not, I really liked you guys. The creativity, the amazing characters, the everything. There were so many good things, but there are so many bad things too. I don’t want to set the blame on anyone specifically. This is not a witch hunt. If the shoe fits, then you will know. I still wanted to express myself because we all carried a piece of that blame and we all need to acknowledge it and act on it rather than closing our eyes and keep on keeping on like nothing has ever happened. I hope this group changes into a healthy, inclusive and welcoming place where everyone and every characters are loved equally. If it happens, then I will happily join again if I am allowed to (because, well, I’d understand if this statement was too blunt). Or, at least, I will look back on my time here and be happy that changes were finally made.
I know this was long. I needed to take this off my chest. Thank you for the opportunities. Thank you for giving the hope that this could be a different place. Thank you to those who cared about inclusivity and diversity.
Take care. Treat people (and yourselves) with kindness. I love you guys and I’ll miss you. Go watch a Barbie movie, will you? It’s for self care purposes! <3
Laurie 🧡 🍊
