𝖓𝖔 𝖒𝖔𝖗𝖊 𝖙𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖘

I can't remember the last time I took a minute to myself. I just forget about me. I got this tendency of seeing what I wanna see, believing what I wanna believe. I'd like to think I'm deserving of something better. I was too in it, took me too long to admit it, took so long 'til I could finally see. One of these days, I'll be out of my way I'll be in a new place. I'll be okay, I'll be just fine. I got some time. I just hope someone will say I got you, like you got you.

[kamsaelim]

    ♦ this is biological stasis. my mood's shifting to manic places               wish i loved, and kept the good friendships                         watch life, here i go again !!

POP A 911 // fashion emergency !!       ✄ tired of frying his hair blonde for the hell of it & inspired by lady gaga’s short film ‘911′, kam has decided to spice things up by adding some color to it & become a pastel fantasy to his delirious world.

[kamsaelim]

𝖘𝖔𝖕𝖍𝖎𝖆​:

Sophia listened as Kam started talking about his dreams and goals, frowning slightly as he assumed she wouldn’t care about them. The frown deepening more as he went on about being fired. “I’m not sure if it’s the main goal but I think everyone needs dreams and goals in their life. Give them something to work towards. Besides I love hearing about other peoples bucket lists.” Sophia admitted with a smile. “Although I will admit you might have to educate me on the pastel fantasy thing but I’d love to hear about the easy bake oven I have to ask though were you really fired?” Her min quickly went to how she could help Kam if he actually had gotten fired.  “I mean I have a good job and great friends so I can’t complain. But maybe a dream would be to travel or do a show on broadway.” 

❝ i love listening to someone else telling me about their dreams too though. i envision them in the back of my head as they continue to pour words into me & i send them the best of vibes, hoping they’ll be able to make all of them come true. cheesy, i know, but...  ❞ kam gives a light shrug & chuckles lightly. ❝ i’ve yet to be fired. i hope i am not... i would really struggle a lot with rent if i was & now i feel compromised to a double power because i have a roomie. ❞ he arches his brows & tilts his head slightly. ❝ you sing ? i’d love to hear you sing one day. what’s your favorite musical, my darling ? you are honestly so beautiful, i can see you making it big. not to say only looks matter, but being realistic... in that sort of environment, it does matter kind of a lot. ugh, am i being rude ? ❞

[kamsaelim]

𝖈𝖆𝖒𝖊𝖗𝖔𝖓​:

“So my adoptive parents told me that my birth parents abandoned me at a hospital, but as it turns out, that was a lie. They died in a car accident when I was two months old. So that’s fun.” She answered flatly. “Anyway,  I need the hard stuff. Like, the super hard stuff.”

❝ oh, fuck... ❞ kam remains in silence briefly & doesn’t do much other than standing still & placing his hand on one of her shoulders for a couple of seconds. then he quickly wraps both of his arms tightly around her. ❝ i am so very sorry this is a truth that’s been revealed to you after years of believing something else. i... think i could relate to what you’re saying right now. my parents passed in a car accident, except i was there to witness it myself. it’s awful that you’ve been lied to like this. why did they do it ? i’m... actually pretty upset over this. i feel like personally arguing with them. ❞

[kamsaelim]

𝖖𝖚𝖎𝖓𝖓​:

There’s something so magnetic about Kam - it could very well be his personality or it could have to do with his appearance and the way he carries himself outwardly. Kam’s confidence shines through without shoving their ego down other’s throats - at least not from the few encounters she’s shared with them. She laughed a bit when the joke hit but, mostly, Quinn found herself enraptured by his presence rather than his words. However, another laugh escaped her when she completely realized that pastel fantasy has nothing to do with make up and everything to do with hair. When he asked if she cared whether he touches her hair, she shook her head with a firm “go ahead.” As they began to explain pastel blue might go better with such a combative soul - the compliment on top of the fact that Kam was so clearly referencing D.Va had Quinn’s eyes widening with genuine delight. That’s right, he was the one to bring of Mortal Kombat prior, after all. “Pink’s my favorite color but you are fucking selling it with pastel blue - does ombre have to do with layers?” Quinn asked, taking a stab in the dark with that term. Once more, Kam managed to surprise her - specifically with his wording, describing himself as a harlot and how that’s managed to keep him employed rather than get him fired. “Y’know, I was about to ask if you are implying that you’re a sex worker but I imagine taking naps on a job like that would get you fired fast. What is it that you do, exactly?”

while it may come off as something entirely creepy coming from a regular fella who’s approaching such a beautiful woman, touching someone else’s hair is always quite the experience to him & this isn’t going to be the exception. first he measures its length, followed by checking the ends of it & nodding in silence approving of them. it’s also very relaxing to run his fingers through it, gently combing it before he shakes it lightly & steps back after his brief inspection. ❝ your hair is really healthy & soft, quinn. i’d love to work on it if you were to allow me to do that. free of charge, of course !! but that doesn’t mean that you won’t have hair salon results. now talking about ombré, i could tell you it’s characterized by two different tones of one same color. on top it’s darker, usually perfectly blended with the natural color of your hair, & by the time it reaches the tips of it, the color turns lighter. it’s cheaper than any other techniques, as usually you only need to retouch the ends & the damage it could do to them isn’t that bad as we could always trim them, at least it’s not as it would be with fully bleached hair. like my own !! if you wanted layers added to your hair though, i could also cut it & give your this fierce mecha pilot goddess with messy hair look. the girl everyone has the fattest lesbian crush on. me included, respectfully !! ❞ kam opens his eyes widely at the insinuation of his occupation initially, but then he lets out a loud laughter & he feels tears quickly forming on the corners of his eyes. ❝ alright, that is something i wasn’t expecting. i know i might dress like a really posh sex worker, but i’m not one. i haven’t seen myself needing to do it. although i do believe rumor has it in vesta that i’m too easy. it’s not my fault people aren’t used to pda as much as i am !! i’m a bartender though. i do have a story to tell. i once had a tiny nap while having sex. it was one of those micro sleep moments & i was like woah wait, what’s going on in here ? & then i remembered where i was. funny, but freaky, but then again that would be my code name in prison. so... shall we give you a diva realness makeover ? pun intended with that one word i just used. surprise !! i’m a casual gamer too. a bot killer. ❞

[kamsaelim]

𝖉𝖆𝖕𝖍𝖓𝖊​:

The second his phone comes out, Daphne was easing her way up closer, already prepared to get a good look at a furry friend. Her grin widened, eyes narrowing in the process. “No, it’s perfect! I had a stuffed animal when I was a kid named Woofy — my cat’s lucky I wasn’t the only one deciding on his name.” She slipped her phone out to find one of the many pictures of Gus she had taken just in the last week, holding her phone up only when she found one that wasn’t a messy blur of black fur. “Me and my ex adopted my Gus when we moved here some years ago. His legs are a lil too short for his body and he throws a fit when I get more attention than he does, but I love him. Wouldn’t trade him for the world. He’s eight now and he still acts like he’s a little kitten.” She barely forced herself not to swipe quickly through her pictures of her beloved pet, akin to an overbearing parent showing off pictures of their children. “Oh, I’ve got no problem burning myself on my own already. Did you know that taking shit out of the oven with a damp oven mitt hurts and is actually stupid to do? Yeah, I learned that recently.”

❝ isn’t it adorable when older pets still act like they’re either puppies or kittens ? my parents have this beagle dog who is old enough to be a senior citizen in human years, but he insists on acting like he was a bratty pup. he throws a lot of tantrums & is too demanding of their attention. good thing they don’t work a lot anymore & they can satisfy his extreme need for affection. in a way, i feel that dog & myself are one. but this one here, ❞ he points at the screen of her cellphone & then wipes an imaginary tear off his cheek, shaking his head at his own dramatic antics & chuckles. ❝ beautiful. i love cats. they’re the best & the most misunderstood animals in the whole wide world. i don’t consider spiders as animals though. those are lovely spawns of satan. can you imagine nature thinking ‘yep, let’s give them eight legs, make them hairy as fuck & add whichever number of eyes you feel like it’ ? ❞ his jaw drops & he instinctively checks her hand to verify the damage caused during said incident wasn’t pertinent. ❝ that’s very silly of you !! but i’ve been there. hence why that alleged insult is coming out of a place of love, i swear. we could bake together, get burned & let out children meet one day. sounds like a plan. but... you got to keep him after the breakup. that’s rad. you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to !! ❞

[kamsaelim]

kam ✉ khalid

khalid: hey babe

khalid: you feeling better?

khalid: uhhhh you want to talk over phone or text?

khalid: if it's the phone you gotta give me like fifteen minutes.

kam: i think i do? i had a lot to drink earlier...

kam: if you don't mind hearing my constant sniffling & random sobbing, then ig we could talk over phone?

kam: are you still at the event?

kam: are you busy...?

kam: i'm sorry if i interrupted you...

[dwight-schrutes]

my only two moods

[tenicons]

ten dubbing the turn back time teasers 

[kamsaelim]

𝖑𝖞𝖘𝖆​:

Lysa let out a light chuckle, her fingertips tapping a slow rhythm against the cool surface of the cup. “It does a little, yeah. I mean, not exactly the ‘knocked out in thirty minutes’ sleepy, but the good ‘my work’s done for the day, time to relax and tap out’ sleepy, I guess? Besides, I think I’m a little too old for things like.. uh, tequila shots, anyway? Definitely too old to have it as my drink of choice.” Finishing it up with a smiley shrug, she brought the straw to her lips again, before tilting her head forward in a nod. “Mhm, I think it’s vodka? Mine’s with sparkling water and non-alcoholic ginger ale, of course, but I’m pretty sure the original’s with vodka, yeah. I take it that’s not your go-to drink either?”

❝ that sounds like something i wish i could afford. the whole idea of ‘my work’s done for the day, time to relax & tap out’, i mean. my sleeping schedule is all sorts of fucked up, so even if i was to follow that, i’m certain i’d wake up later in the middle of the night. not to mention bartending usually has me up until late. i hate my life choices. but what are you on ? alcoholic drinks don’t have an age limit, girl. ❞ kam chuckles louder than he’d expected to, so he quickly brings a hand up to cover his mouth & bows his head down apologetically to her. ❝ i tend to drink a lot of cocktails with vodka in them. it’s what knocks your senses out the fastest, i guess. i am just a guy with a crazy lifestyle. or at least it was like that when i lived in new york. now i am surrounded by 40 year old virgins. ❞

[kamsaelim]

𝖏𝖆𝖘𝖔𝖓​:

“ Is it time for the ever impending ‘what to dress up as Halloween’ talk now? I recognize not everyone participates in the holiday though, but if you’ve got a suggestion I’m willing to hear it. Might give the best suggestion like twenty bucks for it. ” 

@vestalanding​

❝ only psychopaths don’t participate in the holiday, what are you saying ? listen, this is sort of predictable but cute ? what if, but only if, because i got some more ideas cookin’... first of all, you shove up your money up your arse. i’m not a charity act !! second, lottie could be wearing a very, very beautiful tinkerbell look that will be crafted by no other genius than moi, while you can be peter pan !! i’m thinking of a couple costume kind of thing because it’d be so cute if you two went trick or treating, but you can totally ignore my idea. i can give you some for yourself that don’t involve you looking twice your age because of your clothes. but if you do wanna do it, please do not wear tights. your... bottom would be so distracting. as if it isn’t distracting enough already. it’s just... so perfect. i mean, i’m talking about my idea, ha. not about your arse, mate. we’re mates after all !! ❞

[kamsaelim]

𝖈𝖆𝖒𝖊𝖗𝖔𝖓​:

“Please.” She groaned as she got some money from her bag. “Because honestly, my week went from behind decent to ‘oh god, someone kill me, please’ and now I need to drown out my misery.” 

❝ what’s wrong ? you can always tell me more about what bothers you. maybe i’m not like this super intimate friend of yours, but i’m always here to listen, you know ? what do you feel like drinking ? should we go for the hardcore stuff ? ❞

[kamsaelim]

𝖏𝖆𝖒𝖎𝖊​:

       the  good  mood  jamie  had  been  riding  on  after  petting  of  the  nearby  horses  slowly  began  to  deflate  like  a  balloon  once  it  seemed  as  though  kam  didn’t  appreciate  his  morning  wake  up  call  like  he’d  expected.  his  lips  are  quick  to  quirk  downward,  his  bottom  lip  jutted  out  into  a  petulant  pout  and  he  momentarily  hangs  his  head  in  shame.  ❝  i’m  from  america  —  south  carolina  to  be  exact  but  i  didn’t  think  different  countries  had  customs  about  it.  besides,  i  wasn’t  preaching  !!  i  was  offering  !!  my  smoothies  are  delicious  and  if  you  don’t  like  yoga  in  the  morning  then  i  can  fit  you  into  one  of  my  courses  later  in  the  day.  the  women  dress  like  those  90’s  workout  videos  and  it  makes  me  want  a  pair  of  legwarmers.  i  think  my  legs  would  look  awesome  in  them,  yeah  ??  but  anyways,  i  missed  you  !!  i  felt  like  i  hadn’t  seen  you  in  a  while  and  what  if  something  happened  to  you  ??  we’re  roomies  now  —  we  gotta  look  out  for  each  other  !!  what  if  i  hadn’t  come  in  and  it  turned  into  a  michael  jackson  annie  are  you  okay  moment  ??  ❞  jamie  rambled  off,  tone  raising  in  volume  and  almost  out  of  breath  by  the  end.  it  was  a  valid  concern  to  be  worried  about  your  roomie.  all  roomies  should  get  along.  chocolate  hues  focus  back  on  kam  and  are  widened  imploringly  when  they  drop  down  to  the  hand  offered  to  him.  after  a  moment’s  pause,  jamie  cocked  his  head  to  the  side  and  shrugged  before  taking  kam’s  hand  and  lacing  their  fingers  together.  ❝  i  dunno  —  why  are  you  asking  me  about  that  ??  ❞  jamie  laughed  as  he  began  to  guide  kam  toward  the  tent  he  saw  earlier  of  a  palm  reader.  ❝  i  don’t  know  anything  but  maybe  this  palmist  will  !!  who  knows,  maybe  you  already  met  your  soulmate.  timing  is  a  fickle  thing  and  that’s  what  happened  to  my  parents  !!  they’re  totally  soulmates  but  timing  wasn’t  on  their  side.  anyways,  i  think  soulmates  exist  and  you  seem  nice  enough  for  karma  to  bless  you  with  a  cool  soulmate.  ❞

❝ this is what we’re not going to do, captain i’m from america. that shit, ❞ he mumbles rapidly & even stumbles upon his own words as he points at the filthy pout that had formed on his roommate’s lips just moments ago. maybe he shouldn’t be so harsh on the other, mostly because he willingly accepted to be his roommate when quite frankly, kam is the worst person to have around in a home sort of environment. it’s not like he’s that much of a mess or anything, he’s always cleaning up & making everything look as neat as possible, cooking & minding his own business most of the time, but he can be... too much. people have mentioned it in the past & at that times that got him in trouble back in new york with his previous roommates. if that happened when surrounded by friends, what could happen if he was to be living with a stranger ? ❝ i’ve thankfully not stared at your legs. no offense. but i cannot see you as anything other than my cool roommate. if i stare at body parts, usually my eyes wander other places &... enough about that !! if there’s a reason why the 90s shouldn’t be forgiven, it’s because of those awful legwarmers too, so don’t. i... don’t like yoga. i’ve tried it before & it’s not what i like doing. i need something more lively than stretching in a million different positions & breathing deeply. but hold that thought... that song is about someone being murdered ?! i... didn’t know that. what ? this is why they shouldn’t have taken that one lyrics meanings dot com website. fuck genius. ❞ there’s a sudden shiver that runs along his spine rapidly & kam’s cheeks turn a bright red color, one that spreads out along his skin when he notices how uncomfortably intimate his roommate is acting towards him out of a sudden. there is yet another truth about kam that has gotten him in trouble before & that’s how touchy he can be with others when most of these badly interpreted pda acts have no underlying meaning behind them. it’s just the way that he is. but having fingers intertwined with one another ? nope. too much. only couples do that. the meltdown he’s going through is too real when, despite the bright burn on his cheeks, he feels like he’s about to faint because of how weakened he is by jamie’s actions. nevertheless his body follows the instructions of walking right behind the other, brain dead & eyes blank as he does. ❝ i... ❞ he pulls his hand away from him & gives him a couple of gentle smacks on his shoulder. ❝ don’t think soulmates are real. they... are part of a world of fiction. also, roommates cannot be soulmates. thought of disclosing that to the world. i tricked you into thinking i would believe in anything like that & i... fuck. it’s kind of hot in here, isn’t it ? i might pass out any second. ❞

[kamsaelim]

𝖆𝖑𝖊𝖈​:

“okay, okay, i wont climb the tree, only because i don’t want to see you cry over me. but i promise not to tell anyone you’re a crier as long as you do the same. i bet you’re a very adorable crier. probably one of those that could be on tv who make crying look so perfect. i just look like a mess when i do.” with their arms linked, alec pretended to act defeated, but ended up laughing along with kam. he didn’t really give much thought to holidays. this would be his third year doing his own thing and at this point, it just became his new normal. after everything with his father, it was better than pretended to be someone he wasn’t even just for a day. “yeah, normally just take out food and my couch for the holidays. but i’d love to spend the day with you. so much better than being shut in my apartment all day on my couch. last year, i didn’t even realize it was christmas until, like, ten o’clock at night,” he replied with a chuckle. it was sad, but alec didn’t really mind. christmas was always his least favorite holiday even before his dad kicked him out. “i love halloween makeup! i can’t do real makeup but halloween is my shit. the more fake blood, the better. plus i love decorating my apartment. the second i see the decorations go out in stores, i always end up spend way too much money than i should, but it’s always worth it. oh, you like making things too? i used to give my friends paintings back when i was in college because i never had any money. well, i still don’t have money, but you know what i mean. i feel like hand made gifts are always so much better and more personal.”

❝ what are you... ❞ even though the comment does make him feel flusttered ( & it’s evident by the blush that quickly lights up his cheeks ), he fights against what’s just been said about him by playfully smacking alec’s shoulder & promptly covering his face with both of his hands. ❝ just tell me one person who looks adorable when they cry ? exactly. no one !! my nose turns just as red as my eyes do too & it’s a horrible thing to witness. ❞ kam continues to deny that as a possibility to alec for this year’s holidays & he’s certain that he could at least do something for them. ❝ we could have decent food & watch something if that what you’d like to do, but i don’t want you to be lonely for the holidays. no one deserves that. i... grew up in two different homes where the holidays truly were sacred. not really talking about christmas back in thailand, but other festivities were of importance to my parents. my, uh, if i have to call her like that i will but she’s still my mom, but to mark a difference, my adoptive mother is in love with thanksgiving & christmas. so she always took it to the next level. i’m not that crazy about it, but yeah, i can work on it. ❞ kam gently nudges his arm excitedly & he lightly hops as they continue to make their way back to civilization, briefly forgetting about the fact that he’s talked about handmade presents that are to be given to his companion later in time. ❝ can we go on a halloween shopping spree ? would you let me try some looks on you ? just to have fun. i can cook something & you’ll get us the drinkie-drinks, how about that ? maybe we can do it shortly after my birthday. ❞

[kamsaelim]

𝖆𝖑𝖊𝖈​:

“i totally get that though, not that i’ve tattooed anyone else before, but it’s kind of like how artist can spend hours and hours on this piece of work and then after they walk out the door, they may never see it again. kinda makes it feel like you’re doing all that work and you don’t even get to enjoy it yourself. like you get to enjoy doing it but still not the same. does that make sense?” alec put his hand on the back of his neck as he spoke, something he did far too often. “i’m sure whatever you decide to do, it will look amazing but i would definitely have a soft spot for medusa. not only is she badass, but her story is just so raw and real. and you could totally pull it off,” he said with a nod, looking over to kam to see him blushing from his own excitement. he couldn’t help but think how cute of a sight it was. “it’s not annoying at all. i like talking to you and don’t mind your rambles at all. i’m happy to listen. oh, is that so? well in that case…!” he paused for a second as if he was going to request something outrageous before finally making his request. “i’ll just take a beer, i’m not super picky.”

❝ you haven’t tattooed anyone yet ? hm, i know a guy who’d be willing to offer himself as volunteer so you’d test things out, if you’d like. he sort of owes me or i’d like to assume he does. but everything you say does makes sense. it’s frustrating, but at the same time it warms my heart. i do have a question & i hope it doesn’t stir any negativity or some shit like that, i swear i’m just curious !! isn’t it frightening that your work is to be on someone else’s skin forever ? i know that if i fuck things up, i can get a wipe & it’s gone so i can try again, but it’s not the same with what you do for a living. ❞ kam nods slowly & smiles brightly to him before gently placing his hand on top of alec’s shoulder. ❝ i’ll work on medusa first. just because you asked for it & i can never turn down the suggestions of a cutie. ❞ it’s somewhat inducing of nervousness to wait for whatever his friend is about to order, wondering if he’d have enough money to spend on it & suddenly feeling guilt building up in the pit of his stomach as he wishes he could spend money as he wishes to without worrying too much about it. it’s a bad habit he needs to get rid of, but he can sigh relieved when, after the very prolonged moment of suspense, he asks for something simple. ❝ you... i’ll go get it. really. making me sweat a fat one for nothing. don’t they have hot dogs... i miss new york hot dogs. do you like them ? ah, wait, i’ll just... go get your beer. jeez, i need to stop talking !! ❞

[kamsaelim]

𝖘𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖆​:

Sienna was leaning against the counter, papers spread across its whole surface in front of her as she scoured their pages. She was so focused on what she was reading that she forgot about her bandaged hand, going to lean on it before she gasped at the pain as soon as she put pressure on the injury. “Son of a-” She glanced up, smiling sheepishly when she noticed that she had drawn someone’s attention, “Sorry, just got super lost in what I was reading for a sec. Did you need anything?”

@vestalanding​

kam is slightly startled by the way her calm poise changes when she leans on her seemingly injured hand & he holds his own out instinctively, although he pulls it back right away but still offers her a small smile. ❝ ah, i’m sorry for disrupting you like this. i thought you had a lot in your mind & then that happened. are you alright though ? i was just trying to see if i could sit besides you. i don’t really need to put my cup on the counter though. i need to relax for a second. do you mind ? ❞

[kamsaelim]

𝖏𝖆𝖒𝖎𝖊​:

       ❝  i  was  out  grocery  shopping  earlier  after  my  teaching  my  last  yoga  class  and  i  was  looking  for  a  specific  flavor  of  cheez-it’s  but  then  got  distracted  by  that  giant  lobster  tank  by  the  seafood  department.  isn’t  it  sad  that  the  lobsters  pretty  much  hang  out  there  only  to  be  bought  and  eaten  by  people  ??  living  to  be  placed  in  a  pot  and  be  boiled  ??  anyways,  i  didn’t  get  my  cheez-it’s  but  i  ended  up  buying  all  the  lobsters  so  i’m  trying  to  figure  out  what  to  do  with  them  so  they  can  live  a  fruitful  life  out  of  grocery  stores  and  people’s  stomachs.  ❞  @vestalanding​

❝ jamie... ❞ the shock denoted on his demeanor is one that might be comparable to one connoting absolute horror, but it’s impossible not to feel like that when he’s staring down at the buckets that are lined up in their small ( not to say tiny ) living room. his first instinct commands him to pick up the curious black cat that was sniffing one of them & holds him very close to his chest. ❝ if any of those hurt meow, i will put one of them under your sheets while you sleep so you’ll say goodbye to your possibly hairy balls. what were you thinking of when you bought all of them !? how much money did you even spend on them... those are really expensive, james franco. do you do the same for chickens, cows & fish ? no. you cannot have a farm in here, so don’t even fucking think about it. w-wait... are you a... ❞ he lets out a dramatic gasp & covers the cat’s ears as best as possible before he whispers to him the following statement. ❝ are you a vegan !? ❞

[dwight-schrutes]